After all this time
I sit in the middle of my sofa, in my living room, Cat and Tori sit at either side of me. "Okay," says Tori. "I brought the wine, now why did you want me and Cat to come here?" she asks.
I hold out my left hand in front of me and show them the white gold ring that sits on my ring finger. "Is that what I think it is?" asks Cat bewildered.
I nod "Yeah," I say.
"Oh my god, it's beautiful" Tori says as she admires the ring. It's quite simple, but that's all I wanted. I don't need a flashy ring, to say that I am getting married. It's a thin white gold ring, and it has three diamonds strategically placed within a simplistic pattern.
"When did he propose?" asks Cat.
"Today," I say. "We were out to dinner, and he proposed," I say.
"So where is he now?" asks Tori.
"Out celebrating with the boys," I say.
"Well congratulations, Jade," says Tori.
/
My vision is blurred, and I stand with my arms folded on the surface of a bar, to hold myself up. It's mine and Becks, engagement 'party' what that really means is we are just getting drunk for the sake of it. I feel a hand on the small of my back and turn to face the person who stands next to me at the bar.
"Hey, Jade," says Andre. "I see you're taking it easy," he says through a friendly smile.
"Well, we're celebrating me and Beck, I'm allowed to get like this," I say my speech is slightly slurred. Andre chuckles.
"True," he says. "I still can't believe that you and Beck are getting married," he says "It's so grown up, and real."
"Yeah," I say "It is," though I say these words with a smile on my face, it is the first time, since the engagement, that I have felt, fear and nervous.
/
Breathe I tell myself, breathe; everything is going to be fine. My heart beats rapidly, and it is hard for me to catch my breath. I place my hand on my chest, and feel the drumming of my heart on my clammy palm.
"Are you okay?" asks Tori, as she watches me from the opposite side of the room.
I shake my head "No," I say "I'm not, I am getting married next week, and I am seriously freaking out," I say. "If I am like this now, what am I going to be like then?" I ask my voice raising a few octaves as panic sets in more.
"Jade, you'll be fine," she says.
"How do you know that?" I ask.
"Because I know you, and I know Beck. I know that everything will be fine with you two, you shouldn't be worried okay?" she says "You are going to be the happiest people ever," she says "Look at the stuff you have been through."
"Yeah," I say "Look at the stuff, we've been through, multiple breakups, constant arguing, how can we make a marriage work on that?"
"Jade, that was when we were in high school, you lasted then, and you lasted through college and you're going to last longer than that."
"You really think?" I ask.
She nods "Yeah, I mean after all this time you still love him, and you still wanna be with him, and he feels the same way about you." She says, "Trust me."
/
This is it I tell myself. I stand in a room with Tori "Are you okay?" asks, Tori. I know she is asking because of our conversation we had last week.
I nod "Yeah I think so," I say. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
"Good," she says "Just think, it all starts here, you and Beck," she says. I nod and smile, I know she's right- even if I hate to admit it she usually is.
"Yeah, you're right," I say. The door to the room opens Cat and Trina- who was a last minute decision for a bridesmaid walk into the room. The three girls who stand in the room with me look at me, smiling like idiots.
"You look so beautiful, Jade," says Cat.
Trina nods in agreement "You are so lucky," she says "You look amazing."
"Thanks, Trina," I say, not really expecting a complement from the older Vega girl, she doesn't really hand them out that often- if she ever hands them out. "Thanks Cat."
"Well," says Cat "Their waiting for you," she smiles at me "You ready?" I nod.
"Yeah, I am."
It's hard to believe that after all this time, I still love Beck, and my love grows for him every day.
A/N: I don't even know what to say about this, but I hope you like it, please read and review