It was odd being forced to sit in a hospital room in a robe and know that everything's about to change. My mom was by my bed holding small talk but she couldn't hide how nervous she was. Everyone knew how medically dangerous this surgery could be. Not only for me but for the mysterious donor, too.

I looked up at her and she was already looking at me. My voice was softer than normal and less forced, but it was still clear as dawn. "Do you think I know the donor personally?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean, the public doesn't know so it can't be a fan... I think you almost have to for this opportunity to present itself."

"It can't be anyone too close, though, Mom. It... I swear to God I have this horrible feeling in my stomach that it's Nick and if anyone dies from this - especially him - I'll be crushed, but if it's one of the few people who I actually care about... Mom, it can't be. I can't lose anyone else."

"Well, Honey, I hate telling you this but nobody can bear to lose you. And whoever is doing this, giving you a liver, I am so grateful for. I love you so much."

She held my hand and I gulped trying to hold back the tears. I was giving up everything for this. We had to cancel the rest of the American leg of tour and it made everyone a little gloomy. I knew it did. I told them to keep going, but as a company everyone else voted against me. They said we'd do it next year when I was in better condition. Nick said it's because everyone would return their tickets without me running the show. I disagreed completely.

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, the Jonas' are all having anxiety attacks as Denise tries to calm them down," Demi walked in. "But, as always, I'm right here. By your side."

"See anyone I know in these halls?" I asked. "I want to know who it is, Dem."

"I don't know, but it could honestly be anyone. You have no idea how many people love you."

"Or hate me."

"You're ridiculous, you do know that, right?"

"But I'm still your best friend," I lifted my chin in pride. "Speaking of, what about Selena? Where's she?"

Demi's eyes narrowed into slits and I knew I'd said the wrong thing. "Don't even get me started on that bitch."

"Oh boy," I sighed. "Where is she?"

"Fucking Texas. She thought now would be a good time to go visit her family instead of being here," she hissed. "I swear to God, Miley, after I'm done here... I'm gonna kill her. I don't care if she was my best friend before, that's a bitch move."

My heart did sink a little bit, but I wasn't going to say anything. I thought we were at least friends and she'd be there for me, but I guess not. It just sucks, because I miss my family too, but if roles were reversed I knew I'd still be here, keeping her company.

"It's fine. Don't get all worked up," I smiled.

"She makes me so angry sometimes."

"Yeah, so do you, but it's alright. It doesn't mean anything because it always turns out to be alright."

"This one isn't alright," she huffs. The doctor comes in and we both know what that means. She looks at me for a long time then gives me the tightest hug imaginable. "You'll be okay, Mi."

I wasn't that scared. It was her who she had to reassure.

"I will be," I confirm.

She left and the doctor came in and began explaining the procedure to me as I tried to drone his voice out of my head. I didn't want to hear about complications or any of that. I didn't want to be scared. He gave me "the sleeping medicine" and I instantly felt myself begin to get drowsy. I was ready for this, I was ready to stop this cancer. The last thing I saw was a tall girl with curly blonde hair creeping down the halls, trying to not be seen.

:::

When I woke up Demi and Joe were by my side again. She looked like she had been crying really hard, but the second I woke up all was okay again. She put on a bright smile and Joe let her go from his grasp around her waist.

"Thank god you're okay," she was instantly feeling my forehead as if I might have a fever. I had a transplant, not the flu. "You feel okay?"

"A little sore," I groaned. "Why were you crying?"

"I was so scared you weren't okay," she smiled again but her lips were quivering. I looked at Joe but he was too busy staring at his girlfriend with a worried glance. He shook his head at her and didn't hide that it was taking all of his restraint not to take her away from me and sort out what was wrong himself. The only people who hated seeing Demi cry more than me were him and Selena.

Somehow I forced a laugh, opening my arms and she climbed on the bed with me without hesitation, grabbing my body into a hug. "I'm fine, Dem!"

"Oh, Miley, thank God you're awake," My mom rushed over, coffee in hand. I felt bad. I knew hospital coffee wasn't what any of us were used to. God, I needed to get out of here. People went so crazy in hospitals. "How you feeling?"

"Sore."

She looked down at Demi's sobbing frame then to me for answers. I shrugged. She looked to Joe but it was the same deal.

"Should I give you three time?"

"No, I'm fine," Demi lifted her head up. "I'm just... I'm so glad Miley's okay."

"Honey," My mom cooed, going over by her side. I knew from that tone of voice that something had happened in the waiting room that I wasn't going to find out about from them. They'd bonded. "She's fine. You're gonna be fine."

