Chapter 7: Finding Strength: Value
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, nor do I claim rights to any of the affiliated characters. I make no profit from publishing this story.
Warnings/Notes: OOC to an extent, as to be expected with my writing style. In any case, any flames I receive will be printed on T-shirts to be sold on E-bay; you shall reek none of the profits. I'm so sorry for the belated update; I'm horrible about writing when I've no inspiration to do so.
"Yugi we were worried about you!" Tea exclaimed as she hurriedly embraced him. How he envied the birds and their freedom now. "Are you okay?" She then made sure to put in as Joey and Tristan attempted to shove her out of the way.
"I'm fine Tea." He almost wanted to convey to her the annoyance rising in his tone but didn't have the heart.
"Man Yug, we thought you ran off or somethin'!" Joey butted in as Tea moved back from Yugi, sensing all wasn't right.
"No, I just…needed to clear my head." Suddenly he didn't recognize the faces that stared at him, they seemed blurred and foreign as if tarnished by the slow decay of time. He swallowed and took in the surroundings that so ruthlessly smothered him, "So…what kind of paints are they?" A random diversion brought on by the vibrant look in the woman's eyes. The pigment of the warm, rich blue was fading but they held their presence all the same.
"Nothing fancy." Pegasus replied from a few feet away, "A combination of oil-based paints."
At the changing of the subject his friends all understood he needed time alone, it was just that they felt bad, leaving him to deal with his problems when he seemed to devote his life to helping them through theirs. How long had he been suffering that they hadn't the time to notice? Swallowing their guilt, as well as their pride, it seemed, was growing harder by the second. Slowly they backed away and looked to one another in an attempt to find words that alone they could not.
"You look flushed." It was easier to take in their friend's physical appearance now that they were at a loss for words of comfort.
"Yeah, it's a little warm out." He replied, yeah, that would convince them, it was warm at seven o' clock in the morning with an over cast, in his mind he could feel Yami creeping in, his inner most thoughts exposed in an instant. That was a hard thing to face at a time like this.
"Anyway." He turned to face them and moved closer to where Pegasus stood, such a forced smile was never planted this perfectly, "We never did get to have a normal conversation." It was an attempt at drawing direct attention away from himself.
"That's right!" Pegasus chimed in, in a manor all his own, "It's possible to do such a thing, you know I'd almost forgotten what with talking to walls all day." Yugi cracked a smile at Pegasus's allusion to his servants.
"Well Joey never did tell us about how Serenity won her matches the other day." Tristan added as the gang ventured into one of many sitting rooms duelist kingdom had to offer them.
"Uh…" The look on Joey's face said nothing short of "and I'd know this how…?" he was, after all, only on the phone with Serenity long enough to get wind of her winning. At the time he'd never thought to ask for the details.
"Seems like you've got a thing for her." Pegasus then paused to click his tongue a few times, "And to think she's your best friend's sister, how deliciously taboo!" He exclaimed in overly emotional fashion.
Tristan rolled his eyes, half-pouting in response to the confrontation, "Yeah man, what's wrong with you!" Joey shouted beaming, giggling at the chance to rub it in.
The man; still clad in long, baggy pajamas, laughed at how predictable his guests were and took a seat in an armchair next to his student. While he was happy to be effectively directing attention away from the boy, his little girlfriend's overprotective nature was becoming overbearing.
"What made you decide to pursue duel monsters?" It was a question Yugi had been itching to ask Pegasus since he'd gotten on good terms with the man.
"Personal reasons." Was all the other cared to say, "Passions stem from one another Yugi-boy." He then added.
"But then, how do they start?" Tristan and Joey had since stopped bickering and plopped down onto plush beanbag chairs on either side of Tea, who, as usual, was already watching and listening intently.
"Usually from infatuation." He replied.
"You mean love right?" The blonde asked the question everyone else had been faced with.
"No, there's quite a difference Joey-boy." He replied, "Infatuation is a short-lived type of fantasy one has, you know, like as a child when your only dream is for it to rain candy or for your favorite cartoon character to show up at your door. It could never happen but at the time your way of thinking is so irrational you won't hear of the impossibility. Life is all about chain reactions." He continued to explain, "Every feeling a person has will usually trigger another."
"Like thought process?" Tea took a stab at it this time.
"In a way." He replied.
"So then you wanted to take up duel monsters because of a fantasy?" The smile Pegasus bore then was bittersweet. For the sake of truth, he answered yes.
"Must've ran deeper than fantasy land to lead you all the way to Egypt." Tristan replied in the way only he-and possibly Joey-would.
