Chapter Twenty:
Pony Afterlife
"Pinkie Pie?"
No response.
"Pinkie Pie!"
The pink pony remained as blank-faced and emotionless as she had ever appeared. Her mane was straight and messy, and her pink hue had darkened quite a bit. She was lying on her back now, upon Commodity's sleeping pad. They had just finished the disgusting task of removing another dead body from the warehouse and depositing him into the river. This one had been particularly nasty; the entire cartridge had been emptied into him, and the size of those bullets must've been something else if they were capable of reducing him to the pile of gore he was when it was over. As he fell into his watery grave, it looked as if his top half may very well have separated from his bottom half. Many lunches were lost...
After the blood and remains were effectively cleaned from the warehouse floor, the group had pulled out the sleeping pad and helped Candy settle down into it. They were all laying upon it now, and while many of them appeared tired, weak and shaken, Daylight was right up in Candy's face, glaring intently at her, addressing her by her real name.
"Um, Daylight?" Butterfly asked meekly from next to her. "I thought her name was supposed to be Candy."
"I'm not talking to Candy. I'm talking to Pinkie Pie," Daylight snapped back, causing the shy pegasus to squeak in fear and hide behind her mane. Daylight couldn't be bothered to feel any sympathy for Butterfly at that time; she had to get through to her other friend. "Pinkie, we need to talk about something right now."
"Daylight, ya sure ya oughta be doin' this now?" OJ asked in a tired voice. "Ain't she been through enough already?"
"If we don't get this out of the way now, it's just gonna keep getting worse and worse," Daylight said. "It sure as hay won't do us any good to bring this up once this whole ordeal is over. I just want to put this whole thing behind us and never think of it again, and part of that means coming to terms with this particular issue right here and now." She turned back to her distraught pink friend "Pinkie, you called your father a murderer..."
Hash suddenly gasped and shot straight up. "Are you kiddin' me, Daylight?" She snapped. "She just killed somepony who may not have deserved to die and you're bringing up her stupid father again? I think that would be the last thing to worry about now!"
"HASH, BACK THE FUCK OFF!" Daylight roared in a voice that caused the building to shake. Hash went wide-eyed, and as badly as she wanted to retort, the look of pure rage in the lavender unicorn's eye's kept her silent, lest she have her head blasted off. Daylight spun back around to Candy/Pinkie. "Pinkie, who did your father kill? Did you see it? What happened with you? You said he had really horrible ways of punishing you when you were bad; what did he do to you?"
"Daylight, do you really think this is the proper time to-" Commodity was silenced by an angry glare.
"Pinkie, I want to know what happened; it's clearly eating you up. It doesn't take an egghead to see that the reason you reacted to that stallion the way you did is because you had your father on your mind." Daylight's tone softened a bit. "You've been keeping something hidden, supressed, for a long time now. All these years you've been smiling, laughing, singing and dancing... it was all part of keeping something terrible hidden from the rest of us. Now, we've all done terrible, terrible things the past few days, and we've still got one more really terrible thing left to do. But in all honesty, I don't feel the least bit safe going into that bank tomorrow unless I know we're all thinking clearly and not being haunted by crap that happened long ago. So please, just be open with me. I just want to help..."
"I..." Pinkie finally broke the silence, though it took her moment to continue. "When I said it was impossible for my mom to help me..."
That was all the needed to be said as Daylight's eyes widened. "He... he killed your mother?! Is that what you're saying?! Did you see it happen?! Wha- what happened, Pinkie?!"
"I... I barely remember it. I've tried so hard to never think of it, to just keep smiling and forget all about it... but it's always been there in the back of my mind," Pinkie whimpered. All eyes were on her now, most of them glossed over with tears. "I told you my parents were really really really strict when it came to the rock farm. My mommy... she could be pretty mean when she wanted to, but I could tell she loved me and my sisters. Whenever she punished me... it was tough, but she always made sure to let me know that she loved me, and that she only did what she did 'cause she was trying to protect me.
"But my daddy... he was... something was wrong with him. It was like that rock farm was his whole world... nothing else mattered to him. His family was just there to keep it intact. I... I don't know why he felt that way, and I don't know what was wrong with him, but if I or one of my sisters ever did anything to... mess anything up... he... he..." Pinkie closed her eyes and turned her head away. "I don't want to say. It wasn't good; that should be enough for you all."
