There's something about me that means I desperately need my characters to argue all the time. Also. SO MANY ISSUES. And, mm, sorry about the cockblock. :)

TV*JW TV*JW TV*JW

Being in an alpha pack was great... and yet it was also pretty awkward. They didn't really have boundaries. And Tori was cool with being an alpha, but she didn't want to be anywhere in the room when there was a knot measuring contest going on. One was just starting up, and she snuck out to lurk in the kitchen of Doug's house and miss the exhibitionism.

"You know some guys are just obsessed with knotting," said Pete, one of her new alpha buds. "But they don't get it. You get it, I'm sure. You couldn't not, with that girl you call your mate."

Tori (Tor, in the pack, or sometimes Vic, if the alphas were being particularly lighthearted. They disapproved of more than one syllable names.) forced a smile, her eyebrows slightly tweaked in confusion. "Uh, get what?"

"Tits."

Tori froze. "Uh, um. What about them?"

"That they're fucking amazing!" Pete seemed rather astonishingly thrilled by the concept.

"They are?"

Pete's jaw dropped. "You mean you don't- you haven't..." He gave a pitiful sigh. "Yours aren't quite enough to get the real experience, but your girl - now she's got a set on her, and you haven't felt it up?"

Tori knew she should probably have blushed herself out by now, but apparently there was no helping it. "We haven't... I mean, we're just getting to-."

Pete grinned. "You're in for a treat. Man, they're just so soft, and they feel so good. And if you play it right you can make her scream."

Tori swallowed. "I, uh, it sounds good." It sounded a little too good. Tori squeezed her thighs together and breathed through her nose. Damn it. Why did alphas have to talk about sex so much? Apparently there was an art to making omegas hot between heats, which Tori always paid attention to and wished she didn't. There was also an art to knotting betas that didn't make them cry and kick you out of bed forever. Tori tried to avoid instruction in that particular art, but she had managed to hear the basics enough time that she doubted she'd ever forget them. (1. Take it slow; 2. Fingers first; 3. Lots of lube; 4. Don't let them get bored!)

But it didn't matter what they were talking about, hanging out with alphas always meant talking about sex. And talking about sex meant thinking about Jade. And thinking about Jade meant trying not to double over at the tightness in her gut.

It also made her feel like a perv when they were together.

Because Jade really clearly wasn't having these problems, or if she was she was a lot better at not showing it. And she was being all weirdly formal and old fashioned about things. At the first chance she got she moved into the Valentines', and then she wouldn't just come over and hang out. She expected dates.

Tori complained about this to her mother who just raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you just want to be friends? Or are you actually making an effort here?"

Tori tried not to jump up and down in annoyance. What was the difference between having a friend that you really, really wanted to make out with all the time and being in a relationship? No one had satisfactorily explained this to her, and when her dad tried it seemed pretty obvious that it boiled down to someone being the dude and paying for things. Since Jade didn't have any money anymore, of course Tori was going to pay for things, but whenever she did it was obvious that Jade hated it, and whenever she acted like the dude, Jade hated it. Essentially, dating just wasn't working out.

But it had to work out.

And then Tori figured out that she was being stupid. She got a hundred dollars from her mother - who grinned widely in approval when she heard the idea - and stuffed it in an envelope. On the front she wrote, "Take your girl out, on me, okay? She expects flowers and for you to look super hot." Then she stuffed the envelope into Jade's locker.

"What the hell is this, Vega!" Jade smacked her in the face with the envelope.

"It's your turn!" Tori snapped back. "You're sick of being the omega all the time, and I'm sick of it too! I like being an alpha but it would be nice if someone noticed I was a girl also!"

Jade looked shocked, and Tori took the opportunity for a diva storm out. During Sikowitz's class she got the text she had been waiting for. || Friday at 7? || Tori grinned and glanced over at Jade, slouched in her chair in the back of the room, and gave her a happy thumbs up.

|| Dork. || But she also got a slight flick of her kitty-cat smile.

