So sorry at how long this took me to write. I blame writers block and school. I have finally managed to get out some words that I hope you will like.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, only my OCs and this storyline.

Hope you enjoy.

This Life and the Next

There has been a dark cloud hanging over the house for the last few days after I told them of Magnus' fate. No one has spoken much, not even Arthur. I try to make myself busy, making pots and cleaning the house. No one comes to visit me so Aida has taken to wandering around the house. Jasper found a way to climb out the window in the attic and then onto the roof, so he has spent much of his time there lately. People rarely look up so it is safe there for him.

Aida has found me several times, broom in hand, just staring out the window that looks out onto the fields and hills behind the house. I haven't spoken really in days other then maybe a few words, and I haven't smiled. Arthur has tried to cheer me up, the sweet thing, but my heart has been broken and it may never heal. I know I should be strong. I have to look after the others, but I just feel myself slowing down, a great weight upon my shoulders that has never been there before. All of the colour seems to be gone from the world.

Aida seems a bit angry with me sometimes, like she wants to yell at me to pull myself together, but she doesn't. She would tell me that I couldn't go on like this. They need me. I cannot let them down. But she hasn't. She is giving me my space and I feel so alone.

I broke a plate the other day. I've never done that before. It just fell out of my hands and smashed against the floor. Aida came running in to see what had happened. She didn't say anything to me. She just came over and picked up the broken pieces of plate. I wish she would say something but she is taking this almost as hard as I am.

We can't go on like this, not for much longer. We would soon have to move on with our lives. I didn't want to. I needed to, but how? Forgetting Magnus was out of the question.

The how would come in a way I did not expect one sunny morning. In a spontaneous decision I decided to go for a walk. It was a nice day and I couldn't stay inside forever. I wrapped a shawl around me to protect me from the wind. I looked back and up at the roof where Jasper was sitting. I knew Aida was inside with Arthur. I saw her in one of the windows, looking out.

I waved to them to tell them I was going out. I walked out into the field and down the way I had gone many a time. My silver hair is hidden from view though I know that no one was looking. My feet know the path all too well. I've been thinking about going there for a while and now I've finally decided it is time to go. I just need to see it one last time then it is over and I will move on. Easier said then done, I know. But I had to try.

It doesn't take me long to get there. That old fence holds so many memories. I can almost see him sitting there, like he used to, waiting for me. This was our meeting place, every time he came back. It is the place I most connect with him and it is the first step I must take. My fingers find it easily, having traced it so many times. Looking at it you would think of children, naïve. An M and a J engraved in the wood. I carved his initial and he carved mine. The last piece of proof of what this place meant to us. One day this fence will fall and no one will know. Maybe it's better that way.

We do all these things behind the scenes. No one even really knows we exist. At least the officials of Camelot don't have specific names. We may be well known amongst the outcasts. The Blackbird and his Redwing. None of them ever met me but they heard the stories. Before Aida we had done so many things. We were even reckless because we had nothing to loose. It was just us. The people I called family after I lost my memory weren't really my parents so we had no connection. Magnus didn't know where his family was. The only people we were putting in danger were ourselves.

It was he and I, the beginning of the organization. Now it is taken out of our hands. I hope that Holt, our Crow, will take his place. He has good morals and I trust him, but I'm afraid he will have to fight for power and prove himself. I may be able to put in a good word for him but I'm not sure what else I can do. I wish I was still the Redwing everyone remembers, but things have changed. I have changed. I will do what I can.

We cannot stay here much longer. If there is a traitor amongst the others in the organization then it is possible that we have been compromised. We will have to move soon, but to where? Magnus was supposed to figure that out. There were so many things I relied on him for. I was wrong to do so.

I climb up onto the fence and sit in my usual spot. I have so many memories from this place. All good things must come to an end. I filled my lungs with air and closed my eyes, going back through my memories. And that's how he found me.

