A/N: Surprise, surprise! I... don't own Code Geass. But it was such a nice dream :(

'v'

'v'

Near Tokyo settlement. Shinjuku redevelopment zone, section five. The same night.

The night had brought three surprises to Kallen Kouzuki, and the strawberry-haired knightmare ace would rather have done without them.

Her first surprise had come after nearly eight hours of the celebrations that had followed the assassination of the man everybody was now calling the Demon Emperor. Just like Kallen knew they would when she'd realized what Lelouch had done, the overpowering armed force which had been terrifying the entire world for two months had melted like snow in the desert. In less than an hour all of the Emperor's men in Tokyo had surrendered to, escaped or been killed by the crowds led by Princess Cornelia, of all people, and a spontaneous celebration of colossal proportions had begun in the city. Kallen had tried to go and comfort poor Nunnally but had not reached her. Kallen had no regrets there: Lelouch's sister had completely broken over her brother's body, and it was lucky Cornelia's men had whisked her away before she could witness the defilement of the dead Emperor's body. Kallen herself couldn't have protected Nunnally from the grisly spectacle.

But Kallen hadn't been free to get anywhere near Nunnally after she'd been taken away, for reasons which had nothing to do with Cornelia. Kallen was famous for being the Order of Black Knight's top ace pilot, and throngs of the freed Japanese and Britannians had surrounded her and dragged her into their revelries. The young woman had done her very best to keep her temper, and it surprised her she'd managed to stay calm enough that she could spot and seize the first clear opportunity to escape the festivities that presented itself. As she'd sneaked through the streets left almost devoid of people by the massive party, Kallen actually regretted Lelouch had gone to such lengths to make himself hated: she'd have loved nothing more than to beat the truth into the most offensive revelers' heads, and she would have done it had she not been so afraid to give some people reasons to think twice about Lelouch's death.

The second surprise of the evening was somewhat more pleasant. After she'd left the celebrations, she'd decided to walk to Shinjuku. The former ghetto had been razed and was being completely rebuilt, so it meant one of the places tied to her memories of Lelouch was certain to be uninhabited. There was a snowball's chance in hell that any workers would have stayed at the massive building site, so she was pretty sure it was the one place where she could be alone with her memories. What she hadn't counted on was seeing just how far the reconstruction had progressed. Nunnally had started that project only some months ago, and it was evident Lelouch had done everything in his power to keep the construction of the new Shinjuku moving forward. Of course – and she actually laughed when she saw the signs on the fences of one nearly-completed residential complex – every single feature had received a name that evoked the Demon Emperor: 'The Emperor's Corner', 'Lelouch Park', and other names of the kind. The whole project was supposedly a grand "imperial residential quarter for diplomatic guests". All those names seemed to have been designed to club Lelouch's subjects in the face, yet it was one of the cleverest deceptions Kallen had ever seen: the signs and names would vanish just as quickly as the other traces of the reviled Emperor's reign, but the homes, the parks and the fountains would stay, and the people who'd enjoy living in this new Shinjuku would never suspect Lelouch had actually built it all for them.

And then she'd remembered nobody would ever be thanking Lelouch for anything he'd done for them, her smile had evaporated, and she'd done what she could to dull the edge of that new grief, because she hadn't yet reached the particular building site she wanted to visit.

The third surprise was definitely one she disliked. She'd gone back to Shinjuku because she'd wanted to be alone, and when she spotted Tōdō leaning on the inside wall of a residential complex she'd been walking to, she knew she couldn't have randomly stumbled on him. The samurai was there because Kallen was there.

'Tōdō-san, please leave me alone' she said, trying to hide her grief and to sound polite – and not quite succeeding at either.

Tōdō didn't reply. He simply shook his head.

Kallen insisted. 'Please just go away. I don't want to talk to anybody.'

'And I want to talk to you' the samurai replied calmly.

