Changes and Choices

Disclaimer: I do not own "Buffy: the Vampire Slayer," "Angel," or "NCIS."

AN: Thank you to my wonderful reviewers: Nedy Rahn, aveave, sambam17, and A reader. Nedy Rahn, that's a really good idea; maybe that could be for a sequel. A reader, I've never seen "Criminal Minds," but maybe you should write that story.

Chapter 10

NCIS Team Assemble!

"So, what's the plan?" asked Tony, rubbing his hands together as he entered Angel's motel room. He was followed by Gibbs, Ziva, Tim, Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy.

"Whoa," said Ellie. "What are they doing here? I told you to bring Gibbs, Tim, and Ziva. Not everyone."

"They're my team," said Tony, a bit hurt by Ellie's commanding tone. Usually when Ellie used her domineering voice, she was joking. Today she just looked serious, too serious.

"They're no good in a fight," argued Ellie, sounding strained. "They'll just get in the way."

"Um, hello, we're standing right here," said Abby.

"I know," replied Ellie. "And you shouldn't be." Then, more softly, "You could get hurt."

"My dear girl, we work at NCIS; we know the risks," comforted Ducky. "We live with them every day."

"This is different," rejoined Ellie, running her hand through her hair.

"Buffy's right," said Angel, finally joining the conversation as he exited the shadows.

"Oh, I was wondering where you were. Great to see you," said Tony with false mirth.

Ellie realized she wasn't going to get anywhere with Tony and his team on this. Turning to Angel, she said, "Angel, they need to leave. I agreed to let the fighters help, not the others. You know what could happen."

"I know," soothed Angel. "But we won't let anything happen to them." Speaking even lower, so that only Buffy could hear him, Angel continued, "Remember, it won't be like before. We won't allow our friends to become casualties. Everything will be fine."

"Hey," interjected Tony, going alpha male on Angel, "do you maybe want to speak up a bit so the rest of us can hear you. You know, it would be polite."

"Tony," warned Ellie. "Now's not the time."

"Well, stop trying to send Abby and Ducky home," said Tony.

"And Jimmy," said Ellie. It had always been a pet peeve of hers the way Gibbs and his team treated Palmer. Sure he was a bit odd, but he was a good guy. She thought he would make one hell of a medical examiner one day.

"Look," said Gibbs, getting involved before Tony and Ellie could start fighting again. Even though Tony's devil-may-care attitude had been worrying, it was better than Tony just completely imploding. "How about Ducky and Abby ... and Jimmy stay for the planning and just don't come with us for the fight. They'll still be safe, but we'll have the brains behind our operation involved in the brains part."

"Fine," agreed Ellie grudgingly, realizing that further argument would not get her anywhere.

"So, catch us in," said Ziva.

"Up," corrected Ellie, finding herself smiling despite the dire circumstances.

Angel and Ellie spent the next hour telling the team everything they knew so far, only leaving out a few details. Angel had been about to spill the beans on the whole "true love" prophecy thing when Ellie cut him off, only telling the team the bare bones of the prophecy. "According to the prophecy, Angel and I can defeat the Sargniss. It doesn't tell us how," she had said abruptly, shooting Angel an annoyed glare—a glare that did not go unnoticed by Tony or Gibbs.

Just as they were finishing the briefing, there was a knock at the door. "You expecting someone?" asked Gibbs cautiously, moving to draw his weapon.

Ignoring Gibbs' actions, Angel strode to the door and pulled it open without even looking through the peephole first. Gibbs was about to say something about it when a lithe young woman walked in. She had brown eyes and soft brown hair. She had a sweet face but there was something else in it, something that made Gibbs wary. He would not want to admit to his team how unsettled he suddenly felt, but was glad to see Ziva shifting uncomfortably as well. Whatever was going on, Ziva had noticed it, too.

"Illyria," said Angel in greeting.

She did not respond, just entered the motel room.

Looking to Buffy, she said, "Slayer," as an odd compilation of greeting, warning, and disapproval.

"Hey, Illyria," said Ellie, feigning cheeriness. "You been staying away from the whiskey this time?" she teased.

"You should not speak to me in such a manner."

"OK," said Ellie, in that way of hers, when she would make her mouth incredibly small and round on the "O" and make the shrug seem like part of the word.

Resisting the urge to laugh, Angel wordlessly handed Illyria the notepad that had all their information in it. "We just finished going through all the information with them, but it's all there if you want to read it."

Nodding her head once curtly, Illyria took the proffered notepad.

"So ... who is this chick?" asked Tony cavalierly, earning him an un-amused glare from Illyria.

"That's Illyria," answered Ellie. "Don't piss her off."

"Why, what will she do to me?"

"Kill you," answered Ellie and Angel simultaneously. This prompted them to share a small smile with each other that did not make Tony happy.

He was trying to be open-minded and easy-going, but he was finding it more and more difficult as he spent more time with Angel. He knew there was something there between Ellie and Angel, and he just wasn't sure what it was. They were too comfortable with each other. Too informal. Trying to shake it off, he responded, "So, another fighter? Great! Now we have seven!"

