Another update!

I guess I'm feeling inspired...

This chapter is a bit emotional I guess. A bit unexpected as well.

Hope you enjoy it anyway ;P

Jonathan was stunned to say the least. He had thought his playful suggestion would have been pushed aside, seen as a simple joke. Instead, Kaidan had practically jumped him. When he closed his eyes he could still see that primal glint in Kaidan's eyes. It sent shivers down his spine.

The bruised cheek and cut lip had been worth it. At least, he thought so. After the fight, Kaidan had taken him to see Doctor Chakwas and had left soon after, entrusting the good doctor to keep an eye on him. As if he needed a babysitter. He didn't complain though. He always enjoyed listening to the stories Chakwas had to tell about her past escapades. She was in the middle of one such a tale when John walked in. Apparently he had finally gotten over his pride and come to see the doctor about his own injuries. When he saw Jonathan he froze momentarily, but then seemed to shake himself and proceeded into the Med bay.

"Ah, Shepard. I was wondering when you would stop by." Chakwas said in a tone that reminded Jonathan of a mother about to scold a misbehaving child.

"Yeah well, here I am." John said, not making eye contact with either of them.

"We can chat more later, doctor." Jonathan said, making to stand up and leave.

Chakwas nodded and flashed him a brief smile, but John stopped him with a palm on his chest as he moved past.

"Stay. We have to talk."

Jonathan was slightly taken aback. He hadn't expected John to be the one to instigate the much-needed conversation. He nodded slowly and turned back to the chair he had been sitting in. Chakwas grabbed John by the arm and pulled him over to her equipment. John flinched a few times as she went about her work, complaining whenever the disinfectant stung or when she prodded a bruise.

"Stop being such a baby!" she scoffed, "He didn't even flinch once." She said gesturing towards Jonathan. John scowled.

Jonathan groaned inwardly. As if he needed the doctor's help to antagonize John any further. He briefly glanced over at the Commander. The scowl had softened. He now wore a placid expression as he looked over the doctor's shoulder at Jonathan. Their eyes met briefly before both men looked away.

"Awkward…" Jonathan whispered to himself.

Minutes ticked by until the doctor was finally done. She dumped the swabs and clippings in the bin before making her way to the door.

"I'll leave you two alone so you can have your talk. But if you get into another fist fight, you're on your own. Don't coming running back to me to dab at your wounds." She said as she eyed each man individually before stepping out.

Jonathan took in a deep breath as he waited for the bomb to explode.

"I'm sorry." John said in a whisper so soft Jonathan almost thought he had imagined it.

The biotic looked up, eyes wide. John chuckled.

"Unexpected?"

"Well… yeah." Jonathan said incredulously.

John was still smiling.

"I thought so too." He said shaking his head before folding his arms and walking slowly towards his double.

"Listen… I may have been a bit harsh towards you since we found you."

Jonathan snorted.

"Ok, maybe more than just a little." John sighed before continuing, "Truth is I was so caught off guard that I fell back into my 'survival mode' where I turn in to a complete asshole. It's kinda like a reflex, I guess."

Jonathan didn't say anything; he just sat there regarding the man in front of him for a while.

"Liara put you up to this, didn't she?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as he folded his arms.

John looked momentarily surprised at being caught out. He smiled and kicked at an invisible pebble.

"Guess I should know better than to try and pull the wool over my own eyes."

Jonathan tilted his head to the side as he waited for John to continue.

"She did suggest that I come here and try to smooth things over, yes."

"Thought so." Jonathan said nodding to himself.

"So what did Liara tell you to tell me?"

"Hey it's not like that. She only asked me to come here, what I've said to you has been my own words."

Jonathan regarded him for a moment before sighing.

"Ok, I believe you. You were saying how you are an asshole when you're caught off guard."

"Yes, well… I shouldn't have been such a dick. I kind of know what you're going through. Not exactly, I know, but to a certain extent. After the Collector attack I was basically stone cold dead. It took Cerberus two years to rebuild my mind and body. I guess at the same time they started on me they began working on you too."

Jonathan sat quietly listening to what John was saying. He noticed that it seemed as if John was forcing himself to carry on. Like he didn't want to delve into those memories again.

"When I woke up two years of my life were gone. I was surrounded by people I didn't know, working for what most people considered to be a terrorist organization. My friends and family thought me dead. Most of them had moved on. I felt so alone." John said in a quite voice.

Jonathan didn't know how to react. John was showing a completely different side of himself, a vulnerable side that he hid from the world. Jonathan was surprised that he was being so open, especially to him. He wondered if he had spoken to Liara or even Kaidan like this before. Something inside told him that was highly unlikely.

John cleared his throat before continuing.

"About three months after my revival, the Illusive Man sent us to look into a human colony on Horizon. We had determined that Horizon was to be the Collector's next target. We arrived just as the Collectors attacked. It took a lot of effort but in the end we were able to drive them off the planet by hacking the AA guns that served as the colonies defenses."

"Go on" Jonathan urged.

"As we were about to leave, Kaidan appeared. He had been assigned by the Alliance to upgrade the defenses on Horizon. He was one of the few to escape being taken by the Collectors."

John paused a moment before speaking again.

"I was so happy to see him. I thought he would be glad to see me too but that wasn't the case. At least it didn't appear so."

"What happened?"

"Kaidan was furious. He couldn't believe I was alive and hadn't contacted him. The fact that I was with Cerberus only made it worse. He called me a traitor to the Alliance and refused to let me explain. I could feel a light inside my heart go out. All I had been thinking of for those past months was that I wanted to see him again. To tell him how I really felt. Dying really opens your eyes to such things, you know?" John said with a sigh, pressing his thumb and finger to his temples.