'Well it'll have to wait' Kallen said, starting to lose what little grip she still had on her temper.

'Just because I talk doesn't mean you have to reply' Tōdō stated simply.

Kallen looked him in the face. The samurai was impassive as always, and it infuriated the strawberry-head. She couldn't share her grief. How was she supposed to make Tōdō understand she needed to be alone? Punch him in the face? 'Just leave' she hissed, on the verge of tears. 'I don't want to argue with you.'

'We don't need to argue' Tōdō said. 'I think we both agree.'

Kallen snapped. 'On what?' she shouted. 'On my stupidity for sulking when everybody's dancing in the streets? You think I should go back and behave and smile and pretend to be happy? 'cause I'm not, and I don't want the company of people who are happy!' She stepped in front of Tōdō, her hands balled into fists, ready to pounce if he didn't move.

Tōdō wasn't impressed. 'There should be six people besides yourself who realized Lelouch sacrificed his life for the good of this world' he said. Kallen had moved to punch him and froze in mid-swing: she had expected anything but this. Tōdō didn't blink. 'You couldn't stand the company of others any longer because you couldn't keep pretending to be happy when they kept hurting you with all they said about Lelouch and Zero. You felt the need to be alone with your grief, and what better place for that than the place you encountered Zero for the first time?'

Kallen withdrew, and she turned her back to Tōdō. He saw her hugging herself. 'Why are you here?' she asked after a few seconds, her voice shaking.

Tōdō began to enumerate a list of people: 'Zero obviously knows what happened, but he couldn't come here without people following him. That C.C. woman ('That harlot!' Kallen interjected) was still with him and she shared most of his secrets, but she was seen by Lelouch's side and she'll be hunted – and I don't think you'd like to see her.'

'Oh, I don't know that' Kallen said sarcastically.

Tōdō ignored the barb Kallen at aimed at the green-haired girl, and he went on with his enumeration: 'Xingke hardly knows you, so he wouldn't be any help. Princess Nunnally couldn't have come here on her own, and even if she could she must be too devastated to have thought about you. Lelouch is dead; only his memories are here, and going back to the past isn't going to comfort you.'

The strawberry-head was about to protest, but a vision flashed in her mind and she stopped. The last time she'd come here, she had been the one who'd followed a friend to try and help him through his grief. And she remembered the terrible instant she saw Lelouch about to inject Refrain into his veins, so desperate he was to return to his past. Just like her mother had been.

Kallen swallowed. Tōdō was right. Memories allowed you to forget your pain for a while, but the pain was still in the present, waiting for you. Now she understood why Tōdō had come to her: 'Memories alone won't help you, but sharing them with someone who cares will.' She'd turned to face the samurai as she spoke these words, her voice heavy with the tears she was holding back. 'Thanks for coming, Tōdō-san.'

He shrugged. 'I was the only one who could. Care to sit down?' He'd gestured at one of the low white stone-benches that already lined the future patches of lawn.

They lowered themselves onto the bench.

Come to think of it, Kallen was glad she was with Tōdō. He was probably old enough to be her father, so he couldn't have come with an oddly romantic idea in mind the way a man like Gino would. He wasn't her friend, but they didn't need to be friends: they'd known each other for a while now, and they respected each other as warriors. They were people of their word. They'd fought for the same causes, and they shared similar ideals. Kallen had sought to emulate the samurai. Tōdō was one. She could talk to him.

'I… was piloting a Glasgow' she said, her voice trailing, her dark blue eyes vague. 'We'd stolen a capsule of poison gas from Britannia, and I'd jumped into our knightmare to protect our driver, Nagata, while he attempted to escape. I ran into a Sutherland. Its pilot was good. We were evenly matched. Our knightmares weren't, so I had to run away. I didn't think I could get rid of him, and he had a partner. Then Lelouch told me to get on the rail-line and jump on the incoming train if I wanted to win.' She motioned in the direction of the line. It was one of the few features of the old Shinjuku still in existence.

'I don't know how he contacted me' Kallen admitted. To this day she didn't know all Lelouch had done was picking up a transponder she'd left behind. 'We were using an encrypted channel and he'd found out about it. I did as I was told, and Lelouch helped me destroy both Sutherlands. He'd stolen another of Britannia's knightmares.

'There were spare Sutherlands in the train. Lelouch called Ōgi and the rest of our group, and he said he was giving the Sutherlands if we were ready to enter his service.'

'And you did just that, even if you didn't know who he was' Tōdō said quietly.

'It almost worked' Kallen reminisced. 'We destroyed most of Clovis' forces. Then Lancelot showed up and it all went wrong.'

'Suzaku' Tōdō mused.

'Yes. We didn't know who he was, obviously. We just thought everything was ending in a complete fiasco. I helped Lelouch escape – I still didn't know it was him, he hadn't even said he was Zero.'

'Probably because he hadn't made up that name yet' Tōdō offered.

'He couldn't have. In fact when he contacted me later Ōgi and I thought he was Suzaku. I didn't expect to meet Zero.'

'But when he showed up you followed him' Tōdō said.

Kallen sighed. 'We weren't enthusiastic. Shinjuku had almost ended in disaster. We didn't know he'd made Clovis order the ceasefire that saved our lives, we only knew that he'd disappeared somewhere. Then we met Zero, and he wouldn't show up his face. None of us wanted to believe war with Britannia was possible, and he wanted us to do just that.'

'I didn't think it was possible either' Tōdō admitted. 'I thought Zero was one of the better fighters in the resistance, but that he wasn't all that different from the rest of us, just better than most. He was stylish, and he was brilliant, and his claim of having killed Prince Clovis rang true. Then he announced the existence of the Order of Black Knights and I started to think his goal was to defeat Britannia, but I didn't believe he could do it. Apparently you believed him.'

'We didn't at first' Kallen confessed, blushing. 'It was… a tense encounter. We thought he was a little ridiculous, standing there with the mask and the fancy clothes and lecturing us about morals and high principles. In the end the only ones who gave him a chance to prove he wasn't all talk were Ōgi and me. It was only the three of us who rescued Suzaku; none of the others would risk their lives participating. And I don't know about Ōgi, but when Zero started taunting Jeremiah I thought we were doomed.'

'And then you witnessed a miracle' Tōdō said thoughtfully.

'Yes.'

Kallen realized it was good to just sit there and talk about the past. Even though not all of her memories of Lelouch were good ones.

And one of those memories was connected with Shinjuku.

'I…' Kallen blushed. 'I met Lelouch here again. One year later.'

'He was planning to make another grandstand at Shinjuku?' Tōdō asked.

'Not at all… In fact it happened when nobody could reach Zero, after we'd failed to capture Nunnally on her way to Tokyo.'

'You're on first-term names with the young Princess?' Tōdō noted, surprised.

'I've met her at Ashford Academy' Kallen explained. 'She's Lelouch's sister.'

'Not just a half-sister?'

'No, they also had the same mother' Kallen said. 'Nunnally used to live at the Academy with her brother, and he really loved her. She disappeared right after the Black Rebellion.'

'So that's why he made our headquarters at that school during the Black Rebellion' Tōdō said thoughtfully 'He wanted to make sure his sister was out of harm's way.'

Kallen nodded. 'Yes, and he tried to protect our other student friends too.'

'Minami told me you'd gone after Zero when he left the battle' Tōdō said. 'Did you ever find out why he'd left us behind?'

Kallen swallowed. She had done her best to forget the terrible instant when Suzaku had revealed it was actually Zero who had given the order to murder thousands of innocents at the Special Administrative Zone of Japan, and that he had used a power named Geass to force Princess Euphemia to start the massacre. It was the instant when she'd discovered Zero was Lelouch, and he'd been hiding the fact from her all that time. And it was the first time she turned her back on him.

Kallen suddenly regretted being with Tōdō. Damn it! she thought, why does he have to be so perceptive?

That he was. 'You found him, and you found out about Geass.' Kallen stared at Tōdō, astonished. 'You found out he'd given the order for the massacre at the SAZ. So you left him behind, and he was captured. And then something happened, not long afterwards, and you had regrets.'

On second thought, Kallen definitely didn't regret she was with Tōdō. 'C.C. happened' she managed, her voice shaking.

'C.C.?'

'I found her on the shore of the island where Lelouch had gone' Kallen said. 'It was Kaminejima.'

'What was he looking for at Kaminejima?' Tōdō asked.

'His sister. That's where Nunnally was first taken before they brought her back to Britannia.'

Tōdō was astonished. 'He abandoned the Black Rebellion to search for his sister?'

'I heard Lelouch say it, and C.C. confirmed it.'

'I would never have guessed he could love someone so much' Tōdō said, his voice filled with wonder.

'It's hard to believe, isn't it?' Kallen replied with a faint smile.

'When you look at what he did to her later, it certainly is' Tōdō said. 'Now I understand why it was so important to him that we capture her on her way to Japan and during the second battle for Tokyo.'

'That was why he wouldn't come to that conference with Schneizel on the Ikaruga. We all thought Nunnally was dead, and he was broken. I saw him. And then… you called him out. I was…' Kallen hesitated. 'I knew you weren't going to give him a chance, but I believed in him, and I was… I was ready to die with him.'

Tōdō didn't reply. He just nodded.

The strawberry-head felt grateful for his silence – and for the help Tōdō gave her. Rather than let her chew on her memories or offer her his pity, he'd had the tact to start a conversation about Lelouch which was actually a mutually beneficial one. Tōdō clearly wanted to learn more about Lelouch – Maybe he want to understand why he didn't anticipate Lelouch's actions before it was too late Kallen mused – but the samurai didn't push her – on the contrary he supported her when she was faltering – and he respected her intimacy.

She decided that she could tell Tōdō what really bothered her.

'He rejected me' Kallen said in a small voice. Tōdō let her go on at her own pace. 'That which I asked him on the Ikaruga' she said, and Tōdō knew she'd asked what Lelouch thought of her. 'I asked him again after he became Emperor. We were on our own, and I thought he'd say something. But-' she heaved – 'he didn't say or do a thing. He just… stood there.'

Kallen turned her head to lock her gaze with Tōdō's. She felt more vulnerable than she ever remembered feeling, and it took all her courage to try and ask the question that mattered to her: 'Do you think… he meant…'

She faltered.

Tōdō prompted her with a simple question: 'If he'd given you that mask, would you have killed him?'

Kallen looked down. When her answer came, it was barely a whisper.

'No.'

'v'

Tōdō had been long since gone when Kallen finally left Shinjuku. That he'd left her alone when she finally broke into tears didn't bother the strawberry-head: she knew the samurai had left because she didn't want anyone to see her grieving.

And she was grateful for what he'd done. She still had no idea whether Lelouch had ever loved her and she probably never would, but at least she understood why Lelouch had frozen on that day she'd kissed him in those stairs: he had decided to die, and he must have known that if he didn't reject her, he would only make her suffer even more as she watched him die, powerless to stop him, and then because she'd have lost even more than she had when he was killed. Lelouch had shielded her from all that pain, and that meant she had not just been one of his pawns, but that he'd really cared for her. She wouldn't have settled for that had he lived, but he was dead. And strange though it felt, his rejection of her now comforted her: just like the signs on the walls of Shinjuku, it had been another deception to hide the best Lelouch could offer.

'v'

'v'

A/N: We finally meet Kallen.

I realized this story has a good chance to reach the 20k words mark before we read the first word spoken by its main character. I think Lelouch is somehow contagious, he's making me just as twisted as he is!