Let Love Lie
Chapter 13 – The Drunken Night
BPOV
Once school started up again the months seemed to fly by. I spent most of my time holed up in my apartment or at work. Forget a social life outside of the gang. And I never—never—hung out with Edward.
"What makes you think I want to go out with him?" I ask Alice through the phone.
"Because you haven't been on a date in almost a year!" she argues.
"Don't you think there's a method to my madness?"
"And what is that?"
"I don't want to get hurt again. Edward really hurt me, Al. You know this. Put yourself in my shoes. What would you do?"
"I wouldn't let myself dwell on the past like you are. And don't tell me your not, because I know you."
"Fine, one date," I grumble. She squeals in excitement.
EPOV
"A date?" I groan. "Al, I don't want to date."
"Edward come on, you have to move on," she insists. "It's been almost a year now."
"No," I shake my head, although she can't see it through the phone.
"Just for drinks. You don't even have to see her afterwards. Please," she begs.
"Why are you trying to get me on this date so bad?" I sigh.
"Because I know you and I know that you don't do anything besides work and mope."
"I don't mope," I scoff. "I hang out with the guys most of the time," I shrug. She huffs but doesn't say anything. I can tell she's pouting. "Ugh, fine, Alice. One date."
"Thank you!" she squeals before hanging up.
I haven't had an actual date since Bella. I don't count Jess to be a date. That was a disaster within itself.
We walk into my apartment and I shut behind us.
"So," Jess purrs as she walks over to me. She drapes her arms around my neck and fingers the bottom strands of my hair. "What should we do now?"
I'm so not in the mood for sex. Jess is sexy as hell but she's not Bella.
When her lips attach to mine I follow her movements. I have been longing for some form of physical contact since Bella and I separated. Granted, the physical contact I want is from the brown-eyed beauty I'm in love with.
All I can think about is Bella. Her brown eyes that I get lost in. Her soft, full lips I always want to have against my own. Her long—well, not so long anymore—hair that I can't help but weave my fingers in. Her legs that seem to go on for miles.
"Bella? Bella?" Jess asked angrily and pulls away.
"Uh," I gulp dumbly. Did I really just say Bella's name?
"Fuck you!" she screeches and shoves me. "If you want Bella so much then don't try getting with me!" What? She was all over me. She storms past me and out of my apartment. "Well if it isn't Bella?" she remarks snidely. I walk out to make sure nothing arises from Jess' rude encounter. I see Jess stomping down the hall in her heels before my eyes settle on Bella. She looks back at me before quickly going into her apartment. I walk back into mine and slam the door.
BPOV
Friday comes quicker than I want. I am dreading this date tonight, but I'm humoring Alice. She doesn't know how not to meddle in people's lives.
I pace back and forth in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear. I finally decide on a nice pair of jeans and a deep blue frilly blouse. I pull the front few strands of my hair on top of my head and create a small poof. I slid on a pair of ballet flats before grabbing my purse and walking down to my truck.
I drive down to a small Italian bistro to meet my date. I walk in and the hostess directs me to a table where a handsome man sits. He stands when he sees me arrive, towering over me by a good six inches, and holds his hand out.
"Hello, I'm Colin," he introduces with a slight British accent.
"Bella," I smile and take his hand. He pulls my chair out for me before sitting in his own again.
"How do you know Alice?" he asks.
"We met through her brother," I answer vaguely. "And you?"
"I work with her." I nod.
"Hi guys, my name is Quil. What can I get you to drink?" a waiter walks up. Colin looks at me.
"Iced tea, please," I smile.
"Water," Colin orders. Quil walks away.
"So, Bella, what brings you to Seattle?"
"Work and a change of scenery," I smile. Quil comes back with our drinks and takes our orders. I get the mushroom ravioli and Colin gets the veal parmesan. I hand Quil my menu and see bronze hair behind him. I gulp and look around Quil.
Edward and a woman are standing at the hostess desk. She starts leading them over towards us. I turn my head and try covering the side of my face with my hand.
"Is something wrong?" Colin asks.
"Just someone I know," I reply with an apologetic smile.
"Bella?" I hear the familiar velvety voice.
"Edward," I greet with a reluctant smile.
"You're on a date?"
"Yes, Edward, this is Colin. Colin, this is Edward." Colin extends his hand but Edward doesn't pay any attention to him.
"Sir," the hostess calls Edward's attention. "Here's your table," she motions to the booth right behind me. Great. I let out an angry sigh as Edward sits right behind me.
"You just had to pick this restaurant," I whisper angrily to him.
"I didn't make the reservations," he whispers back.
"So, Colin," I smile as I address him. "What exactly do you do for a living?"
Colin starts going into a long, descriptive story of how he struggled through college and to make it big in his career in fashion.
"He sounds like a keeper," Edward whispers to me.
"You're neglecting your date," I hiss.
"Like you're neglecting yours?" he counters.
"Leave me alone."
"Pardon?" Colin asks.
"What?" I question, turning my full attention to him while Edward snickers and his date rambles on.
"I thought you said something," Colin says.
"No," I shake my head.
