Chapter 81: Trouble II

Lei Yao, youngest son of Emperor, Jun Yao was no fool. He was an intelligent man who had studied in Xing, Aerugo and Britannia. He had the same age as Jun Li Wei and was often called attractive by women. He had a pale face with sharp features, long black hair that was usually braided, pale grey eyes and a nice set of muscles. He had never tried to become emperor because he had hardly an interest in having a harem of fifty wives and when he had heard that his nephew, Emperor Ling, had refused to take so many wives and had married just his childhood sweetheart instead, he had laughed – which had offended the present members of their clan but he was still a prince and he could do whatever he wanted. Lei was a good fighter and had made it through the years without a bodyguard. His record was clean for he had hardly done anything illegal. He had never taken part in any fights between the clans – he had never thought that it might be necessary because of his high social status.

But even though he hadn't met his nephew, the emperor Ling, in many years, Lei had heard that they were very similar. They were both rebels who didn't accept the rules. It had taken years from him to track his one and only love down but now he had found her – in Amestris. He still remembered their little affair with happiness and he still regretted their breakup. He was proud that he had been able to find her again because she had always been one of the best warriors he had known in his life.

Jun Li was tired of being what everyone else wanted her to be.
She had lost all the faith she used to have in other people. She was lost beneath the surface of her seemingly perfection and she had the impression that she was drowning in her own mistakes. She didn't even know what everyone was expecting from her. She was under pressure and everyone wanted her to walk into shoes which weren't made for her and every step that she took was just another mistake to her. She had become numb to all the pain she had been suffering for years now and even though she knew that she should be able to, she couldn't feel the chi of her enemies from afar like she had been able to once. It was worrying her but she had lost the interest. She had grown tired over the years. She knew that she had become what she had always dreaded to be and all she wanted was to be more like herself and less how the others wanted her to be.

She sometimes wondered if the others knew that they were pressuring to be someone she couldn't be. Jun Li wasn't like her grandfather, no matter how hard she had tried. She was a skilled fighter and only few could withstand her when she fought with everything she had but that wasn't what she wanted to be. She was holding on tightly to what she had left from her old self but her fear of losing control was driving her crazy. But what could she still do? Everything she had thought that she could be one day had fallen in front of her and she had stood there and had watched how everything had been shattered into millions of tiny little pieces.

Technically, every second she got to waste was a second that brought her closer to the rest of her real personality but she knew that she might end up failing again. But she knew as well that she would be not her if she would be able to stand it when someone was disappointed in her. That wasn't her. She lived for performing her duty. She lived for being the last pillar of strength for Jun Yao and if this duty would demand her life, she would gladly give it away in order to keep her master alive because after all, he was everything she had left after so many years in which any personal relationship would have been a way to manipulate Jun Yao because as his most trusted servant, she had always had influence on him and many people had tried to make her a friend in order to gain favours of the old emperor.

Jun Li hated being a toy. She hated being used like she had no own feelings. She hated when people didn't even recognised her hard work. She had been keeping Xing safe for years and she had hardly heard a word of appreciation for her work.

Lei watched Jun Li from afar for a second. Her long hair was in a mess – something he hadn't seen in an even longer time – and she was scolding a little boy who looked down while he tried to protest against her strict orders. Lei chuckled as he watched the scene. She had always been great when it came to put other people back in line after a mistake. He giggled under his breath as he sneaked up on her before he hugged her from behind. She immediately tensed up and he slowly turned her around, carefully to keep her from taking out a weapon. "It has been a while, Jun Li," he said while he smiled down at her with happiness to see her again, "but you are surely beautiful as always."

"Lei Yao…" she whispered. "Why … what…"

"I missed you," he replied. "I really did."

She lowered her head, tired of everything. "My prince…" she sighed. She knew that it had been her mistake to call Jun Yao 'her emperor' and Lei Yao 'her prince'. She had claimed them both as hers – a long time ago.

"My darling…" he lovingly kissed her forehead. "What do you to here? You should have stayed in Xing … with me … it would have been a good idea…"

"I had my reasons," she said as she turned away. "Why did you come?"

Everyone else would have thought that she was accusing him but he saw the confusion which caused her slight aggressiveness against him.

"For the past years, I was gathering intelligence on your actual position, Jun Li. Now I finally found you!"

