Title: Not All as It Seems
Warnings: Comedy galore, and beware of fluff and loviness
Pairings: Gaara/Young, Shikamaru/Temari, Naruto/Sakura/Lee (for more comedy), attempts at Naruto/Hinata and Mist/Ino (he does try, bless him giggle); any requests? Don't hesitate to ask me, and I'll try my best
Disclaimer: Let's put it this way, if Naruto was mine, Gaara would have reappeared in Shippuden much earlier than he did. And if it was mine, I'd give Sari more screen-time too! (what? Sasuke has a bajillion fangirls in the show, and Gaara can't have one? Outrageous!)
Claimer: The characters Granny Nadia, Dawn Tribal, Young Valentine and Mist Shidou are mine and mine alone! If you wanna borrow them for a story of your own, feel free to ask. I'll always say yes. Young is the only character I've created (way back in 2002, phew) that I've actually really liked, and she went through various phases and changes before I put her into the novel I'm writing (which I'll hopefully see published one day).
My Thank You Corner Continues…
DidiTwitches – thank you, thank you, thank you for yet another lovely review! You really made my day with your encouraging words! prances and dances
J. S. Comack – wow! Thanks a million for reviewing it, faving it AND putting it on your Story Alert! You don't know how much that inspired and encouraged me! Thank you! \^-^/
A/N: Don't ask me how these chapters keep getting longer… It's a mystery… (Scooby Doo, Where are You!)
Chapter 5
First Day of School and… Cross-Dressing?
8th December, 2002 (Sunday)
"No one can defeat me! Look at my huge sword and cool sunglasses!" said Auron oh-so proudly.
"Golly! What a hunk!" said Aeris, clasping her hands to her cheek.
"He's got nothin' on me!" intervened Pan, ready to kick some plastic butt.
"What can you do? You're just a chick!" put in Kaiobit.
"Oh yeah? Take this… Karate!" shouted Pan whilst landing a swift kick to his chest.
"Oh no! This doesn't bode well for Sir Auron! Whatever shall he do?" I said in a dramatic voice, posing my Auron and Aeris action-figures to fight off the evil Pan. "This looks like a job for the all-powerful Pez Teddy!"
Hm… I still couldn't make heads or tails of what I wanted to say for that speech thing tomorrow, so I'd convinced Gaara earlier to give me some alone-time in my room to calmly figure it out. Sometime later found a bunch of my action-figures spread around my bed, and the speech long-forgotten.
Just as I was about to make Teddy thwack Pan where the sun don't shine, a soft knock sounded at my door.
"Come on in!" I said without thinking.
"I wanted to let you know… What's all this?" came Gaara's astonished voice at what I was doing. If he wasn't such a calm and collected person, I'm sure his jaw would have been somewhere on the floor at this moment.
"Uh… I was… just, let's see… I was practicing my speech… Yeah, that's it! I was just pretending these figures here were the other students and teachers, yeah!" I attempted, my eyes glued to the carpet next to my bed.
From the corner of my eye I saw him give me a most stern look that told me he didn't believe a word I said…
Wait! Wait a minute! Why should I be afraid of him? So what if I was playing? This is a free country, and I have every right to do what I want in MY room! He's not the boss of me!
"Okay, fine! Ya caught me! I was playing with MY toys in MY home! What, you gonna tell on me?"
What are you going to say to that, tough guy?
"No, no, go ahead and play with your dolls. It's time I was on my way home, anyway," was his calm answer.
Dolls! These aren't dolls! These are… Wait, did he say he was going to leave?
"Wait! Don't go! I'll work! I'll work!" I cried, clinging to one of his legs. (oh dear, if Naruto saw me now he'd never let me live this down)
"I'll have to go pretty soon," he said, sounding like he was trying to hide a chuckle.
Standing up straight, I looked at him with panic plastered all over my face. "You mean you'd leave me here? All by myself? At night? Alone? With no one around?"
"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"
"Nuh-uh! I'd never do that, but please, please stay!" I begged clasping my hands together in front of my face.
"I should have been home hours ago," he said with a hand tucked under his chin.
"Ah, just stay the night! I'll deal with your nasty father… whoops!"
Yikes! He did look angry. But then again, it didn't look like he was angry at what I'd said. More like he was angry at the thought of his father talking to me. Of course, I could be wrong.
"Sorry, I didn't mean that," I mumbled. (oh yes, I did!)
"Yes, you did. Stop lying to me," Gaara said in a cross voice.
Running one hand sheepishly behind my head, I offered, "Sorry…" then added, "But he was being mean to you earlier! I can't forgive that!"
He was about to say something back, but thankfully I was spared when the phone rang. That was literally the only time in my life that I was happy, no eager, to answer it.
I raced to the kitchen, ignoring my fluttering heartbeat and rosy cheeks, and picked up the cordless phone lying on the kitchen counter.
"He-hello?"
"That you, kiddo?" came the familiar elderly voice on the other end.
"Granny? How'd you get this number?" I asked in surprise.
"I had Gaara give it to me before you left, just in case," she said cheerfully.
"Swell!" I wonder… "Say, you think it'd be okay if he stayed here tonight? I don't want to be here all alone."
"What about your parents?"
"Business dinner."
"Well, if it'll keep my Gaara away from that yutz son-in-law of mine, I'd have to say yes," she replied, though she sounded like she partly wanted him to come home.
"Wow, Granny! You're the awesomest person ever!"
"Put him on, why don't you, dearie?" she asked, sounding quite pleased.
"You bet!" I said and ran to do just that.
Giving him some privacy, I searched around for some extra pillows and blankets and set them on the huge window seat in my room. I admired for the hundredth time how large it was. An average-sized person like me could easily (and comfortably) sleep there.
As I was fluffing up the pillows, there came a tap on my shoulder. Miraculously, I didn't get startled this time. Right now I was inexplicably happy, and I felt like nothing at all could faze me. I wasn't even worried about the speech anymore.
"Uh-huh?"
"Looks like you're getting your wish this time," my friend said in a tone of voice that seemed to say, 'what just happened?'
"Oh really?"
At the sound of him clearing his throat I was reminded how I upset him by lying earlier. I guess playing dumb was out of the question, then.