"Oh, okay," he says before launching into his story again. I tune out and listen to Edward's date. I realize she is talking about her manicure.
"Going for the airheads, are we?" I ask Edward.
"You don't know anything about her," he hisses at me.
"She's talking about her damned nails."
"And Cameron's talking about fashion. Going for a guy that would be more interested in me than you?"
"Collin, happens to be smart and down to earth," I defend my date.
"Are you even interested in this guy?"
"Why does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't," he spits out in a whisper.
"I hope your date doesn't give you any infections," I say.
"So mature," he grumbles.
"Bella did you hear me?" Colin asks. Oh shit.
"Sorry, I spaced out. What'd you say?" I ask while Edward snickers behind me.
"I asked what a pretty woman like you is doing without a guy in your life?"
"I have three guys in my life actually, but they're family. And my friend Jake has been more than enough to keep me company. The last guy I dated kind of did a number on me," I shrug. Colin nods before going into another lengthy story, this time about his last girlfriend.
"You're kind of quiet over there. Did you finally stop neglecting your date?"
"Maybe you should stop talking to me, Bella."
"So, Eddie," Edward's date muses in a high-pitched, nasally voice. I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "How are you still single?" My body tenses in anticipation for his answer.
"Uh," he chuckles nervously and I don't have to look to know he's running his hand through his hair. "I haven't really wanted a relationship since my last one ended," he explains. "It really did a number on me," he uses my words. I feel myself getting angry at his explanation. He's the one that caused us to break up so he shouldn't be using that excuse. It's his damn fault.
"That's terrible," his date responds sympathetically.
"Yeah, but then I realized, if she can go on other dates, so can I," he says, no doubt flashing his signature smile.
"If she couldn't see how great you are, then she isn't worth your time."
"Yeah, I guess not," he mumbles. I sit there dumbfounded as Colin rambles on around his food. I don't even know what he's talking about anymore. I stab a ravioli and put it in my mouth, slowly chewing. My appetite is long gone but I don't want Colin to think I'm rude.
"What do you think, Bella?" Colin asks.
"Sorry?" I ask for clarification.
"What do you think about my idea for the clothing design?"
"Oh, I like it," I nod and smile although I wasn't paying attention to what his clothing design was.
"So you like orange shirts with blue and green stripes?" he quirks an eyebrow. I hear Edward snicker behind me. I look down at the table, knowing I was caught not paying attention. "Look, Bella, if you didn't want this date then why did you agree to it?"
"I'm sorry, Colin. I shouldn't have agreed. I should go," I say as I pull a twenty out of my wallet and place it on the table. I grab my coat and make my way to the door. By the time I'm outside tears are spilling out of my eyes. I get in my truck and press Alice's speed dial number.
"It's kind of early for your date to be over," she muses when she answers.
"I'm swear to god, Alice, I hate you," I cry.
"Bell? What's going on?"
"He was there," I sob. "Edward. He sat in the booth behind me and I was paying too much attention to the conversation he was having with his date and I totally ignored Colin. And now I'm humiliated and I feel like I just took two giant steps backwards."
"Bella, I'm so sorry," she whispers.
"Yeah I know," I sniffle. I hang up the phone and go to start the engine. My passenger side door opens and Edward gets in.
"Don't you have a date?" I ask bitterly.
"Yeah, but I wanted to see if you were okay," he says softly.
"I'm not worth your time, remember? Go back to your date and leave me the hell alone."
"Bella," he starts but I cut him off.
"Please, just get out," I whisper. He sighs but gets out of the truck. I start up the engine and drive back to the apartment.
When I get home I pull on sweatpants and a tank top, pull my hair into a messy bun on top of my head, order Chinese and sit and watch chick flicks for the rest of the night.
XOXO
"Bella!" Alice pounds on my door. "Open the damned door!" I get up off the couch and cover my ears as I trudge over to the front door, unlock the deadbolt and chain, and pull the door open.
"Finally," she huffs. "It's about time! We're running on a schedule and," she stops short when she catches a glimpse of my appearance. "What happened to you?"
"Come on in," I say in a hoarse voice. My head is killing me.
"Are you going to answer my question?" she asks and locks the door behind her.
"I'm forgetting," I shrug and feel my lip quiver.
"Forgetting?" she repeats.
"What it feels like to be loved," I whimper. "What it feels like to be in Edward's arms and how his lips feel against mine."
"Is this why you're wearing one of his shirts?" I look down at the baggy gray V-neck I'm wearing.
"What brought all this on?" she asks as she starts picking up the liquor bottle and empty Chinese take-out containers that have been accumulating. "And if you don't fit into your dress today from all this junk I'm going to kick your ass."
"I ran into Edward yesterday," I shrug.
"That's it?"
"Sit down, I'll tell you."
I walk into the building after getting home from Alice's bachelorette party. I search through my clutch trying to find my key when I run into a hard body. I crash to the ground with a groan.
"Shit, Bells, are you okay?" Edward asks. I close my eyes and just lie on the floor not wanting to move. "Sweetheart," he chuckles, "close your legs." My cheeks turn pink as I put my legs together.
