Oh, Demi Lovato, where do I start with you?

How you holding up, love? Don't cry. Please. I didn't want to make you sad, but we both know that I had to do this. The world wouldn't last a day without Miley, and don't you dare deny that one. God, I hope you don't have to read this.

I feel like I have to repeat this again because you're so hard headed and won't believe me the first few times. I love you so much. And I need you to know now that this has to be the most painful letter I've ever written to anyone and I'm praying that it will forever remain unopened.

This isn't a sad letter. This is a happy one. Because right now, I'm happy and I want you to be too.

Remember when we were seven years old and first met? It's incredible thinking about it. Just watching ourselves change together is amazing. Everything is so different now but we're still the same. And the best part is, through everything that's different, you're still my best friend. And I know we're going through a rough patch right now, but it doesn't count. I'm not sure how that works, but just forget about it. I was never really mad at you anyway. And I know you probably feel guilty, but just stop. Stop remembering our mistakes, and just remember following that creepy dinosaur who was always high or when we first lived together when we were just becoming big stars! There are a lot of good memories to smile about, Dem.

Now, call me cliché, but I am still Selena Gomez. So, to occupy your time, prevent me from crying because this is so damn sappy, and make you quit moping, I made you a list. Here's everything that I want you to accomplish for the rest of your life. If you finish, give it to Miley. She's much more creative so I'm sure she'll add some willingly.

I love you, D.

Start letting go.

1. Go yell at Nick and rip his fucking head off of his body if he ever treats Miley like shit.

2. Stay close friends with Miley. She really loves you... As much as that sucked for me and as much as I'm jealous of her... She deserves you. And you definitely deserve her.

3. Eat. Three meals, everyday. I worry about you.

4. Remember that you are the most beautiful woman on the planet.

5. Seriously, rip Nick's head off.

6. If Miley happens to doubt that I love her, reassure her of that. Because I do. She made you happy. Sort of fucked up my life, but at least you're happy.

7. Don't run away from anything just because you're scared.

8. Fall in love with Prince Charming.

9. Start a family. You'd be an amazing mom.

10. Keep making music.

11. Be there for anyone who needs it.

12. Visit a hospital at least twice a month. Kids really adore you.

13. At least once a day, laugh like you really mean it.

14. Don't place another cut on your body. No exceptions.

15. No more purging.

16. Love yourself as much as I love you.

17. Write a song about every single person you love in life.

19. Don't lose yourself again. Remember, I'm watching. It'd break my heart to see you in that dark of a place again. I know I never quite told you, but watching you go through that from afar killed me. If you could see yourself through anyone else's eyes... You're wonderful.

20. When you're ready – and only when you're ready – throw this letter away and move on. I was just a chapter in your life, Demi. And I can't wait to see the next.

I love you. I really do. But, it's time for you to learn to love you too. Have a great life. Remember, I'm watching you every single moment now. Purge and I'll see. Cut and I'll fucking haunt the shit out of you. But, really, in all honesty, please. Hold in there. You're stronger than you think, you know? Just ask Miley. She'll tell you in person.

Miss you. Love you.

Selena.

I read over the letter then looked up at Demi. She had tears in her eyes and a fitting black dress on. I was in similar attire.

"Ready?" I asked.

She closed her eyes and nodded as we both went downstairs. I was going with her family to the funeral seeing as mine wasn't nearly close enough to Selena to go. If anything, they were wondering why I was going to begin with.

It was odd really. Selena and I never quite connected as well I have with other people, but I felt like she got me more than anyone. A part of my heart was sunken because it was as if the only girl who understood me was gone.

"Ready, girls?"

We looked at each other and both took a deep breath. It was going to be a long, sad day. I was on crutches seeing as I was still a little weak from surgery, but I knew that I had to go. If I didn't, I wouldn't forgive myself.