Cai Yao tugged the woman's sleeve. "Who is this, Jun-Jun?"

"My name is Lei Yao," the man said with an elegant bow.

The boy's eyes widened. "Jun-Jun, what does he want here?"

"Cai, I explain later, yes?" she said, nearly begging.

"You have still the best connections to the Roy al family as I can see," Lei said while he kissed Jun Li's fragile head. "My darling, oh, my darling…"

"Later, both of you," she said, desperately gathering her usual collected attitude. "I need to go to Mr Wu."

The faint light of the flame made the black hair look like ebony, warm yet unfaltering. The bright silver ribbon amidst the dark locks seemed to be the silver line at the horizon when night turned into day. Edward leaned back in his chair as he looked up to Phil who sat on the couch while Jade rested her head on his lap and slept.

"This is the calmest I have seen her in a long time," the black-haired man said softly.

"You aren't exactly supportive enough for her to relax completely," Edward said as he sipped on his tea. "She is always looking out for you and … you aren't treating her all that nicely…"

"We both know the pain of losing someone we cared for just too well," he replied as he ran his fingers through his sister's hair. "To feel how someone rips away half of your life, half of your soul away is painful but to know that it is your own fault makes the pain unbearable."

"Then, why don't you help her out of her pain?"

"How can I help her when I suffered the same fate?" the older state alchemist asked. "When we were thirteen, younger than you are now, I was forced to rip my own sister, my most precious person away from me. I ripped off half of my soul to protect her and forgot that she would suffer too. So we lost half of our souls because of my foolishness … and my egoism."

"And the second time when it happened?" Edward asked.

"When we were at the Western Military Academy, we became friends with Helena Hamilton and her younger sister, Serena. We grew even further apart afterwards because while I became close friends with Serena, Jade stuck to Lynn. And so we both know the pain the other one is in … without really being part of each other's life anymore. We live two lives – and no longer one and the same."

"Doesn't it hurt? Doesn't it hurt to lose someone so close to you?"

"Love hurts, didn't you know?" The older man sighed deeply as his eyes became warmer for a moment as his voice grew softer and for a moment, Edward understood why this man had been chosen as most charismatic male leader in the western area quite a few times – along with Bendix Llewellyn. "When she looks at me, I have no choice but to follow. This moment is eternal and repeats itself over and over again because every time she leaves, I follow her. Because wherever she is, there is the sun … there is life. No matter how many times I try to let go of her, I cannot do it. We have two lives now … but still only one heart, no matter how many times we try to shatter it in order to gain two. I will carry her through when she cannot walk anymore because of all the pain but right now, she is still walking. There are many kinds of battle – but in the end, it comes down to two big groups … there's the battle for honour and pride, the battle to prove a point. As long as she fights this kind of fight, I have no right to interfere … because I wouldn't want her to stop me either. As soon as she loses this battle, as soon as it becomes a fight to the death, I will interfere because no matter how much she will hate me afterwards, I can take her hatred but not her death," Phil said calmly. "She is my sister – even after everything else. I am nearly obligated to love her for this reason … even though she would argue with me in that point. We are siblings, we share the same blood and the same dream. I tried to hate her from the depths of my heart but … I couldn't. I couldn't hate her because the most primal kind of love, the love for a kinsman, a comrade … it doesn't vanish just because a foolish human like me tries to hate his sister. Love doesn't ask any questions, whether it's welcomed or not. It simply stays where it is needed. You cannot run as soon as love gets involved. I learned this the hard way."

Seconds after this revelation, he fell asleep and a minute later, Jade awoke and rubbed her eyes while the strands her brother had braided stuck out from her head like antennas. "Did you and my brother have a nice conversation?" she inquired as her perfect mask slipped onto her face again.

"We talked about … automail, yes," Edward lied. "He is worried about his hand, I guess."

"That's likely," she said as her brother's head fell onto her lap. "He hasn't been the same old Phil for a long time … I had hoped … ah well, it's not so important," she interrupted herself.

