Chapter Four.

"She's nice, okay?" I defended against Demi, knowing it'd be a long night once we got to the bus.

Demi crossed her arms, shaking her head at me. "I thought you were supposed to be my best-friend. She's the one person I needed you to stay away from. I hate her, Miley, and I thought you out of anyone would understand that."

I did understand that. That was the hard part. I understood completely, but right now I needed someone who didn't know me. I needed someone that I could start over with, and right now Selena was giving me that chance. I didn't want someone who knew me inside and out all the time. Nick did, and everyone in fucking Hollywood knew that we're a mess waiting to happen.

"I do, Dem. You're still my best-friend, she isn't gonna change that!"

"She tears people apart, Miley! That's just what she does, and I can't lose you, too. I've lost enough people in the past year, not you too."

"What-Where is this even coming from?" I watched tears come to her eyes and shook my head. I knew it was time to step-up and we'd have to be mature for once. "You aren't crying, we don't have time to fix your make-up right now. But after the show we're gonna talk about this, okay?"

She nodded, looking up to the ceiling to stop the tears from coming down. I still didn't understand why she felt so threatened by Selena. Demi was my best friend. Not Selena. Demi. Selena couldn't replace her even if she tried. I couldn't fight with Selena the way I did with Demi, nor could I spill my guts about how I wasn't really in love with my boyfriend and know she wouldn't tell. Demi was my lifeline.

"Let's go by the boys," she grabbed my wrist, pulling me to the small group.

"Miley!"

"Nick!" I laughed, going to hug him. His arms wrapped around my waist. "Sorry for ditching you earlier. I had to clear my head."

"Yeah, I saw that," he rose his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as he motioned to the stage Selena was on. He knew that something was going on with me.

"Demi, c'mon, stage," Papa J ushered her over.

I instantly broke away from Nick, going to stand my Joe. "Why is she so sensitive over the whole Selena thing still? It's like if I talk to Sel the red light flashes and she thinks I'm gonna turn her away."

"You weren't there when they were friends, Mi," Nick told me, and just the way he said that made me look down, disappointed that I would never understand. I was disappointed at the way even I knew I could never make Demi as happy as Selena did at one point.

"What my idiot of a brother means to say is that Demi and Selena were really close, and now that they're fighting, you're the one thing that's just Demi's. Everything is about who has more between them, and Demi doesn't want to lose you. You're the one thing she doesn't want to share."

"But that isn't fair, I don't take sides and she knows that."

Joe sighed. "Maybe you should this time."

Oh God. I felt my feet go weak and my stomach lurch and knew what was about to happen.

"Yeah, maybe," I agreed with him for once before running to my dressing room and quickly locking the door so no one could get in before making a beeline to the bathroom. I'd just made it to the toilet when the vomit started. Fuck fucking cancer.

I leaned against the wall, laying my head back as the pounds on the door matched the beats of the drums.

"Miley, you alright?" I heard someone call. Nick.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I forced myself up, brushing my teeth before going to the door.

All three brothers looked at me concerned but I shook her head for them not to worry. "Is Selena done performing yet?"

"She just got off stage."

"Demi's gonna be pissed if you see her."

"Dressing room."

All three answered, one after another, oldest to youngest.

"Thanks," I walked through them, going to the only person who knew my secret. I was kind of glad someone knew. It made it easier, because it was someone who didn't give out pity rides. Especially not to me.

I knocked on the door, not looking back to the brothers. I knew that their disappointed looks would be enough to make me turn around.

"It's open!" she yelled.

I walked in, giving a soft apologetic smile. "Sorry, it's just-"

"No, it's fine. I don't mind," Selena assured. "It's been getting kind of lonely on tour anyway. None of them like me much."

"Yeah they do," I quickly argued. "Nick-"

"I'll rephrase that. None of them love me as much as they love you."

I tried to think of something to prove her wrong, but I couldn't. It wasn't exactly an unknown fact. "They just don't know you as well."

"Demi does."

"Demi's mad at you," I reminded.

She shrugged. "What happened that made you hide... again?"

"I threw up and now they're all spazzing," I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe you should tell them."

"I will eventually," I repeated. "Anyway, you did great-"

"Hey, guys," Nick waltzed in, a small smirk on his lips that I was positive only I could notice.

Selena smiled at him, but by not jumping to conclusions I couldn't tell if it was a smile of friendship or love. All I saw was Nick's smirk as he stared at me, blatantly letting me know that my plan to escape him failed. I glared back, but he was unphased.

"So, what were we talking about?"

"Girl things, Nicholas. Now, get out."

He shook his head a little. "Mi-"

"Would you just respect my privacy for once?" I snapped. I watched his face fall, crumbling as if I'd just told him off. I took a deep breath, standing up. "I'm sorry. It's just been a hard week."

"It's fine," he assured me once again, wrapping my small body in his. For a few seconds it felt like everything was gonna be okay. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"

I nodded into him, even though I already knew I wouldn't be telling him the truth.

