AN-

I'm not even going to lie I didn't have a very good few days, perhaps that may have influenced this chapter slightly. (But not too extremely I hope)

Which also wasn't helped by a simply wonderful person who has took it upon themselves to send me hate over tumblr, mainly about this story. Anonymously of course, but I mean seriously who the fuck has the time? I'm clearly just going to delete haters, because I really can't be bothered in responding to something that's just a personal attack on me. (Plus I'd be worried that if I did respond I may kill you with my vicious vicious words)

This with the addition of a lot of personal issues were getting me down a little and actually I was considering just not bothering continuing with this story at all. (Or at least for a good while…)

AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AFTER THE BREAK UP EPISODE. MY HEART IS BROKEN AND EVERYTHING HURTS

But then I felt that would be unfair to all of you who have taken the time to read and follow and review and just generally be really nice to me :)

(So fuck you random anon)

Anyway...speaking of nice/awesome/sexy people.

feedmeadeadmau5- Why not get hot and bothered while laughing? And I love writing for Lord Tubbs a lot more than I thought I would.

Rosetoast- I'm sorry about your feels! But you know I'm going to make up for it...eventually :)

naynay1963- Personally I've never really seen Brittany as being either unicorn or bi-corn but just if she has a connection with someone she falls in love with them really easily and is really loyal. Oh and yeah I don't think she's going to let San get away with stuff much longer (Especially the teasing)

nayalove- Yup, there's a 'feelings' talk in this chapter.

dafuq33- I tried to update quick!

MusicFlowsWithin- I honestly laughed for about 5 minutes straight at that :') and yeah apparently I have urges to write only in early hours of the morning right before work :/

Fragar1991- I have so many pussy jokes...I need to try and fit them all in haha

Peaceagent15- Oh Barbra...Can you imagine the noise it made though? I mean it was a parrot version of Rachel Berry! Oh Lord Tubbs...I swear he knows exactly what he's doing. I agree Santana needs to go get her girl!

mel-kung- Yeah Britt's going to get her memory back, not soon. But something's going to trigger it.

Ooh there's going to be more flashbacks...Aren't you lucky?

Disclaimer- Unfortunately I still don't own Glee. All mistakes are mine.

M- for ass kicking, language and lady loving in later chapters

Santana's POV

I was currently doing my best to not beat my face against the table right now, hopefully into sweet, sweet unconsciousness.

My reasons I hear you ask? Oh great I'm doing that whole 'inner monologue' movie shit. Like who is even going to listen to this? You know the first sign of madness is talking to yourself right?

Well I guess I'm crazy then.

Well the first reason for my fucking awful mood may have something to do with the fact that all I can hear is that goddamn Dwarf complaining about how all that puking up may have damaged her vocal chords. I mean if you're going to drink knowing full well that you get drunk from half a wine cooler and a tequila shot that you didn't even finish you shouldn't even be drinking at all. And to top it all off her singing voice isn't even that good. There I said it. I regret nothing.

I grit my teeth as another whine from Berry pierces through the room. I honestly have no idea how someone so small can make so much damn noise. Especially when talking about how she may never sing again. I nearly bite my tongue in two trying to hold in a cheer of 'hallelujah' at the thought of never hearing her brutally murder another show tune.

The second and definitely the most important reason for my crappy mood this morning was realizing how stupid I am. Well not stupid stupid. I mean I was top of my classes in school you know. My face scrunching up in disgust at even the thought of school and my terrible time I had there. But no today I realized I'm stupid in an entirely different way, stupid in a way that apparently I am totally oblivious to other peoples emotions.

I once more resist the urge to hit my head off something solid as again the memory of last night creeps it's way into my head, the guilt and shame I felt at my words hanging heavy in my heart.

"Maybe we should just be friends"

It was never my intention for her to hear, it was more a warning to myself, but that doesn't make it right. I could tell that those words had cut her deep, it's not like I couldn't hear that she was trying not to cry. I felt awful, trying to fix it by sending her a kiss before I trying to get to sleep.

But I never meant to upset her. I wish I could just grab her and tell her how much I care about her, but I'm just so scared. Scared that she doesn't like me like that. Scared that she'll give up on me eventually. Scared that I'll hurt her.

Again.