/

He came over the hill. Usually he came through the forest but because of recent events he had to take another path. He looked down over the familiar sight and sighed with relief. He had finally made it. He was finally home. His eyes scanned the landscape until they landed on a spot he remembered with such fondness. It was the bit of the fence where he used to meet Joone, his lovely Joone. He had missed her. The thought of her was what kept him going. He couldn't afford to give up, not while she was waiting for him.

But that bit of fence wasn't empty. There was someone sitting there. He didn't recognize them at first, but as he got closer his heart started to beat faster. It was her.

It had been so long since he had seen her he almost imagined he would never see her again. The others he had been with told him that no one was willing to wait that long for someone. Well they had never met Joone. She was different. She was strong and he trusted her with his life.

Redwing. Stories had spread about her. She was also referred to as the Mother of Birds. They said she would come and she would protect them. He smiled every time they talked about her and added in a few stories of his own. She would do anything for her little birds.

He had planned to tell her these stories the next time he saw her but there were complications. They were ambushed. He wasn't stupid. He knew someone had betrayed them, someone he had trusted. He had been separated from the rest of the group as they scattered. They came out of nowhere and cut down so many. He almost thought this was it. It was over. But then he thought of Joone and he was back on his feet, running through the forest for his life as they were hunted down. He didn't know what happened to the others and hoped they were all safe.

But all he could think of now was the girl he saw sitting on the fence. Though she wasn't a girl anymore. He willed her to turn around but she did not move. So he would have to move instead. He suddenly found himself running at full speed down the hill, not caring how much noise he was making, but he stopped abruptly half way when she started to turn around. Her eyes met his and they became caught in that moment.

Her eyes widened and for a moment she could not believe what she was seeing. It wasn't possible. They told her he was surly dead. She hadn't wanted to believe that either. What was she supposed to feel now, because here he was, against all odds? Her Magnus.

Without a word, she jumped over the fence and ran towards him and he towards her. They met half way. She threw her arms around him and he lifted her into the air, spinning her around. They laughed and cried together.

"They said you were never coming back." Joone cried into his hair.

"I could never leave without saying goodbye to you." Magnus put her down and looked deep into her eyes.

"Don't you ever say goodbye." She smiled up at him. "What happened?"

"We were ambushed and I lost track of the others. The only thing I could think of was getting back to you." He cupped the side of her face with his hand and she placed her hand over it, leaning in.

"I thought I'd lost you." Joone closed her eyes.

"Everything is alright now. We are together. That's all that matters." He lifted her chin, leaned in, and kissed her.

"I must be dreaming." Her voice was a whisper.

"Then it is a perfect dream." They stood there for a moment in each other's arms, surrounded by nothing but the sound of the wind. Magnus too wondered if this was a dream, but even in the middle of a war there can be times that just seem perfect and they can be real.

"You came back to me." Joone buried her head in his chest.

"I will always come back to you, no matter where I go." He held up the hand that had the string wrapped around one of his fingers. "We promised to be together and I plan on keeping that promise."

They both raised their heads when they heard the sound of people running towards them. Three small forms came towards them across the field. The three of them had smiles on their faces. The smallest was stumbling to keep up.

"Magnus!" Aida called, a big grin on her face. Jasper ran close behind, panting. Aida jumped on Joone and Magnus, wrapping her arms around them. Jasper hesitated but Joone pulled him into the hug. Arthur just ended up hugging people's legs, but he was happy all the same to see everyone else so happy.

/

That night we all found oursleves in the familiar basement of Narayan. There were smiles on everyone's faces. This kind of get together had never been often. Not only were we overjoyed with Magnus' return but also that we got to spend time all together. Everyone was there, even Holt who looked like he was about to cry. Fionn smiled and took his hand; she still wore the necklace we all had given her. The two of them had grown very close over the years. I smiled at the sight of them together.

Magnus and I stayed close by each other the entire night, not wanting to be far from the other ever again. We sang and danced that night. Magnus pulled me onto my feet and out onto the small dance floor. I laughed as we tried to dance. It wasn't graceful.

