Thank you for the reviews! So sorry for the incredibly late update, school is eating me up. Enjoy!

2D shivered, sitting up on the couch. He couldn't sleep like this. He leaned back, wrapping his blankets around him and staring into the darkness. He closed his eyes to the pure silence. He needed those moments more often.

Moments of sweet, dark silence. When he could be alone with his thoughts. He didn't get enough of them. And there it was. Soft footsteps nearing the room.

He held his breath, thinking it was just Russel going to get a midnight snack. Maybe if he was still enough he wouldn't bother to see if he was awake. To his disappointment, the footsteps came nearer to the living room, away from the kitchen. They didn't sound like Russel's footsteps anyway.. Fuck.

He felt a weight next to him on the couch. It was silent for a while, just the sound of their slow, shallow breaths.

"Figured I could find you here," Murdoc then said softly.

2D didn't turn his head. He just kept staring off into the distance.

"Well, I do sleep here," he then replied drily.

"No, I mean find you like this. Awake."

"I know what you meant."

Uncomfortable silence rang through the room. 2D finally turned his head, squinting to make out Murdoc in the dark.

"What are you doing here?" he then asked boldly.

The bassist sighed. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, since obviously nights have been rough for you."

They spoke in hushed whispers, both terrified that they would wake the others.

"Thanks," 2D breathed after a while.

"Are you okay?" Murdoc asked abruptly, and 2D felt his eyes piercing his own through the dark.

The singer paused, taken by surprise at this sudden question. He then simply shrugged.

"I guess.." he then replied, unsure of himself.

"Really?" Murdoc said sceptically.

"Why the fuck do you care?" 2D snapped then, wishing he would just go away and leave him alone.

"Good question.." Murdoc then muttered.

The awkward tension was becoming too much for 2D.

"We should both get some sleep," he said quietly, hoping the hint would be clear.

Murdoc nodded. "We should."

He lay down on the couch wordlessly, to 2D' s confusion.

"Mind lying down and sharing the blanket, mate?" he then asked casually.

"What the fuck are you doing?" the singer spluttered.

"Going to bed," the bassist answered simply. "You?"

"This isn't your bed!" 2D hissed frustratedly.

"2D, you told me that the nightmares would go away if I was there. I'm here," Murdoc then said softly.

2D stared at Murdoc's dark silhouette, trying to work out if he was being mocked.

"Really?"

Murdoc sighed. "Really, Stu."

2D hesitated for a long while. He then decided it couldn't do much harm and reluctantly lay down next to Murdoc, putting the blanket over both of them. In that moment he was so very thankful that the couch was so big. Still, the bassist somehow managed to be right beside him, some part of their bodies touching the whole time, no matter how much 2D moved.

The singer kept edging away as Murdoc tried to come closer, until finally the singer gave a yelp and fell onto the ground. The two of them froze, praying no one had heard it. When they were finally sure that they were safe, the bassist leaned over the couch, looking down at 2D.

"2D, come on.." he whispered. "Get back up here."

2D sighed begrudgingly before clambering back onto the couch. He lay in silence as Murdoc's arms carefully wrapped around his waist, pulling him gently closer. He didn't curl up into the bassist, but he didn't move away either. He shut his eyes, grateful that it was dark, knowing that the bliss was evidently showing on his face. They both sighed, trying not to let the other notice as they subconsciously moved closer to each other, inhaling each other's scent.

"2D?"

The singer shivered as he felt Murdoc's warm breath on his face. "Yeah?"

"What are your nightmares about?"

2D suppressed a groan. "Stuff."

He could practically feel Murdoc roll his eyes.

"Yeah, but what kind of stuff?" he insisted.

2D started to turn away. "Murdoc.."

The latter pulled 2D back and cupped his chin, their faces inches apart.

"Please."

The singer froze for a moment, trying with all his might not to lean in and close the gap. He took a deep breath, regaining himself. He bit his lip while Murdoc waited patiently for his reply.

"Different things.." he eventually breathed. "Losing people. Losing myself. Dying."

He tensed as he felt a finger softly stroke his cheek.

"I'll make them go away," Murdoc muttered.

2D didn't react. His eyes squeezed shut and he trembled lightly under the touch.

"I'll make the nightmares go away.."

He couldn't take it any more. He threw his arms around the bassist's neck, hiding his face in his chest. The singer clung onto Murdoc tightly, his legs wrapping around his body. Everything about him screamed 'I miss you'. The bassist, rather taken aback, carefully wrapped his arms around 2D, pressing a kiss on the top of his head.