Trina tried to advise her on what to wear and Tori very carefully rejected everything she approved of. She ended up in a short black dress, because Jade liked black, and because Trina wrinkled her nose at it like it repelled her utterly.

She wasn't quite finished dressing when the doorbell rang and she nearly fell down the steps, trying to get her second shoe on as she went.

Jade stood outside, looking bored and checking her watch... in a fedora, a vest over an open white shirt and pinstriped trousers... and she shoved a purple dahlia in her general direction. "You ready yet?"

Tori just gaped, unable to find words. "You..."

Jade made a snapping motion with her hand. "Speak."

Tori laughed, taking the flower. "You're the worst boyfriend ever. Be less of a jerk."

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Too much of a jerk for you to date?"

Tori shrugged. "You're hot enough to make up for it."

Jade let her eyes drag all the way up Tori's body from foot to head. "You'll do, Legs."

Tori shoved her arm goodnaturedly and then hooked their elbows together. "Jerkoff."

Jade gave her an eyebrow raise and half a grin that was almost like a 'thank you.'

Tori felt a little bit like one of those girls who would protest and protest that their boyfriend was the sweetest guy around even when everyone else knew he was a jerk and told her that she could do better. But she couldn't help being stupid and giddy about the whole thing. It was Jade, looking amazing, and looking at her, like she knew that Tori was hers and was glad of it. She didn't expect Jade to say nice things, but she did nice things, like getting the door for her and pulling out her chair, though she did it all with a lackadaisical disinterest, as if it was obvious something she should do. Tori watched her critically. It didn't feel quite like she was playing a role, or, if she was, she was taking it very seriously.

"Do you like this?"

Jade raised an eyebrow. "It's better that time you tried to take me to get pizza."

"I like pizza!" Tori protested.

Jade gave her a look, then waved down the waiter. "I'm ordering for you."

"Seriously?"

Apparently she was serious. Tori wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel about that. It was kind of offensive, and it was kind of nice - a little risky, since Tori didn't know half the words that Jade was using to order - but exciting too.

Jade's eyes flicked to her when the waiter went. "You look... fine with this."

Tori rested her chin on her hand. "I am. I like trying new things. I trust you."

"You trust me? I gave you garbage coffee."

It had been pretty good coffee. "I guess... I'd drink garbage coffee again. If you gave it to me."

The look that crossed Jade's face was unreadable. "I guess," she said slowly, "that I don't trust you."

That hurt. Tori looked away. Why was this so hard?

"But tonight you've made it so I don't have to. You gave it up - gave up the control. And maybe that makes me trust you a little more."

Tori cocked her head and offered a slight smile. That wasn't what she had expected from this, but it sounded like a good result. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but Jade in a fedora saying she maybe trusted her a little was a start.

It was more than she had gotten on all the other dates.

"Look," Jade said. "I'm not good with blind trust. I like boundaries. If I don't have boundaries, I push until something pops up. So I will do more and more outrageous things to find out where they are. You didn't mind me ordering for you - and I would have pitched a fit. So what would make you angry? If you tell me the boundary, I don't have to go looking for it. Because I know looking for it will piss you off."

Now that was useful information. Tori chewed on her lip, considering it. "I'm not really sure. I mean, I wouldn't like it to become a habit - you picking things for me, or making me do only what you want me to do."

"I hate it when you sit like that. Don't slouch over the table. Sit up straight."

Tori flinched back. "That! Don't do that! You aren't my parent."

Jade grinned. "Well, there's one boundary."

Tori breathed out again. Okay, yeah. It was better to state the boundaries right out or she was going to cut someone on accident. "I don't- I don't like it when you disapprove of me, like I'm not good enough. If you really don't like something, I want you to tell me. And I don't care if you don't like my clothes or my dancing - I mean, I care but I have enough confidence in some things to go with what I like. I don't need to please you all the time."

"I hated your bird scene."