I swallowed. But it did nothing to ease the dryness of my throat. Looking over to Brittany, who in my silence had shuffled away from me to talk animatedly to Sam and Quinn who were laughing along at something she had said. The pain in my chest not easing in the slightest when I looked down to confirm that, yes, her hand had indeed slipped from mine at some point and she was no longer holding my pinky. It was strange how cold I felt without her beside me, even though it was impossible for me to feel cold. Maybe it's how being lonely really feels. It wasn't her fault I was being unintentionally ignorant right now.

Even when she started making wild arm movements at Lord Tubbington as he started couching up a particularly large hairball on the floor it didn't even cause me to smile not even a twitch. I frowned, slowly getting up from the couch, causing most sets of eyes in the room to focus themselves on me. A feeling of claustrophobia crawling over me as I suddenly felt incredibly crowded. But I didn't stop moving to think on it for too long.

It's all so much to think about right now. All my head is saying is 'don't be ridiculous, you don't know this girl and you certainly can't fall for her' whereas my heart is saying 'you already have' And I know which of the two I would rather listen to.

My legs on autopilot as they carried themselves to the exit. My heart pounding so loudly that I thought that everyone in the room might hear. My mouth still dry as I rolled my tongue nervously around my mouth as I walked. The tightness in my chest not letting up as I struggled to keep the tears from spilling down my cheeks, but I knew I was fighting a losing battle there.

The doors of the elevator opening as soon as I pressed the button, as if they knew how quickly I wanted to get out of there and for that I was thankful. A few tears finally escaping as I stepped into the small metal area. Reaching out and pressing another button on the wall with a small click. As the silver doors began sliding into place the worried call of 'San' only caused me to weep harder.

Smack.

There was only one place I could have gone to.

Smack.

The sound of my fist pounding into the hard leather of the punching bag echoed throughout the empty room. That and the sound of my heavy breathing was the only thing that could be heard. It would have been almost therapeutic if I still didn't have an overwhelming urge to burst into tears at any moment. Why was this so complicated? As I sent another punch to the swinging bag.

This time when my skin made contact with its target my entire hand burst into flames on impact. I growled. I was trying to avoid using my powers right now. I wasn't training, I was expressing myself in the only way I knew how. Violence ad anger I guess. Trying to block out the outside world by focusing on wearing myself down, I had nothing to gain from my hand being engulfed in flames right now. What have I ever gained by having powers? Nothing.

Sending another quick succession of blows to the poor training bag, it wasn't long before my other hand had joined it's friend in covering itself in flames. I shouted out, knowing full well they had ignited because of my increasing emotions and as usual I couldn't control it. Each hit of my fist coming faster now, landing with a small hiss against the protected bag, sending small sparks and hot debris flying from the bag with each blow like small fireworks. I would have been watching them in awe, if I wasn't so hell bent on exhausting myself.

I could feel the sweat dripping down my face as the flames licked higher up my arms, but I wouldn't let up. She loves me? Sending a strong punch to the side of the bag, causing it to swerve and rock violently away from me. She loves me not? Letting out a bitter laugh and swinging my other arm to catch it again. A loud crackle piercing the air as flames shot off my arm at the contact.

I sent out a quick flurry of shots, each stronger than the last, before finally sobs started ripping through my body. My body eventually catching up with my emotions. How did I manage to mess up something that I never had to begin with? Only I could do that.

With each hit my vision started to blur, lashing out furiously as the tears streamed down my face. Which only angered me further. If I hadn't have been so scared of rejection I might not have retreated back into my little shell, like I do every single time someone tries to get close to me. Or when I'm getting close to them. Lashing out again as the bright flames crept their way higher up my arm. The tears fading as quickly as they came, replaced by an anger directed only towards myself and my many faults.

Almost growling as I took a step back, deciding that merely punching wasn't enough anymore. Closing my eyes and feeling the flames lick up my arm before flicking my hand forward, creating a ball of flames that crashed into a nearby wall. well this will work better. Each movement of my arms creating a trail of embers in the air, as I flung wave after wave of flames crashing into various parts of the room.

"I guess I know why there's so many marks on the wall then"

I jumped. Spinning around on my bare feet to come face to face with the very girl that I was trying to avoid and yet kiss her and tell her that I want to be with her. Although I did nearly manage to set her on fire as I swung around a bit too fast, sending flames whizzing right beside her as she stumbled out of the way in a small fit of panic.

