Sirius, my dear brother.

If you have opened this letter and have not discounted or burned it yet, thank you.

You were right. You were always right. It's just taken me ages to finally see it clearly and just as long to finally admit it.
Voldemort is far more dangerous than anyone thought, and I get the feeling that the war will go on far, far longer than anyone believes it will.
The things I've seen, witnessed, been forced to participate in... All of it is dwarved by knowing just how far Voldemort will go in his pursuit of power, control, glory... And it sickens me so much it has me turning sides.

Brother, I never hated you, and I know you were angry, frustrated, disappointed. I get it.
But did you really have to sever every link you ever had to me? I love you Siri, I never stopped loving you. You are and always will be Siri, my older brother, who was there to comfort, care for, hold me because our parents clearly couldn't.
You and Remus showed me that it's okay, and gave me the nerve to find my someone.
You taught me that one's morals are worth the price one might have to pay to adhere to them.
You taught me that causes are worth fighting for.
You taught me the value of being on the right side of that fight.
I just wish that I'd had the courage to follow through on this earlier.

I should probably get to the point of this letter.

I am requesting asylum (not for myself, but for a good friend of mine) from the Order.
I wish I could be going with him, but it's too late. What's done is done, and hopefully my actions will redeem me and assist the Order's efforts in time.

You will soon be hearing from Barty Crouch Jr.
And I know you don't owe me anything Siri, but I must ask this of you regardless.
I need you to try and ensure Barty gets protection from the Order. He's important to me and will probably be very fragile when he contacts you, being a Death Eater hasn't been easy on either me or him.

Please try to get along with Barty. You and Barty could've been great friends at school given the chance.I was going to try to build that bridge myself, but I'm not going to get the chance now.
He doesn't have anyone else now, and he needs someone to be a friend to him.

Barty used to tell me that he was always jealous of the fact I had a brother, considering he always wanted one himself.
It hurts him almost as much as it hurts me that you and I don't talk. He's kind, intelligent, loyal.
I'll haunt you if you take advantage of that.

You once protected me, shielded me from the world. I need you to do this for Barty now.

I won't be seeing you again in this world, brother. I was too stubborn, and I relented too late.

Treat Barty as the brother you wish you'd had all these years. And forgive me for not being able to be the brother you needed.

Please be discreet. I know you've picked up on it, but I've left the decision up to Barty as to whether he tells anyone about himself and I.
Also, his father is clueless about his being a Death Eater - actually, his father is clueless about every aspect of his son's life - and would only serve to make Barty more fragile at this time. There is no love lost between the two of them.

Do not blame yourself, do not blame our parents, and please do not blame Barty. He's the only reason I survived this long, and I was the one to make my decisions, no one else.
If you try to find me, I want you to promise me something.
Promise me that if you find my body, I am buried somewhere that both you and Barty will be able to visit, and that one day you might think about being buried alongside me.

I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you more.
I'm sorry I let you think I hated you. I thought it was for the best, as you probably did as well, but it clearly wasn't.
I'm sorry I won't see you again.
I'm sorry I can't make any guarantees about you finding my remains.
I'm sorry I can't hug my brother again and show him how much he truly means to me.
I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to know your friends better. They truly are good people.
I'm sorry I let you down.

Don't lose any sleep over me. Tell Remus that he's good for you. I approve.
I love you brother, don't ever forget it. Stay safe.

Your loving brother,

Regulus Arcturus Black.

Sirius woke up on the comfortable rug he and Remus kept on the floor for Padfoot at the Shrieking Shack, to find a letter addressed to him in his brother Regulus' handwriting.

Something's not right. Something's not right.

With slightly shaking hands, Sirius opened the letter and read it.
By the time he finished, Remus had woken on the bed and was watching Sirius suddenly lose it in front of him.

With tears flowing freely, Sirius stood and launched himself at the nearest wall, punching, kicking, throwing things, screaming.
Remus gingerly limped over to where the letter had been abandoned on the floor, and picked it up and read it too.
Remus blanched, and started crying both for his boyfriend and for Barty.
Remus couldn't bear to think about what would have been if it was Sirius instead of Regulus, and could only imagine the pain Barty would be experiencing right now.

Ignoring his screaming muscles and joints, Remus quickly walked over and wrapped his arms around his Paddy's waist, pinning the man's arms to his sides.
Sirius screamed again, a sound filled with confusion, and pure rage, anguish, and sadness, as his legs gave out underneath him.

Summoning his wand, Remus set to work healing the significant amount of damage Sirius had done to himself in just a matter of minutes, as he wrapped himself around his mate.

Remus rocked Sirius slowly as he hummed the same tune Sirius had used to soothe him so many times before, calming Sirius and helping himself ignore the fact that Sirius was holding on to him for dear life, so tightly that Remus could barely breathe.

After what seemed like an eternity Remus realised that while the tears were still flowing and sobs still wracked the body of the man he loved, he had relented somewhat in his hold on Remus's waist.
Ignoring the pain flowing like liquid fire through his limbs, Remus lifted Sirius and carried him across to the bed, still humming the same calming tune the whole time. Sitting against the wall he manoeuvred Sirius on to the bed with him, covering them both with the threadbare blanket as Sirius leaned into his side and claimed Remus' shoulder as his pillow.
"Remy I-"
"Shh. Enough. Your pain far outweighs mine right now. There's no potion or spell to heal yours. Sleep."

Sirius shifted slightly and Remus felt him mumble "I love you so much Remy" against his shoulder as Remus started gently running his fingers through Sirius' dark locks and pulled the blanket tighter around them.

It was in this moment he noticed a near identical, albeit slightly thicker envelope sitting on the headboard of the bed with his own name in Regulus' unmistakeable handwriting. Breathing deeply he suppressed the urge to reach for the letter now, not wanting to disturb the calm state Sirius was currently in.

No, he would wait until Sirius was sleeping before doing so, and they could discuss it when Siri wasn't feeling so vulnerable. The added blow of whatever was in Remus' letter would be too much for the man to bear now. Remus pressed his lips to Sirius' forehead, feeling his mate slowly relax into the first throes of sleep.