"I thought it was awesome."

Jade laughed a little, nodding. "You trained a bird. It was hilarious."

"You have no idea how much work that took!"

And suddenly Jade's expression changed again. "It took the right amount of work," she said. "You took the assignment seriously, if not... originally."

Tori swallowed. This was way too intense a conversation, but conversations with Jade were always intense. Intense and... intimate, in a weird way. "I like the way you throw yourself into the assignments. Even if they're the most stupid things, you're deadly serious, and never... self conscious."

Jade watched her, frowning slightly. "How serious are you about this life?"

"What?" Tori frowned. What life?

"About performing. Are you really serious about wanting to make a living in the arts? You're not going to like, decide to be a doctor or something idiotic like that, right?"

"What? I..." Tori hadn't really thought about this. "I don't know. I mean, I like it. I really like it." It gave her a high that probably should be illegal. "I'd like to do it if I can."

"I'm going to drag you down. You're not going to be a popstar as a female alpha with an omega mate."

"Says who?" Tori shot back. "I can do whatever I want to do."

"You really believe that? You're deluded, Vega."

"I can try." Tori took a breath. She was probably right. "It doesn't matter. I don't need to make it big to be happy."

"Of course it matters!" Jade's voice was harsh and rough. "You don't think I would do whatever I could to succeed if I had the opportunity?"

"You do have the opportunity," Tori said. This wasn't about her at all, was it? "And do whatever you could? What does that mean?"

Jade froze. Then she narrowed her eyes. "You wondering if it means casting couch? Would it piss you off?"

"I might kill someone." Tori said, then looked down at her cute dress and was like seriously?

Jade leaned back and laughed. "Maybe I'd like to see that."

"Uh, no, you wouldn't. Dad said that if I had hit Gavin anywhere else with the lamp or any harder I might have cracked his skull. There could have been brains everywhere."

Jade pressed her lips together. "I wouldn't have minded."

She remembered more of what had happened. She would probably know best. Tori nodded. "But if you chose it, I'd feel bad about killing the guy."

Jade looked down. "I wouldn't do that. I couldn't stand it."

"You know," Tori said slowly. "Me killing someone - that shouldn't matter." Jade's gaze came up and her brow furrowed. "I don't want to be policing your behavior. I shouldn't be able to. Me killing someone has nothing to do with you. I need to control myself and your actions aren't relevant to that."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to decide what to do. If you sleep with someone to get ahead and I kill him, I've fucked up because I let my crazy get the better of me."

"And I fucked up because I put my career ahead of you?"

"No," Tori said. "You never promised me anything like that. We're mated, not married. You never promised me anything."

"Except hugs."

Tori nodded. "Except hugs."

"You're nuts," Jade said. "So I could cheat on you because I never promised not to, and you couldn't be pissed?"

"I'd be hurt. I wouldn't be pissed. I don't have the right."

"Why the hell not!"

"Because I don't own you! That's what I'm trying to show you here! I'm not just letting you off your leash for a romp in the park. You need to figure out what you want from me, because I only want two things from you. I want you to care about me, and I want you to be happy with me. That's all. Those are the only dealbreakers."

"The only dealbreakers? Are you serious? Gavin and I had a three page contract that detailed exactly what my obligations and rights were."

Tori swallowed. A contract?

"I was allowed to finish high school. I was allowed to go to college, if it was nearby and if I studied something reasonable. I was obligated to bear him either a male alpha heir or five children. I was obligated to-"

"I'm not Gavin!" Jade shut up, but her eyes flared with anger. "I'm not going to take control of your life! I don't want to take control of your life! I want you to do what you want to do, do what you love, do what makes you happy. If staying mated to me makes you happy then I want to, but if it doesn't, then don't. I don't want to be the one to ruin your life!"

Jade was silent for a long moment. "Ruin it? You gave me one." She sighed. "That can't be all you want from me. You can't... You deserve more. I owe you-"

"Nuh-uh! You owe me honesty, okay?"