I hesitantly replied with a nod of my head, words not coming to me easy right now. Looking around at the new additions to the already tarnished walls. The presence of Brittany already calming me down, as the flames began dying down over my arms. However she might have thought the whole 'accidental burning' might have been a threat as she just stood looking at me warily. So I focused everything I had on controlling myself and willed the fire to subside, feeling the flamed die down before eventually extinguishing completely.

"You left" she breathed out. Biting my bottom lip shamefully as we both knew there was a deeper meaning hiding behind those two words. I couldn't look at her, knowing if I made the mistake of looking into those blue eyes I'd start crying all over again, deciding on looking down at my hands flexing my fingers out as they had become stiff from all the punches.

"I did" I whispered back. Moving to walk towards the door, I thought I was ready for this. But I'm clearly going to fuck things up if I try and talk right now. I'm an emotional mess. Still willing myself to not look at her. Feeling that I was in the clear as I neared the door before I felt a hand on my shoulder. It stopped me in my tracks, not because it was a necessarily strong grip, she wasn't holding me to the spot. If anything it seemed like a desperate last touch, still gently keeping me in place, as if I was going to walk out of that door and disappear from her life.

"I just…can't" I whispered. My voice scratchy as once again I struggled to keep my emotions in check. Hoping that with those two words I didn't need to say anything else.

"You're scared" was the only response I got as she made no effort to move her hand from myself, but I didn't have the heart to push it away so I could make my escape, instead lifting my own to gently stroke along her fingertips. I reply with another soft nod. "Why?" I can tell that she is frowning simply by her voice, as she starts trying to delve a little deeper into my head.

I can almost tell what she is thinking, she wants to know why I wanted us to stay as friends. Why I was kissing her one moment and rejecting her another. You could tell her you know, about why you're so scared. Even if she never speaks to you again, at least you gave her the option to at least try to understand you.

But that means dragging up my past.

"I'm scared of myself Britt sometimes" Finally spinning around to face her, my eyes looking down at her hand that I was still holding, my thumb stroking along the backs of her fingers, tracing each knuckle delicately as if she would break at any moment. "And I'm scared of hurting you" my gaze finally travelling upwards to lock with Brittany's eyes. Those eyes that I am sure I will never get tired of viewing, however they seemed to have lost their sparkle, a duller blue than before.

"You won't hurt me" she said it with so much sincerity it made my heart beat just that little bit faster, a tiny bit of hope creeping through my veins. "I know you wouldn't" her other hand closing the distance between us to cup at my cheek.

"Not on purpose" my eyes dropping to the floor, consumed with memories that I thought I'd buried long ago. "I mean I really want us to work Britt" struggling to meet her gaze again. "But you don't know me. And I don't know you"

At that she bristled, her hands dropping away and frowning at me.

"I can't remember anything Santana." I winced slightly. Way to make a situation worse dumbass. "All I know is that I woke up in a lab and you rescued me and now I'm here. I suddenly have ice powers and that's pretty much it" her hands balling into fists slightly, small pieces of ice forming up over her hands as she got increasingly wound up.

"See" She let out the smallest sigh I think I've ever heard, waving her hands out in front of her. Pausing slightly as if deep in thought "But sometimes I get flashes of my memory back" My eyes widened slightly. I didn't know that. "Of times before I was there I think." her face scrunching up as she tried to coax the memories back. "Like I know that I don't like broccoli because it tastes funny and it looks like a small tree, or that I love cats. But I don't know how I know that. Do you understand?"

I nod. I've been doing that a lot today, I'm going to have to stop in case I get some sort of injury. Because I just don't think I can rock a neck brace… I can't help but feel sorry for Brittany. It must suck to not remember anything about herself, especially when herself is such an awesome person to begin with.

"But that doesn't matter" I heard her say. Taking my hands back in hers making me jump a little at the sudden contact, smiling down briefly as I once again melted the ice from her hands. My heart rate picking up again as our eyes reconnected. "because if I could remember I'd tell you everything" she continued, not looking away from me. "About my family, about my pets" leaning forwards and whispering into my ear, her breath tickling the skin there. "Although I'm pretty sure I have a cat" giggling softly as she pulled away. "Santana I'd share everything and anything with you. I wish I could…I just can't" she said her lips pulling into a sad pout. "But I'd like to know everything about you, maybe you can tell me why you're so scared"

"Okay" I spoke. My voice barely audible. I don't know who was more surprised at the words, Brittany's eyes wide and searching, whereas mine shifted once again to our linked hands. I have to do this. I have to tell her. And if she still wants to be with me that's amazing. If not I totally understand. "I'll tell you" Biting my lip nervously. "I can't tell you about any pets as I never had them" sending a slight smile in Brittany's direction, gulping a little before I continued "But I guess I could tell you about my life."