"I'm not your sweetheart," I grumble.
"Do you want some help up?" he asks as he crouches down next to me. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling.
"Is there any other possible way I could humiliate myself between here and my door?" I question.
"Considering it's you, yes," he smiles. I want to smile. I wish I would smile. But I don't. Instead, I burst into tears. It could be from the alcohol I consumed tonight or I could just be losing my mind. Either way, I humiliated myself a second time. I kick off the damned heels I'm wearing before sitting up. Edward goes to rub my back but that only makes my crying worse.
"Are you okay?" he asks. I turn my head to look at him and his eyes are the size of saucers, his face creating the classic look of a deer in headlights. I shake my head and make my way to get up. Edward helps me before grabbing my shoes for me.
"Thanks," I sniffle. I trudge away from him and finally unlock my door. Once inside I grab leftover Chinese food from last night and a bottle of my best friend, Jack.
"Bell," Alice smiles sympathetically. "If you want, you don't have to dance with him today. I could switch you and Rose."
"No, Rose is your M.O.H. and I can't take that from her. She earned that spot," I smile. "Besides, I'm not going to let what's happening between Edward and me ruin your wedding." Alice beams at me before ushering me off the couch and into the bathroom. She tosses me a towel and I quickly shower.
Once I'm out of the shower I'm in a pair of jeans, a tank top and a zip up hoodie. Alice nearly pushes me out the door so we can get back on schedule. Unlucky for me, we run into Edward.
"Good morning ladies," he says as he sips his Starbucks coffee. He's carrying a garment bag that probably has his suit in it.
"Morning," Alice chirps. "Don't be late!" she chastises.
"Don't worry, Al, I'll be there," he chuckles. Edward and I exchange a glance before I quickly avert my eyes. Alice and I walk out to her Porsche.
XOXO
At the church Rose, Alice and I do each other's make-up. We help Alice into her gown and tie up the back for her. Once Alice is ready we get in our own dresses. Mine is a mossy green while Rose's is a shade lighter, but our dresses are identical in style.
Our dresses are strapless and go down to just above our knees. They are lavender with a silvery chiffon ribbon tied around the waist.
Mom and Esme come in wearing their dresses.
"Sweetheart, you look so beautiful," Esme grins at Alice. Alice beams at Esme.
"Alice, sweetie," Mom starts. "Bella and I talked and we would like you to wear my mother's sapphire necklace for your something blue."
"Are you sure?" Alice whispers, shocked.
"Yeah," I smile.
"Bella was going to wear it for her wedding," Mom starts.
"But I don't see myself getting married anytime soon," I finish before Mom could make Alice feel bad about wearing it.
"No, I can't possibly wear it," she shakes her head.
"Mary Alice, you're wearing it," I insist. She turns and Mom fastens the necklace around her neck.
"Oh, wow, it's beautiful," Alice says in awe, fingering the shiny stone. Carlisle comes into the room.
"Let's get this show on the road," he smiles. Alice squeals excitedly and grabs Carlisle's arm. We all walk out and line up with our bouquets. Once the music plays I walk through the doors first. I smile at Jasper and Emmett before sneaking a glance at Edward. He's already looking at me with his mouth slightly agape. I blush and avert my eyes from his gaze. I stand in my place a few feet away from the altar and watch everyone else come down the aisle. After me is Rose, then Riley and the two flower girls. The music changes, the crowd stands, and Alice starts walking down the aisle.
Carlisle places Alice's hand in Jasper's and pats him on the shoulder before going to sit by Esme. I take a glimpse at the necklace she's wearing and feel the pain of knowing that I found the man I'm going to love forever but I'm not going to marry. Without him, the image of me being married doesn't exist.
The necklace looks beautiful on Alice though. The small deep blue stone contrasts with her pale skin, competing to be more beautiful.
"Jasper, you may kiss your bride," the pastor says with a smile. Everyone claps as Jasper and Alice share their first kiss as a married couple. When they pull apart the music starts playing again and they make their way down the aisle. Following them are Rose and Emmett, arms linked. I walk over to the aisle and am met by Edward. He offers his arm and I hold onto his bicep. I try ignoring the feeling of being close to him but he's clouding my mind. Once we're out into the hall I drop my hand and take a step away from him. If he notices the space I put between us he doesn't acknowledge it.
I walk over to Jasper and hug him.
"Congrats," I smile when he wraps his arms around me.
"Thanks, Bell," he grins and pulls back. Alice's tiny arms wrap around me from behind.
"We're sisters," she grins. I smile and loosen her arms so I can turn and hug her properly.
"Sisters," I echo with a grin. I let go of her and Edward immediately pulls her into his arms. I walk away towards my family.
XOXO
At the reception we all take our seats, with me next to Rose, at the end of the table.
Rose stands and clinks her glass once everyone starts eating.
"I'd like to make a toast," she declares.
"Alice, Jasper, I wish you both a life filled with happiness. I'm not going to lie, marriage can be hard, but I know both of you can work through your problems together and love each other more by the end of the day. To Alice and Jasper," Rose raises her glass. Everyone echoes her and raise their glasses before taking a sip.