"Sel, you did so good. You've came a long way since you started," he pulled away from me, going to give her a hug. When he left I couldn't help but feel the emptiness inside me and sighed, knowing Selena was getting the feeling of being loved by him right now. Even after all of these years, I still wonder who he loved more. Maybe it was one of those things I'd never know... I always like to pretend it was me.

:::

"Don't talk to me," Demi spat as I walked off stage, ending the show. I'd cleverly avoided her before I went on, but knew now that there was no way out of her dark, angry, wrath of jealousy.

"Alright," I shrugged, walking to my dressing room. That was fine with me. I wasn't exactly in the mood to get yelled at.

I changed alone before walking back to the bus. The engines were gently humming and I knew we'd be leaving in five minutes. Somehow I doubted Demi would tell the driver to wait for me. If I was five minutes later I'd have been stranded there.

"If it isn't the bitching, lying backstabber," Demi muttered as I got on.

If it was a hater saying that, I'd ignore it. But since it was Demi I couldn't. I turned to face her, putting a hand on my hips as I set my bag down. "Really? Really, we're doing this now?"

"Don't blame it on me-"

"You're the one to blame," I argued.

She shook her head, glaring at me through thin little slits. "No, I'm not. Don't even go. How could you do this to me?"

"Because I'm out to get you, Demi. I obviously want to make your life hell," I rolled my eyes at her dramatics.

"I'm serious!" she stood up. "You know how much I don't like her, Mi. You know. You more than anyone."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that I joined a cult when I became friends with you. Should I make a list saying who you aren't allowed to like, too?"

"You could, but I'd actually follow it."

"Bullshit."

"I've already given up so much for you-"

"I'm pretty sure it's the other way around," I spat out. "I gave up so much for you. And I gave you so much."

"Like what?"

"Like fame," I crossed my arms. "You know that you started out being my friend just to use me."

"I told you I was sorry," she screamed. "We've moved on from this."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does," she rolled her eyes. "Besides, you obviously didn't give me all my fame, 'cause I'm not famous for being a slut which is more than you can say."

I couldn't help it. It was instinct. I slapped her and she quickly shoved me into the table. I went back at her but suddenly Selena was instantly in between us both, just standing there, crossing her arms. She knew for a fact I'd never hit her and Demi's pause in movement showed she never would either. But, God, did I want her to move.

"Move," Demi demanded.

"No," Selena crossed her arms. It's the only time I've ever really seen her be defiant towards anyone.

"Selena, move or I will make you."

"Go ahead, hit me," she turned, walking closer to Demi with full confidence.

We both knew Demi wouldn't lay a finger on her. She tried to walk around Selena to get to me, but it was no use. She'd broken up the fight.

I cover my mouth, barely able to make it to the sink before the vomit started coming out yet again.

"Miley!" I heard Demi scream as she ran the few steps, holding my hair back. "Miley, are you okay?"

Gee, Demi, how about you hold on ten seconds and ask me that when I'm not puking.

"Mi," Demi whispered as the puking died down and she loosened the grip on my hair as I pulled away. She was stroking my hair and I closed my eyes.

"I'm fine. It's all good now."

"I told Nick we shouldn't have gotten that takeout. He never listens," she smiled a little. "Why don't you go lay down? I'll get you your laptop and stuff."

"It's okay, I got it-"

"Go lay down," she ordered.

I nodded, giving up, because to be totally honest, I didn't exactly feel the best right now. She could pamper me if she was really that insistent on it. I went to the couch, instantly closing my eyes. I felt so drained.

Once Demi left the room Selena walked over, kneeling next to me. "You alright?"

"I'm just tired from it," I explained.

"I'm trusting you to tell me if you need your mom or a doctor, okay?"

I nodded. "I will if I need one. Right now I just feel really tired."

"How about Nick comes on? I bet he'd make you feel better."

"Oh, Miley would love that," Demi smirked, walking back in. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. For once."

"Demi," I warned. "Selena, that'd be great. I'd love that."

"Of course you would," Demi smiled a little.

"Because he's my best-friend, and that's all," I added, giving Demi a pointed look.

She just laughed. "Of course he is."

"I'm with Demi on this one," Selena murmured to me, trying to keep her voice low enough for Demi not to go off on her.

"Usually, I'd be offended by that, but see? When even Selena agrees with you, it says something."

"Good, so spend less time insulting Sel and more time getting Nick over here," I told her, trying to stop the hurt that was repeatedly flashing through Selena's eyes.

I knew that Demi could be a bitch, and she definitely could take things too far in order to protect herself, but it was Selena who made her that way. She was defenseless when it came to her and we both knew it, so she made up insults and pretended to hate her so she wouldn't get hurt again. I wish she would listen when I told her how stupid that was.

"Fine, fine," she got her phone, telling him to run over here before we left. We all sat in silence for a few seconds before I decided to break it.