"I don't like the idea that you have secrets which might endanger the mission," he stated. "Win says that you are having nightmares, that you are talking in your sleep … about a mistake…"

She snorted. "That's why I would have preferred to sleep in the kitchen or somewhere else where I wouldn't disturb those who can sleep at night," she stated coolly. "And my brother has nightmares too. There is no way in hell that he might be able to deal with her death without dreaming about it. He cared. She was probably the only person on earth he deeply, truly cared about."

"Who are you talking about?"

"The mermaid, of course," she snapped before her short moment of outrage was covered up by a deep sigh. "She knew that she was the key … the key to the last part of his heart that was uncorrupted … that was still the heart of the boy he used to be, so many years ago."

"How can you two even put up with each other's arrogance and … coldness?"

She shrugged. "The arrogance we show is mostly our protection. We … we learned our lesson. When we let get other people too close, we ended up hurt and they mostly died or got gravely injured. To keep others away is something which became our second nature along the years," she said. "By now, we don't even feel pain about the loneliness we cause ourselves anymore. We are fine on our own. We don't need anyone else. Phil and I only need each other."

"That means that you both have the person you need the most always nearby but never truly there, right?" he stated. "You and your brother … there is a wall between you, correct?"

"When it counts, we have the keys," she smirked.

The female state alchemist sighed deeply as she stared into the flames. "My brother and I … that's strange. It's like a rush that never stops … destructive but beautiful. It's difficult to explain but sometimes I imagine us to be magnets … magnets that cannot be together but also not far away from each other. When I leave, he always follows – even when he said that he wouldn't come after me this time. In the end, we are on our best way to destroy each other … but that's what siblinghood is about … deep down, it's all about love … and who can claim to understand love … the only emotion that doesn't fight but that still wins … that doesn't want but still gets whatever it needs…" She shook her head. "To me, love is a lot Phil … or air. It has been there all my life … never question, never an answer. Deep down, I wish that we and Roy as well could be children once again. When we were younger, Roy had the kindest and most beautiful smile in the whole world … I want to get this smile back … just like Lynn wanted to retrieve Riza's smile from the darkness as well. We both knew that Ishbal and everything else wasn't easy for them … and even though it sounds wrong, we want to thank them … for being there."

"You love them, your brother and your cousin, that much? I believed you to be colder than that."

"Technically, you are right. I am not called the Drachman Blizzard for no reason. I am the coldest among the three of us, the one who stays in control all the time. But that doesn't render me unable to love … or to care. You are brave and smart, Elric, can't you figure it out as well?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I can understand why you love them, yes. They are your blood, your flesh. That's why you see it as your duty to be there for them. I can understand as much because I have a younger brother as well … but that only explains Phil … and not Roy. He is more like Winry than like Alphonse," the younger state alchemist shrugged.

"Well, the major difference between your Winry and my Roy is that I am not in love with Roy," she stated drily. "Roy's and my relationship hasn't changed since we were kids. No matter what happens, we will always love each other because we were born like this. There are no secrets, questions or lies that might destroy this relationship. He doesn't ask when there is no need to ask. We are two, still, and we are older now and can see everything crystal clear. And when I leave, we are still there … in the garden where we had so much fun as little children."

Edward awoke with a start from his nap as the phone rang. "Yeah?" he muttered.

"Mr Elric?" a male voice said. "We happen to have been able to capture a certain professor from the well-known university of Lutetia…"

"You are dead," the blonde said. "She will murder you."

"Without the option to use alchemy? I doubt it!" the kidnapper laughed darkly. "And the house where we keep her used to belong to her former fiancé! Isn't that funny?"

Edward closed his eyes. He owed his Cretan Teacher to help her in times of need for all she had done for him. While he stayed silent, he remembered the picture on Catherina's desk. The couple had looked so happy but she had mentioned that she had broken up with the man. She had also told him that her former fiancé had been fromWestern Amestris. And the name … the name of the man … Ha … Hami … Hamilton!

"I'll get her back, no matter what," the blond alchemist vowed.

He had just some things to do: to get to know where exactly Mr Hamilton had had his mansion, why Catherina had been kidnapped and how to save her. The problem was that he knew who had the answers … but it meant to him that he would have to crawl back to Jade who was probably the only person with the permission to the record room and the will to bend some rules. He groaned in frustration. He had known that they would meet again.

Jun Yao raised his head as his old servant opened the door to his study. "What happened, lily?" he asked gently. "You are so disturbed…"

"Lei … he re…returned…" she whispered while she collapsed onto a chair. "He … he tracked me down."

