"We shouldn't be here." Addison said quietly as they reached the end of the dirt path.

"Technically this is still yours until the paperwork is fully processed and that doesn't happen on weekends."

Addison shot Gill a glare. Not too long ago she had learned paperwork wasn't the only thing that didn't happen on weekends and she was still annoyed. But her annoyance was replaced with feelings of longing as she looked around them. Before them stood the home that Addison had spent the first five years of her life in. Back then the house was something to be envied standing two stories tall. It had been painted a bright white that was accented with a teal roof. Even from a distance Addison could see how much of the white paint had darkened and chipped from years of weather and neglect. The windows looked grey from dirt and the shutters hung sadly, a couple lying on the porch below them. The barn and chicken coop looked equally sad and weathered. Addison was suddenly grateful she hadn't pushed for more money on the sale; it was a wonder the buyer was even willing to pay as much as offered for this sad skeleton of a ranch. The plot where her father had grown fresh vegetables was now overrun with green weeds, if Addison hadn't known where it was already she never would have found it.

Addison hadn't wanted to be here at all. She wanted to sign the papers and leave this place. But Gill had convinced her that she should at least look inside and take anything that belonged to her family before the new buyer moved in. She had reluctantly agreed but standing in front of the home now she was having second thoughts.

"What happened to the animals?" Addison asked as she looked at the run down barn. There had always been plenty of animals when she was a child and she loved it. She remembered chasing the chickens through the growing wheat and her father teaching her to milk the cows. She also remembered how annoyed her mother had been when Addison decided she loved the noises the piglets made and wouldn't stop imitating them. But she had more memories with Star Dancer than any of the other animals. She couldn't help but smile, it was a ridiculous name for a horse but her five-year-old self had been very proud of the name. Star Dancer was her father's favorite white mare. She wasn't a racehorse or even a show horse but her father loved her sweet and gentle disposition. He would ride her all over the island with Addison sitting in front of him. Her mother hated that, said it was unsafe (and it probably was) but Addison had loved nothing more than sitting high up with her father and taking in all the beauty of the island.

"Most of them went to Horn Ranch. A few were sold to various people among the island. People were more than willing to help take care of them."

The two made their way to the door & Gill unlocked the padlock that had been placed on the door to keep looters away. The door creaked loudly in protest as it swung open. The first thing that hit Addison was hot dusty it was, she had to stifle a sneeze as they entered the living room. Taking in the scenery hit Addison like a punch to the stomach as her memories leapt from her mind onto the room, playing in front of her like a movie. Glancing into the kitchen she spotted the small green stool her father had made for her so she could reach the counter while her mother showed her hot to make teas & jams. Those memories were bittersweet to her as she thought back on the woman her mother was back then. Even despite her reservations about living on such an isolated island she had been sweet and vibrant. She would put on her big pink summer hat & take Addison down to the shore to collect seashells while her father was working. From her mother Addison had learned which shells were worth any money & then her mother would take her down to the docks to sell them. It wasn't much money but to a small child having the money to buy handfuls of sweets or dolls was amazing.

Addison turned her gaze from the kitchen and looked back to the living room. The couches were covered with white sheets that now looked grey from the dust that had accumulated on them. The television was large and had antennas sticking up from the top of it, the sort of television one would only come across in thrift shops nowadays. The hardwood floor now looked dull and dark, far from the shine that Addison remembered. When she was small she loved putting on her socks and running from the kitchen into the living room sliding across the floor. She got quite a few bruises from running into the wall or the couch doing so but it never stopped her.

Gill cleared his throat, "If you need some time to yourself I understand, I don't want to intrude."

Addison shook her head. It had been weird seeing Gill after all these years especially since she only had vague memories of him & the other kids on the island. Yet there was a strange comfort in not having to be here alone, to at least have some trace of familiarity beside her. She would have preferred it have been her mother or her brother but she knew that wasn't possible. Her mother had refused to come back since the funeral and her brother had never known this place. Her mother had made a lot of bad decisions since they left to the mainland, many of these bad decisions being hookups with people Addison would catch trying to discreetly leave in the morning never to be seen again. Her brother was the only good thing to ever come of her mother's reckless behavior. Her eyes drifted to a door next to the staircase. As she approached it her nerves were aflutter in her stomach. She half expected to find an empty room or a study.

But behind the door was no such thing. Instead her eyes took in the sight of her childhood room exactly the same way she had left it. In one corner was her pink bed with her favorite quilt still neatly covering it. It was pink with white unicorns that she had fallen in love with because they reminded her of Star Dancer. It matched the unicorn lamp that sat upon the white table beside the bed. Against the foot of the bed sat a white wooden toy chest with the name Addison painted on in rose red letters. A woven pink and white rug covered the majority of the hardwood floor in this room. Beneath the window was a wooden bench her father had built her so she could play with her dolls or color. Beside it was a small bookshelf of children's books that her mother used to read to her. Bright white closet doors lined one wall. A small desk stood on the opposite wall holding her crayons and pencils. Her heart dropped when she noticed the tan stuffed bear sitting on her desk chair.

