My sister was going to write this but she decided not to. *sigh* So rorey. :(
My god I'm so… "Bored..." said Scout. "My god I want to do something other than beat in Blu skulls for once." He's right for once. Committing atrocious acts of violence like this is boring... maybe we should let them take the castle. All of a sudden the Announcer (How does that work here?) is yelling to abandon the castle. 'Have they become mind readers?'
"Oh shit, Scout, tell everyone to evacuate." I go down to the armory and grab my other knife and leather armor along with my bow. Hehe funny thing about my bow it can change into a person, aim itself, and make coffee. Tim said he has tons of things like that from his enchanting hobby. He's so nice. He also taught me a spell. I can go to my evil form without the whole evil part being in control now. Very useful it is. I wonder where Tim went anyway. "OH SHIT, BLU!" I yell. I quickly realize that my stealth advantage was lost.
And the Blu was all like "OH SHIT, KYLE!" Weird that Blu has a really high voice. Although I like his bow... wait are those... it's a she isn't it? "Wait, you're a chick aren't you?" I say. "Ummm… YA KNOW TOO MUCH!" She yells. And she takes aim at me. 'I like her accent and she looks pretty good and OH GOD NOT THE FACE.' I think as I am killed.
"…" This is death then, I like it here. Very cloudy but comfortable and why am I falling? Oh I'm being sent to hell then… Fuck. Several minutes of falling later I'm in hell talking to Satan. "And I said oatmeal is you crazy!" This is Satan, ladies and gentlemen. He's much nicer then the Christians would lead you to think. "Satan you are so random." Said I. "So yeah, want to take my job?" He had been explaining that God said Satan could go back to heaven if he found a replacement. God has been nicer since he was all about peace and shit. Also let slip he would let Jesus take the wheel when that happened. "Sure anything I should know?" I asked "Yeah you can summon demons and bring others back from the dead." Wow I now can make a band. "And no using the powers for making music… unless it would be really cool." Satan reminds me of my dad. "Cool let's do it! Wait is this going to hurt?" I ask "Like a mother!" Satan says with excitement in his voice. "Shit…" And then I pass out from the pain of becoming immortal.
Ugh, I thought other me stopped ending paragraphs like that? "OH GOD HE'S STILL ALIVE!" Oh me not her again. "Yes I am alive again; no I'm not a zombie, and stop yelling. Becoming immortal hurts my everything." I say. So this is what a hangover is like. "I'm so sorry for killing ya mate." Stupid trigger happy Australian. Well more string happy. Or maybe finger happy. Eh whatever trigger happy works. "So what are you doing apologizing it's your right? Anyway… wait I feel like I'm in bondage." I say. "Yeah about that mate…"
(Changing to Demo-Vision™)
They took me second best mate. I need to get out of the moat and to the Justin Case. That's what Kyle would have wanted. "WAIT! We need a head count." I yell to the rest of the team. "Let's see Scout, Solly, Pyro, Me, Heavy, Engie, Medic, and Spy. We lost Mundy!" I yell, just great first Kyle now Mundy. I wonder where he is. "I do have some info you would like." The spy says. "And that is?" I ask questioning how useful the information will be. "Zey are in bondage at ze hands of the Blus." Really… "MOTHERF-"
(Back to Kyle-Vision™)
"-UCKER!" Well at least Tavis got out. "Who was that?" The Blu girl asks. She's quite nice. She offered to let me go if I took her as well. "Tavis. So let's go." She cuffs me and leads me to the entrance… I mean the massive fucking hole. "So how did you guys get in?" I ask sarcastically. "I can just leave you mate." I shut up at that. "So what will happen to my family?" I ask because I honestly want to know. "Well the emperor only wanted you because you decided to kill the prince… brutally" I accept that. "But your family and friends will just be kept as advisors or to do their old job." So that's that. "So Mundy is going to be the sniper now?" I ask taking the guess he's still alive. "Most likely." I point to the coastline. "We have to go there." Well still need to get to the Justine. We walk in silence for a good twenty minutes. "So where are we going?" She asks. I break the cuffs and resist the urge to rub my wrists. "That's better. Well we are going to the meeting place. Then afterwards I was thinking to start my career as a pirate… you can come if you want." I say, always wanted to be an actual pirate. Their much more honorable then fiction would lead you to believe. "Like the kidnap, rape, and pillage type?" She asks with a look of horror. "No the kidnap, smuggle, pillage, and plunder kind. Why do you ask?" She looks nervous. "Well I'm out of a job now and most likely have a price on my head." She sighs. "So think I can have a job on board?" I look at her like she's crazy. "Well I do have an opening since Mundy's Blu now." I say in a chipper voice. "Well then its settled Mr. Johnson." She says.
"So why did you leave my knives?" I ask while approaching the ship. The Justin Case is a beautiful sloop of war. "Well I was going to let you go either way truth be told." That makes sense. I start to laugh. "What's so funny?" She asks. Really need to get her name. "I just remembered I wanted the castle to be taken I was so bored." I say finally. "By the by what's your name?" I ask inquisitively. "It's Sienna." I like that name. "You know I'm the devil." I say looking for another topic to talk about. The servant I was romancing only wanted the throne… bitch. "I doubt it." She says chuckling. "It's true actually I can get us to the ship faster if you want." I say thinking of one of the perks of being the devil. "I suppose my feet are getting tired." Well I never was one to let a lady hurt herself. "Okay here I go." I add in a whisper. "I hope…" I grimace as I start to talk in devil tongue. "I summon a Demon Horse to further my cause." I am surprised there's such thing as a Demon Horse. A horse with black coat and eyes and a mane made of flame appears. "Hello master." It says. "Where dost thou wish to go master and lady Sienna?" It says. Still surprised Demon Horses exist I tell it to take us to the Justin. "So be it." It talks very grimly doesn't it? We hop on it. "Wait I don't know how to-URK!" I was going to say till the horse started off reaching the destination in ten seconds flat. "Kyle were ya gonna to say something?" Sienna asks. "Yeah, but too late now!" I say getting off. We bid Demon Horse farewell and get on board.
As we get on everyone looks in shock at us. "Is that really you lad?" Tavis asks astonished that I got out. "Yes it is we can talk when this mofo is on the water!" I yell. I love the ocean, and pirates this is a dream come true! I man the helm as everyone else gets to doing something. "Umm, sir what about me?" Sienna asks. "Well Mundy was to man the crow's nest so you can do that." I say. She nods and walks to the ladder. As she starts to climb I can think only one thing. 'Dat arse!' What I may be a nice person but I get urges to. 'I want to tap dat arse.' Okay maybe I'm a bit of a pervert. But it's a Really nice butt, I mean its firm and round and jiggles just right. "Captain your drooling a little." Wait really? I reach a hand to my mouth… I'll be damned I was. "Thanks." I say still looking at Sienna climbing. "Sir we are ready for our new life of crime, sir!" The Soldier says. "Thank you Jane." I say. "WELL GET THE ANCHOR UP AND WE'LL BE GOING!" I yell. They raise the anchor. I put my hands on the wheel ready for my new life as a pirate.