In the car no one said much. There was nothing to say that would be appropriate for the moment. Demi and Dallas and Maddie and even their mom... Selena was literally like a sister, a daughter. I tried not to imagine the pain they must be feeling.

"It's gonna be sad today," Maddie said when the limo pulled up to the curb again.

Her mom takes her hand and Demi takes Dallas' but stayed in step with me and my crutches.

"I shouldn't be here," I said again walking in.

"You should be," Selena's mom suddenly said behind us. I didn't even realize she was there. "Sit with the family, Miley."

I smiled, forcing a nod even though I disagreed. Demi stepped aside and their moms hugged each other. I didn't think it was possible to feel so out of place. They were all friendly and inviting, but there was that voice that continued to preach that I should be sitting in the back corner, that I shouldn't be invading this church to begin with.

Another limo pulled up to the curb and we all turned to look as the Jonas' stepped out one by one. Joe, Kevin, Nick, Frankie, Denise, Paul. Demi put a hand on my arm and I tried to quickly start a conversation.

"Miley!" Frankie suddenly called. Everyone heard his footsteps coming but he quickly slowed down when he saw the crutches but that didn't stop him from grabbing onto my legs. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Yeah? I'm glad you are," I said sincerely.

"Seeing you here makes it all a little bit better," he murmurs. Denise is by my side along with Paul at this point, the boys going on the other side of Demi. Denise hugged me and whispered encouraging things in my ears.

"I've missed you Momma Jonas," I leaned in, still wary about losing my balance on the crutches.

"We've missed you too," she promised.

"You too, Papa J," I winked, trying to brighten the mood at least a little.

He gave me a fond look and winked right back. "Been different without you. Lots of songs getting written, though."

I looked away awkwardly forcing out a laugh. "Yeah."

We gradually all began moving in and Frankie stayed behind to keep me company as I was slower with the crutches. Demi kept glancing back but I understood she wanted to be with her boyfriend at a time like this.

"Can I sit by you, Miley?" Frankie begged.

It was always nice, him looking up to me so much. "Of course, pal."

"Demi," Taylor walked up, wrapping her arms around her tightly. It didn't matter how competitive they used to be. Now they were just two people in the same boat. Their best friend just died. End of story.

A group that I recognized vaguely was sitting not too far away. It was full of people who I always used to call "the Texas group". It had Marissa and Brandon and all the people I didn't know but I've heard of. Some of them Selena was closer to. Some of the Demi was. Either way, that group was the one group that never changed. Whenever one of them went to Texas, they were all one huge group of connections.

"There's a spot open for you," Taylor waved Demi over to it. Well, if she was in the group now, maybe it had changed.

"No, I'm gonna stick with Miley-"

"You go ahead. They're your friends," I nodded reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll sit with the Jonas'. No biggie."

She looked back and forth trying to figure out what to do. "You can come sit with us too."

"We both know that's not really a good idea," I tried to force a smile. "Besides, I promised Frank I'd sit with him anyway."

"I'll see you after, then?"

"You're my ride home," I agreed.

She walked away with Taylor and I nervously went to the pew the Jonas' had gathered in. Denise was on the edge and I tried to hide how fast my heart was beating.

"Is it okay if I sit with you guys? I don't really know anyone else."

The truth is, I knew a lot of other people, but despite everything that's happened it didn't feel right to not spend today with them.

"Of course," she got up, letting me in and I squeezed in between Joe and Frankie. Joe grinned, wrapping his arm around me to pull me into a side hug and I knew that sitting here was the right choice. These people were the onces made me feel better.

"I've missed you," he whispered.

I looked up at him and smiled a little bit. "I've missed you too, Joey."

He leaned down, murmuring it so softly that even I could barely hear it, "My brother's an ass."

"I know," I nodded. After a lot of thinking, I knew that this time he was undeniably wrong, "but I don't wanna talk about it here."

He held out his hand and I latched on to it and Frankie leaned in to my side. I wrapped an arm around him and Denise grabbed my other hand, squeezing it reassuringly. They are my family.

