How to annoy Frank Cotton

(In this chapter Frank is just an asshole; not mean like in the movie)

Kirsty had removed herself from the small box that Pistonhead shoved her inside of. She rested a bit before going onto her next victim. She still had a few she wanted to torment as she saw them but right now she had her sights set up on her Uncle Frank. Frank was not a cenobite but to her it didn't matter. As far as Leviathan was concerned Frank wasn't "cenobite material." Kirsty started in on poor Frank without so much as a greeting.

1. Say Julia is back with Larry Cotton and that they are having a baby

2. Say that Larry is a way better lover than Frank

3. Say that Butterball is the only one attracted to Frank

4. Steal his money and give it to charity

5. Sign him up to be volunteer at a homeless shelter

Frank growled a warning at his niece. Out of all the people that irritated him the most Kirsty was the top one on his list. He tried to walk away and ignore this annoying woman.

6. Put salt and vinegar on him when he isn't wearing his skin

7. Take his skin and whatever spares he has and hide them

8. Tell him he has to marry Chatterer

9. Ask him why he says "come to daddy"

10. Use his skin as a chew toy for Chatterbeast

11. Ask if he enjoys wearing make up

12. Ask if he enjoys getting all those chains put in him by Pinhead

"Hey Kirsty how about you do your Uncle a favor? How about you shut the fuck up?" Frank snarled clearly irritated and in no mood for Kirsty's games. Kirsty just stuck her tongue out and did a raspberry "bplpblpblpblpblpblpbl" was her only response.

13. Ask why his room was filled with nasty things

14. Ask if he would ever go on a date with Female

15. Tell him he is sexually unappealing to all women

16. Follow him around all day and make weird noises

17. Jump on his lap when he manages to get a date and pretend he is your dad and say mom is looking for him

18. Replace his clothing with women's apparel

19. Cut off his penis and have a sexy woman seduce him

20. Remove his balls and have a sexy woman seduce him

Frank took off running as quickly as possible. He had heard of the others being tormented by an unstoppable Kirsty and figured there was no stopping Ms. Lunatic. Why didn't she get herself a man and settle down somewhere preferably far away from him?

21. Say you are moving in with him

22. Constantly remind him he can never sate his lust

23. Tell him the cenobites are looking for him and they are pissed!

24. Tell him that he needs to shower coz he smells like piss

25. Send his dating video to disturbed mental patients to get him a date

Next chapter: Pissing off Julia