"Honesty?" Jade stared at her, and sank back into her chair. "Honestly, I will drag you down. I will make your life harder. I can keep you from getting what you want."

"I want to be happy. That doesn't mean impressing the whole world. I don't have to be a star."

"I thought I did." Jade stared at the table. "If I had a big break, I thought maybe my dad would think I'm special - not just a cheap-ass bargaining chip. I could bring in the cash and he would love me as much as he loved money."

"You're worth more than money."

"Don't be a sap, Vega."

Tori grinned. "Sorry."

Jade glanced up at her, and then her eyes darkened. "Honesty, you said?" She shrugged lightly. "You look really hot in that dress."

"Oh!" Tori felt her cheeks heat up. "Um, thanks."

"Have you considered investing in a push up bra?"

Tori covered her face and laughed. "You're the worst!"

"What? I like to look at you. And I can't say I'm not pleased when you get stares from beta guys that you will never want as much as you want me. I'm good with handfuls, but if you look less like a beanpole they'll be even more jealous of me."

"You like that?"

Jade shrugged. "People get weirded out that you're an alpha, but you're a girl, too. I like that. Maybe if you make it more obvious, I'll freak out less over you being an alpha."

"So, a push up bra would help with your psychological issues?"

Jade smirked. "Better than pills."

The waiter put a plate down in front of them. "Your ceviche."

Tori looked at the bowl and wrinkled her nose. "What on earth is ceviche?"

"Raw seafood," Jade said blandly.

Tori narrowed her eyes. "This isn't garbage coffee, is it?"

Jade picked up a miniature fork. "No," she said, and took a bite, giving a waggle of her eyebrows as if to say, 'do you dare?'

Tori dared.

About halfway through the third rather peculiar course a funny looking beta man came in, waving over at a table of other diners.

Jade froze, looking astonished. "Fuck. Is that Tony Kushner?"

"Who?"

Jade narrowed her eyes. "Seriously? You don't know who Tony Kushner is?"

"No," Tori tried not to feel entirely humiliated.

"He's a playwrite. Jeez. What do you do with your life?"

"I'm not-" Tori bit off her words. "Look. I'm not a drama geek. I didn't obsess about being in the movies or on broadway or whatever since I was two. That was Trina, and I really, really tried to not pay attention when she spoke."

Jade cocked her head. "That's reasonable."

"What?" That was not the response Tori had expected.

"But if you are serious about performance, you should know Tony Kushner. He does some really interesting things. He even wrote the book for a musical that made me want to try it."

"You... want to write a musical?"

Jade tensed. "Is that-"

Was she asking if it was okay? Gavin and her dad were not allowed to haunt this relationship. She would be supportive 'til it killed her. "That sounds really cool, but - a musical? Like, a horror musical?"

Jade rolled her eyes, but she relaxed, settling into the comfortably dismissive posture that Tori had decided to think of as male beta Jade. "More of a psychological thriller. I'm thinking of making Andre work with me on it."

"I'll audition!"

Jade gave her a long considering look. "Learn to cry on cue and we can talk."

"Um, sure."

Jade pulled a notebook out of her pocket and flipped it open. She wrote a name down on the first line. "Okay," she said. "Let's see what other gaps in your performance education we need to fill in."

"You're making a list?"

Jade cocked her head and almost smiled. "You're a long term project."

"I'm a project?"

"You work on me and I'll work on you." She tugged the brim of her fedora and smirked.

Did that count as working on her? She looked happy - and when she paid for dinner she looked even happier. So maybe it did.

Jade pulled up outside Tori's house and walked her to her door. Tori ducked her head and tucked some hair behind her ear. "This was fun."

"You admitting that I'm a better date than you are?"

"You took it really seriously! Next time it's my turn, and I'm going to be the best date."

"What? You weren't taking me seriously before?" Jade's eyes glinted, and Tori felt a slice of excitement cut through her belly.

