AN: Yep. I'm still alive.

...

so, I've learned something from this internet adventure in the fanfiction land. One of those things is, don't stop updating for long periods of time. That's bad. Really bad.

But uh yeah, this thing is for some reason still going on even though it's really almost done. Like seriously. This shit is almost done.

uh,

Enjoy?

"Your laundry finished in the washing machine awhile ago," Japan said as they both went down the stairs.

"So…uh…Kiku?" America awkwardly asked.

"Yes?" Japan responded.

"Never mind." America replied back. Shit. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he went to the washing machine and got his sheets out to put in the dryer. When he was done, he went to the dining area for breakfast. For the past day or so he'd been thinking more about Japan than food, so when he felt the scent of toast go up his nostrils, he felt squeamish. America went through the dining room to the kitchen to find a plate with two pieces of toast on it and Japan putting two more slices of bread into the toaster.

America turned towards Japan and said, "Kiku, I actually wanted to talk about something."

"Okay, what is it?"

"…" America felt his face light up and forgot was he was going to say.

"Actually Alfred, I've wanted to talk to you about something as well," Japan said.

"Hmm?" America found surprising, "W-well, you can go first; I kind of forgot what I wanted to tell you."

"Well, I know you're going through a rough time currently, but you've been acting so weird lately."

"…uh…well, what do you mean?"

"Like what you're doing right now. You haven't been that social lately and you seem nervous around me."

America now didn't know what to say. He didn't know he was showing his feelings that openly.

"I-I mean—okay. So, I noticed that I didn't really know anything about your, uh, personal life. Like you dating and stuff. So I was just wondering things about your dating life…and stuff."

"Oh," Japan said kind of embarrassed, "that's not something that I really talk about."

"I know! That's why I was wondering now, but I didn't know how to bring the topic into conversation, which is why I was being all nervous and stuff," America diabolically lied.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's all," America said then thought, "You're a genius man. This'll buy me time AND I get to know about him!"

"I guess I don't mind talking about it…" Japan said, "I haven't dated much lately, but I have had a relationship before."

"Only one?"

"No, I've had some."

America smirked, "Any one night stands?"

Japan blushed and looked away from America, "Uh, well—"

"You player, you totally have!"

"Just a couple! It's not something I'm really proud of."

"Maybe I should hint in on who he's specifically dated," America thought.

"So," America said, "what kind of people have you dated?"

"Why are you suddenly so interested in my personal life?" Japan questioned.

"Well I've told you plenty about mine! And I thought since we're bros we can talk about stuff like this."

Japan sighed, "You really like being in people's business."

America replied trying to persuade him, "I'm just getting to know you better man! Come on, don't you trust me?"

"…I don't want to answer that question."

"Then answer the one I asked you earlier."

"Okay okay," Japan replied. The toast popped up and Japan caught it in mid air and put it on the empty plate. Japan took both plates and put them on the table in the dining room as America followed behind impatiently waiting for Japan's answer. Japan was about to sit down when he realized he forgot something, "Oh! I almost forgot orange juice," Japan walked back into the kitchen and poured two glasses of orange juice for America and himself and brought them back to the table and sat down.

America sat down across from Japan, watching him eat his toast, hoping after he swallows the golden bread he'll answer back. He didn't.

"…Well?" America initiated that Japan hasn't answered his question.

"Well what?" Japan asked.

"The question! Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Oh!" Japan made a sly grin to show that he had an idea, "Since you brought this up, I have an idea on how we can both get what we want."

America was confused, "…What?"

Japan took a sip of his juice, "Because you want me to answer more about my personal life, and I want to you eat, I've thought of a deal we could make. For every meal you finish, I'll answer one question."

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"How is that not fair?"

"It…just isn't!"

"Well you can either accept my deal and eat food while you 'get to know me' better, or get nothing."

"…ugh, fine."

"Great, now finish your food."

America looked down at what Japan made. Thankfully it was just some toast and orange juice. Then America noticed that it wasn't just toast…the toast was from white bread. He became fearful of eating white bread since he started his diet because he heard it all dissolves into sugar when it's in your stomach. He ate one slice and had a sip of orange juice. Orange juice has a lot of sugar too. Damnit. America looked at the food with frustration, wanting to know more about Japan, but not wanting to consume anymore sugar-based bread or juice.

Japan was done with his breakfast within a couple minutes and went to put his dishes in the sink. When he came back America had the same frustrated face he had on when he left. It was as if America was trying to find some kind of loophole in the deal they just made about 10 minutes ago. Japan found it amusing (and secretly kind of cute), but was also hopeful that this would make America's eating habit increase. At one point Japan noticed he was staring at America's face and felt a warm feeling in himself, and became confused so he looked away and went to get his laptop.

