Author's Note: Well, I know Peeta/Cato shippers will be pretty disappointed, but I can't tell you how hard it has been to keep these two characters apart. It was so hard I couldn't even do it this whole time, I guess we just kept backsliding. I hope you're all happy with the direction of this story. This chapter will move the story along, but I also decided to throw a little overdue fluff and smut in for good measure. See you soon!
Finnick surveyed his bedroom as he emerged from the bathroom and made his way over to the dresser. Wrapped only in a towel, he almost stumbled as he slipped on a pair of silk boxers that had been carelessly dropped in the middle of the floor, a pair that did not belong to him. He shook his head and smiled in spite of himself. He dropped his towel and removed a pair of underwear and slipped them on, not wanting to make too much sound and wake the peaceful man sleeping in his bed.
The one pristine bedroom was now untidy. Various articles of Peeta's clothing along with random possessions were everywhere. If it were anyone else, Finnick would be annoyed, but the truth was that the mess made his once cold apartment feel more like a home.
He opened the wardrobe and retrieved a sharp, deep blue shirt off a hanger. Stuffing his arms through, he pulled the shirt closed and began on the buttons, noting the hint of cologne on his skin.
"Where are you going?" Peeta asked.
Finnick turned and found Peeta awake, sitting up in his bed with a puzzled look on his face. His foot was now secured in a shorter cast that extended from his lower calf to the end of his foot after having the bulk of it removed when his doctor was confidant the extent of the damage in his leg and knee had healed. His arm was now free of it's binding sling. Watching him mend made Finnick feel the upmost pride and happiness as his broken bones began to heal.
"It's Monday," Finnick replied with a chipper smile, "Back to work."
Peeta rolled his eyes and scrambled out of bed, covered in quilts and sheets. "I completely forgot," he sighed as he slipped into the pair of his dislodged pajama pants and made his way over to the mirror Finnick was standing in front of. He reached into the dresser drawer and removed a black tie, holding it up to the dark blue shirt and mentally deciding how it would look on the man. "You can't take one more day off?"
"No," he replied sarcastically, "One day with you turns into a week, which turns into three, which turns into my entire Christmas vacation." He leaned forward and kissed Peeta chastely on the lips. "You know if I had my way I'd stay here with you right?" he mumbled into Peeta's lips before pressing another kiss there.
Peeta blushed, dropping his head to the ground shyly. He lifted Finnick's collar and began fastening the tie around his neck, "This is nice," he sighed, "Me getting you ready like this."
He chuckled, "You could always move in y'know. After everything that happened I kind of like the idea of you being here when I get back, not sneaking off in the middle of the day."
"I'm not sneaking," Peeta replied, holding his hands up defensively, "I just don't want to outstay my welcome. Besides, I've got a whole half a house to myself." He finished pulling the fat end of the tie through the loop and fastened it straight. A perfect Windsor knot. He ran his hands over Finnick's shoulders, admiring his handy work.
"Yeah, but you don't have me there all the time," Finnick replied with a mischievous grin on his face as he reached out and grabbed Peeta by the elastic waistband of his pajama pants. "Hey," he said, thumping Peeta's chin up to meet his eyeline, "I'm serious. Move in with me. Don't you want to wake up with me every morning?" he asked, kissing Peeta's ear gently.
Peeta rolled his eyes and grasped Finnick's hip, "That's what I do half the week and every weekend anyway."
Finnick smiled, "But what if I want you all to myself?"
"I am yours," Peeta said with a smile as he turned away to blush again, "But it's too soon. What happened to taking it slowly?"
"Fuck taking it slowly," he sighed, "I just want you with me."
Peeta limped back over to the bed, taking a seat on the end and staring up at Finnick, weighing his offer in his head. "You're missing your pants," he pointed out with a nod at Finnick in his underwear.
"I can see that," he replied, opening up the wardrobe and fishing out a pair of charcoal slacks.
"I want to move in," Peeta said with a smile, "I really do, but we can't rush into this. I'm not really ready to move out of my house or away from Noah, especially since he gave up his place to move home and take care of me."
He resigned with a nod as he tugged the pants up to his waist and retrieved a black leather belt from the wardrobe. "How long will I have to wait for you?"
"A while," Peeta replied with a smile, "But not forever."
"Okay," he said with a grin as he fastened his pants and took a couple of steps closer, "You know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you right?"
Peeta nodded, "I know."
