A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Feel free to review so more, it makes me a happy camper...even though I don't camp much...or at all.
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone or anything.
Chapter 4
So really, how in the hell did this happen? How did he go from watching her, to talking to her, to kissing her? Not that he was complaining, but this was a dream right? He was in some coma somewhere, laying in a hospital bed and just dreaming, right? He had to be, this was too good to be reality. Now that he knew, he was going to wake up any second and find that she didn't know his name, didn't know who he was. He had to hold onto this dream, make it reality, he just had too. He had the taste of what it was like to be with Stephanie and he wanted more, he wanted it all, he already knew Stephanie and Izzie were it for him.
He reached for his cell to call Stephanie, he had to make sure this was real. It was next to him on his beside table and his hand reached for it and passed right through it. He frowned and tried again. It passed through it again. He took a shuddering breath, this was a dream. The book, the walk, the words, it was only real in this dream space. No, please no.
"Stephanie!" it was an anguished cry, and he shot up, oh God his heart hurt. He grabbed at his shirt and looked down to see if there was a hand slowly twisting his heart, but there wasn't. He was just dying. He had to see her, just one last time, he couldn't wake up and not have a chance to say goodbye.
He rushed to the door and reached for the handle, but like his cell earlier his hand passed through it and his forward momentum propelled him through the door of his hotel room. Whoa, that was trippy. He looked down at his body to see if he had fully come through it and he had. Wait, why was he fading? He brought a hand up and he could see through it. No! Don't wake up! I need to see Stephanie! Please don't wake up, please!
He was running, he was running so fast but nothing changed, his feet didn't hurt when the met the sidewalk, his thighs didn't ache because he didn't stop for a break, he wasn't going to get to her. He tripped and fell to his knees, his hands flying out in front of him to stop his decent and they should have scrapped across the ground and stones should have embedded in his hands, and left behind wounds and blood, but there was nothing. His hands were just an outline, and his arms were slowly disappearing too. He looked up into the road ahead of him, thinking of how he could get to Stephanie before he faded completely, but he saw the end of a corridor instead of an endless road. He was here! He could find her and kiss her one last time and pat Izzie's head and tell her to look after Stephanie.
He got up off of his knees and ran, and this time the scenery changed, doors and people passed him and they kept passing him longer than he would have liked, but then there she was and he skidded to a halt and smiled for the first time today. She was so beautiful.
"Stephanie!" he called out, but she kept walking. Didn't she hear him? He saw Izzie look back at him, and then turn back around and keep walking. "Stephanie, stop!"
But she didn't, so he started to run and he didn't move, but she was getting further and further away. Please, he begged. Please, just let me tell her I love her. He blinked and then he was standing in front of her. "Stephanie." He whispered and she lifted her head up.
"Can I help you?" she asked, and he wanted to hold her, but he was fading fast.
"It's Chris."
She smiled and his heart broke. He wanted to wake up to that smile every morning. She reached for him, but he backed away and he watched her frown. "I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"Last night, I was looking through the poems and I remember parts of one, one that I have to say."
"What one is it?"
"I Cannot Live With You."
"Chris?" he heard her question and he heard the uncertainty in her voice.
"I can't remember it all, but I'm probably mixing up words, but I remember:
I cannot live with you,
It would be life,
And life is over there
Behind the shelf
I could not die with you,
For one must wait
To shut the other's gaze down,—
You could not.
And were you saved,
And I condemned to be
Where you were not,
That self were hell to me.
So we must keep apart,
You here, I there,
With just the door ajar."
"You're leaving?"
"Not by choice." He was fading faster now, it wasn't enough time. "I love you."
His eyes snapped open and the cry left his mouth, "No!"
He was awake.
It was dark in his room and he felt stiff. He pushed against the bed he was on and sat up, bringing a hand up he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, his vision was blurry and when it cleared his room was still dark and the clock on his bedside table read 5:15 a.m. Wait, he knew this room, he'd rented this room Thursday morning when he'd flown to Connecticut. His cell lay next to the clock and he reached for it. His touch was solid. He flipped open his cell and dialed. It rang.
"Hello?" a voice answered a minute or two later and he fell back against the bed with a laugh. "Chris?"
"Stephanie."
"Yes," she replied with a giggle and he heard the electronic voice from her clock tell her the time. "What can I do for you?"
"I just had to hear your voice."
"So early I the morning?" her voice teased and he could picture the smile on her face.
"I had the worst dream," he told her with a heavy sigh. "Nightmare actually."
"Do you need a hug?"
He smiled and laughed. "No, just you."
"What was it about?" her voice was soft and if he closed his eyes he could almost picture her next to him.
"You never spoke to me, and we never went out last night. I didn't get to kiss you." He told her shuddering at the memory. "I was fading and I was running and I got to you, but before I could hold you one last time, I faded completely. I don't ever want to fade with you."
"Sounds scary."
"It was."
"It was a dream," she told him. "You're seeing me tonight."
"I am." He agreed with a smile. "I'm sorry I called you so late."
"Early." She corrected with a grin. "And don't be, I like talking to you. "
"Well, isn't that a coincidence?" he mused. "See, I like talking to you too."
"Is the sun up yet?"
"The light is just coming through." Chris told her.
"Can you tell me what it's like?" Stephanie asked.
"Sure," he told her with a smile, getting out of his bed and walking over to the window. He pulled the curtains back and imagined Stephanie next to him. "It's cloudy still, I think it might rain today, the clouds are so grey. You can't see much of the sun, I think its hiding because it's still tired. There's a few gaps in the clouds though and the sun is shining through them, I think later it might get brighter, but I think today is going to be dull. There are colors though Steph, the sun's rays are hitting tree leafs it's like they're shimmering. You can hear the birds waking and chirping, they'll be flying soon."
"It sounds nice."
"Is it what you remember?"
"No," she breathed out. "It's better."
"Why?"
"Because I'm sharing it with you."
He was glad this wasn't a dream, he doesn't know how he could live without waking up to mornings like this.