"It's not that I can say I disliked my parents, because that's not the case at all. it's just that they weren't really around for me to say that I loved them like I should have done"

From a small age I knew I'd always been different. Not that anyone told me specifically that I was, but I kind of had it all figured out. I mean it's not that common to be born with a birthmark that is suspiciously shaped like a flame…I'm not that stupid. But then again I never really figured it out either.

"You were born with it?" Brittany's surprised voice stealing me back to the present. Now sitting cross legged opposite me in the same position.

"Oh yeah" Lifting my clothing to reveal the slightly glowing mark. Shuddering a small amount when Brittany leaned forward to trace it with her finger tips. "If you're a true elemental you're born with a mark of your type" Trying not to think too much on Britt's lingering fingers. "So everyone here has a mark."

"I thought it had something to do with that" she pondered aloud, withdrawing her hand as she spoke. "But I didn't want to ask in case everyone just had an unfortunate skin problem or you had some sort of weird gang tattoo"

"In fact every time I tried to bring up how closely it looked like a little fire, I was shushed and told it was a silly thought. The whole subject becoming a taboo in the Lopez household. In fact the first time I was even aware that I had some sort of power was in the winter of 6th grade."

I was walking home, a common occurrence as my parents were too busy working to pick me up. A light dusting of snow covering the sidewalk as I strode the few blocks to my house. It wasn't far, but it was the principle, watching as every other student drove past. Their parents in the drivers seat asking them how their day's were or if they had any homework to do for the night. I was lucky if I got a 'Hello' after my parents crawled in exhausted after doing a night shift or coming back from an out of town business trip.

I shuffled through the snow, huffing at the few flakes that fell from the sky. Holding out my hand to catch a few snowflakes in the palm of my hand. Knowing fine well that none would ever reach me, choosing to melt before they even touched my skin. It's something that I'd noticed before, also looking around it must be a particularly bitter day today. Everyone wrapped up in gloves and scarves and various other hideous knitwear. Where I was perfectly happy in a sweater and jeans, frowning as I looked around. Was that weird?

As I continued my way home I nearly froze in my tracks, my feet skittering on the slippery surface. After noticing the group of boys stalking over towards me. Now normally I wouldn't have been bothered, I mean even though I'm 12 I'm still able to cut people down with my words.

But this was THE group of boys. As in the notorious 'Lima Heights' gang. Rumours always flew back and forth in our school about them. Rumour has it they didn't even go to school. Rumour has it they once beat up a guy for looking one directly in the eyes. See these sounded believable. You could always compare them to 'I heard they were raised by wolves' or 'I've heard the leader is actually Chuck Norris in disguise' I mean really? But whatever you hear about them the warning always stays the same. You don't mess with them.

My grip tightening on the straps of my backpack as I shuffled closer to the three boys. They looked a few years older than me, trying to make out their faces as I neared, although I couldn't directly make out any faces. The trademark black and red hoodies zipped up, obscuring quite a lot of their face. They were walking in a 'V' formation toward me, meaning that I would have to either push past them or cross the busy road beside me to get away from them.

I stupidly decided on the former. Holding my head up high and continuing straight on, trying not to focus too much on the heavily built teens in front of me. Increasing the pace of my steps in the hope that they would get me away from this place quicker. Or that maybe they wouldn't notice me, which was pretty unlikely.

The skin over my knuckles turning white as my grip increased on my bag, but still trying to look as casual as I could. Letting out the air I had been holding in as the dark-skinned guy on the very end stepped slightly to the side to let me pass a bit easier. My teeth biting together as I headed straight for the gap in the human wall, noticing him smirking at me as I went by. Cringing at the way I still had to squeeze my way through.

I smiled inwardly, that wasn't so hard, I was proud of myself for that. Before a hard blow came crashing into my shoulder sending me lurching forward. My eyes wide as I turned towards the three.