"Joe," I heard Nick whisper. He turned but then turned back and they kept whispering while I closed my eyes so I wouldn't look. He wasn't being very quiet. Finally, Joe nudged me a little and I looked up.

"I gotta go to the bathroom real quick."

"Joe," I begged. I knew that excuse – I made that excuse. "Please don't leave. I'm not gonna speak to him anyway."

"It'd make him feel a lot better if he sat next to you through this," he tried to explain.

"I'd feel a lot better if he came to see me in the hospital, but..." I shrugged and Joe sighed, standing up and squeezing his way through his family so he could "go to the fucking bathroom".

Meanwhile Nick scooted closer to me but I kept my eyes down. The last thing I wanted to see right now was his arrogant face, because I didn't know how I'd react right now.

He put his hand on my thigh but I grabbed his wrist, guiding it off.

"I'm sorry-"

"We are at Selena's funeral," I hissed, still refusing to look at him. "Not here."

Shockingly that somehow got through his head and he gave up, sitting there quietly through the entire service. He tried to grab my hand once when I started tearing a little bit, but I pulled away again. Fuck vulnerable moments, he didn't get to do this.

After the service Demi was talking with Marissa and Taylor and Dallas and everyone else who actually belonged there while I stood alone. Maddie had Frankie and Denise had everyone else's mothers to talk to and the boys were all scattered in their own groups and then there was me.

"Hey."

I didn't even turn around. "I can't talk with you right now."

"I know I was..." he searched for the word, but I had a good one.

"A dick?"

"Yeah," he drew in a deep breath and I could picture his nervous gestures behind me. "But-"

"Honestly, I'm not in a forgiving mood right now," I said as tears started coming down. Luckily he couldn't see my face or I'd be embarrassed. "You screwed me over, Nick. And you know how hard it is for me to trust you already not to break my heart because we've had the most unhealthy relationships in the past. I deserve better than that."

"I know you do," he agreed. "And-"

"Nick," I repeated.

He was quiet for awhile. "Fine," he finally sighed. "But I really am sorry. And I wish I could show you that."

Once I was sure he was gone I turned away running into the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. As I was sobbing all I could think of how much I wanted either Selena back or a good high. I couldn't deal with this.

When I heard the door open I silenced my gasps for air and stood there.

"Miley?"

"Hey, Dem," I bit my lip, talking through the wall. "You go back out I'll be there in a second, okay?"

"I'd rather wait in here," she said casually. "Take your time."

I desperately tried to stop the tears from coming down but they wouldn't stop flowing. "Please, Demi."

"It's okay," she promised.

"I want to be alone."

"Then go in the limo at least. This is so middle-class of you, hiding in a bathroom," she attempted to make a joke. I'll admit it did make me smile. "C'mon, Mi. Let's go in the limo. It's okay."

"I don't want you to see me like this."

"You've seen me so much worse," she reminded. "You need a friend."

I pressed toilet paper to my eyes but then just shaded my face with my hand as I stepped out. "Just let me clean myself up first."

"Miley," Demi pressed.

I ignored her, exiting the stall and grabbing a wet a paper towel while being sure she didn't see my face before I headed back towards the stall. Unexpectedly she grabbed my arm and the paper towel and gave me that sad look. "Let me do it."

"I'm fine."

"I never said you weren't," she reminded me, blotting my face. "But if you aren't, that'd be fine too. Not being fine is okay sometimes."

"I know that it's-"

"Demi – oh, sorry," Marissa and another girl rushed in after. "We'll just... yeah, come find us later."

"You can stay," I spoke up. Demi looked at me surprised.

"You don't have to-"

"They're your friends."

"Are you sure?" Marissa asked again. The two of use had crossed paths before, but we never really connected. She hated me and everyone but Demi realized it.

I grinned politely at her. "Yeah. It's okay. I think we were just gonna go back to the limo and talk."