Finnick turned and checked his appearance in the mirror, straightening out his hair and cuffs. Peeta observed Finnick from the bed, noting the way his morning regime was almost effortless in making him look well presented, sharp and beautiful. He smiled as Finnick closed the gap between them in a few steps and leaned in to kiss him deeply on the lips.
"Will I see you tonight?" Finnick asked with a raised eyebrow, "I need to know wether or not to pick up dinner."
The younger man chuckled and nodded, "Someone's gotta clean up this crap," he said sarcastically, indicating to the untidy bedroom with his good hand.
"Tell the maid her tip is on the counter," Finnick joked as he turned and headed for the door. "What do you feel like tonight? Pizza?"
Peeta shrugged, "It's okay, I can make us something."
"Sounds good," he said with a grin, "I'll see you tonight."
The younger man kept the smile on his face as he listened to Finnick's footsteps retreat down the hallway before being silenced by the sound of the front door closing. He peered around the room, noting the mess he'd left and chuckling to himself at the realization that he had been treating Finnick's home like a hotel. He rose from the bed and began straightening stray items and picking up various articles of clothing. It wasn't until he retrieved one of Finnick's pressed ties from the floor that something caught his eye.
Peeta peered into the open dresser drawer. His hand wrapped around the metal handle of the pistol, he retrieved it from inside. His eyes widened in awe of the feel of it. He never expected it to feel so heavy. A surprising feeling took over.
Power.
He didn't know how to check if the safety was on and assuming was never a safe bet. He didn't even know if the gun was loaded. He was tempted to wrap a finger around the trigger just to feel it, but fear got the better of him. It turned him on to think of Finnick using it, defending him with it, harming someone who wished harm upon them.
It was hardly a surprise that Finnick was in possession of a firearm given his previous profession, but Peeta hadn't expected that. There were many additional components that came with choosing a former soldier as a mate. Slight trauma, god complex's and complete and utter arrogance, Peeta couldn't figure out what about the whole situation it was that concerned him, only that something was.
He placed the gun back inside the drawer and pushed it to the back where he found it. He closed the drawer immediately. A bad feeling in the pit of his stomach began stirring.
Peeta was pulled from his sleep by Finnick's murmurs and movement in bed that night, the second time that week. The episodes were becoming more frequent in the past few weeks. Peeta awoke and quickly rolled over, jerking his shoulder as he did which prompted him to wince in pain. Sweat had already broken out on Finnick's forehead, the man tossed heavily enough to shake the bed, hard enough to almost be considered a thrash.
"Finnick," Peeta urged with desperation in his voice, "Wake up." He took hold of the man's bare shoulders and attempted to shake him, only to be overpowered and pushed away.
"Finnick!" Peeta yelled, shoving him roughly and hard enough to make the larger man's back hit the table by the bed. As the lamp on the table fell from the surface and broke on the floor with a loud crash, Finnick opened his eyes.
They both sat in silence as the moment passed and they mentally collected their thoughts, keeping the bad ones to themselves and making sure they wouldn't escape through their mouths. Finnick didn't want to face up to his own burning shame while Peeta didn't want to feel the weight of his building concern for the man he loved and worried about more and more with each episode of what could only be a building stress disorder.
"I'm sorry," Finnick mumbled as he rubbed his shoulder, "I'm sorry this keeps happening."
Peeta reached over and turned the lamp on, filling the darkened room with a soft dim light from the one remaining lamp. He brought his knees to his chin as he turned his neck and stared at Finnick, "It's getting worse," he said softly.
They stared at each other for a moment. Peeta felt the panic inside worsen as he observed the look of dissociation in Finnick's weary traumatised eyes. Finnick was looking at him with the thousand yard stare, Peeta knew that he hadn't been dreaming but remembering the people that wanted to hurt him, the people that did.
"Is it me?" Peeta asked with a hitch in his breath.
"No," Finnick responded immediately, "No, no, no." Without another word he inched closer to the smaller man, wrapping one arm around his stomach and pulling his back into his chest. Finnick rested his chin on Peeta's shoulder like they fit together perfectly that way. "Don't ever think that this has anything to do with you. It's all me. It's all the shit in my head."
Peeta nodded, rubbing the man's hand reassuringly with his own. "Why has it started now? Of all times?"
"It hasn't," he sighed heavily, "It's been happening for a while now. Admittedly it hasn't been this bad since I was in the hospital right after it happened." He held Peeta's bare body tightly against his own as he nuzzled his chin into the nape of his neck, finding the warmth that radiated from his skin amazing.