Daylight sighed sadly and thought on that for a moment. There was no way she could force Pinkie to go into any detail if it was that bad. The fear in her voice, the kind of fear that was almost never associated with the gleeful pink pony, was enough of a sign that her fillyhood was ugly beyond compare. The kind of ugly that would keep one awake at night for years after.
"Alright, Pinkie," Daylight said soothingly. "If it's really that difficult to talk about, then you don't have to. It's just..." she took another moment to think. These past few hours had probably been the most painful, frustrating, and utterly draining hours of her life. And she still had tomorrow to look forward to...
"I'm sorry, girls," Pinkie whispered. "I just don't want to make things harder on you than they already are. I mean, you were all no better off than I was growing up. Why should I force more nastiness on you?"
"Oh, Pinkie dear," Commodity rolled over to face her friend and gave her a gentle nuzzle. "Don't ever talk that way; we care about you very much. If anything ever bothers you, you shouldn't be afraid to tell us, no matter how horrible it may have been."
"She's right, Pinkie," OJ commented. "We've all had a tough go at life. But that don't mean we care any less what the other important ponies in our lives go through. Ya said yer folks were mighty picky about that rock farm o' yers? Mah folks were purty much the same with our own farm. Though, the worst they ever did ta us was give us a good switchin' if we ever stepped outta line. It was a might painful, but it was nutin' Ah couldn't handle. But you... if ya can't even bring yerself ta talk about it... Ah reckon Ah had easy compared ta you."
"I... It was... so hard to spend every day not knowing how tough it was going to be," Pinkie said in a hushed tone. "My sisters and I worked so hard every day. We never complained or whined -at least not out loud- and we always got our work done in the end. But it was still never enough for him. He was the toughest, meanest, nastiest, sickest daddy a pony could ever ask for! I don't know why..." she trailed off there, sounding on the verge of tears once again.
"Pinkie," Daylight began in a comforting tone. "It sounds like there were a lot of deep psychological issues with him. I'm not really well-read in that field, but it seems like he had some kind of pathilogical need to be successful with that rock farm. How much do you know of your family's history with the farm?"
"Not much," Pinkie relied with a sniffle. "Just that it's been in our family for a long time."
"I see," Daylight said thoughtfully. "Maybe he felt he had real responsibility to keeping it up standard? That's not entirely unheard of when one is given such a major task to undertake."
Hash gave Daylight a nasty glare. "Ya know, Day, it's starting to sound like you're trying to justify what that prick did to Candy or Pinkie or whatever the fuck we're calling her now..."
"What? No!" Daylight gasped. "No no no, never! It doesn't matter how much he cared about that farm; nothing, nothing gives anypony the right to treat others the way he treated his family!"
You mean like the way we've been treating other ponies this whole trip? A small voice sounded in the back of Daylights head. Shut up, conscience!
Pinkie was silent for a while. Her friends all stared at her intently, hoping she would continue, but not wanting to push her. She hiccupped a couple times, then started speaking again, this time in a very high, whimpering tone. "I don't what I did wrong! I... I always tried to be a good little filly! I always did my chores, I never complained, I... never even smiled! My daddy hated smiling, especially when we were working. He thought it 'decreased productivity' somehow." She turned to look at Hash, and for the first time in a long while, a small smile graced her features. "It wasn't until I saw your rainbow, Dashie- I mean, Hashie, that I smiled for the first time. That I... felt happiness, and hope, for the first time.
"That was when I tried to throw my first party. I wanted to do something for my sisters, seeing as they had it just as bad as I did. I wanted them to smile for the first time, just like I did. I almost thought of having my daddy be there as well, just to see if he could learn to smile like I did. I think he would've had a very nice smile; his face just kinda had that quality to it. I often imagine what would've happened if he had decided to come to it... and if he had managed to smile. When the Cutie Mark Crusaders came to me asking about my cutie mark story, I told them my whole family was at my first party, just because, well... their young, and I didn't want to scare them."