"But we're getting her cleaned up first," Demi mumbled, wiping away smeared eyeliner and mascara. "Almost done... A few minutes... okay. Let's go, Mi."

"Should we..."

Demi looked to me and I shrugged. "I don't care who comes, but I can't go back in that church."

She led us all out to our limo and I climbed in first letting them all get in behind me. We sat in silence for a long time before finally Demi spoke up.

"Nick told me he talked to you."

I instantly pulled out my phone looking down at it. "Oh."

"It's okay to forgive him."

My lip started quivering again and I quickly covered it by resting my chin on my hand.

"All you're doing is torturing the both of you," she tried to get it through my head.

"I can't forgive him," I murmured. "He just... he left!"

Demi looked at Marissa who gave a small nod of encouragement. "I'm not justifying him or saying he's right, but he was in love with her Miley. It was probably hard-"

"Well she was your best friend, but did you decide to suddenly not be my best friend now because your other one..." I trailed off. I couldn't say it. "It's not fair."

"Everyone expresses pain differently," she whispered.

"Well his way sucks."

"But he's really sorry," she was trying to hide how she was growing frustrated. "He loves you, Mi, so just suck up your pride and forgive him."

"It's not that simple!" I snapped. "I just want him to not break my heart and to love me and to not hurt me and to finally decide who he loves more!" I cried, my mouth quivering. "I just want Selena back because she always knew what to do."

"If Selena were here she'd want you to be happy," Marissa speaks up for the first time. "The world knows Nick makes you happy."

"But he hurts me so much afterward. Every time."

"At least he's reliable," Demi murmured. Everyone looked at her and shot me an apologetic look. "Too soon. Sorry."

"Let's make it simple," Marissa took the initiative for her. "So, don't get mad 'cause Demi just tells me everything, but he proposed to you. Think back to before the surgery. If he had proposed out of the blue like that again, what would you have said? If you knew for sure you'd live?"

"I'd say yes," I shrugged. I didn't even have to think about it. I was going to tell him I'd be the luckiest girl in the world to marry him before everything happened.

"So, you love him. You'd take him as your husband, right?" she asked with a big smile. Maybe I read her wrong. Maybe she didn't hate me. She was one of the sweetest people I've ever met and the fact that she genuinely cared made me so happy. She reminded me of Demi in every which way. She leaned back, "I guess I'd say he's worth forgiving if you love him that much."

Demi held out her fist and Marissa softly bumped it.

"But... It just feels so wrong. Selena-"

"She'd want you to have him," Demi interrupted. "Miley, it was always you and Nick. Why are you doubting that?"

I looked down trying to come up with a few more excuses but I couldn't.

"At least hear him out."

"Okay," I sighed, slapping my hands to my thighs. "Where is he?"

"The limo a few cars down. He's moping too."

I nodded taking a deep breath and getting out starting to walk along the curb filled with limo's until I saw one that I vaguely recognized. I stared at it from behind a little bit but finally I opened the door, slipping in.

His eyes were closed but they quickly shot open at the sight of me. He rubbed them.

"Am I dreaming?"

I laughed. "Yes. I am Miley, I am your God. All hail."

That at least got a smile out of him and got rid of tension. "I already knew that."

"Good answer," I winked. I knew I had to be the confident one today. Because if I wasn't we wouldn't talk.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't want to be mad at you," I painfully confessed. Sucking up pride is the hardest thing. "But you hurt me, Nick."

"And if I could go back you know I would. I was such an asshole, Miley. It's just..."

"When you're upset you need someone to blame, I know. I know you, Nick, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating."

"I'm sorry, Angel, you have to believe that. I'm sorry... And-"

I shook my head. "Fuck it."

Then, I wrapped my arms around his neck and lunged at him. It was impulsive but at that moment impulsive was exactly what we needed. I kissed him before pulling away a little bit but he smiled, instantly pulling me back.