America went for another 10 minutes with only drinking half of his orange juice, and the second piece of toast still lying there, having lost its crispiness and warmth. He poked at it as if it was a foreign food or England's cooking, and afraid to eat it. Japan was still sitting across from America, but now on his laptop typing something. America could hear Japan typing away at high speed, and then hear him say, "You know you're going to have to finish that at some point." America was startled at the fact that Japan could talk and type at the same time so well.

"I will."

"What's making you not finish it now?" Japan replied while still typing.

"There's…there's so much sugar in this."

"Not really. There's some, but not so much to be so cautious about it."

"…" America looked from frustrated to squeamish at the toast and half glass of OJ.

Japan stopped typing and looked over at America. He felt a little sympathy for him, the face America was making now always got to Japan for some reason. Though Japan couldn't give in now, he encouraged America to finish it.

"Alfred remember, none of what you're consuming will make you gain weight in a negative way. You need to gain weight, so any food you consume is helping and not harming you."

America looked at Japan and whined. He quickly gulped down the orange juice (he convinced himself to do so because there was a lot of vitamin C in it and not just sugar) and then looked at the toast as sort of evil villain trying to take over his stomach and make him obese. He took a quick bite of the top right corner of the bread and put it down. His bite consisted of mainly crust, which wasn't very tasty. Then he took the bread piece and folded it in half twice, to make a square. He squished it down as much as possible to make it seem like he wasn't eating that much then chewed it a couple times and swallowed it. He felt the bread expand in his esophagus, all the way down to his stomach. It was uncomfortable, but he did it.

"I'm done," America said, sounding defeated. Japan stopped typing and saw that there was no food or drink left by America. He grinned, and was about to get up to take America's dishes when America stood up and said, "Don't worry about the dishes, I'll take them." America took the dishes in his hands and sluggishly walked to the kitchen, and practically threw the dishes in the sink from the lack of grip he had on them from the start. He put both hands on the counter, just thinking of throwing up right then and there, but then he remembered how upset Japan and everyone else would be, so he breathed in and out slowly, and walked back to the dining table where Japan still had his laptop open, but could tell that Japan was waiting for him to come back.

"So what do you want to know?" Japan asked.

That's when America remembered the pact they made just about 20 minutes ago. He went from sad to excited in an instant, and immediately sat down next to Japan with a big smile on his face.

"Oh yeah! So, my first question I want you to answer is the one you didn't answer before, what kind of people have you dated? Like do you have a type?"

"Well I don't really have a particular 'type', as long as they seem nice and we have mutual interests I don't mind having a relationship with them."

"Hmm, interesting," America said, "We have mutual interests! AND I'm a nice person! I have a better chance than I thought," America thought.

Now America had to wait until lunch time to have another question answered. Since he was extremely behind on his work, he decided to do that for the next hour or two. After about 30 or so papers filled out, America needed to take a break. He went outside of his office to the living room to watch some TV. He saw that Japan fell asleep curled up on the couch (which he deep down inside admitted was adorable). He stared at Japan for about 10 seconds, until he realized what he was doing was kind of creepy and quietly went upstairs to watch TV in his room instead. When he sat down on his bed he felt like he sat on something hard, and discovered his journal under his butt. He totally forgot this thing existed, and thought about writing in it later. He sat it beside him and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels for a couple minutes and saw there was nothing that really interested him on TV, so he turned it off and decided to write in his journal.

I really have no idea what I'm doing. At first I was planning on being subtle about my feelings for Kiku, but now I've suddenly gotten myself into this deal we made during breakfast. I only get to ask him one question every time I finish a meal. This sucks. I have better things to do than eat. I wish I could truly see what was wrong with me; it's been so long since I've seen myself in a good way.

I just thought of something. Even if I like Kiku and he somehow likes me back, would he even like me the way I look now? I mean, Kiku's still a guy and whoever he wants to be with, he'd probably like it if they were attractive. Am I too fat for him, or I guess as he would see it, too skinny? Oh god, I feel so ashamed thinking of him in that manner, because I certainly find him…attractive.

America looked around as if someone could be spying on him. He crouched into his notebook feeling self conscious on what he was about to write. His hand writing became smaller and closer together, as if terrified that if someone somehow stumbles upon his journal, they wouldn't be able to read this particular part of his entry.

I could barley take my eyes off of him downstairs just adorably sleeping. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and—

America stopped writing and shamefully blushed. The homophobic guilt came over him as he put his hands over his face. Was he seriously thinking about this over a dude? This could all be a phase, because he was having such a hard time with his life right now. Maybe he should go to one of those shrinks who deal with that kind of stuff. No, he knows himself that things like that are bullshit; it'll just make him feel worse. He could feel the two sides of himself fighting again on what kind of thing he was getting into. On one side it said that he should embrace who he was because repressing it wouldn't be healthy. Another part of him was calling himself a faggot and that he's sinning just thinking about it. His head began to hurt until there was a knock at the door. This brought America back to reality and he said, "Come in!"

