Chapter 6

My first thought was one of utter disbelief; Alec Volturi had not kissed me. My second thought was simple; run. I back away from Alec slightly not meeting his eyes. He watched me, assessing my reaction.

"Bella," He said, gently taking my hand. "I know you're upset about Cullen but I would be so much better for you." I gulped at the mention of Edward; Alec didn't know him like I did. He was kind and gentle, he cared for more than anyone else did and even if he was controlling sometimes I didn't mind because I knew he loved me. Or at least I'd thought he had loved me. Edward had left me and coming here had been my escape, I was meant to be moving on. I was meant to be accepting that I didn't deserve the most amazing man in the world.

I cringed as I felt the familiar jolts of pain rush through me, it wasn't as bad as before though. It was as if I had been numbed, as if time was going slower; giving me a chance to finally look at what I'd turned my life into. I had lost Edward because I wasn't good enough, I'd hurt Charlie, leaving him to think I was dead, I'd lost the person who was meant to be my best friend; Alice. In exchange for all of that I had wanted to get a new life, to be a new person, a person who wasn't held back by being quiet or pain but it hadn't turned out that way. I'd only gained one good thing and that was Felix, a feeling somewhere deep inside me told me I was lying to myself, I'd won something else too; I just couldn't see it yet.

I opened my eyes, not realising I had closed them. I wasn't in Alec's room anymore. I didn't know where I was, I glanced around and sighed when I realised I was in what was meant to be my room now. I sighed, sitting up to realise Caius was lying next to me, I let out a little shriek shuffling away from him. A smile spread across his face, something about his smile scared me.

"You really are amazing Isabella." Caius commented, "You have somehow manage to make a vampire have human traits, I don't think I've ever heard of a vampire who passed out before." I nodded in response, trying to remember what had happened. Suddenly all the events of the last few days came flooding back to me and my eyes widened, Alec had kissed me and I had passed out.

I felt a hand place itself on top of my leg and I widened my eyes at Caius, brushing away his hand. I looked down at myself; I wasn't in the same clothes. Someone had undressed and redressed me. "Who dressed me?" I asked, praying it wasn't him but not setting myself up to be disappointed if it had been.

"Alec." Caius answered, annoyance rang in his voice and his eyes darkened slightly. I didn't know whether to take this as a good thing or a bad thing. Caius hadn't touched me which made me feel a lot better but I didn't know how to feel about Alec seeing me naked.

"Why?" I asked, moving off the bed. The further away from Caius I got the safer I felt.
"Felix threw a glass of water over you." Caius said, practically growling now. "He thought it would wake you up." I bit my lip trying not to laugh at his reaction.

"Where are Felix and Alec?" I asked, hoping I could excuse myself to go talk to them.

"Waiting to feed, everyone is waiting to feed." Caius stated, standing up and walking over to me. He took my hand. "Allow me to walk you to the throne room and you shall finally have your first meal. I am surprised you have not been as thirsty as any other newborn." He commented. I nodded, remembering what he had said before about how he could make bad things happen here and knew he was right.

Something else now worried me though; they would expect me to kill a human. They wanted me to feed on humans, I hadn't thought my plan through, all I had wanted was the pain to stop and I would have given up anything for that.

When I finally pulled myself away from my worried thoughts I realised I was standing in front of the doors to the throne room. I pulled my hand back, away from Caius. "Thank you." I said, politely walking into the throne room and moving to stand next to Felix who had a smug look on his face. "I will so kill you later." I muttered, barely loud enough for Felix to hear.

Caius moved toward Aro, he touched his hand for a second before moving back to his throne and sitting down. Aro's glaze turned toward me for a couple of seconds and the look on his face told me he knew something I didn't.

I suddenly became aware of the sweetest aroma, I had ever smelt. My throat burned with a brand new thirst and a powerful longing that I'd never felt before. "What is that?" I whispered to Felix, a hand resting at the base of my neck. Felix looked down at me with black eyes.

"Human blood." He answered me, before looking back to the door as Heidi led a group of at least thirty humans inside, I bit my lip. They smelt so good, I craved their blood, I ached for their blood. I not only wanted it but I need it but it was wrong. They were innocent people, not food.

Heidi fastened the doors behind them as the three kings stepped forward, they walked toward the crowd who were buzzing with excitement as if they were about to witness the best show in the world. They were about to witness something but it wouldn't be a spectacular show; it would thirty tragic, painful deaths.

By the time I had blinked, taking in what was about to happen, the kings and most of the guard held a human in their arms, sucking them dry. The faces of their victims paled to a ghostly pale white and the few drops of blood that trailed down their necks looked a bright crimson red in comparison.

Felix placed a hand on my back, pushing me forward slightly, I could tell my eyes were black with thirst, my throat was on fire and I had tensed, forcing myself to watch the horrific deaths of the people in front of me instead of causing them myself. The screams echoed around the room as the last few humans made a pathetic attempt at escape. If I could have cried, I would have. All they wanted to do was live and I had given up my life without a second thought.

"Feed, Bella." Felix told me, everyone was watching me now as I continued to stand tensed and frozen to my spot. My whole body was aching to feed, to drain every last drop of life from the last remaining human, who had fallen to her knees in the middle of the room. I looked up to Felix then noticing a small red stain around his mouth from his feeding.

"I can't do it." I told him. "I'm not like that, she's innocent and she doesn't deserve this." I heard an annoyed growl then, as Jane, Alec's sister, walked over to the girl who was crumpled in the middle of the room. Jane flashed me a dazzling smiled before snapping the girl's neck ending the girl's body shaking sobs and her life.

My mouth hung open at what I had just witnessed; I could have done something to save her. I should have done something to save her. Jane lifted up the girl's body and walked over to me, I snatched the body from her arms. I was aware that every vampire in the room was watching me, including the kings.

"Now drink already." Jane hissed, walking back over to her spot in the shadows of the room. I looked down at the girl in my arms, she was dead, her pale green eyes wide with shock but they were dead, they held no depth. Some say the eyes are a direct window to the soul and looking into this girl's eyes, I could tell there wasn't one last breath of life in her.

Felix gently moved her neck to one side, "You need to feed, Bella." I shook my head, no, I wouldn't. "She's already dead, Bella. Feed." I sighed, Felix was right, even if I didn't want him to be. I needed to feed and she was dead, she wouldn't feel anything now. I moved my mouth to her neck biting down quickly and a liquid flooded my mouth. It was a taste that could not be equalled by anything else on this earth; it was untainted and perfect.

I pulled back as I drank her dry, a blissful sigh forming on my lips. Then I remembered everyone was watching me and what I had just done. I had just drunk the blood of an innocent and if it was possible for me to, I knew I would have thrown up.

Author's note: Hey sorry I didn't update over Christmas and New year but I will be trying to update regularly again. I liked to know what you think, happy new year xx

Guilt is anger directed at ourselves-at what we did or did not do.

Peter McWilliams,