"Is that Harvest Queen?" Gill asked with a chuckle.

Addison spun to face him, "How did the know that?" she asked shocked.

"We used to play here sometimes. I remember you would take that bear with us into the fields and we would parade around, saying it was the parade of the Harvest Queen to make sure all of your crops grow big and healthy."

Addison picked up the bear & stared at it. It looked a bit dirty but other than that was exactly how she remembered. One year when she was small the island had a bad draught and the crops were doing poorly. Addison had woken up in the night to find her mother crying on the couch out of fear for their harvest that year. She had run into the room with tears in her eyes asking if all the plants would die & they would have no food. The next day her father had come to her with a beautiful tan bear wearing a pink bow. He explained to her that the Harvest King himself had made that bear for her, it was the Harvest Queen bear and as long as she kept it safe no harm would come to their family. Now grown Addison had no doubt the bear was simply an ordinary bear but she loved it just the same and held it tight to her chest.

"This was a good idea after all. I couldn't let just anybody have Harvest Queen," Addison said with a smile. It was the first time since arriving on the island she had felt genuinely happy. There was something incredibly loving about the fact that her father hadn't changed her room in all these years. She suddenly felt a pang of regret for handing the place over to a stranger so easily.

"Are you going to stay here tonight?" Gill asked her.

Addison shook her head, "I don't own this place anymore. Not to mention sleeping with this much dust can't be healthy. "

"Well you are always welcome to stay with me, we have plenty of room."

"I'm still mad at you, you know. I'm not thrilled that I have to stay here as it is, I don't think us staying together is exactly appropriate. I'll take a room at the inn."

Gill nodded his head in understanding though he would have rather Addison had accepted his offer. But all things considered he was glad she was talking to him instead of throwing him off the ferry dock – which she had been rather close to when he had broken the bad news.

"I need a favor," Addison announced as they made their way out of her childhood room, "I don't remember exactly how to get back to the graveyard. I want to thank my father."

After locking the house back up Gill led Addison back towards town. As they walked they made plans to pack up some items in the house the next day & decided Gill would accompany Addison back home Monday morning to help her carry whatever she decided she wanted to bring home with her. The two followed the steps through town until they reached the church plaza. The church bells chimed and a cool breeze blew the pink cherry blossoms through the air and onto the cobblestones. A large, furry white dog was asleep across the church steps. The temperatures were steadily dropping as evening began to creep across the sky.

Gill gestured to a staircase on their left, "The graveyard is down this way."

Addison hesitated for a second, "I don't mean to be rude but do you mind if I go alone?"

Gill agreed and reluctantly made his way back down the steps towards town. Addison lingered at the top of the stairs relieved to be alone for the first time all day. As she made her way down the steps the events of the day began to solidify for her. The family ranch was out of her hands now. Overnight she had gone from barely keeping food in the fridge to having more money than she had ever imaged possible for a waitress with a high school diploma. She could move her family into a nicer place, get a car and not have to ride the bus anymore, Tyler could even go to college if he wanted to. Yet the day was bittersweet. The relief of the day was combatted by the painful nostalgia that she had faced in the home. In her everyday life she was always busy and had little time to spend thinking or remembering the past. Being away had made her especially aware of how much she missed her father.

Once she reached the bottom she was greeted by rows of graves. Some had simple stone headstones while others were given more elaborate stone or marble headstones. As she scanned the names of the deceased she realized many of the simple stones were actually animal graves. This struck Addison as odd, she had forgotten how much people on this island valued animals. Her stomach knotted hard when her eyes fell on a grave labeled Christopher Jensen. His head stone was one of the more elaborate marble headstones with the years of his birth and death etched below his name followed by the words "Devoted rancher, father, and friend". The town had donated it due to the tragic circumstances leading up to his death. Addison sat down cross-legged in front of his grave, "Hi dad, long time no see," she said somberly.

Addison launched into telling her father all that had happened since he had passed. She talked about finishing high school, about her job, about her mother, their apartment, about Tyler, & how Gill had brought her back here. Even though her mind knew her father couldn't talk back & most likely couldn't hear her, her heart found comfort in the one-sided conversation. She didn't even try to fight the light tears that crept out between her words, she was too tired and too emotionally spent to care about resisting. She happened to glance down and notice a brilliant red rose was resting below the head stone. The picked it up and ran her fingers over the petals, which were still soft & vibrant. Looking around she noticed that every grave had a single red rose resting upon it. She jumped upon when she realized she wasn't alone as soon as she saw the woman placing roses on the last couple graves across the yard.

The woman had short purple hair and sad dark eyes. She pulled her pink shawl closer to her as the coolness of night filled the air. The woman wore a purple shirt and white floral skirt with roses as red as the ones she had placed on the graves. She looked up and noticed Addison staring at her. Addison flushed in embarrassment wondering if this woman had heard any of her rambling. The woman smiled softly and walked over to Addison.