Narendra pulled out his lute and began to play some traditional songs while the rest of us tried to remember the dance movements for it. The room filled with laughter as we stumbled, running into each other, trying to remember where to put our feet. Magnus span me around the room. I saw Holt dip Fionn, planting a quick kiss on her soft lips. He pulled her up and I could see her cheeks had gone bright pink with their stolen kiss.

Aida forced Jasper to dance. They both looked at their feet as they worked out the steps. Though I saw Aida look up from time to time, stealing a glance at Jasper without him knowing.

Olwen had Arthur in her arms and he giggled as she swung him around. Time seemed to slow as I watched them, smiles on their innocent faces. Time snapped back as Narendra finished one song and moved onto the next. This one was slower and did not have complicated movements. Instead the couples in the room just seemed to sway back and forth in each other's arms. In that moment everything seemed perfect.

Olwen put Arthur down for this song. She danced for a moment on her own. Her movements were graceful and elegant, like she was born to dance. She stopped though and went to sit by Narendra as he played. Then she leaned in and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and strummed the final cord.

"Olwen has just suggested a grand idea." He announced. "Time is fleeting these days and if we don't take advantage of this moment then we may never get another chance." Where was he going with this? "As you all know two of us here have been engaged." His eyes fell on Magnus and me. "When we heard that Magnus was never coming back then we feared we would never have the wedding we had all been planning for." Everyone laughed at that.

"What do you mean planned wedding?" I had heard nothing about this.

"It was to be a surprise." Aida came to stand next to me.

"The two of you have done so much for all of us." Jasper explained. "We wanted to repay you."

"We had planned it differently." Fionn said.

"But why not take advantage of this moment." Olwen had a twinkle in her eye. "Though it might have been better to not have had the ceremony in a basement."

"No, this place is perfect." We had had so many happy memories down here. It seemed only right.

"But we do not have anyone to marry us." Magnus was confused.

"Oh, but we do." Olwen grinned and looked to Narendra.

"I married quite a few couples back home." He explained. "So, the question is would you like to get married?"

"Yes." Magnus and I answered in unison. We had known each other for over four years and we could not wait any longer. The king's hunt for magic made time unpredictable and we may never get another chance.

"Excellent." Narendra gestured for both of us to step forward. "Then it will be my pleasure to join you two forever." Forever. I like the sound of that. But how long would our forever be?

So Narendra spoke the words that would bind us. My heart pounded. It was finally happening. I almost thought this day would never come but here we were, where we should be. Magnus and I turned to look into each other's eyes. We spoke the words together then.

"I will love you always in this life and the next. Even if we are worlds apart our hearts will forever be together. Not even war could break this love. We are forever and always." Narendra took a ribbon from his pocket and tied it around both of our wrists, binding us together. We didn't have proper rings so we left the string tied around our fingers.

"I bind these two together in love and marriage. Not even death can break them apart." Narendra tied to knot. His words were different from the traditional ones but I liked them better. "Kiss her Magnus." He patted Magnus on the back. Everyone laughed. Magnus took me in his arms and dipped me. Then he kissed me.

"I love you Joone." He whispered in my ear as he brought me back to the standing position.

"In this life and the next." I whispered back. It was our promise of always.

Narendra took up his lute again and began to play a lively tune. With our hands still tied together, Magnus and I danced. I wish Hunith and Merlin could have been there. It would have made the night all the more perfect, but still I was happy, happier then I had been in a long time. We laughed, danced, and sang into the night, not ever wanting to go home. We forgot all about the war going on outside. For now it was just us.

It was a night not easily forgotten, because it was a last night. Danger was far from our minds. Fear was not in our hearts. We were all together and we were happy. That's what counted. None of us knew it then but it would be the last time.

The night I was married was the last time all of us were together. It was our last happy moment.

Thanks for reading and please REVIEW! It would be much appreciated if you did and it might help me write faster.

I'm trying to get this story done as fast as I can. Thanks to everyone who has followed, favorited, and reviewed so far. I love you all.

Hope you keep following because the events to come will determine Joone's fate.