"Five," answered Ellie and Angel, again at the same time, causing Tony's brow to furrow more.

"No," said Tim, stepping in, "seven. You two, her, Tony, Gibbs, Ziva, and me. Seven."

"Yeah, technically," conceded Ellie. "But, let's be honest, with your experience, you guys kind of count for half a person each." After a beat, "Sorry."

Tim stopped for a second, trying furiously to think of a retort, then, shoulders slumped, he just said, "No, it's fair."

"At least count us as two and a half," grumbled Gibbs, trying to keep the situation light despite the seriousness of the issue. "Ziver and I should at least count for three-fourths of a person each."

Ellie laughed, shaking her head. "You, Jethro, are a card," she said, neither accepting nor rejecting Gibbs' proposal.

Letting the light moment sit for a few seconds, Angel then sobered. "Abby, Ducky, Jimmy, will you guys help me make plans?"

"Yeah, and I'll go over fighting techniques with these guys," said Ellie, indicating the rest of the NCIS people.

Ellie had been sparring with Tony and his team for nearly an hour when Illyria pushed the papers away from herself and announced, "I have finished. I require clarification."

"What's up, Illyria?" asked Angel, pulling himself away from the plans laid out in front of him.

"How will you attempt to halt the Sargniss?"

"Well, we're working on attack plans now," said Angel.

"And I'm teaching these guys how to fight demons; you know, how to account for the size and strength difference," added Ellie.

"This does not answer my question," continued Illyria. "What part does 'love' play?"

"What?" asked Ellie sharply. Had she been drinking, she would have done a spit-take.

"The prophecy states that 'love' will defeat the Sargniss," answered Illyria, either not noticing the alarm on Ellie's face or not caring. "How will this be accomplished?"

"What's she talking about?" asked Tony, confused and alarmed.

"The prophecy," answered Illyria, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know," answered Tony peevishly. "The 'prophecy' says though that Ellie and Angel are going to beat the demons. It mentions them. It doesn't talk about love. It says: 'Ellie and Angel will defeat the Sargniss.' I know what I'm talking about."

Before Ellie could jump in, Illyria responded, "Clearly you do not. The prophecy does not mention 'Ellie' or Angel by name. The prophecy states: 'The ensouled vampire striving for redemption will join the thrice-dead Slayer to defeat the Clan of Blood and only through their true love can they be victorious.'"

"It doesn't say that," argued Tony. Turning to Ellie, anguish etched on his face, "Does it?" Ellie tried to look him in the face, but failed. Angel just stared at the wall, unable to look in Tony's direction. Angel knew how badly it had hurt him when he had found out Buffy was married; he could only imagine how painful it would be for Tony to hear that prophecy. Although Tony was his rival, he didn't want to see the man suffer. It wouldn't give him any joy; he was over that. "Well, somebody answer me!" shouted Tony when he saw that neither Ellie nor Angel would make eye contact with him.

Mustering her courage, Ellie let out a pain-filled sigh and said in a small voice, "It's what Illyria said. The whole prophecy is that only through 'our true love' can Angel and I defeat the Sargniss." Seeing Tony begin to turn away, Ellie was quick to add, "But we don't even know what that means. Prophecies are always ridiculously vague. It could mean anything."

"I think it's pretty clear," said Tony caustically. "You and your ex share a 'true love.' What's unclear about that?"

"Tony, can we talk outside?" asked Ellie, near tears … again. She liked to consider herself a strong, modern woman, but there was something about her relationships that just always made her cry. Although, she had to admit, these past few days were probably the first time Tony had made her cry in earnest. Before it had always been stupid concerns, like when he accidentally slammed the car door on her thumb.

"What's there to talk about?" he demanded.

"Tony," she pleaded, appealing to his better self.

"Fine," he said, walking out the motel room without waiting to see if Ellie was following him or not. Ellie walked out of the room a beat later, looking at the ground, unable to make eye contact with anyone.

At first Ellie didn't see Tony anywhere and was afraid he had left. She blinked epileptically, trying to keep the tears from her eyes. Then she saw him. He was sitting in the backseat of his SUV, waiting for her and looking extremely pissed off.

She slid into the backseat with him and sat back, eyes closed. What should she say to him? What could she say to him? She had lied to him—more than once. She had kept her true self hidden from him for their entire marriage. And now, he had incontrovertible proof that she loved another man. What could she say?

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, me too," he said testily, not giving her any leeway.

"Tony, it's not what it looks like."

"Really? Because it looks like you love Angel. Can you deny that? Are you going to sit here and lie to me even more and tell me you don't love him?"

"No. I can't. I do love him. I will always love him."

Tony's shoulders slumped; although he had known Ellie would say that, he had truly been hoping she would deny it. Sometimes the lies were better, nicer.

And then he heard her say, "But I love you, too."

"How can that be?" he asked, not angry, just resigned.

"Tony, can I tell you a story?" she asked. "It isn't really a fun story—not for me to tell or for you to hear—but you need to hear it. And … and you can't interrupt me. If you do, I may not be able to finish telling you everything. I just need to get it out."

"OK," agreed Tony. He knew he wouldn't want to hear what she had to say, but he knew that he had to. "Go."