After eating Alice and Jasper share their first dance. Rose and I are standing at the open bar watching them.
"What's this I hear you're not getting married?" she asks.
"There's only one guy I would want to marry and that's not happening," I shrug. I take a sip of my champagne.
"So you're just going to stop yourself from being happy?"
"No, I'm stopping myself from settling. I'd rather be unmarried than be married to someone who is a second choice," I reason. "And I'm happy," I argue. I can tell she doesn't believe me.
"Alright, let's have the wedding party come out and dance," the DJ says into the microphone. I shoot back the rest of my champagne before making my way over to Edward. He holds his hand out to me and I take it. I rest my other hand on his shoulder and he rests his on my waist. The song Everything by Michael Bublé started playing.
We dance with an awkward for a moment before Edward sighs.
"I hate that we're uncomfortable like this," he says loud enough for me to hear, but low enough so no one else hears.
"Me too," I confess, keeping my gaze fixed over his shoulder.
"I miss you, Bella." I clench my jaw as I feel tears well up in my eyes.
"Don't," I shake my head. "Not here, not now."
"Then when? We need to talk," he insists.
"Just not now. We're not doing this here." I tilt my head to look at him, feeling my resolve crumbling. His green eyes are red with unshed tears and filled with sorrow. His jaw is clenched making his square jaw even more pronounced.
His eyes capture mine, holding them in his powerful gaze. I can't look away as much as I need to. I can see all the pain that is hidden by his cool façade. The emotions in his eyes match the emotions I feel.
The song ends and I pull away and I drop my arms and step away from him.
"Later," I tell him, not as a goodbye, but as an assurance that I plan on talking to him later.
"Later," he returns with a nod. I walk over to the bar and get a dry martini, needing alcohol after the dance.
"Bella," Dad says as he comes up to the bar. He orders a beer and turns to me. "How are you?"
Dad and I aren't as close as we were a year ago. I used to be the typical "daddy's girl" but that part of me was lost when he lost my trust.
"Fine," I nod before pulling the olive off the toothpick with my teeth. I chew it slowly.
"Your mother misses having you around." I don't say anything for a fear that whatever I say would be snarky. "And I miss you too."
"Now you're sounding like Edward," I say unhappily.
"Bella," he sighs.
"Please, Dad," I plead. "What is with you and Edward? Every time you two get the chance to talk to me my mood deteriorates. Let me enjoy my brother's wedding." I pick up my martini and start walking away. Bitchy, I know, but I didn't want to be in a bad mood on the most important day of Jasper's life. It's not fair to Jasper and Alice if my mood ruins the wedding.
"May I have this dance?" Emmett's voice beckons me accompanied by a tap on my shoulder.
"You may," I smile and turn to face him. He takes my hand and leads me out to the dance floor. He places his free hand on my hip and I place mine on his shoulder. We start moving to the slow beat of the music.
"Rosie's pregnant," he says softly with a smile.
"What?" I ask astonished, and slightly hurt she didn't tell me. Emmett shushes me. "Really?"
"Yeah," he grins. "We've kept it to ourselves for a few weeks but she's going to start showing soon and I wanted to be the one to tell you."
"How far along?"
"She's about two months."
"Wait, she was drinking champagne," I point out questioningly.
"It was sparkling apple juice. The look of champagne but the alcohol consistency of juice," he explains.
"Congratulations," I grin. "You're going to make a great father."
"We want you to be the godmother." A few tears fall from my eyes at his words.
"Are you serious?" I sniffle.
"Of course," he chuckles. "Stop crying, wimp," he jokes and moves his hand from my waist. He wipes my tears away.
"Promise you won't get mad when I spoil your child to no end?"
"Spoil your own child," he laughs.
"I'm not planning on getting married," I sigh. "And I can't raise a child on my own," I shrug. "Hell, I can't conceive a child on my own."
"You can get a donor. And you're more than capable of raising a child yourself. And you always have Rose and me. And I'm sure Jasper would help out."
"I can't burden you guys like that. I'd need a sitter every weekday while I work and you all have your own jobs. I can't afford to hire a sitter anyways."
"Bella, you're thinking too far ahead."
"I'm not having a child, Emmett," I finalize.
"You can spoil my child," he chuckles, giving up. I smile gratefully at him.
As the night progresses I keep refilling my martini until I am blissfully numb. My feelings left after my second refill and in its place is peace. I'm not the kind of drunk that becomes destructive or obnoxious; well, not too obnoxious, that is. By my fourth refill, though, Emmett told the bartender to cut me off.
"That's not fair," I whine, trying not to slur my words.
"You've had enough," he argues lightly. "Besides, everyone is getting ready to head out."
"I'll take her home," Edward offers as he walks over.
"I'll sleep here!" I say in a happy-go-lucky voice, slurring "I'll" and "sleep" together.
"Funny," Emmett quips. "Thanks Edward," he says as he claps a hand on his back. "No more alcohol, you hear me?" he lectures and lightly grabs my chin.