"I know," she sobered herself up and once again wiped her tears. This time it was real though. She put on a smile. "No more tears. You're okay."

"I'm fine," I smiled brightly. "What'd you guys do while I was under?"

"Worried," Joe smirked, speaking his first words to me since I'd woken up. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks," I grinned. "Did you guys ever figure out who the donor was?"

"About that-"

"No-"

Demi and Joe looked at each other and instantly I knew that one of them was about to tell a lie. They stared until one of them finally laughed it off.

"So?" I asked. "Who is it?"

"We tried as hard as we could," Joe looked at Demi for reassurance of what he was saying. "We have no idea."

"Maybe I can know now that's over-"

"Maybe you don't want to know," Demi interrupted.

My mom helped her out, agreeing with her instantly. "It's not always for the best-"

"I knew it!" I chanted. "I knew I saw her! It was Taylor wasn't it?"

This time all three of them looked at me like I was crazy. I wasn't though, because I knew with everything in me that I saw Taylor Swift in that hallway before I shut my eyes. She's here and I know it.

"What?"

"I saw her!" I protested.

"I think-"

"Listen, Mi," Joe cut his girlfriend off. "It wasn't Taylor, but there is something you should probably know."

"Oh, god. What happened?"

"You donor-"

"You selfish bastard," Nick burst in. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and my heartbeat stopped dead. What had I done? He knew I hated it when he cried.

Joe snapped his head over to his brother as well before moving to Taylor who was still right behind him. For the first time her makeup looked slightly flawed instead of freshly done, eyeliner smeared over her cheeks. She looked at Joe apologetically with her hair falling flat, curls looking messed up.

"I had to tell him," she explained. "She's my best friend, he deserved to know."

"What's going on?" I asked feebly.

"Nothing-"

"You killed her!" Nick shouted at me. "You have everything. Why did you have to-"

"Get him out of here," Joe ordered. His top lip curled up and I knew then that this must be serious. I'd never seen him so mad before, it was on the verge of scary. "Now, Demi. Get them both out."

The girl beside me hopped up. She grabbed on to Nick's arm but he quickly tugged away, coming over to me and Joe.

Taylor simply stood there, shaking her head. She had tears rolling down uncontrollably and they wouldn't stop. I looked up at Joe and his eyes were bloodshot too. I just wanted to know what the hell was going on. Why was everybody crying? Dammit. If Selena was here she'd tell me.

I took Nick's hand but he instantly snatched it away as if we were back in 2008 and he hated me all over. He looked at me with such hatred that I could of sworn he never even loved me. He looked at me the way everyone else had. It was a look that I had never hoped to see on his face.

"What did I do, baby?" I asked him softly.

Joe stepped between us, glaring at him. He was pulling the protective older brother role but at this point I just wanted to know. "Don't do this. You know you can't do this, not now."

"Let's all just hide that bad news from Miley," he laughed, shaking his head. "Of course, it's always that way, isn't it? Everyone protecting Miley."

"What happened? Why are you being so mean?"

I turned to Demi, Joe, they both looked away. I turned to my mom and even she was looking down guiltily. What were they hiding?

"I hope your life is worth it, because of you, Selena is dead. She's not coming back Miley..."

He kept speaking but I froze. What? Selena-No. She was in Texas with her family, she couldn't be, she was just… She was dead. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I realized why she hadn't visited me, texted, called, sent flowers, done something. She wasn't a bad friend at all. All of us had believed her, all of us had doubted her, all of us had no faith that she'd be the one who cared the most.

I stared up at all of them, not fully believing it. Tears were already in my eyes, though. My eyes bounced between the five of them frantically before I was finally able to find words.

"She's dead?"

"It's not-"

"Is she dead, Joe?" I asked helplessly, the first tear falling.

His hands went up to his eyes to wipe the tears he had been holding back. Selena was more important to us than anyone let show this tour, and now we all felt terribly guilty.

"What's going on?" I asked meekly.

Demi turned to Joe who turned to Nick who suddenly looked too guilty to say anything.

"Please, someone tell me," I begged. "Is she – I want to see her."

"It isn't your fault, but," Joe let out a deep breath before pursing his lips, coming over and holding my hands. At first I didn't think he wouldn't be able to finish. "She-" his quivering lip cut him off. "She flatlined during the procedure, Mi. And there's nothing anyone could've done."

"Demi," I gasped for air. "It's a joke. It's a joke right?"

She started crying and once again ran back to me. "I wish it was, Miley. I-Selena's gone. She's dead."

And it was all my fault.

Short. Sweet. Quick update. And more soon.