Derek, Meredith and Zola had all left, and once again it was just Mark and Lexie in the room. He hated to admit, but he liked it this way. No one was in the way of him being able to say what he really felt. He just hoped that Lexie could hear him. He hoped she was actually listening to him. The room was quiet and peaceful. He could actually think straight without all of the people yelling and screaming and trying to tell him what to do, as if they knew. They didn't know what he was going through. They didn't know just how torn up his was about this. The love of his life, the girl he always thought he was destined to be with, but the one he could never make it work with and always seemed to be hurting…She was in a near death state. She might not ever wake up again. He might not ever get to see her, as her again. Because right now it didn't even feel like the person lying in the bed was the alive and beautiful Lexie he knew. What if he never got to tell her? What if he never got to show how much he truly loved her? Even through all their break-ups and fighting he'd always assumed something, or always had it at the back of his mind….Them him and Lexie would end up together one day, and be the happiest couple. And now what…What if that fantasy was shattered forever?
At that moment Mark felt a buzzing in his pocket. He reached in a grabbed his cell phone. The screen read 11 missed calls, 14 new messages and 4 new voicemails. Oh crap. Only one person they could be from. Julia. He braced himself for all the anger and worry he was about to hear as he listened to the voicemails. Thank God there were only 4 of them. The first one was probably the worst. "MARK! Where the hell are you! I came out of the bathroom and you were just gone! Are you alright? Did something happen? Are you at the hospital? Was it a patient? I…I just don't understand. Why the hell wouldn't you say something before running out like that? I'm really starting to worry. Please call me back. SOON."
He clicked to play the next one, "Mark seriously, I am not joking I NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW! I'm going out of my mind here. I…I don't know what to do. I'm tempted to call the police or something. Please answer your phone. I don't know what's happening or if you're in a surgery or something…Heck I'm half convinced you're lying in a ditch somewhere. Call me."
He didn't pay much attention to the next two but they progressively got angrier and louder. He read the texts; most of them were the same thing, "Call me now. This is Urgent." "Where are you?" "Why won't you answer?" "Pick up your phone." "I'm worried sick, please Mark answer me now,"
He finally just deleted his inbox without even reading the rest. He couldn't. He couldn't think about her right now. And he couldn't talk to her right now either, so he wasn't going to call her back. He knew it was a horrible thing. He hated that he had to leave her to worry but he had bigger things on his mind right now.
Derek drove Meredith and Zola home, trying to focus on the road as he drove. He helped Meredith and carried his sleeping little girl inside. Immediately after he found himself getting back in the car and yet again driving back to the hospital. The exhaustion was just starting to set in. It had already been a long day on top of this. He could barely keep his eyes open as he drove. He didn't want to be doing this. He just wanted to be home for the night, but this was a family emergency and these are the kinds of things you do for your family. He just hoped he'd have enough energy left over to perform surgeries the next day. He'd need some on-call room time for sure.
Derek entered through the front doors in the lobby and walked through the ER on his way back to Lexie's room, out of curiosity as to what Thatcher was doing. He ambled down checking the bed's for his so-called 'father-in-law', not spotting him until he heard, "Oh, Doctor Shepherd!" from behind him.
Thatcher. Just the person he was looking for. Derek strutted back to his bedside, keeping his facial expressions straight. "Hey, I'm a little confused here. I was wondering if you could help me. I've been calling out for a nurse but no one seems to me here, or I don't know…No one's come to help. Everything's been happening so fast, I honestly don't even know how I got here. I was a little upset today for…Some personal reasons. I can't remember what…happened, I… I was in my house and then next thing I was here when I woke up. Did I fall or something? Am…am I hurt? I don't think I can take another medical scare. Oh that reminds me...WH…Where's my daughter…Well daughters? "He asked, acting all smiley and being totally oblivious. Did he really not remember anything? It was just like the last time he showed up drunk and made Meredith feel bad for him. He was sick. That's what he was. Derek didn't care how bad his life had been or how depressed he'd become after his wife died. He was a drunk and he'd always been one. Sometimes Derek wondered just how long he had been a substance abuser. It could've gone all the way back to when Lexie was just a little kid. Derek gave a long, awkward pause with his solemn angry expression. Eventually Thatcher's stupidly happy looking face began to slowly fade into a puzzled one.
"Well," Derek finally broke his silence abruptly, "The daughter that is married to me, Meredith in case you forgot her name, she's at home with our daughter sound asleep. She's fine, but she's still a little upset. And your other daughter…Well she's upstairs actually," Derek side, lifting his head up at the stairs down the hall. "She's lying in a hospital in a coma because some sick bastard nearly bashed her SKULL IN with a GLASS BOTTLE." He said emphatically, his face showing his fury at last. And with that he left, taking in the shocked look on Thatcher's face. It was priceless to see the man finally realize he'd done something wrong. He wasn't sure if Thatcher had made the connection that he himself was the sick bastard that assaulted his own child, but he was satisfied enough by the reaction he'd gotten.
On his way up Derek picked up two cups of coffee with a lot of sugar to help keep him and Mark awake for the rest of the night, or rather the morning since it was just past 6 AM. Mark was in the same place as he'd been in when Derek had first left, and thankfully so was Lexie. That was a relief in the least sense to walk in and find. At least she was still here, she was still alive and she was still stable.