Japan slowly opened the door and peeped his head through the doorway before he came inside, "I was just wondering where you were. I took a nap on the couch and when I woke up I saw you were gone from your office."

"I was just taking a break. I saw you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up, so I came up to my room."

"Oh. You could've woke me up if you wanted."

There was silence for a couple seconds before America asked, "So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know; I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Heh, I guess we've been hanging out for so long we don't know what to do with ourselves."

Japan made a small grin, "I guess we have."

America and Japan smiled at each other, and then they both felt a jump in their heartbeat and looked away. They were both caught up in their own reactions that either of them didn't notice that they both did the same thing. America was blushing feeling embarrassed and ashamed, while Japan felt awkward and confused. Then America got a huge idea and stood up off of his bed, leaving his journal open for the world to see.

"I have an idea! How about we get out of this house? It feels like we've been in here for days."

"We have been in here for days, about 3 to be exact."

"Well we should get some fresh air! Stop being shut-ins, and see what we can find in the outside world!"

"Well then what do we do outside then?"

"We could…umm…" America wanted to go outside, but he couldn't think of anything he wanted to do. He wanted to do something that he knew Japan and him really enjoy, "I know! How about we play some good old fashion baseball?"

"That sounds nice, but there's only the two of us."

"No problamo mi amigo," America went down the hall to the linen closet and found a baseball and two baseball gloves, "we can just play catch."

Japan and America dressed out of their pajamas into some regular clothes and went out to America's backyard to play some catch. They both felt the need to go outside for awhile since for the past couple weeks they've been mostly inside other than going to the store. Japan didn't want to stay out too long because he didn't want America to use up too much energy, but he did enjoy being outside and feeling the sun again.

"Dude, we haven't done this in awhile," America said throwing the ball to Japan.

"You're right, I can't even remember the last time we just played like this," Japan replied back then caught the ball, "it feels like old times, you know?" Japan threw the ball a bit further than where America was, forcing him to back up a bit and barley catch the ball. He hadn't used his muscles (or what's left of them really) in so long, it felt kind of awkward to put in so much effort for something.

"Heh, yeah, good times," America throws the ball, "It's so much easier to play this with you than Mattie," Japan catches the ball then throws it back, "I swear every time I'd throw the ball at him it'd hit him!"

"You were probably throwing too hard for him to even try to catch it," Japan suggested.

America stood there for a second thinking, "That would explain the bruises," America then he throws the ball to Japan and Japan catches it, "Well then why are you catching the ball so much easier?"

"Probably because in your current condition, you don't have enough strength to throw as hard as you used to," Japan throws the ball to America, and America misses catching the ball. The ball rolls away into a part of the flower garden. America fetches to go get the ball and bends over to get it. As he bends over his jeans fall to where you can see part of his boxers, even though his belt is on the last hole. He picks up the ball and runs back holding his pants with his other hand. When he stops he's panting and Japan becomes concerned.

"Do you want to take a break? We have been doing this for about 15 minutes."

"No no! I'm good," America said taking some last few breaths until he started breathing normally, "Let's keep going." The way America was breathing made him feel like the way he did when he first started working out during his diet. He felt just as out of shape now as when he did then, only now it's because he doesn't have enough weight to sustain any energy instead of too much. America threw the ball to Japan as hard as he could to see if he had any of his abnormal strength left. He ended up throwing the ball about twice as far as he should've, making Japan having to rush for the ball backwards, but Japan ended up catching it. When Japan came back, America wanted to ask him a question; this time not about Japan, but about himself.

"Hey Kiku," America said before Japan threw the ball.

"Yes?" Japan answered, holding the ball in the loosely fitted mitt.

"Because of my, uh, condition, I guess I'm not truly able to understand what I look like, right?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but in simple terms, yes," Japan said as he threw the ball.

"So, right now, how would you say I look?" America caught the ball.

"Very thin."

"Well I know that I apparently look skinny, but do you think you could be more detailed than that?"

America throws the ball and Japan catches it with ease. He then looks at America to try to answer his question, "You look…as if you hadn't eaten in days. As if you are sick I guess. Very tired too," Japan walks closer towards America, looking at the features on America's face to where America could feel Japan's eyes scanning his expressions, "You also look very sad," when Japan said that he sounded sad as well, like he felt bad that his good friend was feeling down, "and melancholy. As if you have almost given up but you're not quite there—"

"Okay Japan I get it!" America said irritated and turning away from him. America always used nation names when he was getting upset.

Japan realizing that he went too far with analyzing America and quickly bowed and apologized, "I'm sorry Alfred. I didn't mean to hurt you feelings. You know how blunt I am with things sometimes."

America sighed and put his hand on his face, pinching the skin between his eyebrows in frustration with himself and Japan, "I-it's fine, I shouldn't have asked." They stood there for a couple seconds, Japan still holding the ball, while America faces the away from Japan with a hand over his face, both of them frozen in the midday sun.