Chapter 6

Ibiki couldn't help but be relieved when Anko woke up several hours later, a few minutes after four in the morning. He shifted with a grunt, pulling his arm free from under Anko.

Anko stirred. "What's that sound for? Are you okay?"

Ibiki sat up against the headboard and rubbed his bicep. "My arm's numb."

"Huh, why?" Anko said sleepily.

"You slept on it," Ibiki said. His lips quirked in a smile.

"What?" Anko smacked his shoulder lightly. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"How could I have the heart to wake you when you were sleeping so peacefully?" Ibiki protested. "It made you happy."

Anko wound her arms around him and pulled him to her chest, hugging him back down to the bed with her. "Oh, Biki…I'm going to take good care of you."

Ibiki was confused by that response, but he wasn't going to argue. "Sounds good to me. When can you start?"

"Right now." Anko covered his face with kisses, acting with methodical thoroughness.

Ibiki closed his eyes. It felt nice. He'd never felt anything like this before; the warmth and softness of Anko's lips pressing against his cheek, his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his chin.

He shifted to lie on his back, and Anko lay on top of him, snuggling.

"If I make you uncomfortable you need to say so, sweetie," Anko said. "That's lesson number one."

"Oh…kay." Ibiki nodded the best he could from this position. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good." Anko kissed his lips gently.

Then she kissed his lips again, and he felt fire ignite in his stomach, burning all the way down. He'd masturbated few and far between, but he knew the feeling.

Being a hulking mass of scar tissue charged with his nation's security was usually enough to turn him off in any situation, from a combination of pragmatism and stress. The stress by itself was enough to kill anyone's sex life. He knew that people either turned outward – comfort seeking – or they turned inward – isolation seeking. He'd always been a 'turn inward' kind of guy. That had been one reason why it was so hard for Anko to catch his attention.

Now that she'd caught his attention, he was feeling things he wasn't accustomed to having to deal with. Especially not in someone else's presence. What it boiled down to was…he was shy.

He understood everyone's philosophy of 'knowing when the right moment was', and this definitely seemed applicable. Both of them were comfortable, both in bed and with each other. Anko was on top of him. They were both probably feeling pretty warm. Warm enough to spark.

But he wasn't ready. Or, more accurately, he didn't know if he was or not. And he was terrified of making a mistake. Not that he didn't think Anko would stay in permanent relationship with him. He was pretty sure that she would. What he was afraid of messing up was the sex part.

Anko trailed a hand down his chest, beside where her head rested. "Biki…whatcha thinking?"

"I'm thinking how I don't want to hurt you," Ibiki said. He looked up at the ceiling.

She snuggled against him. He knew that she could feel his hard-on from her position, and she didn't seem to care. "You're not going to hurt me, Biki-chan."

"Says you," he retorted mildly.

Anko grinned and stretched out over him, kissing the spot underneath his jaw that she must have noticed from before.

He closed his eyes, a wave of tingling heat washing through him. For a few moments he couldn't speak. His lips parted, and a low moan emerged. "I…"

"I've done it before," Anko said helpfully. "From this position it should be a cinch."

Ibiki didn't know whether to laugh or to run. "I see." His ears burned. "That information is good to know."

Anko kissed his cheek. "I thought would be good to know."

"Yes." Ibiki wondered what else he could say. His thoughts were too scattered by the sensations coursing through his body. He didn't know if he wanted to do it now or not.

"Biki-chan, you're not ready," Anko said fondly. She nuzzled his neck. "Don't worry about it. You're cute enough to wait for."

"But – I –" Ibiki wished this weren't one of the times that she could out-think him.

Anko giggled. "I'm right, aren't I? You're not ready."

"Yes, but, I –"

"You're supposed to say things like this." Anko poked his shoulder lightly.

Ibiki flushed. "I'm not uncomfortable. I'm just – I'm –"

Anko shifted against him. "Aroused by the sexiness that is me, but unable to handle going any further." She grinned and kissed the tip of his nose, then rolled off of him.

Ibiki's heart thudded in his chest, and he immediately missed the warmth and the pressure on his half-hard erection. But he rolled over away from her, hiding his physical reactions from her.

She spooned up against his back, resting her cheek against the space between his shoulder blades. "Biki, why are you hiding?"

"Because if I don't, I'm afraid that you're going to make me orgasm in my pants."

"Sweetie." Anko squeezed his waist. "That doesn't mean you have to withdraw from me. I'll stop."

Ibiki took a deep breath, his eyes burning a little. "I'm not – I'm not ready. You're right. I don't have any business being here, doing this."

"This is your apartment," Anko said.

Ibiki sighed.

Anko stroked his back.