We kept deepening it until we both suddenly jumped when the door opened. We looked like deers caught in headlights. My face reddened when I saw the Jonas family peeking inside. I climbed off him and bit my lip. "I'll just um... Yeah, I was just leaving-"

"Oh, please stay," Paul laughed.

"Everybody loves making you two feel awkward. Old habits die hard," Joe said simply, sliding in the car beside me.

"I should really... Demi's waiting for me."

"Actually she told me to tell you you can come with us if you want," Dani grinned a little.

"This is really embarrassing," I muttered, giving in and sitting by the window.

Denise laughed heartily. "We've all gone through it, Honey."

"So, you guys talked then?"

Nick and I looked at each other and he nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we-"

"They definitely skipped that part," Kevin poked his fun.

I rested my head in my hands. "I can't believe you guys are doing this to me. You never did this to Demi!"

"You're family, Miley!" Paul chuckled. "Comes with the territory!"

"Now, you are going to come to dinner with us. No option."

I grinned. "Yes, Mrs. Jonas."

"Nick, I thought I told you to train her," she winked. "I never have been Mrs. Jonas to you and I never want to be."

"Yes, mom," I playfully rolled my eyes.

We drove making small talk for a little bit and I held Nick's hand the whole way there. On a sad day, I found happiness here. At the restaurant we walked in and Nick pulled out my chair for me. I sat there and he sat beside me, interlacing our hands again.

"How's Demi holding up?" Denise asked. "Joe never tells us anything."

"She's good," I smiled warmly. "Or, ya know, as good as she can be. Sel was like her sister, but... It could be worse, you know? At least she isn't shutting me out."

I smirked at Nick and he took a deep breath. "I said I was sorry."

"But that doesn't make it less fun bringing it up," I giggled.

"It's okay. For two days he cried because Selena died. Then the next three he cried because he realized he messed things up big time," Frankie informed me.

I bit my lip, placing my hand on his thigh. "Well, it was sad. But she's probably way happier now."

"Always Ms. Positive," Dani shook her head. "Miley, Nick really did miss you though. Should've seen him. It was borderline pathetic. I don't know how he pulled himself together for this."

Glancing at him out of the corner of my eye I laughed. He had that smile on that he did when he wanted to pretend to not be angry. He was getting pretty annoyed, though.

"It's alright," I murmured softly.

"At least your baby is here now," Joe cooed.

I looked around the table and wrinkled my eyebrows. "Speaking of, where's your baby?"

"Oh, she's here all right," Joe said. Everyone snapped their heads to look at him and put a hand his chest. "Right here. In my heart."

"That was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard in my life, Son," Paul said, pulling a laugh out of all of us.

"Ma'am, there's some girls over there," the waiter comes up to us apologetically. "They're asking for an autograph."

I looked over and sure enough there stood five six year olds and their parents. I sighed, getting up and politely excusing myself. Going over I hastily signed what they wanted before the last one grabbed my wrist timidly. "That guy told me to tell you that you're his Cinderella. And his My Girl. And that you should marry him."

Shocked I looked back at Nick but he was suddenly no where to be found. Neither were Joe and Frankie. The only people remaining at the table were Denise, Paul, Kevin, and Danielle.

"Thanks, Sweetie. Have a nice night, okay?"

I was beyond confused. Did Nick set this up? How did he know they'd ask for my autograph? I went back to the table and stared at them, waiting for an answer.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the restaurant is officially closed if you are not in the party of Jonas."

What? They rented the restaurant out? Looking around it was fairly empty, but still.

"What's going on?"

"Don't worry," Danielle grinned ear to ear.

"Dear Miley," A voice is suddenly sounding through the speakers. I look around and finally my eyes fix on the balcony as I grin at my little sister. "Nick told me to say nice things to you, but I don't want to. So, I'll just skip that part and start the story. Sorry, Nick... Anyway, once upon a time, there was the most perfect couple called Niley," she mocks the nickname. "They were clingy and fought too much but they really loved each other. They'd take walks every day. He'd be too cheesy for his own good and sing to her while they were on bikes."