"I hope I wasn't bothering you dear."

Addison wiped the remaining lingering tears off on her sleeve, "No its fine. Did you leave all these roses?"

"Yes. I would come and leave one on my husband's grave quite often and it made me sad to see so many graves left alone with no visitors or acknowledgements. So I started bringing more. Everybody deserves to be honored."

Suddenly Addison felt guilty for going so many years without visiting her father, "That is nice of you…sometimes it is just hard for some people to come back."

"It is just as hard for some of us to leave."

Addison glances back towards her father's grave, "I don't think the dead are offended by a lack of visits. In the beginning people come often but over time they come less and less. I think that is okay though. We don't honor the dead by visiting them, we honor them by living our lives in a way that would make them proud. We honor them by carrying what we have learned from them and passing it on to the living world. I think if I was dead it would make me really sad if my brother was always coming back to me instead of meeting new people and loving them."

A somber smile crept across the woman's lips, "You're rather wise for one so young. Which one was your father?"

Addison turned back towards her father, "This one. Christopher Jensen, the best father a daughter could ask for. "

"Addison," the woman gasped under her breath, eyes wide. The words were lost to the night breeze and didn't reach Addison's ears.

"I'm Mira, it was a pleasure to meet you young one. We don't see as many new young faces on this island anymore and certainly few who are as thought provoking conversation as you are." Mira introduced herself and extended her hand out towards Addison.

Addison took her hand and shook it politely. She wasn't sure if it was her imagination but she could have sworn Mira squeezed her hand slightly before releasing it. "My name is Addison. Thank you for your kind words but I'm not staying. I just came to address some family business."

"Regardless, I'm glad I met you tonight. I think I needed to hear what you had to say. My husband has been dead for many years but I just can't seem to find the strength to move on."

"The key is to just start moving. It doesn't happen all at once, for a while you have to fight through it. For a while it will hurt like hell and every thing you do will be a struggle. But you have to just keep getting up everyday and trying. Slowly you will start to find things you enjoy and things you look forward to. The pain doesn't ever really end, but you learn to make room for it. And you bring new joys into your life that makes it tolerable. You find ways to keep their lessons and memories in your life without focusing on the loss."

Addison remembered the first couple years after losing her father. Her mother's downward spiral had left her mourning for both of them, for the life they had together. School had been hard and work had been even harder. There had been days where she felt like she would never heal and getting out of bed in the morning took all the strength she thought she had. But life had slowly gotten better. She found purpose in trying to care for her mother and Tyler, for them she had pushed herself hard in a way she had hoped her father would have been proud of.

"I just don't know how to start," Mira admitted.

"Well what did you do before he died?"

"I used to make accessories. I really enjoyed it actually. I would make all sorts of jewelry and decorations from ores in the mine. My shop has been boarded up for awhile now though. How does one be creative when they can only think of one thing, and that one thing is so painful?"

Addison pondered this carefully before forming her answer, "Let the pain inspire you. Maybe they won't be accessories that anybody could want but it would at least be an outlet, a way to get your feelings out. Creating is a really good way to release emotions. I used to write poems, I never showed them to anybody but it was helpful."

Mira held on to Addison's every word. Her words her blunt and honest and made Mira consider her own actions over the years. Plenty of people on the island had offered her sympathy and attempted comfort but none had so bluntly told her to take responsibility for her own healing. Perhaps that was what she had been waiting for this whole time.

"Perhaps I will do just that. I don't have much to lose anymore."

"We always have something to lose. Our own lives, the lives of those around us who are still alive, there is always something. That is why you have to keep going. Every day you don't, you are losing precious bits of it. When my little brother was small I missed out on a lot because I chose to surround myself in sadness. That is something I can never get back and something I didn't have to miss."

"Your father would have been very happy with the woman you've become," Mira said gently.

Addison sighed, "It seems everybody here knows more about what he was like and what he would have thought but me. It seems I really missed more than I thought."

"You're young Addison. It isn't what you missed that matters as much as what you will make sure you won't miss in the future. I can tell by the way you speak that you probably don't feel young but as far as time is concerned you are."

She was young and Addison found herself wondering what she was going to be doing with the rest of her life. This question weighed on her mind long after she bid Mira goodnight and headed back into town towards the inn. Once she had secured a room she made her way towards the docks. Unlike the morning when they had been crowded the docks were now nearly deserted with only a couple people leisurely fishing. One couple was sitting snuggled close giggling and talking. Addison found a spot to herself and sat to eat a sandwich she had bough from the inn. What was she going to do? She could go back to waitressing but she hated that. College had never been something Addison had thought of. It saddened Addison to realize she didn't have any solid dreams or wants for the future. At that moment the money securing her future suddenly left her feeling vulnerable and worthless. Her whole purpose had been providing stability and that was no longer needed.

As she stared out into the vast, dark ocean Addison realized she was completely lost.