"You know, Pinkie," Daylight gently interrupted. "I sometimes think of my family in a different way when I remember my fillyhood. Granted I in no way had it as difficult as you growing up, it's just... every other pony had a mother a father who were proud of them, and were always pushing them to greatness. when I got my cutie mark, my mother... did absolutely nothing. She just didn't care. It's like I was nothing to her. I always imagine what it would've been like to have a mother and father who were proud of me..." she thought on that for a moment, then slowly shook her head. "Gosh, I'm sorry, Pinkie. Here you are, trying to open up to us, and I won't shut up about my insignificant little problems."
Pinkie smiled again. This time it seemed much warmer. "'S'okay, Daylight. I'm happy knowing that you guys didn't have it as bad as me. Nopony deserves what my sister and I went through. But when I threw that party for them, it was honestly the first time I ever saw them having any fun, and it made me so happy for the first time in my life. It's... all I ever wanted to do in life: just make ponies happy, make them smile. But then, when my daddy found out what we were doing... he... he lost it! I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a break! He hadn't given us any jobs to do, I didn't think he'd get so upset! He... pinned me down and..." Pinkie stopped there.
"He... he didn't..." Commodity was at a loss for words, a horrified expression on her face.
"He tried to strangle me," Pinkie whimpered. "But my mommy, she tried to stop him. She finally stood up to him, because he was always hard on her too. She yanked him off me, and they fought. He was too powerful for her though. He had her on the ground quickly, and... he wouldn't stop pressing down on her throat. Even while she was being strangled, she still somehow managed to scream for me and my sisters to run. And that's what we did; we just ran. We left her to d-die..."
The pink pony broke down into heavy sobs there. Butterfly, who'd had trouble simply facing Pinkie moments ago, still unable to shake off the look of insane rage in her eyes when she mowed down that stallion, finally found the courage to poke her head out of her mane. She turned towards her sobbing friend and brought herself up onto her haunches. She gently pulled Pinkie's head into her lap and began to lovingly stroke her mane. It was something she did often for her animals whenever they were sick or down. Occasionally she would try it on Angle whenever he was in one of his moods. It almost always worked.
Right now, no matter how horrible the past few hours had been, no matter how terrible the act she had committed was... Pinkie was still her friend, and right now she needed some loving kindness. Pinkie slowly opened red, swollen eyes and looked up into the gently smiling face of Butterfly. Pinkie sniffled and managed a small smile. "Hi, Flutters," she whispered.
"Hi, Pinkie," Butterfly cooed as she continued to stroke her friends mane.
"Do you... still think I'm a monster?" Pinkie asked quietly.
Butterfly leaned down and gave her friend a gentle kiss on the forehead. "No, Pinkie. I never did... and I never will. What happened earlier with that stallion, it was... I know you were just angry. I was too."
"We all were," Daylight muttered. "And I'll say right now that if Pinkie hadn't pulled the trigger, I probably would've."
"I must admit I was mere seconds away from ripping him apart as well," Commodity said coldly. "The nerve of him, calling me greedy. If there's one thing I will not tolerate, it is ponies assuming I am one of those dreadful Canterlot snobs."
"Look at it this way, Pinks," Hash said. "If I had gotten to him first, that would've been ugly. What you did to him was merciful compared to what I would've done."
"Ah was purty close ta losin' it mahself," OJ admitted with a sigh.
Pinkie looked around at all her friends, her eyes welling up again. She had been so convinced they hated her now for what she did. Yet here they were, still trying to make her feel better. Offering her comfort when she needed it most. And the horror they showed at hearing about her horrid time on the rock farm... She had been foalish to even think that they wouldn't care about her. After all they had been through together, not even murder was enough to turn them against her.
"Thank you, girls," she whispered, tears staining her cheeks. "Thank you for making me feel better. I'm so sorry I did what I did. I... I never wanted to be this way. I never wanted to have to kill anypony. Never. I didn't want to be like my daddy." Her sobs became louder. "All I ever wanted was to make ponies smile. To make them happy. Why... why does life have to be so hard? Why do bad things happen to good ponies?"
Daylight rolled towards the sobbing earth pony and took her hoof in her own. "Nopony knows, Pinkie," she said soothingly. "Celestia once told me that somethings in the world are just impossible to explain. Kind of like your Pinkie Sense. We can guess, experiment, make theories, hypothesis'... but there are just some things that can't be easily explained. Why does it feel like ponies who go through life trying be good and virtuous end up in difficult situations while ponies who lie and cheat and steal seem to have everything going there way? Or an even better question: why do some ponies turn out the way they do? What could possibly drive one to commit acts of evil? To just... take the beautiful gift of life and waste it on doing horrible things? I just don't understand..."