Demi and Joe come out onto the stage as Joe began singing to her and I laugh. Her hair was in two pony tails and his was spiked up like it used to be. This clearly took a lot of thought. I looked at Nick, but his chair was still empty.

"They told the media they weren't in love, but no one believed them because they're bad liars." Joe and Demi kept acting it out rather poorly. I was laughing amused, but still quite confused at what was going on. "They were absolutely obsessed with each other. It was like a married couple," Noah rambled. "Then, one day, unexpectedly, they broke up.

Demi starts crying and runs to one side of the balcony while Joe stays in the other. He quickly begins singing When You Look Me in the Eyes and suddenly Demi joins with 7 Things.

"Their coping mechanisms were clearly different," Noah mumbled. "They were apart for almost two years. Nick told me to refer to them as 'The Dark Times'," I laughed. I was definitely the one who made that one up. "There were a lot of sad songs, then. But miraculously, they made things right some how."

Joe and Demi ran into each others arms, kissing.

"Then they lost someone special and Nick decided to be mean and hostile again," Noah said simply. Again, Joe and Demi break apart as he pretends to yell at her. I grin, looking at Denise who's focused on me.

"What's going on?" I quietly whispered.

"Excuse me, I'm telling a story, Miley," Noah interrupted before his mom could answer. "Anyway, now, through all the fights and screaming, he's still here... and miraculously we all stuck around through it too. So, there's one question left."

Joe gets down on one knee on stage, but he isn't looking at Demi. Everyone is looking at me.

"Will you marry me?"

I turned around and there was Nick Jonas, down on one knee and all. My eyes widen at what I stupidly didn't see coming and he raised his eyebrows. "Miley Ray? This is the second time I'm going through this, so-"

"You're insane," I laughed. "Oh, my... You're so insane."

He smiled fully with his teeth and cocked his head to the side. "That's a yes, huh?"

I leaned forward kissing him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "A million times, yes!"

When I pull apart his family is smiling and looking back a ways I see my family standing there too.

"Did everybody know about this?"

"No," Joe said simply, now back with the table.

"You didn't," Demi finished smiling.

Noah came up, patting me on the back and soon enough our families merged into one large group. I stayed with Nick but had so many questions. This must have taken so much planning.

"How did you know I'd come?" I asked incredulously.

"It's you," Nick said. "Demi and I had planned this all out for weeks."

"But how'd you know I'd forgive you?"

Demi laughed. "You two are too attached not to forgive each other."

"And you all knew about this all day and didn't tell me?"

"Shockingly," Noah muttered.

I turned to her. "And you didn't tell me?"

"I'm your sister, not your spy," she scoffed. "Where would the surprise be if you knew?"

"And you didn't think today is the least bit inappropriate?"

They all laughed nervously. Everyone knew that in a way this was completely inappropriate to do it all after a close friend's funeral, but at the same time all of us knew this was the first step to moving on.

"In the end, I love you, Miley Ray," Nick wrapped his arms around me, holding me as close to him as he could.

I looked up at him and suddenly it hit me. I was amazed as the past six years of my life hit me full force - as how far we'd come hit me full force. For the first time, as I finally let it all hit me, I finally realized that we were going to be alright, Nick and I. Because the point was, we always came back. And we always would. Because it's Nick and I.

"That is a yes, right?" Demi asked.

Everyone falls silent as I laugh, feeling Nick laugh as well. "Absolutely, yes."

I blame this shitty chapter on my mental status and the fact that I slowly and painfully wrote this over the span of 3 months. I just got out of the mentalll hospital, so yeah. There may or may not be an epilogue. And this may or may not be the last chapter. I'm really tired, so I'll stop rambling now. And I won't post my opinion of Miley's engagement. Alright, thank you for reading!(: