kripke owns all recognizable characters; any mistakes are my own

guys i apologize: this is a pathetically small chapter, but i needed a divider between the previous and next scenes so it wouldn't be so awkward. hope you forgives me and had a merry christmas/happy holidays!

PLEASE r/r i've had wonderful feedback on this tale so far! love you guys!

Chapter 3.5

Castiel stirred in bed, smelling coffee and patting around the bed with his eyes closed before realizing that Dean was missing. Concerned that he had taken off after Cas had fallen asleep, he ruffled a hand through his shock of black hair, messing it up further, and stooped to pull on a pair of boxer briefs before stumbling down the hallway toward the kitchen.

Dean leaned against the counter, his hands pressing against the laminate top and his shoulders tense. Cas didn't know what to do, cautious after last night.

"Dean?" he called out quietly. Dean jumped, not knowing that Cas was behind him. He turned to face his tiny boyfriend slowly, very embarrassed about what had happened. Thank God there were no bruises on Cas's throat; Dean would have found it hard to not run away if there were marks of his attempt on his lover's life. I'm sorry he mouthed at Cas, not trusting his voice at all. A single tear fell to the tiled floor, making Dean only more ashamed. The smaller man surprised him, not looking upset at all, and he came forth to bury his face in Dean's throat, wrapping his arms around Dean's naked torso.

"Dean, it was a dream. I'm not mad or even upset. You warned that they got violent sometimes. I don't have a scratch on me, let's try to have a good day together and forget about it, okay?" Dean nodded against his hair, chest compressing to hide a sob. Cas looked up at him and kissed the tip of his nose, managing to trap another tear as it slid down.

"Come on," he whispered, taking Dean's hand and leading him back down the hall to the bathroom. He sat Dean on the closed toilet lid, tugging his boxers down and turning away to start the shower. While the water heated he felt a timid hand brush the waistband of his boxer briefs, and he looked over his shoulder to see a sobering Dean tracing the feathers of his tattoo, pausing at the waist band. Cas chuckled to himself and pulled them down, letting his boyfriend continue his absent fondling. With a heavy sigh, the larger man pushed off of the toilet, letting his boxers fell to his ankles. He stepped out of them, tugging Cas's down all the way, and hugged him from behind, planting a firm kiss on the smaller man's nape. Before Cas could turn to do the same, Dean slipped into the shower.

They cleaned each other playfully. Dean fingered Cas open and cleaned his own seed out of his angel with a sly promise to fill him up again. Cas trembled against the wall of the shower, wanting Dean to do just that right now, not wait until later. All it took was one kiss and they were out of the shower, barely remembering to turn the water off, let alone get dry. Dean held Castiel in his arms, one hand under each butt cheek for support, as well as some more groping. They crashed onto the bed, Dean made a silent promise to find the toys that Katz had left there for them.

His boy toy had different ideas. Dean thought he was reaching for the lube, and he was, but he also brought out a green glass dildo and eyed Dean devilishly. The toy was about eight inches long, not including the handle; it was about the width of two fingers, and was topped with a bulb the size of an egg. Dean took the toy from Cas who eyed him warily, not sure if Dean would enjoy playing with it or not.

Instead of answering—they didn't talk very much in the sack—Dean handed Cas the toy and rolled so that he was on his stomach, angled across the shorter direction of the bed so that his head and feet dangled off the sides. He waited and Castiel straddled his hips and painted the toy with a heated lube from the same drawer, rubbing some between his fingers as well.

"Are you sure, De-" Cas began, never having slip-flopped with this lover before. Dean nodded and moaned into the pillow as a finger slid past the first ring of muscles after some wriggling. He was tight from avoiding intimacy since escaping Alistair, and he hadn't done anything but jack off since then, not even playing with himself. Cas for one seemed to like the fact, muttering a low oath as he worked the finger in deeper, attempting to squeeze in a second. Dean gasped and squirmed against him impatiently.

"You're not very good at waiting for a good thing are you," he whispered against the soft skin between Dean's shoulders. His boyfriend merely whimpered and shook his head. "You're as tight as a virgin love, it's gonna take some stretching to get you in the game again." They weren't playing; both of them knew that Dean was letting Cas do this as an apology for last night, but Cas was perfectly okay with it; he liked being the tormenter sometimes.

Castiel opted to find a smaller toy to start with, after getting two fingers into his boyfriend and scissoring him open a bit. He reached back into the night stand, where Katz had cleverly left all sizes and means of torment for them to try out. He found a thin dildo and greased it up, nudging the entrance and biting Dean's left butt cheek for a distraction as he pushed it halfway in.

Dean clamped his teeth around the corner of a pillow while he let Cas explore. He was trying to not have a panic attack, remembering that this was his boyfriend Castiel playing with him, not Alistair raping him and driving a knife into his kidneys. He reveled in the sensation, striving to relax around Cas's fingers as opposed to causing more pain.

The smaller man felt Dean's internal struggle and trailed soft kisses up his spine, remembering to be extra gentle with his damaged man. Cas made a slight twist of the wrist, brushing against Dean's prostate as he did so. That did it; Dean moaned into the pillow and relaxed more, his muscles twitching as he spread out a bit more. When Cas fumbled in the drawer for a different sized toy, Dean peeked an eye out from where he had burrowed into the pillows. He got a face full of downy black hair as Cas swooped in for a kiss. He growled at the loss when his lover wriggled back down to toy his ass some more.

After a few more toys and a lot more lube, Cas had successfully gotten Dean stretched enough to take him and he reached under his boyfriends hips, palming his hardness before proceeding. "Are you ready, munchkin?" he breathed in Dean's ear. The larger man nodded and writhed against the sheets, flipping over onto his back and wrapping his calves around Cas's slim hips. Cas looked into his eyes, "Dean, if you need to stop, tell me and I will. This is an experiment okay?" Dean nodded, licking his lips and breathing hard.

Castiel seated himself at Dean's entrance, gripping himself hard at the base of his cock and pushing the head in through the first ring of muscles. He watched carefully as the man beneath him screwed up his eyes and held his breath. "Dean, no. look at me. You need to see me doing this, not imagine it," he slapped Dean's ass playfully when he opened his eyes, earning a smile and a kiss. When the smaller man sat back, he trailed a greased-up hand over Dean's erection, stroking the length as he pushed himself in all the way. Dean's back arched at the sudden fullness, but Cas was being so gentle that he felt amazing.

"M-move, Cas…please!" he gasped, needing the friction. Cas laughed breathily and complied, bending over Dean's torso and planting a fist on either side of his ribs for stability. Dean loved the stance, pressing light fingers all over Cas's chest and shoulders. One hand went down to stroke himself as Cas moved smoothly and evenly in and out of his tight ass, causing a surge of emotion that Dean hadn't felt in a very long time. When Cas angled their hips differently, hitting Dean's prostate hard several times in a row, Dean bit his fist as the orgasm waved over him, shooting thick ropes of semen all over his chest and hand. Cas's thrusts became more erratic as he sought his own release. Another dribble of ejaculate came from Dean as he felt heat pool deep within him. He was going to be sore today, but he felt proud that he had done it without having to stop his boyfriend. Castiel slumped against him, lying across Dean's broad chest and stretching up to kiss his neck. His chest heaving from getting back in the game, Dean wrapped his arms tight around Cas and felt himself clench against the softening cock still inside him. The smaller man trembled and pulled out gently, moving to lie beside Dean but still entangled in his arms.

After a few minutes of silence, listening to their breath and heart beats, Dean spoke against the soft skin at Cas's neck.

"Why don't we go out today? To the mall or something, walk around?"

"That sounds awesome, babe. Let's get ready!" Cas hopped up and literally scampered into the bathroom, cranking the hot water to clean up.

An hour later they were in the Impala headed for the mall, hand in hand. Dean managed to find a close parking space, singing at the top of his lungs to "Eye of the Tiger" and making Castiel laugh hysterically. They wandered in, Dean giving his little lover a piggy-back ride to the main entrance.

"Ooh, I wanna clothes shop, can we?" Cas begged, hopping up and down once Dean set him on the ground again.

"Of course, sweetheart, lead the way," he returned, easily slipping his hand into Cas's. They sped off in search of the nearest American Eagle and bought a few cardigans and button-down shirts before speeding off to find skinny jeans—because Cas only had half the rainbow colors and every shade of blue; he needed the other half of the rainbow.

A few hours later, they found seats in the food court and ate pleasantly, relaxing after a long day of shopping. Cas's phone buzzed as he scooped a mouthful of fried rice and chicken teriyaki into his mouth.

Katz sent: I KNOW I SAID I WOULDN'T INTERRUPT YOU GUYS! BUT would you be interested in a rendezvous later at the underground club, Atlantis? I think it would…open up some avenues for you two ;)

Cas cocked an eyebrow, showing Dean the message. "What do you think," he asked before answering her. He knew the club, it was an underground fetish club.

"Well, I don't really know what it is…" Dean trailed off.

"It's a…fetish club." Castiel kept his eyes on his food, hoping no one was listening too closely. "It's where…Doms take their subs to, uh, view things. And do things. She is a member because of her profession, so we will get in for free or discounted," he mumbled, not knowing how Dean would react after everything that had happened to him. "if you don't think we are ready to do that yet then we can just tell her maybe later…" he added and trailed off awkwardly, still not looking at Dean and blushing furiously. Thank god he got a distraction when his phone buzzed again. He snatched it back off the table and read:

Katz sent: tell Dean he has to collar you, and no one will touch you; only him. Might help sway his confidence.

Once again he showed Dean the message, not trusting his voice just yet. He could still feel the burn in his cheeks, but Dean's face softened after reading the last message.

"Is…is this something that you like…that you want to do Castiel?" he asked his boyfriend, using his full name to make him look back at Dean again. It worked; the smaller man nodded feebly, biting his lower lip.

"If you want to, Dean." He lowered his eyes, choosing to delve back into his food for something to do.

"Is she going to come too?" he asked nervously. Cas nodded. "Then tell her to pick us up at your place at seven. We'll go." Dean kept his eyes on his boyfriend's as the lit up, and he coolly tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal; just any other date. But Dean knew he was burning inside at the consent.

They left the mall and returned to the studio apartment for a lazy afternoon, preparing for the night ahead of them.