"Maybe I thought it would be easy."

"You thought I would be easy."

Tori laughed. No, never that. "I've never done this before."

"What? Make an ass of yourself pursuing a girl without figuring out that you want to bang her, accidentally mate her, and then pull some stupid hero hijinks to save the fucking day?"

Tori winced. Well, she had never done that before either. "I mean date anyone, try to have a relationship. Movies make it seem easy."

"You need to watch better movies." Jade flipped open her list and added another name to it. "And most things are a lot more difficult than they seem in the movies. Consider jumping from the roof of a moving car onto a train. In the movies, easy. Don't try it at home."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

Jade stepped closer to her, putting a hand possessively on her hip. Tori's mouth shut. "I've never done it either."

She leaned in and kissed her. Tori sighed into it. Her alpha purred. Somehow it felt just as good to have Jade be the one pressing her against the door and cupping her jaw firmly to turn her head as did the reverse. Maybe belonging to someone was a lot more of a symmetric relationship than most people assumed.

TV*JW TV*JW TV*JW

On Saturday Jade showed up at 10 am with a stack of DVDs.

"Hey, cancel your plans. You're getting educated."

Tori couldn't help but grin.

They sprawled out lazily on Tori's bed and Jade gave her a short lecture on Cary Grant and the New Alpha before sticking in the first film and curling up against her. Tori loved the way Jade smelled, and the soft curve of her hip under her hand, and even the elbow to her ribs whenever Jade thought she wasn't paying attention.

After a while she stopped getting the elbows, but she stopped noticing, because the dynamic in the movie had pulled her in. A spoilt and bitchy omega struggling for independence, for control, that ended in submission to a dominant, casually cruel, sexually powerful alpha. Jade's body was tense under hers, but not in the way she expected. It hummed slightly, rough pants high in her chest, and Tori noticed that her hand had kept sliding over Jade's hip, down her leg and back up, throughout the film.

"Do you like this movie?" Tori asked softly.

Jade rolled over to look at her. Her eyes were slightly dilated, lips red, cheeks pinked. "Not... intellectually. But, it's-" She hesitated, and Tori leaned in to capture her lips. Jade fell back, arching slightly, pressing her hips up.

"It turns you on?" Tori inquired. It was a two hour movie. That was some effort there.

"Not usually." Jade grinned.

"Do you... want it?"

"Want what?" An inquisitive eyebrow suggested an available option.

"Want to be topped?" Tori winced. "Because you hate being controlled."

Jade stared at her, blue-green eyes wide and shocked. "Yeah," she said. "I hate it, in real life. But in bed... I could go for that. Sometimes."

"Oh." Tori felt herself stiffen. She wasn't sure whether the thought was more exciting or more terrifying. "I don't know if I can do that."

Jade leaned into her shoulder, biting down lightly. "You're an alpha. Do what comes naturally."

Did any of this really come naturally? Kissing her did. Kissing her was like jumping off a cliff - the run up, the terror, and then finding out you could fly and you never wanted to land. The skin of her neck was smooth and warm and Jade made little submissive whimpering sounds when she kissed and licked at it. Tori found herself on top, Jade warm and firm under her... and soft.

Tori shifted backwards until she was sitting, and pulled Jade up, propping her against a stack of pillows when she seemed disinclined to stay upright.

"What?" Jade mumbled. "That was going fine."

"Yeah." Tori leaned in and licked the hollow of her throat, not letting her eyes drop, but spotting the reddening mark she had left high up under Jade's jaw. It was a kind of possession, a vivid splash of it. And Tori felt a rush of arousal following. Oh, that was what she meant by coming naturally. Wanting to pin Jade's wrists against the wall, bite and suck to leave more marks, hold down her hips and hear her beg.

She so wasn't ready for any of that.

But... Tori's eyes flicked down. Maybe she was ready for one thing. She leaned in for one more kiss - open mouths - wet - tongue.

