Gus stared wide eyed at the baby on the porch.
"Shawn… do you think…?"
"No!" Shawn replied quickly and fiercely. "There's no way Jules could have hid a pregnancy from me."
"I'm not talking about Jules, Shawn. I'm taking about Abigail. You guys have been broken up for a year now… add it up."
"This baby is to young!" he protested, his alarm raising along with his voice. The baby squirmed in its car seat, rain drops spattering on its forehead.
"No its not," Gus replied. He bent over an gabbed the car seat, pulling it inside. He un-strapped the baby then sat back and stared at him. Shawn, busy doing math, realized with horror, there was a possibility. He looked at the baby, then looked at Gus.
"What do we do with it?" He asked eventually.
"I honestly don't know…" Gus replied, shrugging. Just then the baby stirred, and blinked open his eyes. He looked from Gus, to Shawn, and cracked the biggest, toothless baby smile any of them had ever seen.
"Awwww…" Shawn murmured as he gazed at the giggling baby. Gus smiled and waved at him. The baby laughed then reached out a short chubby arm to Gus.
"Pick him up, Gus." Shawn nudged his best friend.
Gus actually listened, and picked up the bundle. He baby laughed and Gus beamed as he bounced it lightly on his knee. Suddenly, the babies face contorted in discomfort, and a white stream of baby puke spewed into Gus's jeans. Gus glared at the baby, who was staring in shock at the white stain on the other mans jeans.
"Take him," Gus said, pushing the kid off on Shawn.
"Hey, I don't want Pukey." Shawn protested, but reached out and took the baby anyway. As soon as the kid touched Shawn, he started screaming. Gus's hands clapped over his ears and Shawn flinched. The baby screamed at the top of its baby lungs, howling and crying.
"GUS! HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?! TURN IT OFF!" Shawn yelled over the babies wailing.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW, SHAWN! BABIES DON'T HAVE OFF SWITCHES, AT LEAST I DON'T THINK SO!" Gus screamed back, hands still over his ears.
"TAKE IT!" he yelled, pushing the baby off on Gus again.
As soon as Gus touched the baby, it stopped screaming. Gus keeping the baby at arms length, and Shawn stared, confused.
"Okay, rule one. No one other than you, picks up that baby."
XXxXxXxXxXx
Shawn sat in the chair of the station, cradling the baby in his arms. The child was asleep, curled into Shawn's stomach. Gus walked over and sat down next to him, eating a Snickers bar.
"Any news?" Gus asked, voice thick.
"No," Shawn grumbled, not looking up from to babies face. He fidgeted in the chair. He really had to pee, but he couldn't take the kid in with him. And he really didn't want him to wake up again.
"Gus hold him," Shawn said, handing Gus the bundle. He got up and was walking toward the bathroom, when he heard Jules.
"Shawn, wait!"
He turned and saw her carrying a folder in her hands.
"What are the results?" he demanded.
"The baby is related to you." she announced, not taking her eyes off his face.
He sucked in he breath and felt his knees go weak and he got a bit lightheaded. He managed to croak, "How?"
Jules took a deep breath and handed him the folder. She looked down and shook her head, "I think you should read it, Shawn. You will be shocked."
He took the folder an thought he was going to pass out. He opened it and read the first page, eyes growing wide.
"My nephew. My sisters son." he said out loud. Gus choked on part of the candy.
Shawn: wow! This is getting good!
Gus: you have a sister?!
Shawn: hey, man, this is new to me too!
Gus: I wonder if shes hot…
Shawn: what?
Gus: Nothing!
Me: Okay, that's enough of that! Who owns Psych, guys?
Shawn: Not you!
Gus: Steve Franks!