"Come on dude should we really be doing this? She's about my sisters age…and a girl" A sandy haired blonde on the opposing side whispered to the guy in the middle, clearly the one who had just hit me. I had no doubts that the 'middle man' was the leader of sorts. He was the most intimidating my far, his build was ridiculous for someone just a few years older than me. So either he was kept back a few years or he's taking a few steroids.

"So what?" He turned, brown eyes glaring at the lanky teen beside him. "I don't give a fuck" Shoving his friend in the arm, causing a small whimper to escape before turning back towards me with a snarl. "Gimme all your lunch money"

I paused. Well these aren't the ruthless thugs/killers/mafia members that I'd heard about. I mean come on, I've seen better playground bullies. Hell I'm a better bully than these clowns.

"Were you dropped on your head as an infant?" Glaring back eyebrow raised, seriously I cannot be bothered with this right now. I'm late, I'm soaking from this stupid snow and I'm hungry. That is no combination anyone wants. "It's the end of the school day. I would have used my lunch money at lunch…" Looking at him like the brain-dead idiot that he clearly is, while trying to weigh up my options. I think I'm going to go for the 'run like hell' option if shit goes down.

"Yeah well" The smallest of the three countered. "What about your bag?" Pointing at it, a little hesitantly. Clearly they weren't expecting me to fight back.

"What about it? Here you can take it if you like" Sliding it off my shoulders and holding it out. "I mean it's just got books in, which I doubt would be of use to any of you seeing as you're probably illiterate" After a few moments of stunned silence I shrugged, heaving the bag onto my back. "Or not"

In their defence, it didn't take them too long for them to figure out I was insulting them. Turning to run quickly as the more aggressive of the three leapt forward after slowly realizing that I wasn't just going to be handing all my stuff over to them. I had managed to only take a few steps before a thick hand wrapped around my bare wrist, swinging me back around.

I don't know what shocked me more. The fact that right now my face wasn't being smashed by their fists, or the incredibly girlish scream the boy had given off as he jumped back away from me.

The smell of burning reaching my nose also told me that something was a little unusual. Letting out a short scream myself as I noticed my hands had taken on an unusual…glow? A soft light covering the skin around them. Looking up I could see the pale guy in front of me cradling his right hand, sporting a pretty nasty burn. I nearly screamed again.

Oh god. Maybe they did punch me in the head and I'm actually in a coma right now, because this cannot be real. Well at least I know I'm not dead 'cause if I was this would be some strange-ass afterlife…

They all stared at me wide eyed, stepping back as I stood forward. Oh how the tables had turned, kind of, because I was just as clueless as them really.

"Oh my god is she a…"

"she can't be"

"I know dude I know" They were scrambling away from me now, their feet slipping as they tried to push one another closer to me before they ran off before I could even speak.

I'm a what? Looking down at the now receding light of my hands. Checking around me too see if anyone else had witnessed this happen just so they could tell me I was crazy. Unfortunately not, the street apparently a ghost town when a small girl is in trouble…thanks for that everyone, appreciate it. Nice to know I could count on you in an emergency I thought, glaring at no one in particular.

"That's kind of how Snixx was born" Smiling to myself if anything, knowing that Brittany probably wouldn't be able to appreciate Snixx in all her glory.

"Who?" Brittany, very understandably, looked confused as hell, her head tilting to the side with a frown. I had to resist any urge to lean over and kiss her on the cheek at her adorableness.

"Snixx. My sassy alter ego" Shrugging as that was the only way I could really describe her. She comes out at the most random times though, she has a lot of rage issues. Just don't tell her I said that.

"Isn't this one sassy enough?" Brittany questioned with a grin, causing me to laugh as she pointed as me.

"I guess not" I chuckled, brushing some hair away from my face. "Well after talking with my family I decided if I was going to have powers I was going to have a nickname to go with it"

It had been a few days before what had happened slipped out to my parents after my mami found me trying to set twigs on fire in the backyard. After a small interrogation and a few raised eyebrows I finally spilled my true intentions of why I had been glaring at a stick for a half hour.

Now we were all sitting around the kitchen table, papi included. I mean it was unusual for my parents to be in the same state at one time, never mind the Lopez household, what are the chances of it happening right now. About the same chance as me suddenly having crazy heat powers. I wonder if I could fight crime. Although I don't really see how I could chase down bad guys with slightly heated palms, so maybe not. They say great power comes with great responsibility. I think mine would be with mediocre power comes none at all…

"Santana" my father snaps. I jumped, sitting bolt upright at his tone. "Were you even listening?"