"You made the bartender cut me off, 'member?" I quirk an eyebrow.
"Let me rephrase," he sighs. "No more drinking when you get home."
"Now you're just spoiling my fun," I scoff.
"Goodnight, Bell," Emmett says. "Thanks again, man," he says to Edward before walking off.
"Come on," Edward says as he places his hand on the small of my back.
"Whoa there, keep your hands to yourself," I say and push his hand away. I start walking toward the door but my slight double vision gets the best of me. Edward catches me with his hands on my hips. I don't push him away this time. He leads me to his car. He holds me up while opening the passenger side door. He helps me into the car and buckles my seatbelt for me before getting into the driver's side. He pulls out of the parking lot and starts heading back to the apartments.
"Hey, Speed Racer, slow the fuck down!" I slur and brace my hands on the dashboard. "I'm going to die before I get a hangover!" Edward chuckles under his breath and slows down a little.
"Bella, we're only going forty-five," he assures me.
"I could'a sworn we were goin' about a hundred," I say in awe.
By the time we pull into the parking garage the numbness is starting to wear off and I'm just becoming dizzy. Edward parks and comes around to my side. He opens the door and helps me out. He puts his arm around my waist and I stumble next to him.
We walk into the building where Larry the Doorman greets us. He's been eyeing me since I moved here but has never made a move probably because it's unprofessional, this being his work place and all. Actually, I'm thankful he hasn't because I'm not interested in forty-year-old men with receding hairlines and a small beer belly. I'm twenty-nine and only interested in one man, and one man only, even if there isn't a chance for us again.
I'm getting over the fact that Edward lied. I'm not one to hold grudges for lengthy periods of time. The thing that I can't get over though is the hurt that came from the lies and the betrayal I felt after he told me I could trust him.
"Hey, Larry," Edward greets. I trip in my heels and stumble more into Edward's side. He sighs and brings me to a halt. "Take the shoes off," he instructs. I try bringing a foot up but lose my balance. Thankfully, Edward's arm has a good grip on my waist so I don't fall. Damn we're putting on one hell of a show for Larry.
"Alright, you drunk," Edward chuckles and kneels down in front of me. "Hands on my shoulders." I place my hands on his shoulders feeling like a child. He unhooks both of my shoes and I step out of them, keeping a firm grip on his shoulders. He picks up my shoes before getting up, my hands dropping to my sides. His hand takes its place around my waist again as he starts leading me to the elevator.
"Have a good night you two," Larry calls. The elevator doors close, blocking Larry from our view. Is it just me or are the walls closing in on us? My breathing becomes shallow and the pounding in my head and dizziness get worse.
"Bella?" Edward asks. "Hey, calm down," he says and cups my cheek in his free hand. His cool hand feels good against my hot cheek, even though the simple touch makes my cheek tingle. I hear the ding of the elevator signaling we're at our floor. "Come on," he says as he drops his hand to grab mine. My breathing starts evening out once we're out of the confined space. "What happened?"
"The walls were closing in," I explain.
"You're claustrophobic now too?" he wonders.
"No, you jackass, the walls were really closing in!" I insist. "I saw it with my own eyes!"
"Ah, the pleasures of a drunk Bella," he sighs sarcastically. "Are you going to be okay in your apartment?"
"Yeah, I'll be with my buddies Jack and José," I say. I go to open the door but it's locked.
"You're key?" Edward says, as if it were obvious. That's because it is obvious, you drunk.
"Right," I say. "A key would help, if I had my key with me," I groan. "It's in Alice's car."
"Come on," he sighs and grabs my hand.
"And where are we going?" I ask.
"My apartment?" he says, again, as if it were obvious. Hell, I can't tell left from right at the moment because I'm becoming so dizzy. I pull my hand from Edward's grasp and lean against the wall. "You okay?" he asks.
"Dizzy," I explain. "That sixth martini wasn't a good idea."
"Neither was the second," Edward mutters. "But I've talked to you more tonight than I have in a year," he says. Always the optimistic. "Up you go," he says as he lifts me up with an arm so I'm leaning against his shoulder, dangerously close to falling over it and exposing my ass.
"Put me down, Shrek!" I groan.
"Funny." He unlocks his door and carries me through.
"Edward, really, put me down," I say quickly and clamp a hand over my mouth, feeling my dinner coming up to say hello. He puts me down and I dart clumsily to his bathroom. The layout of his apartment is similar to mine so it's not hard to find. I flip the toilet seat up and puke my dinner out. Edward comes in and holds the loose strands of my hair so they don't get bile on them. He rubs my back as I cough up a little more puke. I flush the toilet after my episode and sit back on the tile against the shower door and put my head between my knees. Edward gets up and walks out before returning and running the sink.
Edward's hand sneaks under my chin to lift it up before a cool cloth makes contact with my forehead. My cheeks are without a doubt red and my breath probably smells like ass but he doesn't comment. He wipes away the make-up from my eyes and cheeks before helping me up. He sets the washcloth on the sink and opens the medicine cabinet. He pulls out a new toothbrush and opens it, handing it to me. He puts a glob of toothpaste on it and keeps a hand on the small of my back while I brush my teeth.