"God," Jade leaned her head back, gripping the bedspread until her knuckles went white. "I'm not going into heat for another week. You shouldn't be able to make me this hot."

Tori breathed, her chest tight, shutting her eyes to try to regain control. "Can I..."

Jade's eyes were dark and heavily lidded. The corners of her lips quirked up. "Do what you want to me."

Tori leaned in and pressed her lips against her neck. Tentatively, hesitantly, she let her hand slide up to cup Jade's left breast. It was so... soft, like just risen dough, and heavy, far more so than her own. Her thumb brushed over Jade's nipple, and she hissed.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Tori jerked her hand back.

Jade glared at her, furiously. "Don't you dare stop. Take my shirt off and do it again!"

Tori's mom could walk in at any moment, and if she even passed by she probably would. Anyone within smelling distance of the room would know what was going on in here. But the chance to see Jade topless, and to do more than just see...

Tori's gut clenched. Oh no, it wasn't just for the bragging rights.

"Oh yes please," she squeaked.

Jade snorted in amusement.

Hurriedly she wrestled a laughing Jade out of her shirt, and then fumbled helplessly with her bra. It wasn't fair. She was supposed to be able to manage that part! But getting a bra off of someone else and getting one off yourself were not quite equivalent. But then she got it and it popped open, dropping down, Jade's breasts tumbling free. Jade shrugged it off, and leaned back, smirking, confident.

A tight hot throb between her legs made Tori flinch. She reached out, cupping the smooth curve of skin, rubbing her thumb over the puckered areola. Jade gave a strained little gasp, arching her back, just slightly - enough to press her breast harder into Tori's hand.

The rush of heat and power made her light headed. Tori licked the pad of her thumb and brushed it across Jade's nipple. Jade's hips jerked.

"Fuck, Tori."

Tori pinched the nipple between her thumb and forefinger and rolled. She leaned in and caught the other with her lips, licking and sucking, moving her weight to press down on Jade's writhing hips.

"Tori, god, Tori - I need you. I need you in me." She bit. "Fuck!"

"OH MY GOOOOOOOD!" Trina's shrill tones broke through the fevered heat. Tori pulled back and looked over. Trina slapped her hands over her eyes. "I've been scarred for life!"

"Trina, what?"

"I've seen my little sister's knot!"

Tori and Jade exchanged a puzzled glance.

"These are my tits," Jade said flatly. "I know they might look a little impressive compared to the ones you've seen, but no knots are out right now."

Trina took her hands away from her eyes. "I know what tits look like," she said. She eyed up Jade a little more than Tori was comfortable with. "And mine are bigger."

"Trina!" Tori yelped. This was too much. She scrambled up and hustled Trina to the door. "Get out! And stop ogling my girlfriend's breasts."

"It's your fault for taking them out during daylight hours! Put a sock on the door handle, damn it!" Trina flounced down the hall.

Tori shut the door and leaned back against it. "So, that killed the mood, I guess."

Jade snorted. "If Trina walked into an orgy it would wilt."

Tori sagged. Jade's breasts were still right there. She hadn't wilted completely.

Jade rolled her eyes. "Get over here and we can snuggle. You can even feel me up, if you're that desperate. I'm putting on the next movie."

Tori pouted. "I'm not that desperate."

Jade raised an eyebrow, then started reaching for her shirt.

"Nonononono!" Tori leaped across the room and looped her arms around her, pulling her into her chest.

"God, you're a dork!" But Jade turned toward her, grinning, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She reached out and hit the spacebar on the laptop and then lay back, letting Tori curl around her. "Now this is a really good one, and there's going to be a quiz afterwards, so don't get too distracted or I'm putting them away."

Tori nuzzled into Jade's hair and let her hands side up until she held what she wanted to. "I'll have you know that I am an excellent student."

And Suspicion was an excellent movie, though ever after, Tori could not discuss it in public without turning the color of a tomato. And when she saw Pete the next afternoon she totally got a high five.