"Anyway… Soon after that I ran into Liara again on Illium. I guess I latched on to her. We grew close. Slowly, Kaidan started to fade into the back of my mind. We completed our mission, destroying the Collector base and turning our backs on Cerberus. After that came the Batarian incident, followed by my grounding. I was on Earth for about six months when the Reapers attacked. It was on that day that I saw Kaidan again and everything just came rushing back. And with all the death and destruction, the weight of the whole galaxy and my relationship with Liara… Things just became too complicated and when Kaidan came out and told me he had feelings I panicked. The look of rejection on his face broke me all over again…"

Jonathan couldn't meet the eyes of the man before him. He felt bad for judging him these past few days. Now he thought he understood why John acted the way he did. It was all a front to hide what was actually killing him inside. For all his bravado and egotistical mannerisms he was actually just a plain human being. In a way Jonathan knew what he felt like. He had experienced the pressure of leadership when going up against Saren and Sovereign, John had been through so much more while Jonathan had been floating in a tank. He felt deeply sorry for this man.

"What I'm getting at is that I rejected Kaidan. I pushed him away. So I have no right to take it out on you now that he has found someone else." John looked at his boots as he finished.

"I'm sorry, John. I hadn't really considered all that could have happened to you in the past. Honestly I thought you were just being a jealous prick."

Both men chuckled softly.

"I'm not going to end it though." Jonathan said firmly.

John looked up to meet the solid stare.

"The way you feel about him is exactly how I feel. I'm a clone of you after all. I'm not giving up on him. On us."

John stared at him a moment before sadly smiling.

"Yeah, didn't think you will. I wouldn't have."

It was silent in the Med bay for a few minutes before either spoke.

"What are you gonna do now?"

John sighed.

"Well, I'm going to go have a honest talk with Liara. It's not fair that I hide my feelings from her. She has to know that I still care for him. We'll see where it goes from there."

Jonathan nodded.

"That would be best I think."

"I should also speak to Kaidan. Apologize to him as well."

Jonathan stood.

"I'll tell him you're looking for him."

John nodded and stepped to the side to let the other man pass.

Just before he reached the door, Jonathan turned back.

"Thank you for telling me everything. I know it couldn't have been easy.'

"Thank you for listening. I guess it's better to talk to someone about it. Even if it means talking to yourself." He said with a small smile.

Jonathan smiled back but it was a forced smile.

"Listen," John said, noticing the look on Jonathans face. "Even though you aren't the Commander of your own ship anymore, you're still a Shepard. And we could really use your help in this fight."

Jonathan smiled again, this time it was a real smile.

"At your service, Commander." Jonathan said, saluting the man standing across from him.

John smiled too and saluted back.

Jonathan turned once more towards the door but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"If you speak of this to anyone, I'll deny it. It never happened, got it? I have my reputation to uphold after all."

Jonathan smiled to himself and shook his head as the shell re-formed around the man who had moments ago bared his soul.

"In that case Commander, you should disable the comm-system next time." came Jokers voice over the intercom.

John's face went bright red. Jonathan burst out laughing.

"You'd better get that brittle ass of yours behind some cover Joker, because when I get my hands on you…!" John yelled as he stormed off, probably to got throttle the pilot.

Jonathan slowly made his way towards the lounge where Kaidan usually hung out when they had down time, chuckling as he moved along. He was glad that at least some of the tension had been worked out. He had no doubts that this wasn't the end of the issue, but for now at least things were ok.

He found Kaidan staring out at the endless emptiness of space, his back turned to the door.

"What did Joker do this time?" the Major asked, turning around to face him.

"He was eavesdropping."

Kaidan snorted.

"I'm not surprised. On who?"

"Us. John and me."

"You spoke to him? " Kaidan asked, his brows lifting in surprised.

"Yep. It was quite informative. He wants to speak to you as well when he has the chance."

Kaidan sighed.

"I guess it would be best to talk it out." He said looking back out into space.

"What did he say? About 'us' I mean?"

Jonathan liked the way he said 'us'. He smiled briefly before answering.

"Well, basically he said he was sorry for the way he has been acting. He was just feeling overwhelmed and then the two of us together kinda sent him over the edge."

"I see."

"So now what?"

"What do you mean?" Kaidan asked.

"Do we give 'us' a go?"

Kaidan tilted his head and folded his arms.

"Are you willing to settle for a copy?" Jonathan asked in a small voice.

Kaidan's eyes widened. He walked forward and took Jonathan's hands.

"Don't you dare say that!"

"But it's true." Jonathan said.

"Jonathan, you aren't a copy. You're your own person. And…"

"And?"

"And you're real enough for me." Kaidan said and placed his hand on Jonathan's cheek.

Jonathan smiled and leaned forward. As their lips met, time seemed to stand still. Jonathan lost himself in the embrace until they finally broke apart for air. Jonathan drew him close in a tight hug.

"Thank you." He whispered as he buried his face in the crook of Kaidan's neck.

Kaidan hugged him tighter as he felt the tears seeping through his shirt onto his shoulder.

So crisis averted for now, but don't worry, there will still be a few juicy rivalry scenes in the future ;) Maybe even a... threesome *nudge nudge* We'll have to see where it goes.

I know it seems quite strange that Kaidan has turned away from John so fast but all will be explained and elaborated upon in chapters to come. Up next is John's chats with both Liara and Kaidan so expect more emotional scenes. After that the story can get going. There are Reapers to defeat after all...

Any questions/suggestions? Feel free to speak up.

Thanx for all the feedback so far, it really makes a difference :)