A/N: Your favoriting and reviewing and alerting are just...well, they warm my little shipper heart. So thank you all!
Special shout out to: Walsh, CBGB and vero– seriously, your enthusiasm is awesome. I'd PM you, but somebody doesn't play that way. Tsk tsk. My shyest readers are all kinds of flattering. You know that gets you everywhere with me! All are welcome to hit me up on Twitter and tumblr as well. So, you know, you have options.
Maribel Lopez folded her newspaper and dropped it gently to the ground with a sigh. It was time for her to check on Santana. As she entered the house, she found the kitchen empty. No Santana, no notepad, no coffee cup. Mrs. Lopez looked up toward the top of the stairs and smiled, shaking her head. "That girl is nothing if not determined," she thought to herself.
Mrs. Lopez approached Santana's door and peeked in. Santana was at her desk, hunched over the laptop. She was still in her pajamas, looking at the computer screen, then jotting down notes, then looking up at the screen, scrolling, writing notes again. Santana put down the pen and took a gulp from her coffee cup, never once letting her eyes leave the screen.
"Santana, have you been up here the whole time?"
Santana replied with a grunt.
"Have you eaten?" Mrs. Lopez asked with some concern.
Santana shook her head no, never moving her eyes from the laptop screen.
"Come on. Take a break."
"Can't."
"You can and you will," Maribel replied. "Take a shower. Get dressed. I'm making breakfast." She looked at the clock next to Santana's bed. "OK, brunch. I'm making brunch."
"Mama, I have to get this done," Santana retorted, scribbling more notes.
"How many cups of coffee have you had?" Mrs. Lopez asked as she fully entered the room.
Santana paused and thought, "Four?"
"You'll have a tummy ache if you don't eat. And you'll be no good to Brittany if you're complaining of a sour stomach instead of helping her, hmm?"
Mrs. Lopez came up behind Santana and put her hand gently over Santana's and placed the pen down. Santana slumped slightly.
"Alright," Santana half-heartedly agreed.
After her shower, Santana felt a little more relaxed. She took the time to put her hair in a French braid, slipped on a faded Cheerios t-shirt and some ripped jean shorts. Santana smelled the eggs and bacon and pancakes as she came down stairs.
"Smells great Mama," Santana said, as she exhaled from taking a deep breath in smelling all the brunch aromas.
Maribel just smiled and flipped a pancake. Santana started making a fresh pot of coffee.
"That better be decaf," her mother warned.
Santana put the regular coffee back in the cabinet, and took down the decaf. "Yep, sure is," Santana confirmed.
"You going over to Brittany's after you eat?"
"Yep," Santana replied as she watched as the coffee dripped into the carafe.
"Don't sound too excited," Mrs. Lopez chided. "I thought you'd be a little more excited considering you've got a novel's worth of information written in that notepad on your desk."
"I just don't want it to turn into a fight," Santana confessed.
"Why would it turn into a fight?" Mrs. Lopez asked, stacking pancakes on a serving dish.
Santana poured a fresh cup of coffee for herself and her mother, and sat down at the table, gathering her thoughts, as she filled her plate.
"Because I'm still kind of mad…at her…at myself…ugh! I hate this feeling!"
Santana silently cut up her pancakes into bite size pieces with her fork.
"You going to eat that or just keep rearranging your plate?"
Santana huffed, "I'm working on it." Santana cut up more pieces of her pancakes, then moved onto cutting up her eggs. "How do you do it Mama?"
Maribel looked over at her daughter, "Do what?"
"Talk to Dad when you don't want to. About tough stuff. About things you know you need to go right. Without fighting."
Mrs. Lopez swallowed her last piece of bacon and clasped her hands under her chin.
"Sweetheart, your father and I fight sometimes…well, more like disagree with vigor," Maribel said with a smirk. "It's scarier to talk about stuff the more important they are to us. We disagreed about you and college for instance."
Santana looked up from her plate concerned. "Why didn't I hear about this?"
Maribel chuckled, "Because I won that argument. Papi wanted you to go to college no matter what. Which I understand, and I think you do too. You've talkied about wanting to go to college before."
Santana nodded, "I'm not totally against the idea. I just…I don't think it's for me right now. I want to take classes and learn stuff, I just don't know if I want a degree right now," Santana explained.
Maribel understood, "And I reminded him that it's not for everyone. Even though you definitely have the brains and drive for it. I told him that I didn't go to college and look how amazing I turned out," she explained with her arms open, gesturing for Santana to admire her.
Santana laughed out loud. "You are awesome Mama. I'll give you that. But seriously, I'm nervous about talking to Brittany. How do you do it with Papi without…I don't know…"
"Santana, when it comes down to it, at the heart of everything, is love. Your father and I love each other. And no matter what, we don't forget that. With that love comes understanding, respect and a lot of compromise. A lot of compromise," Maribel concluded with a smile.