"You didn't leave me much choice, now did you? Besides, you wouldn't really leave me here alone and scared, would you?"
"Hmph," was his answer.
"Riiiiight. I'll take that as a, 'why no, of course not, pal of mine!' I'm just gonna get me some coffee and then I'll get down with that speech, even if it takes me all night."
A few minutes later, and after our argument on who should sleep on the bed (he wouldn't hear of me sleeping on the window seat, but what kind of hostess would I be if I had him sleep on the couch?), I was snuggled amongst four sheets of blankets on said window seat, coffee mug well within reach, and a stack of papers resting on my lap.
"Should I open it with a joke? I have a pretty good one in mind," I pondered out loud, drumming my pen against the wall.
"What is it?" he humored me, pausing from studying my collection of books.
"Here goes: 'I was walking down the road, when I came across two unusual chaps.' Now say, 'why were they unusual?'"
"What?"
"Come on, play along!"
With an impatient sigh he muttered, "Why were they unusual?"
"'Well, they were unlike most blokes I'd ever met. One told me he is too afraid to play scary video games, whereas the other insists on doing his homework on a Friday night. Isn't that…'"
Before I could finish my sentence, the pillow on my bed was flung across the room, hitting me square on the face and knocking my reading glasses onto the sheets.
Whoopsie, looks like he figured out who I was joking about.
"Uh, maybe we should skip the joke," I said with a weak grin.
"Yes, maybe we should," he answered with a smirk.
v-v
"Okay then, Gaara. Take a gander at this one," I said while highlighting a particularly funny paragraph. But as I looked up to read it to him, I saw that he was sound asleep.
Still fully dressed with his shoes pressed to the bedspread, he had one arm resting on his tummy and the other on his forehead. The book he'd been reading was left open lying on his chest, rising and falling with each breath.
I had half a mind to wake him and scold him for putting his shoes on my bed like that, but I quickly thought better of it. He gets so little sleep, he must have been beyond exhausted by now.
Taking a couple of the sheets I had wrapped around me, I covered Gaara up with them, taking the book (The Funhouse - ooh, does he like Dean Koontz, too?) and placing it on my desk, which was now laden with crumpled paper. After that, without realizing what I was doing, I walked back to the bed, bent down and pressed a tiny kiss on his left cheek.
"'Night, 'night," I said in a whispered voice.
Going back to my makeshift bed, I put my successfully completed speech alongside the crumpled bits of paper, turned off the lights and settled in for the night.
v-v
By 5 o' clock, I was awake and no matter how I tried, I couldn't get back to sleep. Just for the heck of it, I tried counting sheep, but I gave up after getting to 200 and being even more awake than before.
Stretching my arms wide open, I noted my friend was still asleep. Looking behind me, I could see the first rays of sunshine rising slowly. There were just a few clouds and it was fairly windy.
Keeping as quiet as I could, I opened up my bag to make sure I had everything ready for school and tucked in my speech between my math book and a couple of comics.
After a quick shower and dressing in the same clothes I had on last night, I poured some Fruit Loops in a bowl and plopped down on the couch. However, since I could find nothing good on the tube, I got back up to toss a video in the VCR. Ah, Sleeping Beauty! Let's watch that!
However, just as I was getting the ancient tape out of its worn box, my ears were treated (or not) to the irritating Pokémon theme song… What the?
Turning my head back, I saw my little brother holding the remote triumphantly in one of his hands and munching on my cereal! Why, I oughta just pummel him, here and now!
"What's the big idea, you little twerp! That's my breakfast, and in case you didn't know, I was watching that first!" I growled, trying to keep my voice down and pointing at the box still clasped in my hand.
"Sleeping Beauty's dumb," he said in his annoying voice (no, it is NOT cute).
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Must you two always argue?" interrupted my mom's voice from the kitchen. Hmph! Knowing her, she'll most likely take his side, for he is so cute and can do no wrong!
Hm… Except I'm not going to give her a chance to do that this time, because I'm not gonna argue about it any further! Ha!
"Whatever, watch your Puke… I mean, Pokémon. I've got better things to do."
With that, I marched off to my room, feeling quite tempted to throw the nearest hard object at my brother's face - but since that object happened to be my dad's bulky laptop, I quickly dismissed it.
Back in my room, I saw that my friend was still sleeping quite soundly. Usually being the last to rise in the morning, I felt this scenario to be downright peculiar.
Leaning over his face, I gave him a few soft taps to his cheeks. "Hey, Gaara! Wakey, wakey! Breakfast's ready! And my bro happens to be eatin' it! Wakey, wakey!"
Opening his eyes and smacking my hands away, he grumbled, "Don't do that."
"Why's everyone being so mean to me this morning? Sheesh!"
"What time is it?" he asked, ignoring my whining.
"Nearly 6, your Royal Majesty," I teased pointing at the clock just behind his head.
Pretending he still couldn't see it, he proceeded to get ready himself.
v-v
"Man, I can't believe in a few minutes I'll be reading out that speech in front of everybody! I need some orange soda!"
"We don't have time for that," was my friend's calm response, sounding rather amused with how panicky I was being.
"I wonder if I should try picturing everyone in their underwear?" I thought out loud, effectively halting Gaara in his steps, which caused me to smack my face into his back.
"Hey, why'd you stop?" I asked rubbing my sore cheek.
"What did you just say?"
"I said, 'Hey, why'd you stop?'"
"Before that!" he snapped in annoyance.
"Oh, that part! Well, they say if you do that you just might start laughing. At least, that's what I heard."
"Where do you hear these things?" Gaara asked, running a hand through his (perfect) locks.
"TV, books, magazines, comics, internet," I began, counting them down on my fingers.
"I get the idea," he mumbled.
Before I could throw a witty and sarcastic remark at him, I saw a bunch of kids sitting on the steps leading up to the school, chattering away happily.
"Ooh, there's Naruto and Lee!" I said pointing and running to them.
"Good morning, Gaara, Claire," said Lee in his polite voice.
"S'up, guys!" I greeted back, aiming a friendly punch at Naruto's shoulder.
