Chapter Twelve.

I took a deep breath, opening for the last song of the night. I'd listen to her. I'd do what Selena said. I'd try to fix this.

"Well it's good to hear your voice," I started it out as a murmur, but grew louder as the screams increased. Please, please, God, let him be listening. "If you're listening, I'm really sorry," I added. Then, that ended the show. I had nothing else I could say. So I walked off stage, feeling the hate radiating in the room.

"I told you he wouldn't forgive me," I groaned as Demi and Selena both looked at me while Nick was across the room, completely glaring at me, the most hate I've ever seen in his eyes. Shouldn't he be a little happier? I tried to apologize.

"I didn't tell you to sing Stay," Selena rolled her eyes as if that was a stupid conclusion. That was exactly what she told me to do. "I told you to beg."

I didn't think she was literal with that verb. I wasn't sure if she'd noticed, but I didn't beg for anyone.

"You aren't gonna be able to sing your way out of this," Demi defended Selena.

"What am I supposed to do?"

They looked at each other, making eye contact for the first time all tour before they whipped back around to me, saying one word at the exact same time. "Beg."

And they really thought they hated each other?

I clenched my jaw. "I'm not a fucking dog, how do you expect me to do that?"

"Stop hiding behind your self-pride," Demi instructed. "You need to go in there, let your walls down, and say it like you mean it."

"I do mean it."

"So show it."

"He wouldn't listen to me if I tried," I fought. I knew Nick.

"And when have you ever tried?" Demi challenged me.

"A lot!"

"Then try again," she rolled her eyes, turning to walk away, dragging Selena with her. I wasn't exactly sure what she was expecting to do with Selena, but didn't really care at the moment. I just needed to get away from him. Before I went insane. But first, I had to at least try to make things right with him. I did love him, after all.

I looked over to Nick who was still sending hateful glances in my direction ever two seconds, not even able to hide his emotions. Why couldn't he just understand that I was sorry? I really was. I took a deep breath, walking up to him, making complete eye contact when I got there, something i didn't do often.

"Can I talk to you?"

"No," he told me walking away.

I shrugged. Well, I tried. If he didn't wanna listen what was I supposed to do, stalk him until he did? That wasn't me, and as hurt as I was without him, I refused to change.

I went into my dressing room, quickly changing. Was I supposed to feel happy about not having him or terribly heartbroken? Because I still wasn't sure which one I felt. Lately all these feelings have just been so overpowering, overwhelming, that I couldn't sort them all out. They were running through my head and giving me a headache, but I didn't have the energy to sort them anymore. I checked my wig one last time before making a beeline to my bus, ready for safety.

But it wasn't safe any more. I stopped dead in my tracks when I walked on.

"Why are you here?"

Nick turned around as I shut the door, his face falling when he just saw me. "Joe said Selena needed to talk to me about something important."

I nodded, going to the back, my heart falling more than it should. I was getting replaced again.

"You singing songs won't get you anywhere, just so you know," he mumbled as the bus started moving. If we weren't so interested in the other, maybe we would've noticed that it started moving without Selena, the person Nick came for, actually on it and that this was all some big plan, but we didn't. We simply kept going at it.

I turned, not exactly sure what he was trying to say. "What?"

"It won't," he shrugged.

I looked up surprised, raising an eyebrow at him. Songs always got me somewhere. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said. Stay won't help anything between us. Singing that was immature and unprofessional."

"Sorry, for trying to show you I feel bad."

"Right now you're being immature and unprofessional. Don't get defensive over constructive criticism," he instructed like an asshole.

"I'm not," I shook my head, trying to keep calm. "I just-" I cut off. "I'm sorry, okay? And I know-"

He looked taken aback, but still had the courtesy to interrupt me.

"You know what? That you never cared about me?"

I paused, looking at him genuinely pissed off, the anger I was trying to control raging out. Now that went too far. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He kept a straight face, those brown eyes giving no mercy. "Really? Really? I never cared? I always cared. I wrote half a novel about you, a bajillion songs, then you're the only person that I actually let see the real me, all of it. You know me better than Demi, and I know you better than anyone else, I could probably list the different quirks you have in my sleep, and you have the nerve to say that I never cared? I loved you."

He shook his head. "With you that doesn't prove anything anymore."

"Why are you being so mean?"

"You can't even say that anymore," Nick growled. "You aren't the innocent thirteen year old who had the right to say that, no, now you're just as mean as the rest of us."

"No-" I paused, a small light catching my eye from the computer. I squinted, only confirming my thoughts of what the bright white light was and couldn't stop the anger that was flowing through my veins. All that anger that I'd been holding in. "Is that a webcam?" I stared at the computer before looking at Nick. "Is that a fucking webcam? Do we look like some television show to you?"

"I don't know what they're trying to pull," he sighed, obviously just as stressed as I was.