"How is she?" Derek asked through the silence of the room grabbing Mark's attention as he turned in his seat to face the visitor.
"She's good," Mark nodded, "She's the same."
"Here," Derek offered one of the cups to Mark, holding it out to him.
"Uh…No," Mark denied it, "I'm fine…Really, I'm fine." Mark said turning his hand and waving his hand.
Derek smirked and then replied, "Come on, you need a pick me up. You look like you haven't sleep in a year," moving the cup even closer to Mark's face, as a taunting gesture.
Mark quickly turned back and looked at Derek with a "Are you kidding me?" expression. He finally accepted the coffee and retorted, "So you do. I never thought a person could get a 5 o'clock shadow in a matter of 5 hours."
They both chuckled a bit, and it felt good to laugh. Even one ounce of happiness felt like a huge lift on their burden, but it didn't last long. The moment flew by as fast as it had flown in. And then they were back to their straight faces, and back to their grieving stage. They'd both gone silent, and were back to watching over Lexie when Mark made a surprising conversation, "Julia called." He'd let out so suddenly that Derek was almost startled. Mark was staring at the floor now, as if it were hard for him to talk about…Or maybe awkward. "Well she left a bunch of messages. I didn't answer though…I…I couldn't bring myself to answer. I can't talk to her right now…I just…I can't. I can't even let myself think about her. It's like I don't really want to be thinking about her. Just Lexie….Lexie is the only thing I want to be thinking of right now. And relishing though memories we shared and hoping that there are more to come. I don't want this to be my last memory of her. And I listened to Julia's voice and it's like, I couldn't even…I just…It made me legitimately angry to hear her. And she sounded angry too but I just…I wanted to throw my phone across the room so no I don't think I could handle having an actual conversation with her because right now I can't even listen to her fricking voice without wanted to explode because I have to be hearing her talk instead of Lexie…And I know it's horrible but I can't stand that. I don't want Julia to be worried like she is right now, well like we both are…But I can't face her."
Derek had sat patiently and listened to his friend's rant. He was seeing such changes in Mark. He'd become a man, and not just a really old teenage boy like Derek had always thought. He wanted to help his friend now, because he really needed it…And he deserved it.
"She's just worried. She doesn't know where you're at?" Derek asked, assuming so.
"No…I kinda left in a hurry so I din't get the chance to say anything to her before I went out,"
Derek nodded, understanding him. "Here gimme the phone…I'll go talk to her. I'll step out and call her for you so she at least knows that you're safe. I'll handle it," He said holding his hand out for Mark to give him the cellular device.
"You…you don't have to," Mark shook his head.
"It's okay, I want to," Derek announced, "I want to do this for my dear friend because I have a burden of my own that I've been carrying and I want to somehow make that up to you." And then he took the phone out of Mark's palm.
"Burden? What burden are you talking about?" Mark inquired with furrowed eyebrows, staring down his friend.
"I knew," Derek answered blatantly, "I knew something that…if I had told you it could've maybe changed this outcome for you and Lexie."
"Well what the hell did you know? Stop being so mysterious, come out with it!"
Derek fumbled to actually speak for a moment and then said, "Eh, it was that…Lexie…She still loves you. And of course I know you probably already knew that. The both of you would never really stop loving each other but she…She wanted another chance with you. She'd been holding back though because she didn't want to break up your happiness. She was trying to protect you because she didn't think she was good enough. She knew that you both wanted…Other things, and she wasn't sure if she could ever adapt to your lifestyle so she, she tried to repress her feelings. But it wasn't working and it was definitely tearing her up a bit. She was a mess. Some days I could just see it in her face, how much agony she was in… Over you. And I never did anything. I should've told you, I should've pushed Lexie towards you instead of trying to hold her back. And now…I have to live with that…And I'm very sorry."
Mark looked stunned, but swallowed and responded with, "No. It's not your fault. Don't think that. You didn't do anything wrong. Thank you, thank you for telling me that though."
"No problem." Derek replied humbly, "I'm gonna go now, and I'll grab her lab work on the way back…See if I can't get somewhere with it." He smiled as he left.
Mark hadn't always realized how great of a friend Derek truly was. He really appreciated that. And he knew that he often took their friendship for granted, but he was grateful that even through all they've been through, they've kept their relationship alive. No matter what Mark did Derek always found a way to forgive him. And vice versa.
Mark sat watching over Lexie, listening to the steady beeping of the machines. Her eyelids remained closed, and her mouth was partially open from the tube. Her lips were so dry and dehydrated that they were cracked and a white color instead of a healthy pink. Mark wet a washcloth with some cold water and dribbled it over her lips, slowly moisturizing the flaky skin with the cool liquid, all the while stoking the side of her face, feeling the stitched and coagulated cuts on her face.
"I love you too…So much. And I'm a fool for not seeing that you were miserable over this. I wish that I could take back everything I've ever done. I never meant to hurt you. And I'm gonna change. Again. I've been doing a lot of that lately, but I really mean it this time. I'm gonna be everything you ever wanted. I'm gonna prove it to you, somehow. But all you have to do is…You just have to survive, okay? Can you do that for me…for everyone? Can you just hold on? Because I don't think I can go on…In life, I can't keep living on this planet if you're not here with me. You and me, Lex. We're meant to be. I always knew it…I knew we were supposed to end up together. So don't die on me now. We're going to be happy….Maybe for once in our life we can just finally be happy again."