I expected a similar greeting from him in return, but he didn't seem to have even acknowledged that I was there. Actually, looking closely, he was staring at something or someone. Turning round and looking in the same direction he was, I saw a pretty pink-haired girl talking to a couple of brunette girls.
"So, like, which of those ladies are you gawking at, lover boy?"
"I'm not gawking!" he finally said.
"Please! I'm surprised she hasn't burst into flames yet!"
"No way, not my Sakura!" he replied, his voice sounding really lovey and stuff.
"Excuse me, but Miss Sakura is not yours," intervened Lee.
"Well, she's not yours, either!" challenged Naruto, the two boys aiming rather ferocious looks at each other.
"This is real fascinating and all, but I could really use some…"
I was interrupted when I felt someone clinging to my back, and I jumped in shock. Turning my face a bit, I noticed a really cute blonde girl trying to conceal her face against my jacket.
"Girl, give me some personal space, why don't ya?"
"I was just saying the same thing to that stupid Mist! Why won't he leave me alone already!" the girl cried in exasperation.
Just as I was about to ask, I heard someone say, "You can't escape from our love, my little Ino-chan!"
"Gotta run!" the girl named Ino said as she fled.
"Mist, why must you always be such a clown?" a feminine voice asked the strange boy.
"You shouldn't speak to your big brother like that, ya know?"
Turning my eyes, I saw a goofy black-haired boy walking alongside a really short redhead girl. Hm… Was it just me, or was Gaara looking at the girl a little too closely? It had better be just me.
"Oh hiya, Naruto and Lee! Ya seen my Ino-chan anywhere?" Mist asked, running his fingers through his extremely long ponytail.
"Yeah, she ran away screaming that way!" Naruto chortled.
"Hey, you must be the new kid we were waitin' for!" the strange boy said to me.
"Uh, yeah…" I said in a lazy drawl. Egh, why was Gaara still staring at that girl? I bet she wasn't even a natural redhead!
"Mist, at your service!" came the boy's greeting, not noticing my frustration. "And that there is my baby half-sister, Young, whom my man Gaara had better stop staring at before I make him see stars!"
All of this was said in one deep breath, and next thing I knew, Gaara was staring at his feet, seeming to debate whether he should keep his mouth shut or take Mist up on his challenge. Thankfully, he chose the former of the two.
"It's official. Men are insane!" I said to no one in particular, and went to join up with the Sakura girl and her two friends.
"Oh, hello there," she greeted in a friendly voice. She was taller than me by just a few inches, and her green eyes looked extremely upbeat. Her hair went just past her shoulders, which was kept back neatly with a blue hair-band.
"Hiya!" joined in the taller of the brunettes.
"I'm Sakura, pleased to meet you."
"Sari here!"
"Um, and I'm Matsuri."
"Well, hello to all of ya. The name's Claire, but I'd rather you called me Cat," I said randomly.
"Why 'Cat'?" asked Sari curiously, giving her bandana a small tug.
"Cuz my godparents named me Anne and Tracey, so adding those initials to my first name forms Cat."
"So everyone calls ya 'Cat'?
"Uh, well, no… But there's no time like the present."
Speaking of the present, the huge doors suddenly opened, and we started making our way inside.
That's when things started to go spectacularly wrong.
v-v
"Yay! Vending-machine!" I cheered.
"Let me guess, orange soda, right?" Naruto asked.
"Cute, real cute," I mumbled rummaging in my bag and triumphantly fishing out my wallet. Not noticing that something had fallen by my backpack, I tossed 2 quarters in the machine.
No sooner had the bottle of sweet bubbly goodness fallen down from its compartment that I was swigging it down at record speed.
"Let's go, already! I sure hope you mentioned me in your speech!" Naruto said tugging at my sleeves.
"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't," I said back, trying to find my speech as we were walking down the corridor. I froze on the spot when I failed. Tossing the bag on the floor, I practically shoved my head inside and still couldn't find it.
"What are you doing? Don't tell me you forgot to bring it with you," came Gaara's voice next to me.
Ggh, bloody cheek! Why doesn't he just go back to staring at that Young chick instead of patronizing me!
"I didn't forget to bring it, you numbskull!" I growled as I let everything tumble out of my schoolbag.
"Ooh, you brought comics with you! Good call!" the blonde said in blissful ignorance.
"Well, we can clearly see it's not here," the redhead said. Okay, if he says just one more thing, I'm going to slap him so hard his great-great-great-great-great-grandparents will be the ones seeing stars!
"You know, there's a saying that goes, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all! So do me a favor; if you're going to be jerk, be it somewhere else!"
Looking back at him, I felt extremely guilty almost instantly. He looked like I'd smacked him with my words alone.
"Sorry, Gaara. I swear I didn't mean that," I quickly said, putting everything back in place.
"I got an idea!" Naruto suddenly said.
"Naruto, are you trying to get her in detention on her first day?" demanded Lee.
"That's low, Lee!"
"Maybe I should just wing it…" I mumbled.
"Hey, that was what I was gonna say!"
I sighed. It's not like I had any other choice.
v-v
"Ah, so nice of you to finally join us, boys," a blonde woman said, smiling sweetly (and dangerously) at my friends, who looked like they might just crumble under her wrath.
Obeying her silent command, they went to their seats, not missing the giggles coming from most of the girls.
"Come over here, then…"
"But, ma'am, I have a problem," I began in a terrified voice. This lady looked so scary; even though she looked like she could easily pass for a supermodel, she also looked like she could melt steel simply by looking at it.
"You have nothing prepared?" she asked, giving me that icy smile and scary glint.
"Yes… uh, no… Um, I… did write it, but…"
"Speak clearly!"
"I wrote it, I swear, but I think…"
"You left it at home, eh?"
Twiddling my fingers together I found myself unable to defend myself against her. Winging it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. Not that it was a good idea in the first place, but since it was all I had…
"Ma'am, I have an interesting idea," said a mild-mannered woman.
"Let's hear it, Shizune," she demanded, crossing her arms. (whoa, this woman is really busty!)
"Instead of a speech, why don't we just have a Q&A session?"
"Hm, yes. Why not?" Turning to me, she barked, "Well? What are you waiting for, girl! Step in front of your fellow students!"
