I don't want any lunch, but I agree to eat something when dad points out that I can't execute our plan on an empty stomach. But the knowledge of what I've lost burns within me. My heart aches, a constant pain that makes it hard to breathe. Losing Mulch is like losing a part of me. The part that forgives and forgets. The part that shows mercy. The part that lets me shed a tear when the pain is most grueling.
I don't know how to move forward without him, but I have to. I have to put my plan in motion. Go to Alvin and fake out a surrender. Attack when he least expects it. Signal the dragons to fly over and fire. Bring Alvin down.
The only sure advantage I know I have is that he probably thinks I'm broken so badly he's already won. I can't wait to prove him wrong.
I go home and change into my Dragon Conqueror suit. Then strap my sheath of arrows and my bow. I look down and realize I still have the berries in my hidden pocket. There for the purpose if I were to get captured. So even if this plan were to go wrong, and I end up getting thrown in a dungeon, I could easily eat my way out of it before they even get the chance to torture me.
Strangely, this thought comforts me.
As I'm adjusting my boot, Dad walks up the steps into my room. "It's time son. The boats are ready." He looks at me up and down and almost frowns. I know the fact of bringing me back into battle isn't the most pleasant idea. Especially after what I've been through. But I need to do this if Mulch is to get the justice he deserves.
At the docks, I adjust Toothless's saddle before we take off. I take a quick look around and notice that Bucket's not with us. I ask around and Gobber pulls me aside and says that shortly after the meeting, the realization of Mulch's death finally hit. And it hit hard. With half of his brain left, he went mad. He allegedly ran off by himself and hid. He's too unstable to fight in the war.
My heart gets stabbed then sinks to my stomach. I clutch my chest and back into Toothless who leans his head into my shoulder in an attempt of comfort. I place my hand on his snout for balance. Mulch, dead. Bucket, mad.
I want to go see him. And I'm about to do it, but Dad grabs my shoulder. I look to him with desperation in my eyes. He frowns and turns me to face him. "We can visit him later. Right now he needs rehabilitation. We can visit him when he's, safer. I promise."
Safer? He's not safe. Not anymore. He's harmless whether mad or stable, or if he even had a full brain. If he can survive without half his brain, I assumed he can survive without Mulch.
But compared to the way I reacted, times ten. Twenty. Forty. I'm dead wrong.
I might not even see Bucket again if this plan is to go wrong. So I should go see him. Then again, he could look to me and see that it was my fault since Alvin killed him to scare me, and Bucket could see me as a threat and take it out on me. Though I highly doubt it.
But nonetheless, I agree with dad to visit Bucket later. When I ask who's taking care of him, he says that Goathy has taken the responsibility. I feel a little better since she's the best choice that I can think of. But no one knew Bucket like Mulch.
There was just something about their friendship that seemed deeper than just being a guardian or a therapist. It's like me and Toothless. Something so much deeper. Much more meaningful.
I file away a personal promise to visit Bucket. If I ever see him again.
The fly seemed too short as we approach the shores of Outcast Island. We land the dragons a few yards from the city so that they can hear the signal while still staying out of sight.
Even from the air I can see Mildew among the group. The sight of him boils my anger to the brim. But he's not my main priority. I lead the army to start the walk to the Outcast city. I pull my hood up over my head so it conceals my face, like I'm trying to look elusive. On the way, Skullette joins me and locks our fingers together, and together we walk to the city.
Once we reach the outer perimeter of the city, the wall bordering around it comes into view. We reach the iron gates which have doubled in size compared to the ones at the tower. As expected, two guards are posted outside. I try my best to look defeated as Skullette releases my hand. I walk up to the guards. My hood obscures my eyes from the guards, and I keep my cloak wrapped around me, but still make it obvious that I'm in my Dragon Conqueror uniform.
"I'm here to see Alvin." I say. The two guards look at each other, and one reaches forward and yanks my hood down before I have time to flinch. I lift my head and look them in the eyes.
They smirk, now knowing why I'm supposedly here. They step aside and open the gates while one orders one posted in a turret to alert Alvin. The other guides us to where Alvin is. As we walk in I put my hood back up. To give myself a little comfort, I keep my hand on the butt of my knife. Just to remind myself I have something to protect me.
As we're walking I peer out from my hood and see all eyes on us. Since they can't see my face, the face of my Dad and Gobber probably give off hints. I look ahead and see that he's leading us to the supposed Great Hall of the Outcasts. An active volcano with fresh smoke emanating from its mouth. Not too far from it is gallows. With nooses still swinging in the cold breeze.
I shudder and feel for Skullette's hand. She takes it instinctively. I think back to a legend of a man who was accused of murder, and when was getting ready to be hanged, he called out to his lover, and told her to flee. To run away.
The thought scares me, but at the same time, when I got older, I couldn't help but think as to why. Normally people would think he told her to flee so she wouldn't have to witness his execution. Reasonable. But I kept thinking, if they were truly, madly, deeply in love, is it possible he was telling her to run and join him?
Would he rather have her commit suicide than to live a life without him? Or was it so that she wouldn't have to suffer by living a life without him? Did he really care about her so much that he wanted her to leave this hell on earth? I'll never know the answer.
The grip on my hand tightens and I look at Skullette. She's become whiter than normal, and fear swims within her eyes. I look ahead and see we're headed straight for the gallows. I dig my heels into the black-soot dirt.
"Wait, where are we going?" I ask.
"Keep moving." The guard orders.
"Where are we going." I repeat coldly. Determined not to move until we get the answer.
The guards about to start something when Alvin's voice rings out across the air. "Ah, Hiccup! So nice of you to join us!" he says.
I look up and see him standing on the stage of the gallows. Then it hits me. The gallows are located at the town's square. If I'm to surrender, Alvin wants it to be as public as possible. I release Skullette's hand even though I know she needs me now.
As we walk closer to the stage, Alvin walks down with a smirk that says, "See what happens when you follow my orders?" The sight makes me want to spit and slash his jugular.
He walks up and wraps his thick arm around my shoulder. If it weren't for my cloak, the heat from his body would scorch my skin. I can feel dad readying his sword at the sight of Alvin laying a hand on me. I turn back and motion him to calm down.
"So nice you could make it, Hiccup. And I want to know that you're doing the right thing." His voice lowers into a voice only I can hear. "Believe me."
His breath reeks of old yak meat mixed with the smell of the singed hair on his beard. My nose wrinkles in disgust, but he doesn't take notice. As he leads me to take my spot on the stage, guards escort dad and the others to the front of the crowd.
Armed guards enter the square and fan out, stationing themselves at three-yard intervals along the edges. Behind them, twelve other guards march through the Square, two by two. The lead pair reaches the stage, halts, and pivots to face each other.
My mouth goes dry, my pulse pounds against my skin, and my vision narrows until all I see is Skullette. I keep my eyes locked to her as I take my place on the stage. My cloak still coving most of my uniform. Alvin meets my spot on the stage, and when I gaze at him from my hood, he turns and meets my gaze and smiles at me as if only the two of us exist.
My skin crawls, and something hot and sharp seeps out of my grief and begs for his blood.
Alvin walks ahead of me to greet his soldiers and as he talks through, what I suspect to be a beginning speech, I scan my line of soldiers. When I get the sense he's done, I notice the soldiers break formation and circles the stage. They expect trouble. They expect Dad to draw his sword against Alvin and give them a reason to act.
I'm grateful they're all prepared to play their parts.
I look back at Alvin, at the sly, feral smile. I wish for this to be over quickly. As I walk toward the front of the stage, toward Alvin, my legs feel like saplings in a storm, the poisonous anger spreads within me.
"And so, I present . . ." he moves his head behind my head and yanks my hood back, exposing my face to every soldier in the Square.
"Hiccup, the Dragon Conqueror, heir to the throne of Berk!" Alvin's voice booms across the Square.
This is the man who shattered my life.
The man covered me in crimson.
"Now, Hiccup, are you willing to claim surrender to Alvin and the Outcasts?" his tone mocks me, and I struggle to breathe.
This is the man who took my friend. Hunter. And wants to take Skullette too.
"I am." I say.
Alvin laughs, a hideous parody of mirth, and drops his head back. He probably thinks someone will see this as an opening, but everyone stays quiet.
"I will proclaim you as an honorary Outcast, and with that your family will be freed to return to Berk." Alvin says.
Alvin looks to me, and the cold daggers of his eyes chill me. I press my arm against my side, feeling the weight of my knife bite into my hip. He smiles and wraps his hand over my arm and squeezes. In front of me, I see Skullette change her stance, rolling to the balls of her feet.
Heat sears a path through my brain, and I shake off his hand before I think better of it. He looks to me, then to Dad and the others, and my stomach sinks. If it's not the idea of handing me over to Alvin that'll drive Dad insane, it's the fact that he's so close to me. It's possible that's what he wants. To provoke dad into attacking by being too close for comfort.
"Of course, there's the matter of an initiation into becoming an Outcast." He says, and my eyes widen and my heart speeds up until I'm certain it'll pop out of my chest.
"What initiation?" I ask.
"Well, it depends on the person, but we always have a new soldier do some form of initiation to prove himself to be an Outcast." He tells me.
I'm floored. He never said anything like this, and I have no idea what to expect. Fear clouds my thoughts and I really hope that Dad or Gobber thought of something to get me out of this. But judging from the looks on their faces, they won't be able to think of a plan in time.