"Will you be okay while I go get you something comfier to sleep in?" he asks. I nod, choosing not to talk with a mouthful of toothpaste. He walks out and I look at myself in the mirror. My skin is blotchy and my eyes are bloodshot. I have toothpaste foam coating my lips and my hair has lost its volume and is tangled.
I'm sober enough to realize that I'm staying the night at my ex-boyfriend's house. The same ex-boyfriend I am still madly in love with. The love that confuses me everyday by giving me bipolar feelings about the past: to put it behind me or not to put it behind me.
Edward comes back into the bathroom with a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
"Will this work?" he asks. I hold the loose strands of hair in my free hand before bending towards the sink. I lick my lips before spitting the toothpaste out.
"That's great, thanks," I smile. He sets the clothes on the toilet before walking out, closing the door behind him. I unzip the dress and let it fall to the ground. I unclasp my strapless bra and let it accompany the dress. I slip Edward's shirt over my head, inhaling his familiar, comforting scent. I pull the shorts on and pull the drawstring, tying it securely to my waist.
I scoop up my clothes and stumble out of the bathroom. My vision is still slightly doubled and I walk slowly through the hall so I don't trip over myself.
"Edward?" I call. He comes out of a room behind me and I jump.
"Sorry," he apologizes and holds onto my arm to make sure I don't fall. "Here, let me take those," he says as he motions to the clothes in my arms. I hand them to him and he takes them into the kitchen and folds them, placing them on the counter. "We'll get your keys from Alice tomorrow before they leave," he calls.
"Okay," I call back. I shuffle over to the couch and plop down onto its welcoming cushions.
"The bed's comfier," Edward suggests. "I can take the couch."
"I'm too tired to move," I mumble into the cushion. "And your couch feels like heaven right now." He chuckles and drapes a blanket over me.
"Do you need anything?"
"Darkness." He gets up and shuffles around in the kitchen for about a minute. I hear water running but am too far gone to sleep to figure out why. The last thing I register is the light turning off.
XOXO
I wake up in the morning to the smell of eggs and bacon. I groan and try to bury my head in my pillow farther. I realize I'm not in my bed. I shoot up and instantly regret it when my head pounds in protest.
"Fuck," I whimper as I become dizzy. I clamp my eyes shut and put my head between my knees.
"You okay?" Edward's voice calls.
"Just slowly dying in my head," I reply.
"I left some aspirin on the table for you," he informs me. I pick my head up and spy the bottle of medicine accompanied by water. I pop three pills into my mouth and down the water.
"Do you want some breakfast?" Edward asks as he walks over with two plates filled with bacon, eggs and toast.
"Please," I say. He hands me a plate and a fork before sitting in the chair that's sitting by the couch. "Did I embarrass myself last night?" I ask.
"You confessed your undying love for Larry," he says.
"I didn't!" I groan, placing my face in my palm.
"No, you didn't," he chuckles.
"You asshole!" I whine.
"You didn't embarrass yourself too much," he assures me. "I thought you were about to have a panic attack in the elevator though."
"I haven't had a panic attack since the day James was arrested. What made you think I was going to have one?"
"Well you got that distant look you normally get in your eyes and your breathing was becoming labored," he explains. "I ruled it out to claustrophobia though." I quirk an eyebrow at his assumption. "You claimed the walls were closing in on you. You were super convinced."
"Ugh," I groan and shake my head. He grins and shoves a forkful of eggs in his mouth. "Do you have any ketchup?" I ask. He nods and gets up. He walks into the kitchen to fetch the ketchup. He hands it to me before taking his prior spot.
I smother my eggs and bacon in ketchup before scooping a forkful into my mouth.
"You're disgusting," Edward chuckles.
"It's delicious this way," I defend. We eat our breakfast in silence.
"Can I use your phone?" I ask. He nods and pulls it out of his pocket. He hands it to me. I pull the unlock icon across the screen and a number pad shows up asking for a password. "Password?" I ask.
"Two, three, five, five, two," he mutters sheepishly. I type it in before realizing what it spells.
"Oh," I whisper.
"Yeah, I, uhm, I've been meaning to change it," he scratches the back of his head. That's the last we say about the password.
I dial Alice's number and press the green phone icon. I hold the phone up to my ear and listen to the ringing, trying to ignore the awkwardness that has fallen between Edward and me.
"Hey, Edward, can you tell Bella I have her purse?" she answers, her shrill voice sending pain through my temples.
"It's me, Al," I reply.
"Oh! What are you doing with Edward's phone?" I pull the phone from my ear slightly. Does this girl know how to speak softly?
"I had to stay the night at his place because my key is in my purse."
"I see," she says with a smile in her voice. "How did last night go?"
"Besides for the fact that I can't remember half of it?"
"Serves you right for drinking six martinis," she scolds lightly.
"Can I just come get my purse please?" I sigh.
"Jazz and I are on our way to drop it off. We have to drop Riley off at Edward's anyway. We'll be there in a few," she says before hanging up. I hand Edward's phone back to him. He puts it back in his pocket.