The old emperor was impressed by his son's stubbornness as he made his way around the desk to kiss her forehead. "And aren't you happy?" he asked carefully.

"I … I just got over him … and now he comes back!" she slapped herself for being so foolish. She felt torn between her duty and her heart – just the way she had felt years ago. Back then, her responsibility had won out and now she was worried that she might lose control this time around.

"Jun Li!" the old emperor shook her gently. "Please … stay as strong as we know you…"

"He will break me this time around! He will shatter me! I know it!"

"I hate to say it that bluntly, my lily, but … it's like this: Lei loves you, he really, really loves you!"

"Why should he love someone as pathetic and weak as me, master?"

"You are beautiful, my daughter," he smiled. "And he loved you for many, many years. My son is a good and loyal man, better than I or anyone else could ever be. He respects you deeply, Jun Li."

"I … I…" Jun Li chocked out as she wiped her eyes. "It hurts me! It tears me apart!"

The next morning, Jade was busy with her reports as the door to her office was slammed open as Edward walked into the room like it was his own. "Morning, Breeze Soul," he announced.

She leaned back while she said goodbye to her idea of a peaceful morning. "Fullmetal," she stated.

"Say, didn't you tell me that you have the keys to the old file room on the fifth floor? I need some files and I don't want to bother General Armstrong with it…" he muttered.

"The file room on the fifth?" she frowned at him. "There should be nothing with any importance to you, Elric. Those files are old – and they are all about the fallen soldiers of our army. It's nothing where you should go just because you can, Fullmetal."

"I need information on something very important to me and I need the file of a deceased soldier," he said as he stood his ground. "Please, Soul. I promise that no on will ever know that I was in there."

She glared at him before she started to chuckle. "I know that you think that I am no match for you, Fullmetal, but do you honestly think that I would catch on?" she asked. "Just for the record – the first thing I did when I took over the room, I changed the order of every single file until it had an order I can work with. If you ever took the time to check my file, you would know what I was hired for in first place after the downfall of the corrupt system." She smiled smugly. "I am the expert for codes, orders and systems. I never came across a code I didn't get and – just as an advice – a system I see is usually more or less invisible for most other people."

"You like to blackmail people, don't you, Breeze Soul?" he sighed.

"It's one of my favourite hobbies, yes," she winked at him. "So, Fullmetal, what are you searching for?"

"The Hamilton-file," he said as casually as possible.

"I … I … somehow don't want to grant you the access," she muttered, "but I have to, right?"

The five files were dusty and Edward sighed deeply as Jade locked the room behind her as she left. The rules for reading these files were strict due to their content and he didn't want to risk an argument with Jade Mustang who seemed to be a little bit annoyed these days.

Five names were neatly written on the labels and five fates were told in the thick folders.

He read the names while he wondered why he had never asked so many questions. Peter Victor Hamilton – a general from the West with known connections to Creta due to his Cretan roots, his wife, Reine Hawkeye-Hamilton – a major general born in the East with the reputation to be very cruel and proud, their youngest daughter, Serena Ann Hawkeye Hamilton, a major who had been stationed in the Northern Area, at Briggs to be exact, her older twin sister, Helena Anastasia Hamilton Force, a major who had been working in the West before she had been summoned to Central City where she had died shortly after Edward had met her … and lastly, the second oldest daughter, Kay Victoria Hawkeye Hamilton – a major general who had served in the Ishbal-War where she had been famous as Steel Rose, her destruction rates weren't to be rivalled by anyone but Roy Mustang and Zolf J. Kimblee.

He randomly picked the file of Kay Hamilton and opened it. On top of the written reports were some pictures of her. He saw the idealistic gleam in her eyes when she had first entered the army and the complete despair in the photo taken after Ishbal. Many parts of her file had been erased, probably by the Bradley-regime, but there was one name mentioned in the file beneath the point 'known affiliations': Doctor Ralph Knox.

Other names were Roy Mustang, Maes Hughes, Riza Hawkeye and Olivier Armstrong but Edward felt like the doctor had to know a little bit more about the Hamilton-clan than them – especially since it was stated in a non-black part that he had treated Kay for weeks in Ishbal.