8.
~ Ariadne was trembling as Eames locked the conservatory doors, and walked back to her. His face clearly showing how distracted and troubled he was.
"I want to talk about what happened yesterday in your room." he said as he reached their work table.
She sank into her chair as she realized she had been holding her breath and had to fight the dizzy spell she was now feeling.
When she opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out.
"I..." she stammered instead.
"I apologize." he said at last.
She looked up at him. The memory of his facial hair on her breast, his lips on her nipple, made her body flush hot and her skin tingle.
"I'm sorry to." she whispered. "For how I acted. I was just... I was angry at what Juniper said."
"Mother spoke to you, about my past?" Eames asked.
She nodded.
"We all have a past, Ariadne." he said and sat down next to her. "You know that better than anyone."
"But you know about my past. I knew nothing about yours." she pointed out.
She looked at him and screwed up her bravery.
"Is it true? What your mother said? Did you leave a girl in a condition? Did you abandon her?" she asked. "Like Jeffery did to me?"
Eames let out a long sigh.
"I was sixteen. I was in love with a girl named Mary." he said and gave a bitter laugh. "Mother thinks I'm a menace to women. That I'll be a menace to you." he added.
"Will you?" she asked.
Eames said nothing for a long time. His gaze fixed on some point far off in the distance.
"Mary told me, there would be a baby. We were young, but I wanted to marry her. I loved her." he admitted.
Ariadne caught her breath. She didn't want to hear anymore.
"My Uncle found out, told my parents. My father was outraged." Eames said sadly. "My family had some doctor come and see her. He talked her into taking some kind of elixir that made her lose the baby. He convinced her that she was too young, that she would ruin me, that she would be destitute with a child to care for."
Ariadne felt light headed and had to remember to breath.
"So, she took this elixir, a few days later, I was told she lost the baby. A boy." he added as an after thought. "Mary was alright after a few weeks of rest. My loving family paid her money to go away and never contact me again."
How could he have never mentioned this before? Especially after he knew about Jeffery. Were all men like this? Were all men as detached to their exploits? Did only women bare the pain of carnal sin?
"Were there others?" Ariadne asked. She had to know. This Mary person couldn't be the only one. She knew that just as sure as she knew she wasn't Jeffery's only lover.
"She was the only one to ever fall pregnant by me." he said darkly. "But no, my Mary wasn't the only lover I took. At University, I surrounded myself with girls who were dancers. Girls who wanted to have a good time if I paid them."
"Whores." Ariadne whispered.
Eames shrugged.
"Some people would call them that." He said.
"Just before graduation, I met a wonderful girl I wanted to marry. Her family didn't approve of me. Rightly so. Naturally, I convinced her to elope with me. We were gone five days before they found us. By then, my Uncle said if I married Evie, I would be cut off without a cent. Like a coward, I relented. I let her go back home a soiled woman. A woman who had run off with a man for almost a week. No husband would have her then." he said sadly.
"Then, you came here." Ariadne concluded.
"Yes, after father's death, after Titanic took my Uncle and Simon, I came back home to Blue Rivers. I expected my cousin Arthur to be some old relative. Then I found out he was younger than me." he said with a laugh.
He looked at Ariadne with affection.
"Arthur came here, with money, a new car; beautiful wife on his arm who made him look like a king. I was so envious of what he had. Of everything he had." he said and looked at her.
"Why didn't you ever tell me about this? I mean, I told you about Jeffery." she whispered.
"I don't like to think about Mary or the baby. About how I treated women before I met you." he said sadly. "A person goes crazy thinking about the past. Of what might have been."
There were words she needed to say. She was still his friend. She still cared for him and all he had done for her.
"I'm sorry, Eames." she whispered.
"Mother is right." he said sadly. "I'm not good for you. You deserve a better man. Mother can find you a husband that's good for you."
"I don't want to re-marry, Eames." she whispered and wiped a tear away.
"You need a better man than me." he said.
"Your mother wants you to get married. She wants you to have some nice society girl here at Blue Rivers." Ariadne laughed and tried not to cry.
"I don't want a silly girl. But I can't be here with you anymore." Eames said hatefully.
"Eames?" she gasped.
Her friend shook his head and refused to look at her.
"I've always loved you, Ariadne. The day I first saw you, I loved you. I want you and, if you and I are together, it would only be a matter of time before I hurt you." he confessed.
"Eames, you said... you said Olivia and I could live here forever." she started to weep.
"You can, and that's why I'm leaving for the war." he said.
"Eames, are you trying to kill yourself?" she asked.
He finally looked at her then.
"Are you going to war because you want to die?" she asked again.