"Y-yes, Ms. Boo… er, I mean, Ms. Breas…! Ms. Lady, ma'am!"
"You heard Shizune, children. Ask your questions, and avoid any idiocy," she warned, her stare seeming to linger on Naruto longer than anyone else's.
Almost immediately, everyone's hands shot up. Ugh, I feel like the sideshow freak!
"Yes, Sari?"
Said girl was practically bouncing on her chair as she asked, "Who's your favorite superhero?"
"Spider-Man," I answered, tucking my hands in my pockets.
"Oh, go on! Captain America can beat his butt any time of the day!" interjected Mist.
"Quiet, boy! You'll speak when I give you permission to do so!" She then switched her gaze to a lazy-looking girl with peach-pink hair. "Go on, Tayuya."
"Who would you label as the sexiest man alive?"
"Gee, that's a tough one. I can never seem to decide. But I think I can safely say that I'd put all my money on Will Smith."
So it went on like that for the next half hour; people asking me about music, movies, games, guys, etc. To be honest, I didn't find anyone's questions all that interesting or even clever, that is until the final question came.
"What does the word 'friend' mean to you?"
"Finally, a good question! You lot can learn a thing or two from Gaara!" the woman (Tsunade) said.
This earned my friend an arsenal of glares from most of the other students, with some of them mumbling, "teacher's pet," under their breaths.
Tapping my chin, I began to ponder how I should answer this.
"Welp, Gaara, here's what I think. To me, a friend is someone who's always honest with you, no matter what, and someone who always has your back, no matter what. A lot like you, actually." (hey, I couldn't resist)
"Well put, well put," then, "All right, everyone! Back to work! Back to work! We're already behind schedule for the day!"
Rubbing my forehead in relief, I all but floated to the desk that had been reserved for me.
v-v
2 excruciatingly boring Math lessons later, in which I got no special treatment whatsoever for being the new student and all, the students were piling up in the cafeteria for lunch. My Kingdom for a hundred bottles of orange soda…
As I was putting in some loose change into the machine I felt a tap on my back.
"I'll be only a minute," I said without turning round.
As I was entering the numbers on the machine, the tapping came again.
"Don't rush me!" I snapped as I entered the last digit.
At the last insistent tap, I blew a gasket. "Now see here, you…!" I swallowed my tongue when I saw that the person poking me was none other than that Meno girl.
"I think this is yours," she smirked, holding my thought-lost speech between her thumb and index finger.
"My speech! Where d'ya find it?" I demanded, making a grab for it. She pulled back easily.
"Right there, where you're standing."
D'oh! I can't believe I didn't think of retracing my steps to here!
"Yes, well, don't expect me to thank you or anything," I remarked with my nose held in the air.
"Of course not. I have a better plan in mind, anyway," she said evilly, giving the back of the pages a delicate flick.
Oh no…
Play dumb, Claire. Just play dumb!
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Then I'll read it to you and refresh your memory," she said, clearing her throat.
"'I can honestly say that Gaara is just about the most gorgeous and sweetest boy I've ever met in my entire life. The times I've spent with him were the most fun I've ever had with anyone.' Hmph, you sure have bad tastes, to say the least."
I kept my head down, my cheeks burning red. I was practically restraining myself from pouncing on her and ripping every strand of her hair from her fluff-filled head.
"You're not really going to show that to the other students! Are you?"
"Depends on you, really," she said, her voice filled with hate.
"Whatever it'll take to keep your mouth shut," I muttered and quickly ran off. I wasn't going to be able to restrain myself for much longer.
v-v
"What's with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" said Naruto while stuffing his mouth with food.
'Yeah, a ghost with blue eyes and a really awful hairdo…'
"Mind your business," was all I managed to say, taking a tiny bite of my egg-salad sandwich.
"You do seem a little pale," put in Lee.
"Hello! I'm always pale!" I grumbled, tossing the rest of my sandwich on its tray, appetite completely gone.
"Are you all right?" joined in Gaara.
'No…'
"Never better."
"Mind if I join you guys?" suddenly came the blonde girl from earlier, squishing herself between Gaara and myself.
"Mist still chasing after your heart?" Naruto teased.
"He's a hopeless goof! The only good thing he can actually do is play the piano, but that's certainly not enough for me," she said.
"Where is he now?"
"I don't care! As long as he didn't see me come here!"
Before I could join in the conversation, someone poked me on top of my head.
I knew who it was without even needing to look up. The hateful glares that the others were aiming behind me pretty much confirmed it anyway.
Best to just get on and be done with it…
v-v
"Have you officially lost your mind? Why did you let Meno order you about like that?"
'I didn't see you object in any way!' I wanted to snap at them all. They all asked me the same thing in their own way. As if it hadn't been enough that that stupid cow made me do all those humiliating and even degrading things… Their patronization was the last thing I needed.
"Say, Gaara? Can I come over? I could really speak to Granny Nadia right now," I said, my voice sounding really pitiful to my ears.
"I suppose…"
"Hey, no fair! If she's going, I'm going too!" Naruto interrupted, looking really insulted.
Well, I do owe Gaara a lot for this…
"Oh no! There's Sakura kissing some other guy behind your back!" I shouted out.
"What? How dare some poser try to steal away my Sakura!" Naruto screamed, running off in search for his enemy that didn't exist.
"No! Miss Sakura!" Lee bellowed, ready to fight for his love and joining Naruto in the grand chase.
"Let's go before they catch on," I mumbled tugging at his hands.
v-v
"Blackmailed, eh?" said Granny, taking a sip of her tea.
"Yeah. Do you think you could give me some old-worldly advice or something? I don't know who else to turn to."
"This reminds me of the time my sworn enemy, Gertrude, tried to pull the same stunt on me when I was just a wee thing."
"What did you do?" I asked in a hopeful voice.
"My father found out about the whole thing and threatened to snap her neck like a twig," she said casually.
"So… I should tell my dad and ask him to snap her neck like a twig?"
"No, no. What you should do is find some embarrassing secret that she is hiding and use that against her."
"In other words, I should try blackmailing her like she's doing to me now?"
"You should, but you really don't look like you're capable of that," she said.