Pegasus laughed a bit at the irony of the statement, "That's where things get complicated, which is for another secratic circle, I'm afraid." He informed the four teenager's with a quiet clear of his throat, silence for a moment, then, "And anyway, I fail to see how this conversation could be considered normal."
"It's us." Tristan couldn't help but reply, "What'd ya want?" All shared a small laugh, it was the truth, this was about as boring (or as others might call it, normal) as life ever got for the group of them.
"You know what I just thought of?"
"What's that?" Tea was quick to inquire.
"If passions stem from one another then how is there room for despair? What breaks the cycle?"
Pegasus smiled, "I didn't mean to say something so broadly." He replied, "The same applies for all emotions, good or bad, passions do stem from one another but somehow, somewhere they have to end, the same thing can't go on forever. The same is true for despair, once you've gotten wrapped up in something negative it just piles up. Tragedies stem from each other as well, take for example, death. The tragedy stems from those that occur day by day in the cycle of life, but, at times, it effects you in a personal way, depending on how strong you are emotionally at the given time, closure, or despair, soon follows. Understand so far?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"The basic principle is that life is all about cause and effect, in essence, the choices we make."
"Oh…well then…if the choices we make are bad, what does that mean? Will you only know once something in life goes wrong?" He then quickly inquired.
"Hey, Yug, I think you may be gettin' a little too deep, everyone makes mistakes bud." Joey informed him as gently as he could. Yugi paused for a moment, but Pegasus's smile never faltered. The bunch never ceased to amaze him.
"Joseph is right, to a degree. No one is perfect, he's hit the nail on the head, life is made with room for improvement and growth, the only way your life will constantly be awful is if you stop accepting or allowing yourself to grow as a person. Something else to remember is that something that's good for someone else isn't necessarily good for you. We're all different. If you make a bad choice you just pick yourself up and try to learn from it, there's no need to dwell on the past when the future's not going to wait for you. Not every mistake is the end of the world."
Tea felt herself growing angry, how was Yugi supposed to get over his problems if Pegasus wouldn't let him forget them? Couldn't he see Yugi was only desperate to keep the conversation going in the hope of finding peace of mind? When did the man become so practical anyway? It was all driving her insane. Was Pegasus blind? He pretended to be so empathetic but only an idiot would buy into his lame life lessons, all he was doing was prolonging Yugi's agony. Why couldn't he just reach over and hug him for crying out loud!
But Tea was young, still just a teenager. She didn't have the heart of life experience to understand that in this world it's not about being able to tell a friend whatever they may want to hear or offering them whatever they desire. When it really matters most, it's about learning the strength it takes to tell them what they need to hear when the time comes.
Yugi's voice interrupted the girl's thoughts and Pegasus's analysis of them, "So, if you give up something you love for the sake of someone you love…does that…make you stupid?"
In her desperate attempt to comfort her friend, Tea responded instantaneously, and because she needed about as much healing from this as Yugi, Pegasus was the last person to object. She rose from her seat and flung her arms around him, both of the boy's on the beanbag chairs stared at her, knowing she couldn't have held out any longer. For a moment they smiled but even they understood Yugi needed a parental sort of guidance. This wasn't something they could help him through, and they accepted that.
"Everyone needs someone to hold onto in the end Yugi!" She exclaimed, avoiding the question with something half-relevant to the topic, "Of course you'll chose a person over an object…love is stronger between people than the longing for something materialistic." He hugged her back meekly, she could never understand.
He felt his stomach bottom out. It was just a stupid longing, to find something that made him normal, something that would make him feel more accepted and less like a prodigy. That's what she thought painting was, a stupid longing, maybe, he thought in a spiteful manor for the first time in his seventeen year old life, dancing was just a stupid passion too.
Guilt came with the realization that had he said something that stupid and vile aloud he'd hurt one of the only real friends he had. Tears came then, slowly, but surely. Tea only hugged him closer her ignorance was bliss in every sense of the word.
"Yugi-boy, what doesn't destroy us only makes us stronger." He realized Tea needed to hold onto him and let her have her comfort, "It doesn't make you foolish." He assured as he moved a hand over his eye and thought of consoling the boy the previous night, "Just human."
Two words never granted wings so fast.
He's writing out a melody
Bold, endearing, pained
Something weathered but beautiful
That cannot be restrained
It bleeds out onto paper
Thickening the air
Leaving epiphanies of sound
In the space that lingered there
He is struggling through a hardship
The tune his only joy
But he's no longer feeling mute
No-not this boy.
Value: relative darkness or lightness of a color
AN: Sorry for the shortness, SO SORRY for the belated update! I promise to try and keep up with things after Christmas season, life at home's been hectic!