My sheepish smile as a response told him that I hadn't been. As he just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, my mom just soothing his shoulder with her hand.

"Look Santana" He continued, knowing that he finally had my attention. "This is really important." His dark eyes shifting between me and my mother, who gave him a small nod of reassurance. "Do you remember those stories your abuela used to tell you?"

I frowned. Of course I did. Every time I would go over to her house, I would sit on her lap as she told me great tales of people that could move mountains, calm a stormy sea with a flick of their wrist, hover gracefully through the air and shoot flames from their hand. But what did that have to do with…

"They aren't stories" My mami's soft voice reaching my ears. Looking to her for a further explanation.

"Wh-what?" My voice stuttering as I literally had no idea what was going on.

"You're an Elemental Santana" her hand reaching over the small kitchen table to grasp mine briefly before pulling away. "Just. Just have a look at your birthmark would you mija?"

I nervously slipped my hands down to the hem of my shirt, trying to get them to stop shaking as I help the material in my hands, slowly pulling the fabric and unveiling my mark to everyone.

There was a collective gasp as it was revealed. My mouth hanging open in shock, before I'd always thought having a flame shaped birthmark was pretty cool. Well it just got cooler as it was glowing a faded shade of red. One of my hands dropping down to lightly press against it, where it was warm to the touch.

"And were you ever going to tell me" I asked sharply, wondering why I had been kept in the dark about this. While still trying to get my head around the fact that I was in fact born to make fire.

"We were going to wait until you were older" My mother pulling standing up from her chair with a scraping noise against the floor. Walking the short distance to me and pulling me up into a hug. "We just never knew you'd be this powerful so soon"

"It was great for a few weeks, I was really exited to figure out how to use my powers" Looking down to find that I had begun playing with Brittany's fingers as I spoke. "Until word got round about how I had 'brutally scarred' those boys" Scoffing as I recalled the whispers and looks received as I walked into my lessons the day after the rumours got around. "Suddenly no one wanted to speak to me or sit beside me out of fear." Looking towards Brittany as she gently squeezed my hand, sending a shaky smile in her direction. "It was their bullying that hurt the most though"

I breathed out. Today was going to be great, I could just feel it. A smile finding its way across my face as I pulled my hair back into it's usual high pony and smoothing down the wrinkles in my cheerleading uniform. So far sophomore year had been going well for me, co-captain of the Cheerios, a pretty damn good GPA if I say so myself and to top it all off I am pretty sure I am the hottest piece of ass in this school. Chuckling a little as I closed my locker door.

And followed by someone walking right into me. A murmur of 'Watch it freak' following the offender down the hallway with the others.

I sighed. Despite my position on the cheerleading squad, despite my grades and (obvious) good looks I would still consider myself an outcast. Rearranging the book bag on my shoulder and walking down to my next class.

Maybe they were scared I was going to burn them to a crisp. I kind of got along with the cheering squad, but I think they resented me for being vice captain even though I worked damn hard for that spot. I was popular, but not included, it was like people felt obliged to talk to me just because I was there.

It could be my anger issues keeping people away too.

I laughed to myself at that. Duh! of course that's what it is. It's not a lie when I say I have a 'fiery temper' There have been many times I've snapped and gone a little too far with my words. Poor Suzy Pepper.

Most people have learned not to actively seek me out to bully me. Because when that happens I can't really control my rage. Sparks literally fly and I can't control them. It's like a red mist descends and I can't shake it off, it physically hurts to not unleash my powers when I'm feeling like that. But the more I try to control it the worse it gets.

The amount of times I've had to run and lock myself in a cubicle in the girls toilets so I don't harm anyone, are too many to even count. Crying silently to myself as flames spew out of my hands until I calm myself down.

I roll my eyes as the bell rings, packing everything into my bag. Another wasted lesson, I mean maths is great and all, but when you start putting numbers in, it all goes wrong. At least I can chill out at home after cheerios practice.

I stumble back into the locker room. To say I can barely breathe is an understatement, a burning sensation in my chest with each intake of air. Coach really worked us hard today, but hey at least I wasn't one of the ones that puked I thought to myself barely able to put the combination in my locker as it required slight arm movement.

I decided to skip a shower, pulling on sweats and a hoodie, neatly folding away my discarded clothes and putting them into my bag.