"What's it like?" Peeta asked as he drew in a sharp breath when a hand travelled down his lower back and rested on his bare thigh.
Finnick rubbed softly, too afraid to let Peeta out of his grasp. "It's like sometimes when I go to sleep, I'm pulled back into the whole thing. I can't wake up because it's not a dream and I'm not aware that it already happened. It happens all over again and all I can do is panic." His scratchy voice was exhausted and shaky, he clutched Peeta tighter.
"So what do we do?" Peeta asked, suppressing the urge to yawn.
He shrugged and pressed his lips to the shell of the blonde man's ear, "I don't know. The thought of going back to therapy is worse than the dreams themselves."
Finnick's instant dismissal of the idea annoyed Peeta but he didn't say anything. As much as he wanted to take on the man's problems and help him, he knew this was something Finnick had to get past himself. His presence was clearly doing little to prevent the constant bouts of stress that were manifesting in his dreams, all he could do was hold onto Finnick tighter and refuse to let go. He smiled as he felt Finnick's lips move from his ear to the scars on his shoulder and begin kissing gently.
"My shoulder still looks off," Peeta grumbled, rubbing the cast his foot was still in.
"No it doesn't," Finnick chuckled, "You're paranoid. It looks fine."
"It's fucked," he muttered, "My foot still cramps up, I've got those hideous surgery scars up and down my shoulder blade."
Finnick smiled, "They're healing nicely, Peeta." He laid back down on the mattress with his arms still wrapped around the smaller frame, pulling him down with him. "Soon, hopefully everything that happened at Christmas will feel like a bad dream."
"Hopefully not the kind you have," Peeta said sarcastically, craning his neck to look at Finnick, "Sorry, I shouldn't be complaining about it. It's done, can't be undone."
"It's okay," Finnick sighed, "You have the right to be upset."
"I'm not upset." He rolled over so they were face to face. "I'm furious. Whenever I get a chance to stop and really think about it, I start seething. I can feel my blood boil. I think about someone who didn't even know me, leaving me to die in the snow. I think about how Noah would have felt with no family left and it makes me sick." His words were making him tremble in anger, he could feel his fists clenching.
Finnick's hand reached up for the blonde locks and began stroking them delicately as Peeta's heart started to stop racing and his anger had begun to wane. Finnick always knew what to do and what to say to make him calm down, he felt the magic in his own touch and the effect it had on the man he loved.
"When you were laying in the street that night you were so cold and lifeless. There were a few moments when I thought I'd lost you, I saw a glimpse into a world without you and I hated it." He casually ran his thumb across Peeta's lower lip. "I promised myself, and you that if you woke up I'd always keep you safe and never let anything bad happen to you."
He moved his lips from the man's ear to his lips. He captured Peeta's mouth so delicately and rewarded him with a kiss. As their lips touched he felt Peeta's hand cup his cheek before the younger man let out a soft groan as their mouths opened and he allowed Finnick's tongue inside. Peeta could feel the heat rising in his face, enjoying the feel of the man's lips on his immensely. As their lips parted Finnick's hand moved down to rest on Peeta's bare chest allowing him to feel his heart beat.
"I intend to keep my word," he said softly, "I'll never let anything bad happen to you again."
Peeta smiled up at Finnick, "I'm not completely helpless."
The older man let out a small laugh and leaned down to kiss him once more, "I know you're not, but I protect what I care about."
Peeta lifted his head and kissed Finnick on the cheek before letting it fall back against the pillow. With one arm supporting him, Finnick held his frame hovering about the younger man as he watched him fall back asleep.
"I love you, Finnick."
"I love you too."
"You promised me you'd take it easy," Finnick chuckled as he kept one arm wrapped tightly around Peeta, supporting the weight on his bad side.
It would ordinarily take a little longer than usual to move around with Peeta's foot being in the state it was, his drunken stupor only made it that much more difficult. He sat his drunken companion down on a bus bench as he inspected his watch and cursed himself for agreeing to such a poorly thought out plan, but Peeta had been itching to get out for over a week. With all the progress he had been making Finnick knew if the younger man needed anything in the world, it was to do whatever he wanted for one night. It was now how he found himself with Peeta on a sidewalk in the dead of night in January.
"You promised me a night out," Peeta chuckled, looking up at the older man who watched the empty street for sign of the cab he called minutes earlier.
Finnick shook his head and knelt down by the younger man, "I was thinking dinner and a movie, not shots at a bar."
"It's my way of making up for New Years," Peeta laughed and held his arm out for Finnick, "Can you help me up? I want to show you something."