"Ya ever reckon that maybe some ponies are just born that way?" OJ interjected. "That there's just somthin' wrong with 'em the moment they suck in there first breath?"
"I don't think I buy that," Hash chimed in, shaking her head. "How can you look at innocent little newborn, just laying there or whatever, looking all... cute and junk, and think that there's evil in there? It doesn't make sense to me. I personally think something has to happen to you, something significant, that just... fucks you up in ways you can't even imagine, that just changes your entire thought process and makes you go totally bat-shit insane and just... I dunno. I'm not the egghead here. Daylight, what do you think?"
Daylight didn't say anything at first. She didn't feel this was exactly the best time for a philisophical exploration of the nature of ponies. So much more important stuff had to be on all their minds right then. Still, she couldn't deny how interesting this conversation had turned. It was definitely helping with taking her mind off the events that had transpired that whole week. "I can't really say I know for sure, Hash," she said thoughtfully. "I mean, psychology was never my strong suit, though I have attempted to study it whenever I could. It's fascinating, but there are just so many factors to consider when learning about ones mental state."
She turned to look at Pinkie, who had just about dozed off in Butterfly's lap. "Pinkie?" The pink pony opened her eyes and stared up at her friend curiously. "I don't think I could ever give a proper answer for why your father was the way he was... or why any of our parents were the way they were. But what I can tell you is that you had nothing to do with what he was. None of it was your fault. I don't know if you ever felt that way, but just know it's not true."
Pinkie sniffled again and smiled, this time it was a little more pronounced. "I never really felt like I did anything wrong," she said. "At least not to my daddy. That meany pants just couldn't stand to see me happy. But my mommy..." Pinkie's smile faded. "I shouldn't have left her. After she protected my sisters and I, we just left her to die."
"Hey now, Pinkie," OJ said as she moved over to to nuzzle her friend. "Yer mother was doin' what any good mother should do; protectin' her young. You were mighty lucky ta have at least one carin' adult pony in yer life." She added bitterly, "Ah certainly can't say the same for mahself."
"Didn't you have Granny Smith?" Hash asked.
"Well yeah, but we only saw her on holidays," OJ replied. "It wasn't 'till after mah folks were gone that she came ta live with us. Help us take care o' the farm she grew up on. It was nice havin' her with us... well, Ah guess she's still with us, though Ah can't say it'll be fer much longer..." OJ's eyes began to well up. She felt a hoof wrap around her own, and saw that it was Hash who had shown this act of kindness, though she looked a little uneasy about the obvious mushiness involved.
"I'm sorry I brought it up," she murmured. "I forgot she wasn't in good shape when we left."
OJ exhaled slowly and leaned into her pergasus friend/rival. "'T'aint nutin', Hash. She's an old mare, lived a good long life; it's only natural she'd be on the last leg o' her journey by now. Ah jus' want her ta see her farm back on it's hooves again before she goes. Sweet Apple Acres means a lot ta her, ya know? But at least she knew ta treat her family right as well. Ah owe it ta her to save our home... her home.
"Which is why Ah ain't fully regretin' what we're gonna be doin' tamorrow."
Daylight's eyes widened a bit at this, as did everypony else's. "Really?" She said in disbelief. "And you were the hardest one to convince to go through with this..."
"Ah know," OJ said. "And Ah ain't sayin' Ah'm proud of it. Ah'm sayin' Ah've come ta accept it as somethin' that jus' needs ta be done. Ain't gonna look back on this and laugh, that's fer sure, but Ah'm gonna go through with it, fer better 'r worse."
Daylight sighed. "I think we all share that sentiment, OJ." She turned to Pinkie again. "So, what happened after you ran away? If you feel like sharing, that is. You've already told us so much."
Pinkie sighed slowly, then nodded. "It's okay. It kinda feels good getting this off my chest. I've been keeping it all bottled up inside me for so long that it wasn't going to be long before it just exploded out of me like a big ol' firework." For the first time in a while, Pinkie showed some of her usual bravado as she made an explosive gesture with her hooves, prompting a round of small giggles from the others. Pinkie continued, "Well, my sisters and I just ran and ran as far as we could. We didn't care where we were going, we just had to get away. I don't remember when exactly, but at one point we got separated. I can't remember when or how it happened though. I was on my own for a while until I finally ended up in Ponyville. The Cakes took me in, gave me a job and a home..." she added quietly, "And a family...