"Just as well. Blackmailing is wrong, even if she happens to be the most evil, vile, repulsive cow that ever lived." This isn't working at all. "You know what? I feel that I should try and handle this on my own. Thanks anyway, Granny."
As I tried to make my way around to Gaara's room, I began to feel the downside of living in such a huge house. No way was I going to be able to find it in this maze!
"Say, who are you?" someone suddenly asked.
Turning round, I found myself face to face with Gaara's old man.
"You! I have a few choice words to say to you!"
"Uh, have we even met before?" he asked cluelessly.
"Technically, we have. First of all, how dare you act so mean towards Gaara? I oughta have kicked your butt there and then!"
"Hey, hey, hey! What the hell are you accusing me of here? I'd never do anything bad to my little bro!" he said furiously.
"Oh, yeah right…! Wait, 'little bro'?"
"Yeah, who did you think I was?"
Having calmed down some, I began to note the differences between this boy and the man I mistook him for. For one thing, he looked much younger. For another, he didn't hold that super-cold look in his eyes like that old coot did. In fact, he looked really hotheaded.
"Uh, I seem to have mistaken you for your old man… But in my defense, you do look a lot like him…"
"You just made my day," he replied sarcastically. "So, who are you again?"
"Just a friend of Gaara's. The name's Claire. Pleased to meetcha," I said attempting to get on his good side.
"Well, where is Gaara?" he asked.
"Beats me. I was just talking to Granny. I was hoping she could help me with something."
"You actually tried to get advice from Grandma?" he snorted. "Oh, to be so naïve!"
"Tell me about it…" I muttered, folding my hands behind my head and bobbing on my feet. "Would you just point out the way to his room?"
"Let me guess. You've got the hots for him, haven't ya?" the brunette asked with a devilish smirk, making my face turn a bright pink. I can't be THAT obvious… can I? N'ah! He was only trying to get a strong reaction out of me!
"I most certainly do not. You should see us fight all the time," was my comeback. Ha! Take that, Gaara's brother!
"Eh? That doesn't really sound like him."
"It's true. Ask anyone."
"Then why are you blushing?" he pointed out.
Oh, yeah… How am I going to explain that? Ah, who cares? It's none of his business, anyway!
"Look, I love playing 20 Questions as much as the next person, but either you tell me which way Gaara's room is or I'll just find it myself," I grumbled.
"Jeez, you're nearly as testy as Temari. You'll get along with her just fine, that's for sure," he muttered as he led me down a lengthy corridor.
Boy, we're off to a fine start. Just as I began to ponder why this bigmouth was Gaara's hero, said bigmouth opened up a familiar door and let himself in. Looking through the doorway I was relieved to see it was indeed his room, but annoyed to find he wasn't present.
"I can't believe it. That bocciagalupe totally ditched me! He said he'd be here…"
"What the hell is a 'bocciagalupe'?" the brown-haired teen asked.
"Beats me," I replied, dumping my bag on his bed. I plopped down on its soft mattress and tossed off my shoes.
"I'm just gonna go look for him then. What are you gonna do?" he asked. (why can't I remember his name? Fancy him not even telling me when I introduced myself to him)
"I'll just wait for him here. Then I'll give him a piece of my mind," I offered.
"Now when you said you fight all the time, do you initiate them? 'Cause it sure sounds that way."
Practically feeling steam shooting out of my ears, I grabbed both my shoes and aimed them at his head, but they smashed into the now-closed door just in time.
'Hmph! Stupid prat!'
Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I opened up my backpack and fished out an X-Men comic book. (I still can't believe my older brother let me borrow them, provided I mailed them back to him, of course)
A half hour later I'd finished reading it, and Gaara still hadn't turned up.
'Man, I'm so bored!'
I hopped off the bed and tried to open the cupboard in which he kept that sophisticated hi-fi system, but was frustrated when I found it to be locked. (hey, that reminds me. My dad's CD is still in there!)
"I can't believe he has a room this huge and it has no TV and gaming systems! The guy is completely missing the point of having a large bedroom like this!" I thought out loud (way loud).
Suddenly, I had the urge to have a peek in his closet, the one he'd shoved me in the other day. Opening it gingerly, my eyes were treated to the finest clothes I'd ever seen, made out of the softest materials I'd ever felt.
'Do I dare?' I thought with a giggle.
Making a quick dash to the door, I looked from one side and then the other, pleased that no one was in sight. With a satisfied nod, I ran back to the closet and grabbed the first outfit my hands landed on.
v-v
Boy, changing into the outfit I was wearing now had actually been a really tricky feat. It was even more complicated than it already looked. Giving one of the clasps for the dark purple breastplate a final triumphant tug, I gave a twirl in front of the mirror.
"Hi, ladies! I love you all, cuz I'm Gaara! Now, run along and get me some orange soda, cuz I'm Gaara and I love orange soda!" I babbled to my reflection.
Making a run for my bag to get my cellphone (I just HAD to take a picture of this and show Naruto. Boy, will he laugh!), I tripped on the red leggings and landed painfully on my backside.
Straightening back up, I rolled them up as much as I could around my ankles, which wasn't an easy task, as the sleeves kept on rolling down way past my hands.
"What do you think you're doing now?" came the unexpected question, asked in a dangerously soft voice.
I turned around to face my redheaded friend, who seemed to be torn between looking annoyed or downright baffled.
Rubbing the back of my head with one covered hand, I sheepishly said, "Uh, sorry. I got bored."
"And you wear people's best clothes when you're bored, do you?" he said again in that frighteningly soft voice, effectively making himself look pretty intimidating when he crossed his arms over his chest.
"What are you talking about? What you're wearing now looks exactly like this!" I shot defensively, first poking one clasp on his clothes, then another on mine. "Anyhow, I'd do the same for you!"
"You'd let me borrow your clothes? I'm touched," Gaara said oh-so sarcastically.
Good grief; I knew he most likely wouldn't laugh when he saw me like this, but did he have to act like a total brat?
"Man, what is your problem? Don't you have any sense of humor at all?" I groused and slammed the door open.
