Chapter 20

The brief moments he slept were disturbed by the dream. This time the kids were watching him make love to her, watching him kill her. He dreamt it over and over until he finally got up and stayed up.

Katie's insight ignited a firestorm in his brain. He cleaned up the study, reorganized all the material, and went back through it all, with Katie's words in mind.

She was right. In her sick, perverted way, Nicole Wallace was in love with him. She loved him both as a father figure and as a potential mate. Katie had found the thing he was missing. He'd written it off, thinking her incapable of love, thinking she reappeared for the fun of the game, the thrill of a little adventure now and then. But there was more.

As the images from the dream attacked him once more, he realized that Katie already knew. In the same way she was watching him with Nicole in the dream, she already knew the details of his relationship with Nicole in real life. He scrubbed his hand over his whiskers. He felt dirty.

Nicole wanted to meet him Thursday night in the city. She'd picked out a spot in Times Square.

Alex was staying with Katie again today. Once Nicole found out Andy was still alive, she could retaliate against Katie. He and Alex both were afraid for their daughter's safety. The Logans were sticking close to Andy, as well. She might come finish the job herself.

When Bobby thought about his impending meeting with Wallace, he knew what he had to do. The thought sickened him. He desperately needed to talk to Alex about it, but she was nearly three hours away in Connecticut, and this wasn't something he could talk about over the phone.

Alex brought Katie home with her on Wednesday night. After a tearful apology between all parties, the Goren family was at peace again. Thursday morning, Katie went to spend the day with the Logans so Bobby and Alex could have time to talk.

She was cleaning the kitchen counter when he walked in behind her and put his arms around her. Alex left the sponge on the marble countertop and turned, kissing his lips. He kissed her hard, some kind of desperation in his approach.

They split apart, pausing to kiss again and again before he finally stood back, holding both of her hands in his. She searched his face. "What, Bobby?"

"I have to see her tonight."

Alex nodded.

"Katie was right, Alex. She has Nicole figured out." And me, he neglected to add.

"You think she's in love with you."

"I know what I have to do, Alex. But I can't do it… without your permission."

Alex knew without him speaking the words. She looked him straight in the eye. "You do what you have to do to get rid of Nicole once and for all, Bobby. You do whatever it takes."

Bobby was in all black. It looked handsome, but it was a kind of hidden message for him. He was mourning the loss of the life he'd had with his wife. Nicole would never know the toll this evening would take on him.

The night club was full of energy. As far as his safety was concerned, he was counting on her love for him to keep him safe. If she came planning to kill him, in these crowds, with the lights strobing off and on from pitch black, she could kill him with a syringe with no effort at all. And she would have the proximity, tonight, to do it, too.

He sat at a table, looking out over the room and swallowed hard when he saw her approaching. "Thank you, Nicole," was the first thing he said. He didn't elaborate. The thanks was for an abundance of things: not killing his daughter, giving him the opportunity to try again…

"You're welcome, Bobby." She eyed him with pleasure.

"I… I owe you an apology," he began.

"Oh, Bobby, that's simply not necessary. I do know how to forgive, you know."

He glanced around at the crowd while she settled in across from him. "I guess I… I guess I was in denial about myself. I mean, you were right about me. I am insecure."

She offered him a compassionate smile.

"And if I'm really honest, life with Alex hasn't been… all I ever wanted it to be." Bobby chuckled to himself. "'The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,' after all."

"Oh my. You're quoting Thoreau."

He looked at her now. "I thought you were dead, Nicole. They found your heart, after all. And then you showed up and…" He glanced around again, then gave her a shy smile as he said, "I've been having dreams… about us."

She smiled. "You can't expect me to believe that you forgive me."

Bobby shook his head. "No. I can't forgive the things I know. But I can't deny my heart, either. There's something about you, Nicole. You've always kept me up at night." He drummed his fingers on the table as he glanced around the room again. "I've been going back through the files. We never had solid proof." He shrugged and shook his head. "I could convince myself I was wrong."

"And Frank?"

"Someone killed him. I don't know it was you." Bobby shifted in the seat and leaned over to her. "I'm older now, Nicole. I know," he laughed, "I know I'm on the tail end of this roller coaster ride. Time to take a risk, take a chance." His energy was up now, and he was nearly bouncing as he spoke. "'After all, a little danger keeps you on your toes.'"

She knew he was quoting her, and she was flattered. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "These dreams you have… I suppose I'm sitting around knitting while you're saving the world?"

He gave her an embarrassed grin. Bobby looked away and mustered all the strength he had. When he turned back to her, there was something in his eyes she'd never been privileged to see before. "No, Nicole," he said, in a throaty voice. "You're definitely not… knitting." He glanced down at her bosom before he looked away.

She was pleased with this revelation. She removed her sweater and saw him watching her from his peripheral vision. She smoothed her shirt back down, touching her own breasts in the process. Goren twitched.

He jerked his head at the dance floor. "Wanna dance?" he asked her.

Her smile grew, and she stood, allowing him to take her hand. "I remember last time you held my hand, Bobby. It's so much nicer this way, isn't it?"

As they danced, he drew her body in closer and closer to his own, until he could feel her brushing against his groin. Bobby was overwhelmed with revulsion. He shoved his true emotions from his mind and forced himself to only think about the physical sensations. Without interference from his mind, his body began to respond.

Nicole was beside herself with joy. She pressed her body close to his and put the tips of her fingers into the hair just above his neck.

Bobby leaned down and kissed her.