"Then I met you all, and you've all shown me more love and affection in the couple years we've known each other than I ever got during my entire fillyhood."
Now everypony was tearing up. Even Hash couldn't stifle a few sobs. Butterfly stopped stroking Pinkie's mane and proceeded to wrap her fore legs around her head in a loving embrace. "We do love you, Pinkie Pie," she crooned. "Nothing will ever change that. You'll always be the happy, silly, joyful pony who always brings smiles to our faces whenever we're down."
"We cherish you more than you could ever know, Pinkie," Daylight whispered as she scooted in to nuzzle her.
Everypony else gathered together, and soon they were enveloped in a big group hug, with Pinkie Pie at the center of it. The dams in her eyes burst, and she let herself collapse into the warm embrace of her dear friends. "Thank you," she whispered. "You're the bestest bestest best friends a pony could ever hope for."
The group let their hug last for a good ten minutes. This time no crotchety old bigots were around to spoil the moment. When they finally broke apart, it was Hash who spoke first. "Jeez, and I thought my life was fucked up."
To her surprise, instead of being scolded for another rather crude remark, the group actually giggled a bit. Hash sighed in relief at that; she'd felt like she'd been walking on egg shells around the others for a while now. It was nice that they could loosen up a bit, especially after such an intense conversation.
"Well," Daylight said after a moment of silence. "I think it's time we hit the sack; tomorrow... it's gonna be ugly. That's all I can say."
As the others all settled back onto the sleeping pad, OJ suddenly had a look of apprehension on her face. "Gosh, are... are ya'll sure we're really set ta do this?" She asked. "Ah mean, wouldn't ya rather take one more day ta prepare?"
Hash scoffed loudly. "Are you kiddin' me? I've never felt more ready for anything in my life!"
"Are ya sure 'bout that?" OJ asked, sounding rather unsure of herself. "Ah mean, sure we've learned a lot taday about shootin' and movin' and what have ya, but we still ain't exactly at the level o' military 'r SWAT teams."
"Well, it's like Daylight's been saying," Hash replied. "If everything happens the way it should in the bank tomorrow, we won't have to worry about any of that."
"Ah know, but... ain't there some kinda sayin', 'Always expect the worst; that way ya can only be pleasantly surprised?'"
"Pfft, sounds like the kinda thinking only a loser would say."
"Well still, anythin' could happen tamorrow. Am Ah right?"
"True," Daylight answered. "It doesn't hurt to be prepared. But honestly, I feel ready to do this tomorrow; the sooner we get it over with, the sooner we can put it behind us."
"Daylight's right," Hash remarked. "We're gonna be a total force tomorrow! Just watch; nopony's gonna stand in our way!"
But OJ still didn't look very reassured. "But... what if... what if somethin' really goes wrong, and... somethin' happens ta one of us? Like... one of us doesn't make it?"
Commodity gasped audibly. "Gracious, OJ, don't think like that!" She chided. "I couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like without one of you!"
"Ah'm awful sorry, Commodity, but Ah just can't stop thinkin' about..." she trailed off there.
"You can't stop thinking about what?" Hash prodded.
"Well it's... kinda weird," OJ mumbled. "But... have ya'll ever thought about what happens after we die?"
Everypony, even Pinkie Pie, who had yet to return to her codename, stared at her with expressions of confusion. One by one they answered:
"No, not really."
"Can't say I have."
"Nopey nope."
"Hardly."
"Um, I'm afraid not."
OJ sighed and shook her head. "Ah honestly thought Ah wasn't the only one. Ah mean, Ah'd have thought you'd have been curious at least, Daylight."
"Well," Daylight began thoughtfully. "It's not really something I think about often, but I have heard some ponies offer theories on that topic, though none of them can be confirmed as one-hundred percent true. It's a touchy subject, after all. You can't just bring a pony back to life and ask him what he's been up to since he died. Not even the Princesses can do that."
"They'll never know though, won't they," Butterfly said in a soft tone. "I mean, they're immortal."
