Chapter two
Jade stood on the Valentine's porch tugging a little bit at the skirt she was wearing. It was so cold outside. Why was she stupid enough to pick this out to wear? Maybe she was just more in love than she thought she was.
"Yay!" Cat yelled when she opened the door and saw what Jade was wearing. She threw her arms around Jade's neck and planted a kiss on her lips. "I've missed you."
"We saw each other at school today," Jade replied.
"But I still missed you," Cat said nuzzling her nose into Jade's neck. Something inside of Jade melted and she warmed up. Only Cat had that effect on her icy exterior. She took Cat's hand and led her to the car.
"Where do you want to go tonight?" she asked her girlfriend.
"Doesn't matter to me. I'm with you," Cat replied blushing at her own words. Jade was trying not to smile as she started the car and peeled out of the driveway.
"I was thinking maybe just grabbing something cheap and then going to see a show or something," Jade suggested.
"That would work." The two of them ended up eating at a small hole-in-the-wall Chinese place that had faded yellow dragons on the peeling wallpaper. It distracted Cat to a certain extent. Jade could observe her trying to count them. Jade would have been upset for her lack of conversation if it wasn't so cute.
"So, have you given any thought to what I said the other day?" Jade asked.
"Given to what now?" Cat said snapping back into reality.
"Ya know, about us moving in together this summer when we both go out to New York City?"
"Oh! That thing! Well, I have. I think it's a wonderful idea. However…"
"Shit, you really did think about it."
"I really don't think it's a good idea just to be all alone with each other like that."
"But, that's all I want."
"I know, babe. But think about it this way: if we're in a city where no one but us knows us then what will we do when something bad happens?" Jade wished that Cat were as smart as she looked sometimes. She really just wanted Cat to pick up and move away with her away from all the bad things that had plagued their relationship the last year and a half. Beck being passive aggressive about Jade breaking his heart. Robbie and Rex being rude about the image of Jade and Cat together. Other people Jade was attracted to…
"You have a point but what if it's for the best to just start fresh. We can make friends once we're there…"
"We have to find jobs first."
"Which we will! We're both talented…"
"Lots of talented people move out to New York for the same reason and don't do anything with their lives but wait on tables."
"Baby, I love you, but you're crushing me here." Cat smiled and took Jade's hand.
"Everything is going to work out the way that it's supposed to. Maybe we'll get a gig out here instead and that way we don't have to leave everything we know behind."
"Sometimes I wish you were as impulsive as I am," Jade said taking her hand back. Cat looked hurt.
"Please don't be sad," she pleaded. Jade knew exactly how to hit Cat where it hurt. Cat didn't like hurting other people's feelings more than anything else in the world. "Please…" Jade realized how terrible she was being and sighed.
"You're lucky you make me want to be a little better of a person," she told Cat taking her hand once more. "So…have you thought about that conversation we had the other night?"
"The one we had after…" Jade reached up and covered her mouth looking around.
"Jesus, you're loud."
"Not as loud as I was the other night…" Jade covered her mouth once more and put a finger to her lips.
"Anyways…" Cat sighed and stirred her drink sadly.
"I don't like sharing, Jade," she admitted.
"I'm not asking you to share me…well not yet…not exactly…"
"I respect you. You know that right? But you have to respect me too. I'm not polyamorous."
"I want this to work, Cat. I don't see how it could when I have all these feelings for other people bottled up and not able to express them. It's not like I'm actively hitting on people while you're at my side. When I'm with you, I am with you. I don't want to be with anyone else during our time. But then again, when I'm with another person I only want to be with them with it's our time."
"I understand. I'm not stupid…"
"I'm not saying you are…"
"Can we please drop this? It makes me really sad to think about you with anyone else besides me."
"Yeah. We can drop it." Jade slumped back in her seat. She loved Cat with all her heart. But sadly she knew that Cat wasn't going to be the end all be all of her romantic life. She just wished that Cat would give it a little bit of a chance.
"I love you," Cat quietly said over her menu. She was avoiding eye contact with Jade knowing that she hurt her.
"I love you too," Jade replied unable to look her in the eyes either.
"We're going to be okay," Cat said. It was half a question and half a statement.
"Yes, we will be okay."