There's the sound of a scuffle, and I turn to my right and see two guards haul Skullette onto the stage. My heart pounds my ears and I rush to her and help her up; but the minute she's on her feet, Alvin yanks me back and draws his sword. He drops it to my feet for me to use.
"Kill her." He says.
I look to the sword, to Alvin and to Skullette in obvious shock. I stare at the sword. I try to think of a plan, which involves tricking Alvin into thinking I've killed Skullette, but besides the fact that it'll involve them dumping her body somewhere we won't easily be able to locate it, he's too smart for that. And everyone, including him knows that.
"You do want to become an Outcast, don't you, Hiccup?" he speaks with quiet menace and lays his hand on me again, digging his fingernails into the soft tissue of my forearm.
I pick up the sword, weighing my options, but all of them deny even trying to fake kill Skullette.
I can't do it.
"No." I say, and fury explodes on his face.
I'm sorry Dad.
He twists my arm and yanks me forward, breaking my hold on the sword. "You realize what this means don't you?" he asks in a voice only I can hear. "I will kill everyone for your betrayal, Hiccup. Renounce this surrender and leave as planned, or I will leave you will nothing."
"Let go of him, Alvin." Dad's voice, laced with terrible purpose, rings out across the Square.
The crowd erupts to a frenzy of hushed conversations, and Alvin twists my arm until I'm sure he means to wrench it from its socket. Pain is a living thing clawing at me, and I turn my face to looks at my Dad.
I need to know the plan. How to keep everyone alive and avoid being separated from them. I expect to see steady calculations in Dad's eyes. Instead I see blind fury. His hand is already reaching for his sword as Alvin drives me to my knees.
He's going to attack Alvin. Try to kill him. And Alvin will stab a sword through him the way he stabbed a sword through Mulch and then laugh while I sit in silence, soaking up every drop of blood until my skin is flushed crimson with the shame of my impotence.
Without warning, Alvin's meat hand releases my arm, but then grabs something even worse, and that causes more pain.
My hair.
He gathers my entire front gathering of hair, and some from the crown of my head. He manages to snag a few neck hairs, which hurt the most. The pain is so severe, it swipes away any form of clear thinking inside of my mind. All that matters is the pounding I feel as Alvin's grip plans to pull every strand from my follicles.
He drives his hand downward until I'm on my hands and knees, resembling a bowing position, keeping my head low. Tears sting my eyes, and while I hear Skullette scream my name she's held back by the same guards who brought her to the stage.
The only way for her to suffer. Watching me get harmed, and nothing she can do will help me.
The brilliant rage surging within me coalesces into one fierce purpose.
Save everyone I love.
The pain of my hair rips through my brain until I feel lightheaded. Tears sting my eyes, and I clench my jaw so hard my teeth grind together. A new sound comes from me. A mixture of a sound from the back of my throat, mixed with the muted wailing from the pain through gritted teeth.
"I want to be an Outcast!" I blurt, my voice catching at the end so it skips an octave. The pain of my head prevents me from blushing in embarrassment. Each word drops to the ground like a stone. I pray dad will understand.
"What?" Alvin asks, forcing me to repeat. Even though we both know everyone heard it. And I can feel his voice, seeped with a vicious triumph.
"I want to be an Outcast."
"And you will deny your father's current authority over you?" he asks.
"I do."
Gobber isn't looking at me. Dad's locked on Alvin, who still has my hairs locked in his grip. Pinning me so that my back is curved in and I'm digging my nails into the moldy wooden boards to ease the pain to no avail.
Dad's hand grips the hilt of his sword, his knuckles turning white.
If he loses control, Alvin wins.
And with his guards cutting off all escape routes, we don't stand a chance.
"What do you say, Stoick?" Alvin mocks my father as his hand carelessly swings forward, tossing my like a ragdoll, until I'm practically gripping onto the edge of the stage for dear life.
Some of my tears from the pain stream down my cheeks and I narrow my eyebrows to look angrier than in pain.
I don't give Dad a chance to answer. With our plan in shambles, and my back against a wall, I say the only thing that could possibly keep them safe. "It doesn't matter what he says. I'm the Dragon Conqueror, and I'm in charge of this surrender."
Alvin doesn't spare me a glance so I raise my voice. "Do you accept my as an Outcast?"
Some of my fury leaks into my tone, and I raise my chin. I don't care. Let him know I'm angry. Let him see the bloodlust on my face. Let him look me in the eyes and discover the boy he thought he understood is gone and in his place stands a weapon of his own creation.
He turns his head slowly to stare at me, his lips pulling into a snarl, and lets go of my hair to backhand me across the face.
I tumble to the floor and see Dad, sword raised, face ablaze, charge for Alvin.