"We're not finished here. Where do you think you're going?" his royal pain in the neck demanded.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm gonna go get some orange soda. Maybe have another nice chat with Granny. I'll bet you my entire gaming collection she'll say I look great in this outfit, so…" I stuck out my tongue, resisting the huge urge I got to blow a raspberry at him, and, "NYAH!"
Things moved really fast from there, and before I even knew what had happened, we'd pounced on each other and were rolling around the floor like a couple of lunatics. Using his superior size to his advantage, he succeeded more than easily in pinning me down on my tummy, holding both my wrists tightly behind my back with one hand.
"Oh, yeah? Let's see you have any kids in the near future, you jackass!"
With that, I lifted my foot up and smashed it as hard as I could into his gut, knocking the wind right out of him. Unfortunately for me, he still kept his firm grip on my hands.
"You're lucky I missed! I was aiming for your woohoo spot!"
"Listen here, you bi-!"
"All right, that's enough out of you both!" a female voice scolded as we were forcefully separated.
At first, I thought it might have been that Temari chick, but the new voice sounded too soft in comparison. Turning my furious glare at the newcomer, my eyes met with the gentle gaze of a kindly-looking woman with shoulder-length, light-brown wavy hair and really fair skin.
"Well? Either of you care to explain yourselves?" she beckoned softly, aiming a rather disappointed look at Gaara, who suddenly found his shoes to be really interesting. When he said nothing, she changed her focus on me, still looking quite stern.
"Uh, see… W-what happened was… We were… just… rum-rehearsing… for the… er, Christmas Play! Yeah, that's it!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, we're… um, the villains, who are… also in love with the same woman."
"You're playing a man?" she asked in intrigue.
"It's outrageous and insulting, but the show must go on. It was a last-minute decision," I mumbled in as convincing a voice as I could muster. "Isn't that right, Gaara?" I continued in a falsely cheerful voice, urging him to play along.
"That's exactly it," was all he managed to say, unable to face the woman.
"Oh, how fun! I can't wait to see your performance! You kids!" she giggled, giving my ex-friend an affectionate pat on the cheek, then walked off.
"Phew! I can't believe she bought…" I began, but was met with his door slamming behind my back. "…it…"
Giving the door a tentative tap with my knuckle, still covered by the too-long sleeve, I attempted, "We should talk it over later. Like, I didn't wear your clothes to annoy you or anything. I really did get bored."
Nothing…
"Um, I'm also really sorry about my childish reaction, and I didn't mean to call you a jackass, really."
Still nothing…
"So yeah, even if you don't forgive me," my voice shook a little then (hey, at least I wasn't crying), I still think you're the coolest guy in the world."
'I might as well be talking to a wall,' I thought with a sad sigh.
v-v
After my fifteen-minute-long conversation with Gaara's door, Granny Nadia took me under her wing.
"He's not really upset with you, dearie," she said in her grandmotherly voice. "He always gets like this when that yutz has one of those talks with him."
"Still, did he have to act so mean? He jumped me for sticking out my tongue at him for Heaven's sake," I whispered just loud enough for her to hear.
"Did he now? Who knew my Gaara had such spunk?"
"That wasn't spunky so much as painful. The guy's really heavy!" I whined, trying to win her back to my side.
"I know exactly what'll take your mind off things!"
"You mean my thoughts of having been blackmailed on my first day at school, and losing a really good friend? Do you have a fridge-load of orange soda and chocolate ice-cream?"
"Even better. I'm taking you shopping. Wherever you want to go, we'll go," she grinned, giving her beaded purse a tap.
"What? Like this?" I asked, waving my hands and tickling Granny's face with the cuffs of the long sleeves.
"Why not? You look so adorable. In a bizarre sort of way."
How come I didn't feel any better?
"Gee, thanks."
v-v
"So, tell me exactly why this girl is blackmailing you," Granny beckoned across me.
After I'd managed to convince her that I loathed shopping for clothes (apparently she'd never heard of a girl hating such a thing), we went to the same coffeehouse that Gaara and I had frequented the other day. At first, I really didn't want to go there, somehow feeling really uncomfortable with the idea, but Granny was really keen on going there, so…
'At least that moron Dawn isn't here.'
"Kiddo, did you hear me?" the old woman asked again.
"Sorry, I zoned out for a sec. But I can't tell you why she is blackmailing me. It's really personal," I said, quickly putting my fork in my mouth and savouring the delicious flavor of the chocolate-cheesecake.
"You should know you can never keep a secret from this old lady for long. I'll have the answer out of you in three quick questions," she said confidently.
"I doubt it, but go ahead."
"Okay, question 1: How are you liking your new life here so far?"
"It's really fun. There's never a dull moment for me around here, that's for certain."
"Fascinating. Question 2: Have you ever been to Washington?"
"Nope, but I've always wanted to see the White House up close."
"I see. Question 3: How many fingers am I holding up?" she finished, putting up four fingers.
"Uh… 4?"
"Good. Now, give me a minute." She closed her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. Then, "You have the hots for my Gaara and you don't want anybody to know," she said with a triumphant look on her face.
I was about to deny it, as I'd done for about the hundredth time, but my face was burning so hotly, not even an amoeba would be convinced. I opted to demand how she figured something like that out just by asking me those ridiculous questions.
"Oh, I just threw those in to mess with you," she said casually, "Anyone can really tell how you feel. Why else would you be so upset about that last squabble of yours?"
"I told you, already. He's a good friend."
"Even so, one wouldn't be looking like a little lost puppy just because of a fight," she insisted. "And why else did you suddenly feel like wearing his clothes?"
"Like I told him, I was bored."
"You kids certainly have funny ways of entertaining yourselves these days."
"Can we please go back? I REALLY wanna apologize to him. I mean to his face, not to his door."
"Heh heh, whatever you say, dearie," she chuckled.
v-v
"You didn't!" Naruto exclaimed in absolute wonderment.
"I did too!" I said proudly.
"You really wore Gaara's clothes?" Lee joined in, having taken a break from his press-up exercises.
"I sure did. Boy, were they comfy," I sighed without realizing my voice had gone all swoony and dreamy.
"But you guys didn't really fight? Physically, I mean."
"Yah, and he started it. Remind me not to get on his bad side again, 'kay?" I laughed half-heartedly, rubbing my rather sore wrists.