"Assholes!" I marched over to the laptop flicking whoever was off watching it off before throwing the computer across the room at the wall, watching it break. "Fucking cunts!"

"Miley-" His eyes were wide, completely shocked I just did that but I was sick and tired of this. All of it.

"What?" I spat. "There, now you aren't being fucking videotaped, what?"

He just stared at me, completely unsure of what to say.

"You know what? I don't even care."

"Miley," he took a step closer.

"No. Don't fucking touch me," I took a step back. "Fuck them. Fuck them, fuck them, fuck them. And fuck you, fuck everyone! God, I want off of this fucking tour, get me off. I hate this! I fucking – God, I want to get out of here," I sobbed, completely breaking down suddenly, screaming, scratching my face and wishing I could pull my hair out. I didn't know what came over me, but suddenly I couldn't hold it in. "I quit, I want to get out, fuck all of you!"

"Miley-"

I walked forward, trying to push past him but he blocked me.

"I hate you all. Just let me go. I quit. Leave," I screamed at him before going over to the door and pounding on it. "Let me out. I – I hate this tour. I hate being famous, I don't want to be here."

"Miley," Nick repeated.

I went back up to Nick, trying to pass him but he blocked me again.

"Miley," he kept saying it. He had to stop saying it. "Miley."

"I'm sorry, I swear I am," I cried. "Just, let me go, let me go, Nick."

"Miley," he kept saying, wrapping his arms around me. "Miley."

"Stop it! Don't call me that."

"Mi," the tears came faster at the nickname, "Mile, MiCy, Ley, Miles, Princess, Cyrus, Mi-Mi-"

"Stop!" I screeched.

He started rubbing his hand up and down my back slowly, staying strong. "You need to calm down, Angel."

"Let me go," I whimpered.

"Don't do anything you'll regret," he kept ignoring me, keeping me safe in his arms.

"I won't regret this, I can promise you that. I will not regret running away, not now, not ever."

"Tell me that in the morning." He led us both to the back room, laying me down in the bed before he climbed in beside me. "Just go to sleep, Angel."

"No, not until you stop being nice to me, you hate me, don't pretend, admit it, you hate me. Everyone fucking hates me and I'm just sick of it-"

"Miley, I said to calm down, alright? I could never hate you and you should know that." I shut my eyes tighter, not wanting to hear his lies. He lifted my head up. "Open your eyes."

I wouldn't.

"Open your eyes, Miley."

I couldn't.

"Miley."

I did.

I looked at him and his eyes were so honest and pitiful. He looked at me and I could tell he was trying to convince me with everything he had in him. He was telling the truth. "I could never hate you. You are my favorite, but… Just sometimes you fuck it all up so bad."

"I'm so sorry," I held myself there, but as if he read my mind he pulled me in closer to him, letting me soak his t-shirt.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow," he sighed, starting to stroke my hair. "Calm down, it's okay."

I couldn't fight with him even when I tried. I was crying too hard, no breath left for words.

"You're fine, just sleep," he murmured.

"S-" I gasped for air, hiccupping and crying and hating myself for having this breakdown in the first place nevermind in front of him. "Sing."

"Yeah?" he asked. I nodded, calming down. Not a lot, but just a little.

He took a deep breath, and I knew in that moment he would have done anything I asked. Sometimes I wonder why I only asked for a song.

For the longest time I thought I'd lost the best of me
But I'll be damned if I quit now and that's for sure
All I ever wanted was for you to look at me
And know I'm all yours.

Like the penguins need their wings for deep cold water dives
Like the earth needs the moon to keep it on course
When you touch me, I know there is purpose in my life
Just know I'm all yours.

I closed my eyes, going deeper into his chest and taking in his scent, not sure if it'd be the last chance I had to do it, letting him continue singing. The sound of his voice calmed me down.

I've been wondering if you could ever realize
That we're growing up so fast, and it's insane
My dear, our hearts have gotten good at pumping cheap new lust
Into our young veins

I wasn't sure what song this was, or where he heard it, but I liked it. Especially when he sang it. Because it meant things would be okay. That somehow, things might just work out.

I knew that I'd have a lot of explaining to do in the morning, but just for this one night that was okay. I felt my breathing get deeper and my tears get more spaced out. For now I could live in this dream that we'd be alright.

I'm a mess, I confess that I'm nothing without you
And there is nothing I can do to prove to you I'm being honest
Now I see, everything; and yes I've known it all along
I was so lost, but I'm back and I finally know now where my heart belongs.

i haaaate this chapter so much but i've been really busy and just haven't had time to rewrite it, then i figured it's already been too long without an update. so here you all are. hopefully you enjoyed... the song in this is Come What May by The Scene Aesthetic. there's a lot of family problems right now, so that either means i'll be updating a lot more or a lot less. ha, hopefully more, i guess. hope you enjoyed it. thank you for reading.

:)