"If it's that important that you and Brittany come to an agreement, you will. It may not come out as you planned or when you planned, but that doesn't mean you two didn't come to the agreement you should in the end."
Santana sat and finished her brunch, nodding at what her mother had said. She let it sink in and mentally prepared to go over to Brittany's house.
Santana stood at the Pierce's front door, armed with her notepad. She hesitated, rang the doorbell, then flinched, knowing there was no going back now.
She heard Brittany yell, "I got it!" from the second floor of the house, and her feet jogging to the front door. She opened it with a smile,
"Hi," Brittany grinned.
Brittany was wearing just a sports bra and low slung baggy sweat shorts.
"Thank God for air conditioning," Santana thought, then remembered she hadn't even greeted Brittany.
"Hi," Santana returned the greeting. "Working out?"
Brittany stood aside, and let Santana into the house. She gave Santana a peck on the cheek as she let her pass. "I was. Just dancing in my room," she replied.
"Cousins finally gone?" Brittany asked as she closed the front door and followed Santana to the kitchen.
Santana rolled her eyes, "Cousins, aunts, uncles, people I don't even know. Yes, finally, all gone. Thank God."
Brittany chuckled and retrieved two bottles of juice from the fridge, opening one and handing it over to Santana.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Brittany asked. "Your text was kind of vague."
"Let's go up to your room, k?" Santana suggested, taking Brittany's hand and leading her up the stairs.
"Are you sure you wanted to talk, or is this a 'talking with our tongues super close' kind of talk?" Brittany teased.
Santana smiled and looked sideways at Brittany. "Seriously tempting, considering how little you're wearing, but I do want to actually talk…about…stuff," Santana faltered.
Brittany furrowed her eyebrows, more out of curiosity than concern. Santana sat down on Brittany's bed and pulled Brittany over to sit with her. Brittany sat cross-legged across from Santana and idly petted Lord Tubbington's back as he lay half asleep beside her.
"What's up?"
Santana rubbed her fingers in her lap and looked up at Brittany. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I want to talk about graduation."
"What about it? I thought it was a great day," Brittany grinned. "And Rachel's party was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Though Sugar taking one of Rachel's dad's Xanax was a big mistake. She was loopy for hours, and…"
"No," Santana interrupted. "I mean, yes, Berry's party was surprisingly not a complete disaster. And Sugar on a Xanax is just…wow. But I wanted to talk about you not graduating. I mean, really talk about it, and…us."
Santana shifted of the bed, head down, but looking up at Brittany. Brittany saw that Santana's eyes and face were expectant and pleading and nervous. Brittany was kind of nervous too. Brittany smiled reassuringly at Santana, then ducked her head down, pulling at the hem of her shorts.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Brittany whispered.
"I'm sorry I didn't ask," Santana replied.
Brittany gave her a tight smile and a sympathetic sigh. "You had a lot going on. And I got busy helping you out and making sure you were okay, I just kind of forgot to take care of myself too."
"And that's where I screwed up, Britt. I should've been doing the same thing. Checking in on you, helping you…not that you needed help or checking up on…I mean…you just seemed to have everything so together, when I was falling apart and freaking out and getting all wrapped up in myself, and there you were all constant and steady and…you that, I totally overlooked…you. And, and…I'm sorry for being a shitty girlfriend, and an ungrateful bitch and fucking things up, and not helping you, or asking if you needed help, or doing all the shit a girlfriend is supposed to do. Like you did. You did it right, and I fucked it up, and…"
Brittany leaned in and kissed Santana to shut her up. Santana's eyes widened in surprise, and when she was about to return the kiss, Brittany pulled back.
"You didn't fuck up," Brittany consoled and took a breath. "Everyone has their time, when they need extra support. And you needed it more than me this year. Because, because of getting good with yourself and us and being out and your abuela and being a leader on Cheerios and the Troubletones and in the New Directions, and running for Prom Queen and, and…it's just, that, I didn't need help with me being me and you did. And I thought that should take a front seat, and I could take the back seat, for a while. It was your time. Your time for me to stand back and support you and I guess, now it's my time to…um….to"
"To?" Santana promted.
"To ask for help," Brittany admitted, looking down at her lap, then over to Lord Tubbington. Anywhere, but at Santana.
Santana reached out and held Brittany's cheek in her hand and tilted her head so she could meet her gaze.
"I'm here. I've always been here for you. Even when I lost my shit and got so wrapped up in what everyone else thought or did. I never, ever, want you to think I'm not here for you, because I am. And I'm sorry I didn't notice you needed me earlier. I really am sorry about that."
Brittany smiled at Santana and nodded. "Well, I got pretty good at hiding it. Apparently, looking like I'm just coasting through school and life is like, the easiest thing for me to fake," Brittany admitted with a sad smile.
"Hay, we're going to fix this," Santana assured her. "We're going to do this together."
"I don't want you to stay in Lima just for me Santana. It's not fair to you."
Santana shook her head, "I can't just leave you. I may be a lot of things, but I'm really not much at all without you."