Ch 9
BPOV
My instinct was telling me that Edward was lying, or at least not telling me the entire truth. Everytime confusion hit Edward, Alice, and Jasper were always the cause. Stupid beautiful gifted pains in the immortal ass.
I didn't understand the dynamics with those three and more disturbing I didn't know why it was affecting me so much. But it was, it was making me sick and crazy.
"Alright sug, what's up?" I hadn't even realised we had stopped running, perhaps because the thoughts in my head were still galloping at full speed. We sat on top of a mountain, literally, staring out over a small lake.
The soft cool grass beneaeth us felt like a warm blanket and the sweet air kissed our stony skin. The sight before us was calm and peaceful and rubbed me the wrong way because I was feeling anything but. I would have felt more at home around a fucking volcano right now, one of the big loud angry ones, that flattened everything in it's path.
I didn't know where to start with all of the noise in my mind so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Alice thinks her and Jasper are mates."
Char nodded her head. "Yes she always has. I don't think it's possible though. If they really were they wouldn't be able to stand being apart. Jasper's also made it very clear that he doesn't feel that way about her."
That's what I had thought. My muscles relaxed slightly and I thought that maybe Alice was wrong which took a decent chuck of confusion out of the pie. "There's some tension between Edward and Jasper."
She sighed," Yeah those two never really got along. They don't have much in common other then the Cullens." That much was obvious. Edward had the confidence of someone who had been a protected and adored son. Jasper's strength seemed born from pain. Perhaps I respected Jasper more because his life seemed harder earned, or maybe it was because I didn't suspect him of lying to me as I did Edward.
"What was wrong with Jasper today?" I whispered picturing him curled on the ground with my newly acquired perfect recall.
She grinned at me."You're sure asking alot about Jasper young lady. Something you wanna tell me?"
I wasn't sure what there was to tell except how I felt. "I didn't like seeing him in pain. It just felt incredibly wrong to see him hurting like that and at the hand of someone that's supposed to be his family. What the Hell happened?"
She looked me over and seemed to be studying me before she gave one quick nod of her head, sending her blond hair waving. "Peter messaged me earlier, said he found the two boys arguing. If I had to guess Edward was using his mind reading and emotions to get to Jasper. Remember he's an empath. It's a power but can also be used against him."
Would Edward be that cruel? For all intents and purposes they were family and he always appreared to be the perfectly behaved gentleman."What were they arguing about?"
"Now that I don't know, Peter didn't say which makes me think it was something about you. He'd be worried that I'd go crazy and kill one of those silly boys." She laughed and I wanted to join her but I was stunned.
"I don't want to cause rifts between you and the Cullens." I didn't want to leave but I couldn't stand the thought of being the cause of anyone's family problems. Being alone and clueless sounded much better then sticking around someplace I wasn't wanted.
"Oh Sug we don't get on that great with them anyway. Rose and Em are great fun. The doc and his missus are self righteous pains in the asses if you ask me but they have good hearts." She gently patted my shoulder and sent me a little wink.
I agreed with her so far from my limited time with the Cullens. "What about Edward and Alice?"
She shook her head and made a face like she had a bad taste in her mouth. "Can't say I'm a fan. Their powers have convinced them that they know better then everyone else. That's why Alice says she and Jasper are mates, says she's seen it. Personally I think it's horse spit but she's convinced so they all believe her." There's that sick crazed feeling again.
I stood up and started walking back the way we had come, following our own scents through the wilderness. There were no hard and fast rules in this life it seems. Alice's power says that Jasper is her mate, but mates can't stand to be seperated. Gifted people don't mate, but both of them are gifted. So who's theory was right? And where does Edward fit in to all of this?
The silence ran on and on and I was thankful to Charlotte for giving me time to think. She may have been a bit rough around the edges but she was great at this mom stuff. My mind was in a loop and it kept coming back to the scene in front of the house. Jasper laying on the ground. Alice rushing to his side. Edward calling me love and touching me.
It was so confusing but I kept the track running in my mind hoping that the answer would jump out at me. That the source of this gnawing in my stomach would show itself clear as day.
The sun was setting as we got closer to the house and Char grabbed my arm before raising her eyebrows as is to say,"are you alright?" I nodded fearing the lie would catch in my throat. We entered the house and it was alive with activity. Esme and Carlisle were snuggled in a big chair reading a book together. Rose was being spun around the room by Emmett in the raunchiest version of a waltz I'd ever seen. Peter was standing at the other end of the room giving a big cheesy grin.
Then Jasper came walking in with his head down, smiling at the little pixie on his arm. She looked up at him with the radiant glow of love, practically dancing with each step. I wanted to growl at them for throwing such a confusing situation into the mix, but instead I huffed in resignation. That sound caused Jasper to look up and catch my eyes. He looked relieved, then angry. Before I could wonder where his anger had come from Edward came and stood next to me.
"You look exhausted love, how about a night hunt?" I looked at his face then. He truly was beautiful, almost too perfect with his unique hair color and elegant features. With my heart somewhere near my shoes I nodded my head. My heart ached but my mind reminded me that I didn't want to spend an eternity alone and unsure.
He looked towards Peter for a moment and gave a nod, obviously answering something he had heard in his head. I turned to Peter with furrowed brows and he smiled at me sadly. My head moved of it's own accord towards Jasper who was shaking with rage, his eyes blacker then the deepest lake. I instictively shrunk back from what looked like an immenent attack and that seemed to bewilder him causing him to calm slightly.
I turned and walked back out of the house, Edward followed behind and placed his hand on my lower back. The contact felt strange and too intimate so I ran off into the trees until I came to a familiar scent. It was the sweet scent of blood pushing it's way through veins, thick viscous liquid being pumped steadily by a still beating heart. I crouched low before springing onto the back of a mountain lion. It let out a growl as I sunk my teeth into it's buttery flesh. It was a growl of frustration, of having met something higher up the food chain.
When I finished I stood up to see Edward staring at me with intense eyes again. "Those are my favorite, but I'm happy to share with you anytime love."
He flashed me a grin and I felt unease roll in my stomach, the blood I had just drank threatening to evacuate my gut. He was so charming, so gentile, so why couldn't I trust him? How much of what I was feeling for either of them was real, and how much was my crazed newborn moodswings? "What were you and Jasper arguing about earlier?"
His grin was gone as he stepped closer to me. "I didn't like some of the thoughts he was having about you."
What had he been thinking, and why did Edward care? Why did I care so much? I said the only certain truth I had within me. "I don't understand."
He took a deep sigh. "Jasper is a monster Bella. My family and I attempted to help him, to restrain his demons but he chose not to. He would slip and kill someone with no provocation and in the end he decided to return to the Whitlocks despite their choice of diet. He, Peter, and Charlotte got those terrible scars fighting in the Southern Wars. They've killed thousands of humans and vampires alike. And I feel protective of you, I care about you."
"You don't even know me." I gasped. How could he say something so damning and declare his feelings for me in the same breath? My head spun at how composed he was through his entire speech and even more so with what he said next.
"Some things one can know instantly love."
But I didn't know a damn thing, not for sure. He stepped towards me holding my gaze. This wasn't right and they couldn't be monsters. If they were they wouldn't have saved me. Suddenly Edward was in front of me tilting my head towards his, as if to kiss me.
I pushed him away and ran towards the house only to hear arguing as I approached.