"Better watch out when we're changing girls, especially when Lopez is here"

Wait hold up.

"What?" I lifted my head to be met with the other co-captain of our squad. The bitchy as fuck Kitty, standing there with her arms crossed and a smirk on her creepy looking face. I swear in certain lights she looks like a 40 year old man, maybe she's like that cray cray girl from orphan and she's just disguised as a teen.

"We all know about you Santana" she replied, my head tilting in confusion at her words.

"Well done you want a fucking star? it's no secret I'm an elemental" I scoffed, resuming my packing.

"Aww no Sanny." I cringed at her nickname. "Apparently that's just the start of your abnormal existence. I was talking about your lesbian tendencies."

My heart stopped. Fuck, fuck, a million times fuck. My bag slipping from my grasp and to the floor.

"Oh is Lopez silent for once" she said with a grin. My eyes darting around to the other girls in the room, looking at me with either disgust or death stares. Why did they all have to be in the god squad…seriously this is just my luck. "Emily saw you with that skank at Matt's party"

"I was drunk" I countered, this was going to be the weakest argument ever seeing as they had already made up their minds. They wouldn't be lying either, I had been wondering if I did indeed have an attraction to girls, seeing as guys never did it for me, nearly gagging at the thought. But apparently the only time I've ever acted on an attraction to a girl and I get caught…just my luck.

"You seemed sober enough to me" I heard Emily speak up beside Kitty, as I bit my lip nervously. "I mean you seemed to find your way into her shirt quick enough"

"Shut up" I shouted, surprising myself with the force of my words. My hands lighting up as I shook with anger and fear at the fact everyone knew I like girls way earlier than I thought they would. I half expected them to run, but instead I heard a sinister chuckle from Kitty.

"Now girls"

The first blow to my face was unexpected, reeling back in shock as the liquid hit me. It was cold and stick and…sweet? My eyes burning as I realized what had happened. I'd been slushied. My face burning with shame and my throat stung as I willed myself not to cry. My fire extinguishing as numerous hits of the icy drink hit me coolit it down and breaking my concentration. All I felt was sadness. I tried swiping out blindly as the dye seeped into my eyes and my clothes. Feeling hands pushing me as I writhed to escape them.

With a thud I hit the ground. My hands stinging as I had tried to cushion myself from the tiled floor.

"This should cool you off a bit" I heard another remark from Kitty.

I heard the creaking of the faucet, before I knew what was happening. The icy water hitting me as I curled up into a ball, sobbing as I heard footsteps moving away from me.

"She only did it to try and get me to quit cheerios" I laughed bitterly.

"Oh my god Santana"

I was crying now, reflecting back on my time at school was never a good thing for me. But that hurt. I was pulled into a hug before I knew it, albeit awkward due to the way we were sitting, but I would never complain about getting a hug from Brittany.

"So I guess you were outed after that" I just nodded into her neck, pulling away gently as I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand.

"Yeah I gave a whole new meaning to 'flaming homo'" Smiling when I heard Brittany laugh at my awful excuse for a joke.

"But I don't understand honey" My heart fluttering a little at her term of endearment, her hand finding mine as it rested on my leg. "What has this got to do with you being scared?"

I stopped smiling, my lips pulling to a tight line. "Because I hurt someone Britt" My eyes closing again as I was sure I was going to cry again. "I hurt someone that I never thought I would" I let out a shuddering breath and began. "It was senior prom" I opened my eyes looking at Brittany who just looked back with concern.

"After being outed the whole school was pretty much against me. I toughened myself up, basically cut down anyone in my way" I blushed at how much of a bitch I was making myself out to sound, Brittany didn't seem effected though, her eyes just looking in interest. "Apart from this one girl."

I growled. There's no way she's ditching me for him. Watching as my date left the room with one of the blonde football players. Downing my glass of punch, secretly glad that someone was able to spike it, thankful for the alcohol in my system right now. Leaping to my feet to go after them.

Stalking down the hallway I could hear the two of them talking around the corner, doing my best to keep calm as I raged quietly to myself. Pressing myself against the wall, my heart breaking as I heard her laughing with him.

"What the fuck" I shouted, leaping out from around the corner. My head catching up with my eyes as I tried to work out what was happening, she was pressed up against the wall his head buried deep into her neck, marking her as his own.