"I'm gonna call him right now and really give him what for! Didn't his mama ever teach him not to strike a lady!" Naruto yelled, lightning practically shooting out of his eyes.
"He didn't hit me! Don't be a doofus!"
It was bad enough that Gaara still refused to acknowledge my apologies (at least he was nice enough to let me change into my own clothes and give me back my stuff), I definitely didn't need Naruto to baby me as well.
"But your wrists are so red!" the blonde said angrily; even Lee looked rather disapproving.
"He's got a strong grip, what can I tell ya? Anyways, you shoulda seen how I kicked him back! Right in the kisser I did!"
"I can't believe he reacted like such a prat just cuz you wore his clothes…" Naruto mumbled like he no longer knew who his friend was.
"Well, Granny Nadia said he was especially on edge today because of his jerk-wad of a father," I said, my voice becoming most defensive. I couldn't care less if he ever forgave me or not, but I wasn't going to have anyone talk about Gaara like that.
"Still…"
"Just forget about it. Let's have a round of Tekken."
"You're on!"
As the blue-eyed boy went to look for the game in his clustered mess of a room, and Lee went back to his exercises, I took a glance at the couch. I remembered when I was first invited over and how stunned I'd been when I'd seen Gaara do his homework considering it was a Friday night. I snickered at the memory of when the storm had first hit, and I'd clung on to him like my life had depended on it.
'Shucks. I sure hope he forgives me eventually.'
"I couldn't find it. But I did find Street Fighter Alpha 3, look!" he bragged with a goofy grin.
"Great, I can't wait to kick your butt with Ken!"
"Good luck, since Ryu is tons better!"
"What are you talking about? Ken rules!"
"Ken's a poser! Ryu's the man!"
"In your dreams, Ken!"
"No, in your dreams, Ryu!"
"Ken!"
"Ryu!"
"Ken!"
"Ryu!"
"Uh, is it just me, or am I getting this really strong feeling of déjà vu?" I asked, grabbing one of the controllers.
"That depends. What's déjà vu?" he said innocently.
"Never mind, let's go for broke!" I challenged, mimicking the announcer of the game.
"Right! Triumph or die!" he joined in happily.
v-v
"Man… Math is so lame!" I grumbled and tossed my math book over my shoulder.
"I second that!" Naruto agreed and mimicked my action.
"It's not due for tomorrow anyhow. Let's go play some more," I said as I put my reading glasses in its case.
"You sure know how to speak my language! You should totally move in with us!" he exclaimed with a whoop.
On the way, we began arguing on which Muppets character is better (I said Gonzo, he said the Swedish Chef); our mouths opened as wide as they could go when we saw who happened to be sitting on the couch talking to Lee.
"GAARA! I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO YOU!" Naruto bellowed at the top of his lungs, making my ears throb.
Grabbing onto said loud boy's shoulder, I warned, "First of all, no one around here is deaf. Second of all, I told you to leave it alone."
He chose to ignore my words, pulled me by the sleeve of my pink shirt and dragged me to the other two boys.
"Show him!" he shouted.
"Quit yelling in my ear, you twit!" I said in annoyance.
"Show him, or I will!" he threatened. Ugh, why is it that there are days when no one seems to listen?
"Make me!" I challenged.
Naruto proved to me there and then you should never judge a person simply by how they look, for he turned out to be much stronger than I'd first thought. Before long, he had one of my sleeves rolled up to my elbow, and was pointing furiously at the red wrist.
"All right, already! Let's drop it! It doesn't even hurt!"
"Could you give us a little privacy?" was Gaara's soft question.
"Nope! What you have to say to me, you can say in front of Naruto and Lee," I said before either boy could answer. Naruto looked quite pleased with that, but Lee looked rather uncomfortable and flustered.
"Oh, I just remembered I had something important to finish!" Lee said feebly. "Come and help me, Naruto!"
Without any room for further argument, the blonde was forcibly pulled back, and the door to his room was hurriedly closed, muffling Naruto's rather crude language.
"Lee, you backstabber!" I griped shaking my fist in the direction of Naruto's room.
Since the red-haired boy seemed to find the carpeting most fascinating and wouldn't say a word, I figured I might as well break the silence. Folding my arms behind my head, I said, "Looks like you got your wish, so say something."
"You forgot this," he said holding out one hand in front of me, in which was my dad's CD.
I gave him a really blank look.
"That's it? You came here for that?" I didn't even try to hide my sheer disappointment from my voice.
"TELL HIM OFF!" came Naruto's muffled scream.
"Hold on a sec," I said to Gaara in a sing-song voice, then marched to the door, pulled it open to reveal a surprised Naruto, and finally slammed it shut again.
"OW!"
"Stop listening in!" I shouted in front of the door, then ran and plopped down on the couch. "You were saying?"
"Grandma said you were really upset," he attempted.
"And I thought I did such a fine job in hiding it," I said, then added, "You're not the only person who can use sarcasm around here."
Yet again, he closed up completely and said nothing more.
'This is really tricky…'
Naruto's door suddenly burst open and he was standing in front of the slightly taller teen in a matter of seconds. "Apologize to her already! She apologized like a hundred times to you, so what the heck are you waiting for?"
"Argh! Both of you are making my head hurt! I'm gonna go get some orange soda!"
"We're out," the blonde said matter-of-factly, "You drank it all."
"Oh… Whoops…"
"Well, what are you waiting for? Apologize!" the blue-eyed one scolded, aiming a not-so-friendly hard punch at the redhead's shoulder, which earned him a flinch from the other teen.
"Don't be a jerk, Naruto!" I said with a furious glare.
"Hey! I'm defending you!" he shouted, looking really offended.
"And like Gaara said, we want a little privacy," I threw at him, and without waiting for a response, I grabbed ahold of the red-haired one's arm and pulled him outside with me.
'Men…'
v-v
Crunch… Crunch…
'Sheesh! Why won't he say anything? This is so troublesome!'
Crunch… Crunch…
'Well, if he isn't going to talk, then I'm not going to either!'
Crunchy… Crunchity…
'Ignore… Ignore… Orange soda, ice-cream, candy, games… Oh, forget it!'