"That means they won't succumb to old age or illness," Daylight explained. "They doesn't mean they're invulnerable to swords or spears or..." she hesitated for a moment. "Or bullets." A terrifying thought entered her mind of Celestia staring her down at the end of a long street, bullets whizzing past her head at she and her friends fought their way up the road, which was packed with police and SWAT ponies. Daylight was faced with the horrifying prospect of having to take down her mentor, the ruler of all Equestria... and the closest thing to a mother she ever had...
No, that's ridiculous. Twilight scolded herself internally. If she knew about what we were doing, she would've stopped it by now. She's probably got her hooves full with Spike.
"Well, now that Ah've brought it up, waddya'll think?" OJ asked.
"About what happens when we die?" Daylight specified, receiving a nod from OJ. "Well, I have to clarify that these are just theories, and we will probably never know for sure, but I've heard some interesting ones, a little goofy as well, but interesting nonetheless. Like that one about coming back as some kind of animal."
Butterfly's eyes brightened, and she gave her first smile in long time. "Really? That sounds so wonderful! I hope it's true."
"Ah dunno 'bout that one," OJ frowned and shook her head. "Ah mean, what if Ah die and come back as a dog 'r somethin'? What am Ah gonna do? Will Ah remember ya'll? Will Ah try ta find ya and hang around ya again? Ya'd probably be yellin' at me ta 'git!' 'r somethin'."
Butterfly frowned a bit. "Well, I think it sounds like a beautiful thing," she said rather assertively. "I hope I come back as a fish. I've always wanted to live underwater; it's so mysterious and beautiful."
"Well, keep in mind these are just theories, Butterfly," Daylight reminded her animal loving friend. "And personally, that one seems pretty unlikely to me."
Butterfly folded her fore legs and gave a rather cute pout. From next to her, she heard a giggle, then felt a gentle nuzzle from a pink cheek. That got her to smile again.
"Alright, you're not inta the whole comin' back as an animal thing," OJ said. "What's another theory ya got fer us?"
"Hmmm," Daylight thought for a moment. "Well, there's the one Celestia had..."
Hash snorted. "Oh, this oughta be good," she snarked.
Daylight ignored the comment and took a moment to steel herself. This was a theory she herself actually put some stock into. She was by no means one-hundred percent sure of it, but it was among the more plausible she'd heard. Due in no small part to the fact that Celestia, her wise beyond her years mentor, seemed to hold a mild belief in it.
Daylight cast off the fears that her friends would laugh at this one and spoke. "Celestia once told me that she thinks there may be these two alternate universes that exist beyond Equestria. Depending on how we choose to live our lives here on Equestria, we go to one of these places when we pass on."
"Depending on how we choose to live our lives?" Commodity sounded a tad confused.
"Yeah, like, if we live a good, virtuous life, when we die we go somewhere we'll have nothing but eternal bliss and joy. contrariwise, if we choose to live our lives committing acts of evil and cruelty, we go somewhere we'll endure torment and misery for all eternity. Kinda like Tartarus or something."
Daylight took a moment to gauge her friend's reactions. Some of them looked rather intrigued, while others looked a bit more skeptical.
"Eh... sounds like a story somepony would make up to keep ponies on straight and narrow or something," Hash said. "You know, like the boogeypony or something?"
"I think it sounds rather enticing," Commodity chimed in. "Spending all of eternity in a land of eternal bliss... sounds like a never ending trip to the spa!"
"Well, don't hold me to any of this, girls," Daylight said. "Like I've said several times now: these aren't proven facts, they're just theories. Celestia came up with it when she heard of ponies who have been clinically dead for a few minutes reporting seeing a bright light at the end of a long tunnel. She assumes it could be like a portal to another world of some kind. Though it's difficult to tell if the word of those ponies can be taken seriously, but it hasn't been ruled out as a possibility."
"Well, suppose that particular theory turns out ta be true," OJ said. "Where do ya think we'd end up goin'?"
Commodity gasped at that question. "Really, OJ! Where are you getting these morbid assumptions? Nopony will die tomorrow! I guarantee it! We've prepared to well for this."
"Look, it ain't outta the realm o' possibility is all Ah'm sayin'," OJ snapped. "But if one o' us should meet a nasty end, Celestia forbid, where do ya think we'd end up?"