"I fucked things up, didn't I.." he then breathed, sighing ruefully.

"We both did," 2D muttered, his words muffled.

"What would have happened if I hadn't done that? If I hadn't said those things on the radio?" the bassist wondered, more to himself than to 2D.

"I don't know.. do you think we would have gone back to our normal lives again?"

When Murdoc stayed silent, 2D continued.

"Y'know, shagging birds again, fighting every day and shit.. Do you think we would have acted like none of it had happened?"

Murdoc stayed silent a while more. When he finally did speak, however, his words were chosen carefully and uttered slowly.

"I think.. knowing me, I would have tried to. I would have gone to a bar the minute the time was up, and would have come home with at least one broad that same night. I would have been horrible to you in the morning, even more horrible than I already was.. am. I think it would have been a fucking shitty time for both of us, to be honest. I don't know how that would have ended up."

2D stayed silent for a while, pondering over the bassist's words.

"I don't think I could've done that.." he then whispered. "I tried, y'know.. I was so pissed at you and hurt that I tried to act like I didn't give a shit and went and looked for girls.. I don't think anyone bought that."

"I did," Murdoc then said quietly.

2D frowned. "Really?"

"Yeah. It was bloody awful. I honestly thought that you hadn't given a shit all along. It hurt."

The singer exhaled. "You're a fucking idiot."

Murdoc chuckled, a tad of bitterness in his voice. "That I am."

"Just.. Murdoc, those things you said on the radio fucking hurt," 2D said suddenly, his voice breaking slightly.

He could feel the bassist's chest seize up.

"I know.. I just.. I completely panicked. It was like I was turned off and autopilot was on, speaking and acting for me, and I was just watching from afar. I wanted so hard to stop, but I couldn't. Because that's me when I feel vulnerable. I say stupid things and I fuck up and hurt everyone. The night before, when we were sleeping together.. you'd fallen asleep before I had. I just watched you for a while, and I realised that if I didn't end it soon, things were going to start getting complicated very quickly.. the next morning I kissed you because I needed that last kiss. I knew that, somehow, I was going to fuck this all up, and I needed to feel your lips one more time."

Murdoc paused for breath, and 2D didn't breathe a word, afraid that the older man would stop speaking.

"You have no idea how I felt during that radio show. It was like I was being ripped apart, guilt was fucking tearing me up. Still, I managed to keep up the act. No one suspected a thing. And fuck, I felt so horrible afterwards. I still do. Every word I spoke to you was like a fucking dagger. I felt like I didn't even deserve to look at you, let alone speak to you.. And I acted like I had planned it all out, like I didn't give a shit about it all. I was so stupid. I'm sorry."

The singer took a deep, slow breath, then leaned up, running his hands along Murdoc's face. As they had both gotten used to the dark, they were able to make out each other's faces. 2D took some more deep breaths, opening and closing his mouth, trying to say something.

"I forgive you," he finally managed to whisper, and they both stared at each other for a long time, neither of them uttering a word.

2D finally moved forward, ever so slowly, and brushed his lips against Murdoc's.

"I couldn't ever stay angry at you.." he breathed, before closing the gap again.

They kissed slowly, carefully. They were both afraid. Afraid of themselves, of each other, of everything. So they kissed as if one sudden move would destroy everything.

Soft lips moving against each other, calloused fingers softly brushing themselves through blue locks, long, thin fingers stroking a slightly stubbled face.

Slight goosebumps caused by the chill of touching each other and the subtle breeze that wafted through the open window onto their skin. Small sighs in between the kissing, as they tried so hard not to take it a step further. Tightly shut eyes as they both finally succumbed to the bliss of which they knew was long overdue.

Finally, they broke apart, panting slightly and staring at each other.

"This was the feeling I felt that night.." Murdoc then whispered. "The feeling I was so afraid of."

He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss on 2D's forehead. The latter nodded, letting the tips of his fingers trail gently over Murdoc's lips.

"I could never have done without this. Without you. I need you too much.."

Murdoc sighed. "That's bad. You can't just forgive me because you need me.. it's not fair towards yourself."

"I don't care," 2D replied softly.

"We're both very good at doing things that are bad for us, aren't we," the bassist muttered, nuzzling his face in 2D's shoulder.

"Yeah.. let's not think about that right now," the singer said tiredly.

"Let's sleep now.." Murdoc breathed, and 2D nodded wordlessly, wondering vaguely what the morning would bring them.

Thank you very much for reading and having the patience for my slow updates.. Please leave reviews and I'll continue! 3