I lean my elbows on my knees and run my hands through my matted hair. I groan and start pulling bobby pins out of it, letting it fall freely around my shoulders.
"Look, Bella," Edward starts but is interrupted by a knock on the door. He sighs and gets up to walk over to the door. When he answers it Riley runs in and over to me.
"Here, Bella," he grins as he hands me my purse.
"Thank you, Sweetie," I smile and ruffle his hair. I get up and walk to retrieve my clothes.
"Bella!" Alice calls. I close my eyes and clench my jaw in hopes the ringing would soon die out in my ears.
"Al, you may want to speak in a lower voice," Edward suggests. I turn to them and smile.
"Hey Al," I say.
"You look terrible," she says bluntly.
"Thanks," I smile sarcastically.
"Anytime," she giggles.
"If you excuse me, I'm going home to shower," I say as I walk towards the door. "Thank you, Edward, for letting me stay here last night." He nods and I walk out. I walk over to my apartment and unlock it before entering.
I walk into the bathroom and start the shower before sitting on the toilet. I rest my elbows on my knees before placing my head in my hands. While the water warms up, I try to grasp what happened last night and this morning. Edward and I were getting along, like we never had a falling out. I sigh and get up before shedding my clothes and stepping into the steaming shower.
I wash all the hairspray from my hair and then wash my body before letting the water run down it. My eyes close and my head drops back as the warm water soothes me.
After a few minutes I turn the water off and step out. I wrap myself in a towel and walk to the living room. I plop onto the couch face first and lie there. My hair wets drips water down my face and on the cushions but I'm too tired to care. The thought of how much more comfortable and welcoming Edward's couch was nags at the back of my mind.
I should have insisted on going back to get my purse last night. Spending the night at Edward's was a terrible, terrible idea—even if I can't remember half the night. What I do remember, though, is how kind and sweet Edward was to me when I haven't been pleasant at all to him in the past year. I have been nothing but bitter towards him whenever we spoke but he still took care of me. He held my hair and rubbed my back while I threw up, gave me clothes to wear and let me sleep on his couch—hell, he even made me breakfast.
A knocking on my door breaks my thoughts. I groan but push myself up with one hand, holding the towel in place with the other. I don't bother picking up my feet as I make my way over to the door. I unlock and open it to see Edward and Riley standing in my doorway. Did I mention I'm only wearing a towel?
"Hi Bella!" Riley smiles. I blush and look at Edward.
"Hi," I say. "Come in," I motion past me. "Just give me a second." I rush off to my bedroom before the blush covering my cheeks has the time to make its way down to my chest. I pull on a bra and panties before putting jeans and a t-shirt on. I walk back out to the living room where Riley is sitting on the damp couch and Edward is standing.
"Rie, honey, the couch is wet," I say as I lift him off it. "Go sit in the chair." I place him on his feet and he runs over to the chair and hoists himself into it.
"Bella, I need a favor," Edward says.
"Yeah?"
"Watch Riley for a few hours? Chief just called and I need to head into the station for a little while."
"Okay," I nod. "No problem."
"Thank you," he says sounding relieved. As if I could deny him. After last night I really do owe him. "I'll be back in a little while, Punk," Edward says as he makes his way for the door.
"Okay," Riley calls back. Once Edward leaves I turn to Riley.
"So, what do you want to do?" I ask.
"Watch a movie," he smiles. I put in A Christmas Story because, well, I don't have many movies that are kid-friendly. I flip the couch cushions over and we lie on the couch. About halfway through the movie Riley falls asleep so I turn it off and decide to nap with him.
"Bella," Edward calls and shakes my shoulder. I grown and snuggle farther into the couch next to Riley. "Bells," he tries again. I sigh and lift my head up, opening my eyes to look at him.
"Yeah?" I breathe out.
"I wanted to let you know I'm taking Riley so you didn't freak out when you woke up."
"Mmkay," I murmur and stuff my face into the couch cushion again. I move my arm from around Riley so Edward can lift him. Riley whines as he gets picked up.
"Come on, let's go to Nana and Papa's," Edward says softly.
"Can Bella come?" he asks.
"That's up to Bella, Punk, she looks kind of tired though."
"Bella, can you come?" Riley asks me. I turn my head to look at his pouty face.
"Yeah, I can come," I sigh and push myself up off the couch reluctantly. We walk over to the door and I grab Riley's bag and car seat that Edward placed there. We walk out and I lock the door before we make our way down to the Volvo. I set the car seat up and Edward places a half-asleep Riley in it. I get in the front seat and buckle myself in before pulling my legs up.
Edward gets in the front and turns the car on. We pull out of the garage and head towards the highway.
"I haven't been to Forks in months," Edward notes.
"Same here," I add. "I try avoiding it at all costs." He stiffens knowing our break up is why I avoid it.
"Why'd you cut your hair?" he asks after about an hour of silence.
"I just needed a change I guess," I shrug. "It's easier to take care of."
The rest of the ride is spent in silence; us both caught up in our own thoughts.
