Disclaimer: I do not own HxH.
The Origin of Spiders
Chapter Three: Pakunoda
Pakunoda has read thousand memories of others yet she never examines her own until now. She is dying – she is sure of it this time because she chooses to. When her memories flash through her mind in those last few seconds of her life, the memories she had buried so deep she thought it was lost somehow surface again, as vivid as if it just happened yesterday.
She remembers how her mother died. Her mother had died young, only twenty three years old when she found her mother's dead body on the couch - overdose with drugs. She remembers the rats were all over her mother's body and all she could do was to stand and stare. She had even forgotten to scream.
She remembers her mother's face. Even when that woman was alive, she was always pale and her eyes often look pass her like she was made of glass. The only way that Pakunoda could get her attention was to hide her mother's needles. It would send her mother into frenzy and chased her around the shack like a possessed woman. And in a way, she was (by drugs).
She remembers the one and only time she ever felt love from her mother.
Her mother was putting on heavy make up, preparing herself before she went out and seduced men on the street.
"How do I look?" her mother suddenly turned and asked her.
The fact that her mother actually acknowledged her existence for once overwhelmed her. She was stunned for a few seconds before she could answer.
"You look great, mom." She lied but her intention was sincere. If it meant it would earn a smile from her mother, she would do anything. Anything.
Her mother smiled and patted some powder on her nose.
She remembers the day she first discovered her power. She was seven and orphaned that year. She was too young to fully comprehend her power but old enough to know that she should keep it to herself about her discovery. The adults couldn't be trusted and the children talked too much.
She knew everyone's secret but she couldn't tell anyone her secret. It was intoxicating at first but it slowly became a burden to her. All she could see was the past. She couldn't look beyond the present and foresee the future. She was lost and confused. Sometimes she wished she was never born.
Last but not least, she remembers him – a boy who sees the future.
He had found her on top of a roof, ready to jump off, to end her short and meaningless life.
He didn't stop her, didn't persuade her to give up that idea. He just sat down on the edge of building and said, "Don't mind me. I'm just here to enjoy the sunset."
Strangely, she didn't jump. She ended up sitting besides that stranger and watched sunset with him. It was a spectacular view, just as he promised. The golden ray of sunset framed his striking features and Pakunoda thought he looked terribly handsome. She looked away to hide her blush.
"Are you still going to jump?" He suddenly asked.
She lowered her eyes.
"No."
"I thought so." He smiled.
Suddenly, she didn't feel like jumping off the building anymore. She felt like digging a hole and hide herself from his sight instead.
"There is no shame in wanting to live."
For the first time in her life, Pakunoda felt like she was being read like an open book.
"I'm Kuroro. And you?"
"Pakunoda."
She finally remembers now, the reason she lived that day till this very last second.
He is safe now.
With that, Pakunoda dies with a content smile.
A/N: I do felt sorry for Pakunoda, for her to die in the series and in the end, Kuroro didn't even look at her. If her mother's dying scene seemed familiar, it is because it was taken from a movie, The Protégé. That rat eating corpse scene was poignant and I thought it fits this chapter. As always, any comments are welcomed.