He tried to resist for a moment, before he caught himself. What am I trying to run away for? She's right. I don't have to hide. Pain burst forth. He abruptly rolled over and hid his face against her shoulder, holding her tightly. "I'm scared. I'm scared that you won't like my body anymore if you see me."

"Biki…" Anko stroked his back.

"It works well enough for me as a ninja," Ibiki said. "I'm not saying that. But my body…it's nothing anybody should be required to touch." He hated this insecurity, deeply hated it, but he was frightened, and mortified, and it was hard to think when all he wanted was for her to not leave.

Anko kissed the top of his head.

Ibiki flinched, belatedly aware that he was bare-headed.

She hugged him tightly, not missing the flinch. "I will touch every part of you, and every part of you will receive equal love. I am not repulsed by any part of you. I've seen much, much worse, and none of it belonged to someone as sweet as you. I think I'm more than capable of handling you." She planted kisses on his scarred head and rubbed his back.

Ibiki let go of his tension, breathing shakily. "I was so used to…" He paused. But he'd admitted so much else to her. "When people look at my body…I don't like medical check-ups." He muttered against her shoulder, "They don't see me. They see my injuries. And it's hard to be objectified that way."

He trailed off for a few long moments. Then he mentally shook himself and forced himself to keep going. "But I don't have any choice but to go. You know there are no exceptions to physical assessments every six months. I'd be suspended if I didn't go, and my job is everything to me. So I have to let them…touch. Inspect. And I…" He couldn't go any further. Talking about it was too difficult.

"You're afraid I'll look at you like they do," Anko said softly. "Like the medical ninjas. You don't want to see that look in my eyes."

Ibiki nodded. "Yeah."

"That's why you won't let me look at your hands," Anko said.

Ibiki paused. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Yeah."

Anko kissed the top of his head. "It's understandable. You'd never be able to trust me again if I did that to you. If I got lost in your injuries instead of seeing you, that would really hurt you. You don't want to risk that."

He was reminded of what it meant to be dating another interrogator.

"If we have to, we'll blindfold me when you want to have sex," Anko said. "If it makes you comfortable, we'll do it that way." She trailed a hand over his back, stroking.

Ibiki was bewildered. He shifted, pulling back so that he could examine her face in the dim light. "You'd what? Are you sure that wouldn't just be making you uncomfortable instead?"

Anko grinned. "I've thought about doing things kinkier. A little blindfolding isn't going to bother me."

Ibiki flushed. "What was I thinking?" he teased. "Of course it's no big deal."

Anko laughed. "Exactly." She touched their noses together, and everything was okay again. She snuggled up against his chest and settled down.

Ibiki was more than happy to let her fall asleep against him in this much more comfortable position, even knowing they had to get up in a few hours. He didn't want this special, private world they were building for themselves to disappear. He was going to hang onto every moment as long as possible.

He tucked his head against hers and fell asleep.

xXx

Work was work.

He was glad that Anko popped in and out of his office to brighten his day, and that he had something to look forward to after work besides a headache and a frozen dinner. He was beginning to wonder how he had coped with such emptiness.

But he simply hadn't felt as though he was entitled to anything more than that. Not until Anko had started making him do something with himself. He'd been a machine, performing maintenance on himself for the sake of the village, knowing he would be hard to replace if he broke. He'd viewed that as his purpose in life: filling this role that no one else seemed to want. Someone had to be the garbage man, or the butcher, or the head of Torture and Interrogation. If he didn't perform this role, Konoha wouldn't run.

As true as that was, he was glad to live for himself now. Himself and Anko.

Anko chose that moment to sidle into his office. "Hiya, Biki."

"Did you sneeze on the way over here?" Ibiki teased.

Anko looked confused. "No, why?"

Ibiki grinned. "Because I was thinking about you."

Anko giggled. "Aww. I was thinking about you, too." She grinned and raised her eyebrows. "Religiously."

"I should have been sneezing my head off," Ibiki said in mock surprise. "I guess it is just a wives tale."

Anko wagged an index finger. "Or, we're just lucky that we don't have allergies."

"You could look at it that way," Ibiki said agreeably.

Anko beamed. "So what's up?"

Ibiki glanced at the half finished stack of paperwork on his desk. "Nothing much. Just the usual. Tonbo's doing better, by the way. Sleep really improves his sentence structure. I don't have to read run-on sentences with too many clauses and passive language anymore. Good tip."

"No problem." Anko glowed.

"Where do you want to go for our third date?" Ibiki asked. "It's your turn to pick."

"It's our fourth date," Anko said.

Ibiki made a face. "Really? I don't count what happened last night as a date."

"No, I'm counting it," Anko protested.