"Oh my god Santana" She shrieked, pushing him away from her. "This isn't what it looks like"

"Oh really? well do explain" I spat out.

Her stumbling over words told me that it was exactly what it looked like.

I glared at the boy as I saw him out of the corner of my eye shuffling to escape. My emotions at boiling point as I stormed over to him, grabbing him by the collar and pushing him up against the lockers.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Doing my best to not set him on fire right now. "Why would you go off with her knowing she came as my date"

He just laughed.

"Come on, give it a rest." He said with a sneer. "Like you could compete for a woman against a man…I mean it's not like you were putting out or anything"

I snapped, slamming my fist into the lockers beside his head, quietening him. Feeling my hands start to heat up as he pushed himself away from me.

"Come on then" I shouted, as he started to walk away. "Or wouldn't you hit a girl?"

"Do lesbians count as girls?" he turned with a smirk

I shouted out. My hands lighting up with that now familiar sensation, running towards him and taking a swing at his head. He dodged it, taking a swipe at me, which I also avoided. Smiling as I swung again, barely missing him, but managing to singe his probably rented tux. I growled and sent a punch my way, connecting in my stomach.

I stumbled back coughing as he aimed again. But I was too fast, my leg kicking out and connecting with his crotch. He fell to the floor gasping as I sent another kick to his ribs. I pulled back my flaming hand, aiming for his face. Before I felt a hand on my wrist.

"Leave me alone" I spat out at my so-called date, but she wouldn't let up. "Let go" I tried again, her grip tightening. She didn't understand that this was it, I had finally had enough of the sly words and the 'accidental' hits, I had never tried to be violent before. I just wanted this finished. "Let. Go" I shouted, blindly lashing out with my other hand, my face whitening in horror as I felt it connect.

She fell to the floor with a scream. An angry red mark across her arm, my eyes filling with tears as she cradled it gently. My hands rapidly cooling as I fell to my knees beside her.

"I-I'm sorry" I choked out, reaching out to help. A sob ripping out of my throat as she just whimpered and pushed herself back against the lockers, away from my touch.

I felt a rough hand push me out of the way, it was the blonde football player. I scrambled to my feet. Watching as he inspected her arm, two sets of accusing eyes looking up to me as I turned to run.

The echoes of my heels following me as I sprinted down the hallway.

"You've really done it now Lopez" I hear him shout after me.

"But that wasn't your fault" I heard Brittany whisper as she dragged myself back into the present.

"I guess in my heart I know it was an accident" I admitted. "But that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I can't control myself " My heart pounding as I even thought about harming Brittany and pounding even harder at the thought of her hurting me like that bitch had "And Britt it's because I don't want to hurt you that I can't be with you"

"But it's hurting me not being with you San"

"It's hurting me too Britt" I admitted my head hanging low, even right now the desire to lean over and kiss her was enormous.

As if reading my mind she closed the gap between us and placed a soft kiss on my cheek, waiting so I would turn and look at her.

"I trust you and I would never hurt you like she did, ever." She breathed out, her eyes burning with so much certainty. this girl, this beautiful girl who followed me here without a second thought, of course she trusts me. Just like I trust her. I nod and she responds with "Would it make it easier if I asked?"

It took me a while to realize what she was trying to say, but I knew she was saying more with her eyes than words ever could. I smiled, rubbing small circled on the back of the hand that I was holding. "Yes" I spoke, barely audible in the vast space of the room.

Brittany grinned, matching my own delighted smile.

"Santana Lopez" My breath stopping, feeling my pulse increase with each moment she waited. "Would you be my girlfriend?"

Aww.

As usual I'm totally interested in hearing your thoughts, reviews, comments…unless you're going to be a mean about it ;) but seriously especially this chapter, I hope it makes sense. I'll totally explain stuff if you'd like to ask anything.

I am still raging at the break up episode…because if they've done this so they can jump into the arms of someone else and/or never talk again, I am going to flip my shit, then cry, then kill Ryan Murphy, then cry again, then start writing for Glee. Where everything will be Brittana and nothing will hurt.

Actually speaking of writing, I'm planning on doing a few GKM one-shots so look out for them *cough* they'll be M rated for sure *cough* and I'm already making notes (yes I'm actually planning this one) for another Brittana AU but I won't start seeing it yet as you all know it takes me a while to do this one :')

See you soon(-ish)