"Please, say something! Anything! You're driving me absolutely crazy!" I finally bellowed in a really loud voice, earning me some worried glances from passers-by; like they matter.
Chancing a sideways look at him, I was disappointed when I saw him still staring at the snow beneath our feet without really seeing it. His legs were pretty much just carrying him forward whilst I guided him with one arm linked around his and the other tucked under my jacket.
"Sure is a cold evening," was my attempt at starting a casual conversation.
A tiny, soft sigh was my only indication that he was actually walking with me. His mind was another story; I'm fairly certain that if I were to let go of his arm, he'd keep on walking aimlessly until he crashed into something.
Crunch… Crunchies…
"Let's stop at that cute coffeehouse just round the corner. I could use some hot chocolate right about now."
Still he offered no response, so I decided to take that as a possible maybe and led the way.
As I pushed the door open, there came the pretty sound of a little bell and we were greeted with the sight of lively Christmas decorations, the delicious smell of fresh coffee and tea, and Mr. John Lennon's Happy 'Xmas playing gently in the background.
Finding a nice little table next to the window, I was more than happy to plop myself on the cozy chair, my friend being more graceful about it.
After the waiter had placed two steaming mugs of hot chocolate in front of us and left, Gaara opened his mouth as if he were about to say something. I held my breath in anticipation, then sighed in annoyance when he closed it again. He caught my attention when he discreetly waved his arm around him and looked at the other, happier, patrons.
"Hm… It's either here or your place. I left everything, including my keys, at Naruto's place, and I have a good feeling he's not gonna be letting us in for a while."
"How will you get home?"
I almost choked on a tiny marshmallow at the sound of his soft voice. Phew, at last!
With a light smack (more like a tap, really) to his cheek, I managed, "Don't you ever stay silent like that again, mister! You had me worried sick!"
"Sorry?" he tried whilst trying to hide his face behind his cup.
Granted it wasn't the apology I'd been looking for, but I was so glad to hear him talk again that I really didn't care anymore. I was just happy to have him back.
'Still, I am curious.'
"What did that ev… man say to you, anyhow? Musta been really bad."
"It's nothing that concerns you," he said, becoming defensive.
"Did you see yourself only a few minutes ago? Not to mention back at your house?" His face reddening just a tiny bit I continued, "You just can't keep all that always locked up inside. Not healthy, ya know? 'Sides, I'm your pal! What troubles you troubles me also."
Nodding curtly, he offered, "I will tell you what's troubling me if you do the same."
"Eh? What makes you think something's troubling me?"
"Why else would you go anywhere near Meno?" he answered with a question of his own.
"All right, fine. Deal. Go ahead," I beckoned. For a moment, he looked like he was about to close into himself again, so I took ahold of both his clenched fists and stroked them gently.
v-v
Twenty minutes and two cups of tea later saw me using all the willpower I possessed not to let out a string of curses against Gaara's scum father.
From what he was willing to tell me, his old man was always critical of him - never seeing the good that he does, but rather what he's unable to do; always pointing out every single mistake in a discouraging manner, contrary to what a parent would normally do for their child. He was also very strict with him and would constantly show his disapproval if Gaara so much as stepped an inch over the line.
Today's latest talk apparently had something to do with my friend refusing to involve himself in any way with their family business, which didn't sit well with the old coot; that horrible man had even said something about disowning his own son! Wait till I tell Granny about this!
"Sheesh, no wonder Granny Nadia hates him," I said carelessly.
He gave me a disapproving glare, but it looked really forced.
"Well?" was all he actually said.
"Well, what?" I said back, though I knew where this was going. He also knew that I knew, so I had no choice but to keep my end of the bargain.
"Uh, yeah. It's a kinda funny story, actually." His frown pretty much told me he wasn't having any of that. "See, Meno found out a really personal secret about me, so, since she's Meno, she's threatened to tell everyone unless I do what she asks. Pretty funny, huh?"
Gaara's hands tightly clenching his cup to the point that they were shaking and his suddenly really stiff breathing practically said that he wasn't amused at all. Then…
SLAM!
The cup now lay in pieces under his still-trembling palms and he was starting to vacate his seat.
"Hey, where are you going!" I demanded.
"I'm going to kill her with my bare hands!"
Whoa; that was the first time ever since I'd met him that I saw him raise his voice, and I have to admit it made me really uncomfortable. He looked so angry, just plain seething, his entire body was trembling uncontrollably.
'I know! I'll do what they always do in the movies!'
With that, I quickly stepped in front of him and slapped him hard across the face.
"Did it work? Do you still want to kill Meno?"
He looked like he was calming down a little but, looking at the red mark on his cheek, I felt absolutely awful.
"Sorry about that. I panicked."
Suddenly, I noticed that every single patron and the staff members were looking at us. Like this, they must have thought we were in a violent argument or something. This was confirmed when a plump waiter came to our table and asked us, none too nicely, to leave.
Intertwining my fingers with his, we quickly did just that.
"Oh well, look on the bright side," I began, not wanting another bout of awkward silence like before.
"What bright side?" he mumbled, his free fingers rubbing where I'd hit him.
"We got free coffee!"
At first, he made no sound, but seconds later he was chuckling, a barely visible smile on his handsome face.
"Has anyone ever told you how odd you are?"
Tightening my hold on his hand, I answered, "Every day of my life."
End Chapter 5
Finally, FINALLY! It's done! This chapter was giving me so much trouble it's not even funny! I had 98% of it typed up and everything, but the other 2% wouldn't enter my brain no matter how hard I tried. Writer's block is the epitome of evil, I tell ya.
The last part of this chapter did turn out fluffier and sappier than I intended. Then again, I do enjoy the sap, hee hee.
One of the scenes with Granny Nadia was heavily inspired from The Golden Girls episode entitled Scared Straight. Fans of the show will recognize it straight away, I'm sure.
For those who are wondering about the brown-haired lady, yep, that was indeed Gaara's mama. Unlike his slime-bucket of an uncle, I really do feel she'd have been a very good mother to him, hence her nice nature here.
Oh, and isn't Meno oh-so evil? I can so see Gaara wanting to kick the crap outta her! (which he can do really well in Konoha Spirits, yay!)