Ellie took a deep breath. "I was sixteen when I met Angel. It was a really hard time for me. I had just moved to a new town, midway through sophomore year. I had been kicked out of my old high school because of the slaying. I was so tired of it, so done. I wanted nothing more than to just retire and call it quits. But, wouldn't you know it, I had moved to the Hellmouth, a center of mystical activity. But, I made friends, and that was great. And I met Angel." Here she took a deep breath and then allowed herself a small smile as she remembered their meeting in that dark alley when he had warned her about the Harvest. "He was dark and mysterious and really good looking. I was entirely enamored of him. At that point in my life, all I wanted was a nice, normal boyfriend. It wasn't going to happen. I tried. So, there was Angel. He was pretty close.

"At first I didn't even know he was vampire. I was horrified when I found out. We kissed and he vamped and I screamed. But we worked through it. We did. I decided that I didn't care. And there was something so angsty and attractive about us being together—so 'Romeo and Juliet.' A vampire in love with a vampire slayer. Sometimes I think I loved the notion as much as I loved him.

"But then things got hard. I loved him so much and I had all these plans for us and then it all went wrong. It's funny, they always say, 'Don't have sex in high school. You'll regret it.' I regretted it big time. I lost my virginity to him on my seventeenth birthday. The thing is: The curse that gave him his soul, it had a loophole, a really terrible clause. We had sex and he lost his soul. True happiness, that's the ticket. He lost his soul and he became a monster." Ellie's voice broke a bit and she had to take several steadying breaths. Tony kept silent, giving her the time she needed. "He stalked me and drew creepy pictures of me and he killed Willow's fish. And he killed Ms. Calendar. She worked at my school and … she was part of my group. She was a technopagan and she had been trying to help when he killed her. He broke her neck and left her for my Watcher to find. It was cruel and painful and … I don't know. I can't even describe it. I've never been great with words," she said, chuckling slightly in a self-deprecating manner.

"He tried to end the world and he had Kendra killed and it was all my fault." She started crying again and there was another long pause. "I killed him. I had to. I loved him and I sent him to Hell. Right before I killed him, the soul restoration spell worked and, for a brief moment, he was Angel again. The monster he had been for the past few months was gone and the man I loved was back. He didn't remember any of it. He … he was so sweet. So, I kissed him one last time, I told him I loved him, I told him to close his eyes, and then I killed him. I ran him through with a sword. I will never forget the look on his face when I did that. I still dream about it sometimes. He looked betrayed."

Without even thinking about it, Tony reached over and wiped a tear off of Ellie's face. For the first time since beginning her speech, she looked at Tony and smiled at him, hiccupping slightly from crying.

She steadied herself and continued. "I freaked out. I ran away and spent a summer in LA, just pretending I was someone else, someone new, someone who had never been in love. I eventually realized—for what must have been the twentieth time—that I couldn't run away from my responsibilities. I came back and started up the slaying again. But he came back, a few months later. We don't know how or why, but he did. Time moves differently in other dimensions though; he was in Hell for hundreds of years. He was feral when he came back, but I still loved him so I nursed him back to health.

"We tried to make it work; we did. But, eventually, he realized that we couldn't. Yeah," she said, smiling at Tony, "he realized it. I was still trying so hard and refusing to see what was right in front of me. He wanted me to have a normal life—to fall in love, to get married, to have kids. What we have—he wanted that for me. And I love him for that." Ellie turned in the seat to face Tony and took his hands in her own smaller ones. "I do love him. I will always love him. But I love you, too. I want to be with you now, not him. I want to be married to you and have your kids some day and grow old together. Angel and I will never have that and we both know it. And don't think for one second that you're a consolation prize. I chose you, Tony. I could have stayed with Angel. After he left, we spent years apart, but then, when I was twenty-two, I could have chosen to stay with him. I didn't. We love each other, but it's over. Do Angel and I have 'true love'? Yes. Do we also? Yes. Going through everything I've been through, I've learned that soul-mates don't exist. There is more than one person out there for everyone and it doesn't mean that, if you've loved once, you can never love again. Angel and I have a really complicated past, but that's what it is: the past." She stopped talking and looked at Tony, waiting for a response. When she saw that he was still respecting her moratorium on conversation, she said, "OK?"

Tony nodded his head a few times as he tried to absorb everything she had just said. Finally, he asked, "Does he … does Angel know it's in the past?"

"Yes," said Ellie, then, "I don't know. I think so. I know he's had girlfriends."

"But he kissed you; Gibbs saw it," persisted Tony.

Ellie chuckled. "You know, I had this same conversation a while ago with a boyfriend after he saw me and Angel kiss. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him: It was a hello. It doesn't mean we're getting back together or anything. You and me, Tony, we're solid on my end."

After taking a leaf out of Ellie's book and taking a few deep breaths, Tony said, "mine too," before pulling Ellie into his arms and kissing her passionately. All the relief and love and comfort just pulled together, making it one of their best-ever kisses.

After a few moments, Tony pulled away and said, "We should get back inside."

"Yeah," said Ellie a little breathlessly. "Let's go."

x TBC x

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