"You're drunk," Finnick chuckled as he rose to his feet and helped Peeta to his. "I thought you had fun on New Years Eve. You told me you loved it."
The younger man smiled, "I did," he said, taking Finnick's hand into his own and leading him down an alley between the bookstore and the bank, "It was perfect. Now shut up, I want to show you something."
The ground had been lightly peppered with snowfall while whipping winds blew and made Peeta's nose red. He didn't care. The night out had done him good and now he felt giddy and revitalized. Being refused permission to go back to work had left him bored and restless. His only highlight, the only time of the day he could look forward to was when Finnick would walk through the door at 5pm. He was determined to get better, starting that night.
He squeezed Finnick's hand tighter as he led him to a secluded spot hidden in the shadows on that cold night, smiling at the realization that this was the first time they had been out together as a couple.
"What are you doing?" Finnick asked softly with genuine confusion in his voice. "Let's get you to bed."
Peeta shook his head and pushed Finnick into the brick wall, kissing him roughly. His good hand rested on the man's throat as Finnick's hands fisted in Peeta's jacket. The kiss was long and deliberate. Peeta had missed the taste of scotch on Finnick's mouth, the way they would kiss after sharing a drink, simply being out with him. He whimpered as Finnick's hands travelled down to his belt while his tongue entered his eager mouth, sparring with his own. Their kiss broke as Finnick's hand delved into the front of Peeta's pants and the younger man let out a gasp.
"Wait," he gasped, pulled Finnick's hand out of his pants and placing a soft kiss on his lips, "I want you so badly," he panted as his expert hands found the taller man's belt.
He stared into the green eyes as he pulled the leather through the buckle and pulled down the zipper. His cold hands warmed up as they wrapped around the hardened flesh and removed him from the confines of his underwear. He wrapped his hand around and squeezed Finnick tightly, amused by the lust in his eyes. Peeta fell to his knees and wrapped his lips around the engorged flesh.
The older man gaped as he felt Peeta's mouth go to work on him. He let his head fall back against the brick wall and began breathing heavily as the younger man graciously licked up and down his shaft with one hand remaining at the base of his erect penis stroking in earnest.
He quickly looked around, they were completely out of sight of any prying eyes or pedestrians who happened by, it was just the two of them, perfect together. Finnick forced himself to watch Peeta's bobbing blonde head in the moonlight, shivering occasionally when he saw the beautiful blue eyes look up at him. Peeta's cheeks were hollowed out as he began sucking harder and faster.
Occasionally slight groans would emit from Peeta's mouth adding to the overall thrill of the sensation. Finnick admitted that he could stay like that forever, just the two of them. He had never been more in love with Peeta as he was at that moment, feeling Peeta's mouth on him while his good hand massaged his balls, doing everything he could to touch him as if he couldn't get enough. Finnick knew that once this was over he would return the favour.
Peeta's hand moved up from around the hardened shaft and up to massage the thick patch of dark pubic hair while his other hand continued working on the man's hairy balls like he was ravaged. As Finnick's panting began growing more intense and his groaning became less restrained and more ecstatic, Peeta sped up, taking the man as deep into his mouth as he could, the way he knew he liked.
It wasn't too long before Finnick came, pushed to the edge by a particularly deep suck that had the tip of his dick touch the back of Peeta's throat. He shuddered as he released himself into the younger man's mouth, his mouth gaping as he felt Peeta take him all without hesitation. He watched as Peeta's hand lingered on his messy length for a few moments longer before tucking him back into his underwear and pulling his pants back up.
Peeta rose to his feet and chuckled as he watched Finnick collect himself. "Don't tell me you're getting too old for this," he laughed, fisting a hand in Finnick's shirt to stop himself from stumbling.
Finnick cocked his head, "Is my age suddenly an issue, you little shit?"
"No," Peeta replied with a smile, "I don't care about that, only you," he said as he gently bit his own lip.
The older man grinned and bought his warm hand up to wrap behind Peeta's head, pulling him in closer and planting a small kiss on his puffed lips. "You're making me crazy, Peeta."
They stood together embracing as the snow started to fall. Wrapped in Finnick's strong arms, Peeta never felt safer and more loved. It were simple moments like this he dreamed of, now they had finally come true. He smiled and wrapped his arms around Finnick's neck as he listed to the soft lips pressed against the shell of his ear whisper things that he always wanted to hear and was now being told as if Finnick had read his mind. He too had never been more in love with the man as he was on that night.