Hash decided to answer that. "Well, assuming that whole thing is true, which I personally doubt... I think we'd be set up in Happy Town or whatever the good place is called."
OJ stared at her incredulously. "Really? Ya honestly think that? After what we've done the past few days?" She asked in disbelief. "Think about it; the past couple days we've killed, tortured, brutalized, stolen, and tamorrow, we're gonna be stealin' some more. Ah'm purty damn sure those kinds o' acts would be factored in when we finally pass on."
"Well, yeah but..." Hash argued. "Do you really think we deserve eternal torment and agony for that? I mean, sure we haven't exactly been model citizens the past few days, but c'mon! We've done way more good in our lives than bad. We don't deserve a place like that."
"Um, well then, who do you think deserves a place like that?" Butterfly asked meekly.
Hash thought for a moment. "Ya know, the worst kinds of ponies. The kinds of ponies we've been dealing with the past few days; those nasty ass punks who rape and kill for fun, guys who profit on violence and death, those sick fucks who molest and torture little foals for pleasure, those world leaders who have entire races killed just because they don't share the same political views or something. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Evil ponies. We're not evil. We're not monsters." That last part seemed directed at Butterfly. "We just fucked up royally and were taking an extreme measure to fix it. It's not pretty, but it's gonna get done, and we and the ones closest to us are all going to be better off for it."
Everypony took a moment to consider Hash's words; they were uncharacteristically wise for her, and even a bit comforting to some. Pinkie in particular was relieved to hear that the icky word "evil" wouldn't be associated with her, like she had always associated with her father. She never wanted to be him after all...
"They're still just theories, girls," Daylight eventually said. "I mean, maybe nothing happens when we die. Maybe we just rot in the ground or something. Like going into a long, dreamless sleep."
A pregnant pause followed that "charming" sentiment.
"Oh, that sounds so... depressing," Butterfly said sadly. "Who would want to go though life thinking that?"
"It's the only thing that makes sense to me," Hash added. "Though, if that whole alternate world thing turns out to be true, I don't think I'll be too disappointed." Another long silence passed as everypony just took in the nature of the conversation. These were topics they had never once thought they'd be discussing with each other; life had just seemed so much simpler before everything went to Tartarus. Hash spoke again before too long. "Seriously though, whatever happens tomorrow, it doesn't change anything about us; we'll still be the same ponies we were before this whole thing was inflicted on us."
"Do you really believe that, Hashie?" Pinkie asked. "I don't want to be changed by this."
"You better believe I believe it!" Hash said confidently. "Pinkie... or should we start calling you Candy again?"
"Oh please do! I'm kinda starting to like that name!" Candy answered with her widest smile yet.
"Alrighty then, Candy," Hash continued. "When this is all over, you'll still be that crazy party pony who always knows how to make us smile and laugh when we really need it."
Candy grinned wider than ever now. It was as if the trauma of the conversation moments ago had been cast from her mind completely.
Hash then turned to Commodity. "And Commodity? The fact that you're doing this all for your sister shows that you're still one of the most generous and caring ponies I know." Commodity smiled warmly at her friend. Hearing that definitely made the coming trials seem much more possible... and necessary.
"And you, OJ," Hash turned to her friend/rival. "I'd still trust you with my life. Nothing would ever change that." Hash extended her hoof, and OJ, with a small grin on her face, gave it a bump.
"Butterfly," Hash next turned to her fellow pegasus, who actually managed to make eye-contact. "I... well there's no way I can say this without sounding like a total sap, but I'll say it anyway: you're an absolute sweetheart, and I value your kindness more than you can ever know."
"Oh, Hash," Butterfly sounded close to tearing up. "I value your friendship too." She reached across and gave her a big hug, which Hash returned with a slight blush.
After breaking apart, Hash pointed to herself next, a slightly smug expression gracing her features. "As for me," she said. "There's still no way I'd ever leave any of you hangin'!" Her smugness faded a bit. "Hay, I'd... I'd even throw myself in front of a dragons flame to protect any one of you girls. And I mean that."
Everypony nodded solemnly, as if they never doubted that for a second. Finally, Hash turned to Daylight, who looked deeply interested to hear what Hash had to say about her. "And as for you, Daylight. You're the one who brought us all together. The one who's led us safely through numerous adventures. No matter what happens tomorrow, we'd still follow you to Tartarus and back!"
