NO SMISSMASS CHAPTER. OKAY. In other news the doctor wanted in to the story so the three people who care enough to comment tell me if I should. By the way the ship has karaoke for the same reason the spy's watches still work…MAGIC.
Today it is the day we uphold the most sacred tradition we had since I got here… the bi-annual karaoke contest. Scout started off with a surprisingly good rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen with backup vocals provided by Heavy and Medic of all people. I am going next, singing Good Old Fashion Lover Boy also by Queen. Speaking of lovers I finally got together with Sienna. It took a while but we got to the point where it was obvious that we were into each other. And she walked into my room one night and ask me to be her boyfriend/lover/employer person thing… using those exact words I might add. On another note I have been recognized as a full-fledged deity by the organization.
The organization is a group of omnipotent deities from different worlds and timelines. Membership gives access to the armory, which is great for gods with the sole focus of making war. There is also the library; a collection of all books/scrolls/tablets from every world that has ever existed organized A-Z by planet names then author name. The world literature I'm working on right now is Er…Erque… something that sounds like that. I never was good at remembering boring things like names. In fact I only remember the deity's name because she stuck out in my mind; I call her Tia… moving on! They also give you a watch that almost never breaks, always will accurately tell time, and acts as a com-link. Actually the only people there to avoid are any gods from a Warhammer-esque place, everyone else is nice. Oh, it's nearly my turn wish me luck! I then hear a 'thunk' noise and pass out.
How the fuck did they knock me out! "Vell it zeemz you are avake." I hear an accented voice say. I open my eyes and say this. "Holy fuck, are you ugly!" The person that looks a lot like the good doctor looks offended. "You vould do well to hold your clever tongue, as I am the one who vill attend to you." He retorts. He cuffed me to my chair. He obviously hadn't known what I do to handcuffs. "You are here because you have smuggled several tons of illegal substances, killed various Blu officials…" I tune him out and unleash myself. I look to my right and see the rest of the team also awake glaring at the guy. I reattach the handcuffs to me and not the chair and ask at a break. "If I were to look for the kitchens were would it be?" He says to me. "At the end of ze hall." And continues doing what he was doing. I take the handcuffs off and set them down. Then I walk down the hall to the kitchen and grab the biggest crunchiest apple I could find. I go back and walk behind guy. I then imamate everything he does, to the humor of the team. Then I take a bite of the apple… loudly. The guy turns around and looks at me frightened. I summon a succubus and say to it. "Entertain our friend here if you would." She of course does just that. I uncuff everybody, and then we leave. "Luckily I already don't remember this." Of course Tavis says this. I nod my head because if I were to describe the process of a soul being stolen by succubus I would have to change the rating. "So, now what?" Sienna says. I did not think of that. I whisper. "Devil eyes." I look around for an exit and see one through the kitchen. "Over there, through the kitchen is a stair case." We walk in and see someone. It was my bow making coffee. "Why the fudge are you making coffee?" I ask quit angry that my bow was making coffee and not being helpful. "I thought you would like some sire." I can't argue with that and just take the coffee. "Well that's interesting…" The Engie says this. "What is?" I ask confused. He just points at the cup. I look at it; it says #1 tyrannical overlord. "At least he's honest." I hear someone I haven't heard since before I went to piracy. "Mundy… let's have dinner." I say, I knew what was going to happen afterwards might as well enjoy dinner one last time. Mundy agrees and we go to the dining room. I use my godly powers to give everyone formal attire, might as well abuse my powers for once. "Now Mundy order for us dinner and then I shall give you all good news and bad news." He orders a servant to get us dinner. The dinner is made up of pork items and to drink we have water. "Well bad news first. I am going to-." I start to say when my family walks in as well as this brown haired girl. "Oi I'm away for one year and my sister turns lesbian!" I already knew about this because it was a big thing for my sister to marry a woman. Her wife's called Emily. "Now then one of you will betray me and then I'll turn to stone until something REALLY big happens." I say in a rush so as to avoid being interrupted again. "Now then I'll use my godly powers to make you 9 immortal on earth but you will all die and be reborn at the time I come back. And you will be reborn near me and keep some of your memoires." I say. "Now eat of my body and drink of my jizz." I say and dig in. I everyone else eats as well.
After dinner I order everybody to stay in the kitchen to much complaint. I just go to the battlements and jump off the top. I walk to a cave in a forest in the mountains a few miles away to wait for the ambush. I change my form that of my evil side. It has had horns, a beard, and cloven hooves added to it. I sat and waited. Soon a small army of knights, several priests, and Ro arrived. "So Ro before you kill me, would you like to dance, without the suit?" I ask. Ro nods and waves the knights and priests off. I change the cave to a dance floor with a band playing The Devil's Dance Floor by Flogging Molly. I took Ro's suit while changing the cave. She was good looking, like could pass as a succubus good looking. "Well then are you ready for your last dance?" She asks sounding slightly sadly. I nod, and we dance like this is the going to end with a happy ending instead of my execution. As we finish the dance Ro breaks down. "Why won't you fight me after fighting for all the time I knew you!?" I chuckle and bring her face up to mine. "Now is not a time I will fight you because I already forgive you. Now, please, is there anything you would like me to do before you kill me?" I ask I got a heads up from God about this. He told me everything, including the fact she was in love with me. That one surprised me because I did not expect it. He also told Sienna because he's nice like that. We had plenty of time to work out if we were both okay with that, we were. We as a result decided that up to either of us having sex with her is okay… my girlfriend is awesome! "Can you kiss me?" she asks. I got to stop monologging for so long. I lean down and kiss her. "Yes, yes I can." I say. She smiles as she plunges my knives into my chest. I start turning to stone from that point and going outward. "I love you." She says as the stone goes to my face. I smile and make my final mark on the world. I put a plaque on my chest that reads 'No hard feelings.' on my chest and my world goes dark.