When we get to Carlisle and Esme's I pick a still sleeping Riley up out of the car seat and he rests his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my neck, grabbing a fistful of my hair. Edward grabs the car seat and bag and walks up to the house. I follow him inside and into the kitchen where Carlisle is reading the paper and Esme is working on some interior designing for a client.
"Hey," Edward says softly as we walk in. They both look up from their activities to smile and greet him.
"Oh, Bella, I didn't expect you to be here," Esme says in a slightly confused voice.
"Riley asked me to come," I explain. "I'll show you where you can lay him down," she gets up and walks past me. I look at Edward before following her. She takes me up the stairs, down to the end of the hall and into a light blue room. I lay Riley on a small bed and he sighs in his sleep before rolling on his stomach and putting his thumb in his mouth.
"So, Bella," Esme says as we walk out.
"Yes?"
"How are you feeling after last night?"
"I think I felt worse last night than I did this morning. But Edward helped take care of me," I explain.
"Yes, I know, he took you home," she nods.
"I ended up sleeping in his apartment."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I left my purse in Alice's car so I didn't have my key. Edward offered for me to stay at his." Esme smiles lightly. We walk downstairs to the kitchen.
"You ready to head out, Bells?"
"You just got here," Esme protests.
"I have to work tomorrow, Ma," Edward sighs. "I need to get some stuff done around the apartment."
"Would you mind if we stopped by my parents' for a few minutes?"
"Yeah, no problem." He turns to Esme. "I'll call you later and I'll come visit soon."
"You better. I miss having my children around," she says and hugs him. She pulls me into a hug afterwards. After our farewells we leave to head to Mom and Dad's. The ride is silent.
When we get there Jake's VW Rabbit is parked in the driveway. I smile at the thought of seeing Jake again as we head up to the house. We walk in and I call out for Mom and Dad.
We walk into the living room where they are sitting with Jake.
"Hey," I smile.
"Bella," Jake says as he stands and lifts me in a hug. He puts me down and finally realizes I'm not alone.
"Cullen," he says shortly.
"Black," Edward retorts.
"Alright, boys, tone it down," Mom frowns. She gets up and hugs me. "Hi, Honey, how are you?"
"I'm good, and you?" I ask as she lets me go to hug Edward.
"I'm fine. I'm glad to see your father didn't scare you away for good," she winks.
"It wouldn't be Charlie to scare her away," Jake grumbles next to me. I elbow him and shoot him a glare silently telling him to behave. "What?" Jake scoffs. "Since when are you two on good terms?"
"Jake, stop," I groan.
"I can clearly see I'm not wanted here," Edward says as he starts backing out of the room. My heartbeat quickens in panic as he leaves. I walk after him while Jake protests. He can't leave; I don't want him to. It hasn't even been a day and I'm getting attached to him again.
"Where are you going?" I ask, trying not to sound panicked, and grab his arm to stop him.
"I'm going down to the station to see some of the guys. Call me when you're ready to go."
"You won't leave without me?"
"Why would you even ask that?" he sighs.
"I'm just making sure," I say in a small voice.
"I won't leave without you," he assures me. I let go of his arm and he walks out. I feel anger swell in my chest and stomp back into the living room.
"What the hell's the matter with you?" I jab a finger at Jake's chest.
"You're giving him another chance just like that?" he asks as he snaps his fingers.
"He's worked hard for me to give him another chance," I argue.
"What, did he bat his eyes?"
"Jacob, son, that's enough," Dad intervenes.
"Whatever," he says and storms past me. I cross my arms and pout. The front door slams.
"I've got to admit, Bells, Jacob's got a point," Dad says.
"When we went to Carlisle and Esme's they didn't interrogate us. They welcomed us."
"Look, Bells, we're not interrogating you. We're just concerned."
"With no need. Edward is being a sweetheart."
"He was a sweetheart the whole time you were dating too, Sweetie," Mom reminds. I groan and walk out. I start walking to the police station.
After a ten-minute walk I enter the station and spot Edward. I walk over to him and tap his shoulder. He turns to look at me.
"Hey," he says as he furrows his eyebrows. "I thought I was going to pick you up."
"Look out, Cullen, she might throw her drink at you," an officer cackles. I look at him in disbelief.
"Cut it out, Crowley," Edward snaps. He turns back to me.
"I walked out. I didn't want to be there any longer." And I missed you.
"Okay, well, let's head out then." Edward says goodbye to the officers before leading me out to the Volvo.
About an hour into the silent drive Edward speaks up.
"Look, Bella, I want you to know," he starts and stops to sigh before speaking again, "I don't make a habit out of lying. I hate lying. I'm really sorry."
"I know," I say. "And I can finally say that it's fine. I blew this whole thing out of proportion."
"No, you had every right to be mad and hate me. You spent several months with me while I lied daily."
I look at him and smile, silently showing he was completely forgiven.
Hey everyone!
I hope you liked this chapter! Sorry for taking so long to update! I forgot my charger for my laptop at school and I was going to have it done Friday, but my laptop sadly died...So, anyway, the next update with be as soon as possible!
Reviewers get teasers!
Lots of love,
Nikki