~X-mission: PLAN B~

Xanxus realised that maybe jokes itself aren't strong enough to move someone hard like the shark trash, he decided to hire Mammon to help him, since if the baby is nicely paid, it never fails him. And thus the world's strongest Illusionist is given the task from carrying out assassinations to making someone laugh over something just to satisfy Boss silly request. But the mist Acrobaleno doesn't complaint, the amount of income overwhelmed it's pride.

"Boss, do you think these are enough?" The infant calmly hands in a neatly wrapped photos into the hand of the most fearsome man existed. Xanxus unwrapped the package and burst out into an uncontrollable laughter upon the first glimpse of the first photo.

A man eating a 6-inch bun, unnoticed of a huge, dead roach hanging at the end of the bun. What's worst, he was so busy watching out for a cab that his foot was only a few centimeters above a small pool of melted chocolate ice cream on the floor.

The next few ones are worst. One that Xanxus laughed the most is a close-up photo of two basketball players knocked into each other. The person to the right is trying to make a shot, despite the blocker's failed attempt to defend his goal, he managed to get himself a good mouthful of the other male's member midair. Ouch.

"Buahahahahaha! This should work! I'll place them along the way to the meeting room!" Xanxus grins widely as he imagine how Squalo will roll on his stomach. He secretly praises himself for making the wise decision of hiring Mammon.

And of course, all expenses will go to the Vongola. He has already prepared fill-in-the-blanks kind of letter earlier ant he only needs to add a few words in it to request for money-claim.

~Lettera formale della Squadra assassini indipendente di Vongola IX, Varia~

A: il Decimo Boss di Vongola

Richiesta di Pagamento per le spense

Oi feccia,

Ho bisogno di un importo minimo di circa quattro milioni di euro in qualsiasi forma per le spense di inttrattenimento, le spense di menutenzone, l'approvvigionamento alimentare e il pagamento per lie mie scoperte e l'occupazione di Mammon . Ho allegato i conti con questa lettera. Si invia in denaro appena possibile.

Cordiali saluti,

Xanxus.

Boss di la Varia

/Translation

~Formal letter from the Vongola IX Independence Assassination Squad, Varia~

To: The Vongola Tenth Boss

Request of payment for expenses

Oi scum,

I request for a minimum amount of four million in whatever form to be pended for the expenditures for entertainments, maintainance fees, food supply and payment for my discoveries and Mammon's employment . I have attached the bills as proof along with this letter. You will send in the money as soon as the letter reaches you.

Best regards,

Xanxus

Boss of the Varia./

Xanxus rereads the whole letter after filling in the blanks. Yes, this is how a formal letter should be exactly. Xanxus' extremely pleased by his own writing skills. He didn't forget to lit a small flame at the top part of the letter before handing it in to one of the rookie scums to send it to the trash Tsuna. He snickers in amusement when he imagine how that trash will scream in horror after receiving the FIFTH letter of money request this month. It can't be helped that the Varia is always on the move and breaks something here and there, compare to the Vongola. If they want people to do their dirty jobs for them, then they must pay. Good point.

Now he'll start carrying out the plan B, as he has settled the financial problems.

Xanxus orders an emergency meeting that everyone must attend. And the funny pictures and quotes are stuck to everywhere along the way the meeting room, regardless of direction.

You know what happens then.

Squalo is the first person to reach the meeting room as everybody fell to the ground rolling on their stomach while the Second sword-emperor is the last one standing. Squalo, as usual screamed his trademark greeting and kicks open the already-have-a-hole-in-the-middle door in ease as he ducks the incoming identified-as-64%-alcohol-in-glass with a speed of 73mph, sways his beautiful long hair and...

"Voi, WHY ARE THERE SOOO MANY PICTURES DOWN THE HALLWAYYY!? THE NINTH ORDERED THIS!?"

Dumbass.

A certain half-contained wine glass comes in contact with a certain shark's head.

Crash. Followed by a loud, familiar VOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Don't worry, Xanxus'll never run of glasses to make a counter strike on the silverette's head, though Squalo's the one who stock that.

"I want to upgrade this castle. You have a problem, trash?" Xanxus, with his badass voice, snorts. He's somewhat relieved to hear the crashing and VOIing sound. It's like drugs to him, stronger than alcohol. He can't really live without them even one day.

"No! Of course not! Now if you mind I excuse myself to treat my fucking scalp!"

"I mind. I didn't say you can go."

"Like I care! What kind fucking urgent meeting is this when everyone isn't here!?" Squalo turns to leave.

"Wait. What do you think about my latest upgrades?"

"What else other than funny!? You want to slump the enemies who invade our castle!? Not bad!" The silverette (experiment subject) vanished in an eye bat after his last lines. Hell is still breaking loose out there and Xanxus doesn't want to get out now since he isn't looking forward to be his own trap's new victim.

Shit. Now Xanxus needs a new plan. And also a plan how to get out of here without dying from asphyxiation.