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Ch7
I think as a human I may have been a man hating bra burning kind of chick who wore heavy soled boots and no makeup. Hope I at least shaved under my arms though. Seeing the other ladies hunt made me want to pump my fist in the air as a giant 'fuck you'to the men who had treated us like we were less then them. Maybe it was a good thing I don't have my memories with this new body. I could do some serious damage.
"So Bella, were you able to taste the difference this time?" Alice skipped over to where I stood after finishing a deer, a mountain lion, and a possum. FYI possums are gross.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I sneered at her.
She looked at me with wide eyes," Bella I'm sorry. What I meant was your first kill was out of control, you were running on pure instinct. That makes it easy to just drink whatever puts the burn out without tasting it, which is completely normal for a newborn." She said the last part emphatically.
I hung my head in apology. She was finally showing me kindness and I erupt at her. "Sorry Alice. I'm still feeling pretty defensive and you don't seem to like me much..."
Alice sighed. "It's not that I don't like you Bella. I've never met someone without knowing them from my visions first. Even in my human life I had visions which is how I ended up in an asylum."
"You were in a nut house?" I blurted out.
Her tinkling laugh bubbled through the air like music notes. "Yes I was, but I don't remember anything of my human life either, just like you. Considering the time I was most likely given electro-shock which could have caused the memory loss."
I was really starting to be thankful for my amnesia. "So you don't hate me?"
Alice looked up at me with total sincerity. "No I don't hate you. You make me nervous because I can't see your future or Peter, Charlottes, or Jasper's."
She said Jasper's name in a longing sigh and I felt confused. I knew that they weren't mated. "Is there a reason you just said Jasper's name like it was a prayer?"
She looked up at me with dreamy eyes. "Jasper and I were together for awhile, but we broke things off about five years ago. He thinks we aren't mates but I know he just needs time to find himself. One day I'm sure he will tell you his story and you'll be able to understand how it's not easy for him to trust enough to be mated, but he will."
Just as I was opening my mouth to say something stupid and insulting to her I heard the other women running towards us. In mere seconds Esme, Rosalie, and Charlotte were standing in front of us looking like a porn mag for outdoorsman.
Esme started,"Did you enjoy your hunt Bella?"
"Um yes I did thank you."
"Do you have a preference?" Rosalie asked.
"Not particularly. It feels more like medicine then food. I don't feel hunger only this rawness in my throat and the blood acts like hot tea used to. It's soothing."
One more thing to add to the list of my mystery human life: I used to drink tea when I was sick.
Charlotte smiled. "So do you have any more questions for us sugar?"
I contemplated for a moment and kept coming back to one issue that still confused the hell out of me.
"I think I've got most of it. The one thing I still don't get is the whole mate concept."
Charlotte came and took my hand as we walked through the trees and underbrush. Branches that would have left me looking as if I'd wrestled with a cheese grater broke off or bent and whispered softly against my new hard skin.
"Well sugar finding your mate is a rare thing because there really is only one out there for us each. You never know where they are or if they've even been born yet until you meet them. It's not always love at first sight and sometimes other instincts kick in first."
"Like what?"
Rosalie answered. "The male becomes very protective of his mate and sometimes possesive. Every instinct he has is telling him to claim her as his."
I stared at her shocked so much my eyes were popping out of my skull. "So what, Emmett forced himself on you?"
Fearing I had offended her I looked around at the other women and within a second they were all doubled over laughing, gasping for air they didn't usually need.
Esme tried to talk. "Oh Bella..God...no..none of those...boys would be alive...in that case." Her laughter and stuttering speech made my vampire hearing necessary.
Rosalie finally righted herself enough to explain. "We shouldn't laugh at you Bella but nothing could be farther from the truth. It's so against vampire nature to hurt your mate that it's not possible, plus the other men would kill the one who tried to hurt any one of us. We really are a family in that way."
They all nodded. "So what's claiming?"
Charlotte smiles fondly. "Sugar a male vampire who recognizes his mate is like a man obsessed. I guess you could call it wooing or courting or whatever humans are calling it these days and everyone does it differently because each one is perfect for his other half. Maybe he writes songs or buys an expensive gift, whatever is best suited for his woman. When the female responds by kissing him they are officially mated."
On one hand it sounded so simple but on the other it seemed impossible. "But how do you know who your mate is?"
Rosalie quirked an eyebrow at me. "Why do you want to know? Got your eye on somebody?"
I openly gaped at her and waited for the heating of my cheeks but nothing came. No heartbeat equals no blush smarty pants. "Of course not, but I am curious. You said that it is rare but most of you are mated."
Alice jumped in. "There's no mistaking it Bella. You feel a pull to them and it hurts to be away. You love them with all that you are and know that you could never live without them again."
She stared into my eyes as she said this and it felt like a strong declaration. She was letting me know that she considered Jasper hers. How did that make sense? How did they live apart if they were truly mated?
If Carlisle was right I had a gift and would therefore never find a mate. But if what Alice said is true there seems to be some room for difference of opinion with the whole mating thing. I don't remember any of it though I'm fairly certain human dating was never this complicated.
I nodded my head in understanding. It was one of those intangible things that you could never explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. We started heading back towards the house, walking at a languid pace.
The world was so different now. Each small animal left a scent and spot of heat. The wind through the leaves reminded me of music that I couldn't remember. Drops of moisture beaded on every still surface making the woods sparkle just as we did.
This new life and world were made of magic. It sang in my veins, giving me life where there should be none just as it created life in every crevice of these secret spaces that have been left untouched by humans.
While part of my mind listened to the women chatter on another part was considering living an eternity alone. If the magic that is love and mating does not find me, there is still enough around me.