"Nobody tell him that I puked," I instructed. The last thing I needed was Nick freaking out over something so small.

He ran in, looking at three of us as Demi pointed me nonchalanty. "She puked."

"Demi!" I growled. "What the fuck?"

"Being honest with each other is the key to every relationship," she shrugged, going back to her bunk.

"Mi, you okay?"

I rolled my eyes. This was why I didn't want anyone to tell him. He worries about me too much. "I'm fine, I'm sure it's just the flu or something."

"This is the second time today," he sighed. I should have known he knew I'd gotten sick earlier. That's why he was watching me so closely on stage.

"I'm fine," I repeated. "I just wanted your company. Demi isn't exactly a pleasure to be around right now."

"I told you Demi would be mad," he gloated.

"Shut the fuck up before I throw you out of the bus while it's moving," I cursed.

"Okay, and on that note, I'll be in my bunk," Selena stood up, walking out of the room.

I looked at Nick, smiling a little. "What? Were you guys never that blunt with each other?"

"We weren't one for threats."

"That wasn't a threat, that was a warning."

"Oh, please," he laid down on the floor and I took my blanket and phone, laying next to him. "You put up with me for an entire tour before, you won't throw me out on the third day of this one."

"Remember when we broke up at the end of that tour? I don't think I put up with you too well."

It was the first time we could sit in a room like this and joke about it. It felt nice to know we'd made that kind of progress.

"Remember when almost got back together?"

"Remember the first time we met?"

"Remember the first time you asked me out?"

"Remember our first phone call?"

Nick laughed a little. "Remember our first kiss?"

"Remember when you got grounded back in Jersey and we almost died?"

"Remember when you snuck out on your private jet to come to Jersey?"

"Remember your mom's face when she saw me?"

"Remember when you made that video with Mandy about Demi and Selena?"

Oh, God. The entire world remembered that.

"Remember your face when you saw me and Demi together for the first time?"

"Remember your face when we rode on the jet ski together?"

"Remember when you came to Dallas with us?"

"Remember when Joe hated me because he thought I was a bad influence?"

"Remember when we spent hours over at your house on that trampoline?" he asked. That trampoline was our meeting spot for years.

"Remember when you visited me while I was shooting the Hannah Montana movie? Remember how you hid? Remember how you thought I didn't see you?" I turned to look at his face. It was priceless. Like a ghost hit him. "Oh, wait, you probably didn't know the last one."

"Remember how you came to visit me on the Camp Rock premiere date? Remember how you sat outside for an hour in your car? Remember how you thought I didn't see you?"

Okay, moving off this topic of secret visits. "Remember our random dates that we did for old times sakes all through 2009?"

"Remember how we had that one night and we pretended it was 2007 again?"

"Remember when we visited my house in Tennessee together?"

"Remember how we... reconnected?"

"Remember how we did a lot more than just reconnecting?"

"Remember how our parents used to get our families together every Friday for dinner?"

"Remember when I sang 7 Things and went up to Selena for her to join at TCA's?"

"Remember how mad I was after?"

"Remember when we finally made up from 2008?"

"Remember how awkward it was to become friends again at first?" he asked as if he didn't think I would have felt it. No, even Miley Cyrus felt the awkwardness back in the beginning of 2009.

"Remember how we made it?"

"Remember Tybee?"

"Remember how we took a trip to-"

"Would you two shut up?" Demi yelled out. "I don't remember, and I don't care!"

"Remember when we didn't need to deal with her?" I asked with a smirk. I was allowed to do that. Demi was my best-friend.

He laughed a little, nodding silently. "You feeling better?"

"A lot now that you're here."

"Good."

"Remember when they refused to talk to each other?" I heard Demi ask Selena. Well, at least us pissing Demi off was distracting her from the pure hate she had towards Selena lately.

"Remember when we didn't refuse to talk to each other?"

Nick and I both looked at each other as Selena said that. I rose my eyebrows, and he stifled a laugh. Selena literally never stood up for herself or made witty comebacks, yet I was quickly seeing that she was different when she was around Demi.

"You okay, Mi?"

"Nick, I'm fine," I tried to convince him.

He sighed, shaking his head. "You wouldn't tell me if you weren't."

"Because I don't want you to worry like this. Trust me, okay?"

He nodded, putting a hand on my cheek as he pulled me close in order to share the blanket. He took a pillow from the couch and I knew he'd stay here whenever I needed. "I just have this weird feeling you're lying to me. Weird, right?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "It's just a twenty-four hour bug."

"Okay," he gave in, pushing hair behind my ear before stroking my cheek. He went up, kissing my temple before laying down for good, keeping his hands to himself. I wanted to grab his hand so badly right then.

He closed his eyes, not knowing I was staring at him. Right before he went to sleep, I heard him murmur and sighed at how much he cared. It made it so hard to keep things from him.

"I just hope you're okay."

this story is fun to write. merry christmas! i hope you all got what you wanted :)

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