"Why?" Ibiki asked.

"Because!"

"You just want to get into my pants as soon as possible," Ibiki said.

"Nuh-uh!" Anko paused. "Well, yeah, but also, I thought it was a great third date. I wanna count it for that, not just so I can fill out my score card."

Ibiki choked. "Score card?"

Anko raised her hands. "Figurative. It's figurative."

Ibiki marginally relaxed.

"And I want to go to the movies again," Anko said, finally answering his question.

"But it's too soon for anything new," Ibiki said.

"I know," Anko said. She hopped up on his desk, sitting on it. "I want to see that kung fu film again. That was cool!" She threw a punch and made a fake sound effect noise.

Ibiki was bemused. "Okay. I don't have any problems with that. What do you want for dinner?"

"Sushi!" Anko grinned. "I want a change of pace."

"Ah…" Ibiki wondered where they would go. It was about time they ate somewhere else for a date, but he didn't know any sushi places. "As long as you know where to go. I sure as hell don't."

"Don't worry," Anko said. "I've got a place all picked out. You'll like it there."

"I like everywhere I am when I'm with you," Ibiki said honestly.

Anko clasped her hands to her chest. "Squee! Romantic…"

Ibiki had to laugh at the fact that she had exclaimed 'squee' instead of actually making the noise.

Anko swung her legs over his desk and neatly plopped herself onto his lap, snuggling up against him. She knocked over his stack of paperwork and the black plastic tray labeled 'Outbox' in the process, sending copies of reports meant for the Hokage's office flying. The tray clattered to the hard cement floor upside down.

Ibiki couldn't bring himself to care.

Anko kissed him on the cheek, and he returned with a kiss to her lips, almost smiling too much to make it work. He wrapped his arms around her waist and gently squeezed. "Thank you for making work more interesting," he said softly.

Anko rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you." She let out a contented sigh.

"I love you, too." Ibiki smirked. "Now, are you going to pick up my tray and put my desk to rights?"

"Nuh-uh."

Ibiki laughed again. "Then I'll just have to punish you."

"Gasp," Anko said. She gave him a wide-eyed look. "How are you going to punish me? Are you going to give me spanking? I could brace myself against the desk right here. Got something we can use for a paddle in your desk? How about a clipboard?"

Ibiki flushed bright red. The fact that his body was responding to that suggestion only made it worse. Especially since Anko was sitting in his lap and could undoubtedly feel his half-formed erection. "I am not going to give you an erotic spanking in my office." God, I can't believe I have to say that.

"Awww." Anko crawled off his lap and picked everything up, straightening up his desk. She looked at him with a repentant pout. "Is that better, Biki-chan?"

"Yes," Ibiki mumbled.

Anko twisted a lock of hair around her finger and smiled hopefully. "Now will you give me a spanking?"

Ibiki opened his mouth, and then shut it again.

"Oh, poor Biki." Anko took pity on him. She crossed over to him and kissed his cheek. "I'll stop."

Ibiki averted his eyes. He wasn't sure he could look at her without feeling embarrassed. "I know you're just joking. I –"

"I'm not joking," Anko said matter-of-factly.

Ibiki stared at her.

Anko tilted her head. "You're into that. And I'm curious about what it's like. It's not like I haven't fantasized about it. So we'll try it sometime."

Ibiki looked away shiftily and barely managed to nod. As soon as he could unstick his jaw, he managed to say, "But not here."

Anko giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. "Sweet Biki. Of course we won't. You'd hate the unprofessionalism. This office space is for work."

Ibiki let out his breath, relieved that she understood.

Anko gave him one last squeeze and let go, straightening. "So I'll get back to work." She turned towards the door and took a couple steps, then glanced at him with a seductive smile. "And remember: sushi and a movie."

Ibiki nodded. "Yes."

"Ja ne." Anko slipped out, closing the door behind her.

Ibiki stared down at his paperwork blankly and then held his head in his hands. I can't believe she – is she really going to – I shouldn't be thinking about this.

One thing Anko couldn't pick up for him was his scattered wits.

xXx

The rest of the day went surprisingly fast. Ibiki did a double take at the clock when he realized it was time to go. Anko will be tempted to come get me. He hurried up and put all the classified documents away for the day.

Then he hurried to the station where they clocked in and out. Anko was waiting for him there.

"We have to stop by my apartment," Anko said. She seemed the slightest bit antsy and nervous at the declaration.

"Oh? Why?" Ibiki raised an eyebrow.

"I just need to grab some things." Anko grinned. "You know, like toiletries and stuff. You want me to start sleeping over at your place, don't you, Biki?"
Ibiki nodded slowly. He had, in fact, been thinking about that, but he didn't know how she knew. He hadn't mentioned it to her.