"Yehaw!" OJ cheered.
"I heartily agree!" Commodity whooped.
"Yeperrrrrrinooooooo!" Candy added.
"We have your back, Daylight. No matter what," Butterfly came in at the end, sounding as boisterous as she possibly could.
Daylight glanced around at all her friend, and the tears slowly began to fall as she took in their confident gazes. "Th-thank you all so much," she choked out. "Th-that was just what I needed to hear. I feel so ready to do this now." She wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. "And you know something else? I don't doubt for a second that we will still be able to wield the Elements of Harmony when this is all over. I mean, they chose us for a reason after all, and for the past few days we've still shown why they chose us, in spite of how ugly it's been. We're still Equestria's heroes, no matter what!"
Everypony gave a confident nod, and without even a single word, the group slowly began to recline back into sleeping positions. They had all the pep talk they needed. Now, it was a good nights sleep that was esscential. Only Daylight remained sitting up-right on her haunches, looking over her friends with a calm smile, a calm smile that slowly began to fade as she watched over their peaceful faces. These five ponies who were so precious to her, who had come to meant he world to her... tomorrow they were about to put their lives and morality on the line... and she was ultimately the one responsible for whatever happened to them.
It was all of the sudden too much to take in. The confidence that she felt just moments ago had suddenly evaporated, replaced by cold dread and fear. What the hay was she thinking? Putting them through this? Forcing them into this sitution? No. She wasn't forcing them into anything. She remembered that day in the Everfree Forest all too welll; she had not forced them into anything. They were all here of their own free will. They had chosen to join her. What they did tomorrow, they did willingly. She shouldn't be feeling this way...
It wasn't long before her stomach began to twist and turn, and the feeling of bile forcing it's way up her throat began to take hold of her. Daylight began to breathe heavily, sweat pouring down her face. She wouldn't be able to keep it down for long. She had to get out of there; she didn't want to be seen like this.
"Um, g-girls?" She said as she took off at a canter towards the exit. "I... I'll be right back. I just need some alone time to-" she gasped as she tried to keep the bile down. "-to think some things over."
Commodity lifted her head slightly. "Are you alright, darling?" She asked with concern.
"I'm fine! Just fine!" Daylight called as she began to speed up. "Just need a moment to myself!" She burst through the door, letting it slam shut behind her.
The group exchanged worried looks, but elected to leave the lavender unicorn be. One by one they drooped back onto the pad.
Outside the Warehouse, Daylight sped with all due speed towards the end of the dock, her cheeks puffing out as she reached the edge. Once there, she let it all out, retching loudly and violently. The horror of the whole situation became shockingly clear to her as she vomited; they were miles from home, in a city they hardly knew, hiding out in a warehouse stock-piled with illeagal weapons and explosives, they had been responsible for numerous crimes already, they were about to perform what may very well be the largest robbery in Equestrian history... this was utter madness, and Daylight couldn't believe it had taken up until now to realize that.
"This... this is so fucked up," Daylight choked out, echoing an earlier sentiment of Hash's.
"Not exactly the words I would've used. Though that does seem to be a rather accurate appraisal of the situation... my faithful student..."
Daylight had her eyes squeezed shut as she was vomiting. And now that she had heard that familiar, regal voice sound off right next to her, she was sure she didn't want to open them. It couldn't have been real. She had to have been hearing things. There was no way...
Slowly, she let her eyelids part, and even through the hot tears burning her eyes, she could easily make out the reflection of her mentor, Princess Celestia, in the water, standing right behind her...
Okay, after an ending like that, this may seem like a wierd place to shamelessly plug some things, but I've got a few thing I wanna tell ya'll about. First, I've got another story out; it's my first attempt at comedy, as well as a chance to combine my two passions in life: MLP and Football. Check it out if you haven't already and let me know what you think of it. It was honestly the most fun I ever had writing anything!
Second, A writer named Mcpeach has written kind of an alternate take on the robbery of this story called When Good Ponies Go Bad: Blue Shift. It's pretty damn good, so give it some attention if you can.
Thanks for your patience with this chapter. I'll try to never take this long again. Thanks for reading. More soon!