"Then I need to grab some clothes and stuff."

"Sounds fine to me," Ibiki said.

They rode the elevator up together, went through the usual security checkpoints, and hit the street.

"You know, I don't actually know where you live," Ibiki commented.

Anko shot him another nervous smile. "It changes every three months. That's the longest I can get an apartment owner to stick with me."

Ibiki was surprised.

"It's not like I'm hard on the building or anything," Anko said quickly. "It's just that –" She shrugged.

Ibiki felt terrible for her. She didn't have to finish her sentence. It was her reputation. He, by contrast, was largely left alone, because he'd had the apartment where he lived since before his accident. Everyone knew him there, and they were used to him. They'd hardly reacted at all to his ever-growing collection of scars. He didn't bother them, and they didn't bother him. It helped that his apartment was part of the old shinobi housing built after the Third World War, and it hadn't been damaged in any of the upheavals that had shaken Konoha since then.

xXx

Anko's apartment building was bright white, one of the buildings constructed after Sand's failed invasion. It had only been around for about nine months. Anko used a security card to get into the building, and ushered him up to the second floor, using a back staircase instead of the elevator. She scurried down the hall, glancing at one of the other doors – number eight, Ibiki noticed automatically – and pulled out her keys when she reached a bleached white door that had the brass number '14' screwed onto it.

The key was still new enough to stick slightly in the lock. Anko struggled for a moment, then managed to twist the key. The door unlocked with a reluctant rasp of tumblers.

"Come in," Anko said, waving him inside and then ducking into the kitchen. "Make yourself at home, Biki. It's fine. I promise."

Her apartment was very much unlike her. Peering around, Ibiki could see the bright whiteness of the kitchen counters and the off-white of the appliances, the white and gray linoleum floor, the sparseness. The kitchen was lit by florescent lights, and the small dining area by an electric chandelier. The only thing of color in the kitchen was a houseplant with variegated leaves, sitting in a terra cotta pot. It seemed an odd touch. Also, the edges of all the leaves were brown.

Ibiki poked at the houseplant sitting on her kitchen counter. "Um, Anko, your plant is dying."

Anko grimaced. "I know. It's going downhill fast. They all do that." She looked at the plant sadly. "They keep giving them to me – they think it'll teach me to be more nurturing." She shrugged guiltily. "I'm just not into plants like that. Or pets."

Ibiki blinked. "I think you're nurturing. Not having an interest in plants or pets doesn't mean you're not nurturing. It means you're not interested."

Anko gave him a grateful smile. "I had a cat, but it ran away after two weeks. I guess he didn't like this place about as much as I don't."

Ibiki slipped his hands into his pockets. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I couldn't take care of a pet."

She crossed the space between them in a single quickstep and kissed him. "I'll be right back."

Ibiki smiled.

Anko disappeared into the bedroom and came back out a few minutes later with a duffel bag packed. "Okay. We're ready to go. I've got all I need, Biki."

Ibiki could tell from her demeanor and the sterile quality of the apartment that Anko was speaking literally, not figuratively. There was very little else in this apartment to take. Anko clearly didn't like living in it.

He voiced his thoughts when they were walking down the street, away from the apartment building. "You don't have much use for that place, do you?"

"I like your place, Biki," Anko said. She smiled fondly. "It smells like you all over."

"Smells like me?" Ibiki flushed slightly. He couldn't imagine what she meant. Or if that was a good thing.

"Mm-hmm." Anko nodded. "I like smells, and I like your smell." She leaned over and inhaled slightly, and her smile grew. "Like brown sugar and cinnamon and…mm. Something savory." She thought for a moment. "Chicken broth."

Now he knew he was blushing. "Brown sugar and cinnamon and chicken broth?"

"It's faint but it's there," Anko said, nodding. "Sweet and savory. That's how I like it."

Ibiki didn't think he could have anything to say to that. "Ah."

"It's nicer there, too, because of your furniture," Anko said. "It's all lived in. Soft edges and soft lights and sagging sofas." She made a face. "My place smells like plastic and all the furniture is stiff."

Ibiki slipped an arm around her protectively, an instinctive gesture against the pain and loneliness that underscored her observations. "Well, you are welcome at my place. I want you there."

She snuggled against him, tucking his open coat around her.

Ibiki liked the intimacy of that, of her nestling against his chest in the warmth of his coat as they walked, feeling her unusually close.

They stopped by his apartment so he could take his evening medication and she could drop off her duffel bag in his bedroom. First she dumped it in the middle of the floor, but when he almost tripped over it she moved it to the side of the bed.