HERES AN EXTREMELY LONG CHAPTER FOR YOU SINCE I HAVENT UPSDATE IN FOREVER. SORRY GUYS! THANKS FOR BEING SO PATIENT. And leave all your reviews because in the next chapter im going to be doing shout outs! So tell me what you think, what needs improving, what you'd like to see happen, etc… thanks everybody

Chapter 19: Ending things

Mark went down to the cafeteria to burn off some steam after his big fight with Julia. He had to get away. Just for a few minutes he needed to be out of sight of everybody he knew so that he could feel normal again. Right now he felt like some kind of animal. He'd had a rough two days. And for some reason that little argument he had with Julia had really ticked him off. She was rude. She was inconsiderate. She'd made a mockery of a girl holding on for dear life after a double surgery.

Mark entered the line in the cafeteria and picked up a packaged turkey sandwich, a Caesar salad and another cup of coffee. He felt awkward in the situation. He moved to a vacant table feeling extremely paranoid…Like eyes were on him. Eyes of people he knew, people he worked with….Silently judging him on rumors they'd probably heard in the past 30 some hours. His emotions and thoughts were out of whack. He felt like he was turning into a crazy person. And maybe he was. He devoured his entire lunch in the matter of minutes and chugged the lukewarm coffee to get a buzz of much needed energy. Then after taking a breather he stood up with the tray full of empty wrappers and dumped it out in the trash can. He'd been pondering this whole situation. The whole Lexie or Julia thing. Should he stay with Julia and potentially be happy with the rest of his life or should he try things with Lexie again. After all he still loved her and always would love her. Would that be enough? Or would something go wrong again just ending up in the termination of their relationship again? If that did happen then he would've lost Julia for no reason.

As Mark subconsciously began walking back upstairs a familiar voice screamed his name and woke him up from his daydreaming state. "Mark! I just heard about what happened between you and Julia from Derek! I'm so sorry. Are you alright? Callie Torres asked in a worried and inquiring voice.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Julia was the least of my worries right now," He set it straight; "I'm focusing on Lexie. Julia's petty problems will have to come later,"

"Well…Don't take it too hard on her. I mean she was just mad. You beat up three guys the last time you got mad." Callie announced.

"Don't try to defend her," Mark butted in, "She insinuated that Lexie was a whore while Lexie is in the hospital near death. Only a heartless bitch would do that. I beat up three guys to defend Lexie not to make fun of her,"

Callie took that into consideration and as Mark began to walk away from her she followed him like a wild, raving fan. "Then what are you gonna do about it? You have to handle this so that it doesn't blow over like the last fight you were in. You nearly ended up in jail."

"I'm ending things," He replied immediately, not hesitating for one second.

Callie was blindsided. It wasn't like it should be that shocking to her but for some reason it kind of was surprising. She thought Mark was sensible enough to not jump at the first thought of things. Perhaps she'd overestimated him. But it was Lexie they were talking about. And she understood how awful it must feel to see her hurt like that. She felt sympathy for them both. She really did, but she just didn't know if this was the right move for them. She honestly wished that they could end up happily ever after but relationships aren't that simple. Sometimes it's possible that two people could love each other so much, more than you can even imagine, and still not work out and get that fairytale ending. That was kind of how Lexie and Mark were. She didn't want Mark wasting more time trying to make things with her go overly smoothly if it was all for nothing.

"Mark you're positive on this? Like a hundred percent positive this is what you want? Have you even thought this over?" Callie poked at him.

"I've thought enough to realize that I'm a fool for wanting to let Lexie go. She told me she loves me. That's enough for me. I'm in love with her too. Say I'm crazy, go ahead. Because I know I'm crazy enough to give this another try." Mark fired back and begun trotting up the stairs, ahead of Callie.

"But you love Julia too!" Callie tried to convince.

"Not enough to pass up Lexie for her," Mark balled up his fists as he gave his answer.

"Mark," Callie grabbed his shoulders, whirled him around and stopped him, "Now you're absolutely sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure in my life," Mark got the message out loud and clear. "Don't worry about me Callie. I'll be fine. And I'll be sure to let her down easy. I still like her. I don't want to hurt her in any way."

"I know Mark. You're a big softy," Callie playful pushed him.

"Hey," Mark laughed.

"Go! Go! What're you waiting for?" Callie now laughed and pushed him again.

"Oh right! Thanks Cal!" Mark gave her a thumbs up as he ran in the other direction to find Derek so that he could get his cell phone back and locate Julia.

Lexie awoke again from her peaceful nap and immediately remembered falling asleep in the arms of Mark Sloan. The thought automatically brought a smile to her face. She turned over to reach for him but was disappointed when her hand only brushed over the soft top of the hospital sheets. She opened her eyes but it was useless. She was still blind as a bat. She could barely even make out shapes and colors. She really hoped that everything between her and Mark hadn't just been some weird tripped out dream. She seriously doubted that though. It was all too real. And she remembered seeing him multiple times. This was reality, and in reality…She almost died and may be permanently blinded because of it. Lexie sat up in bed and called out Mark's name to see if he was still in the room somewhere but she was startled when the voice of a different man answered in return.

"Sorry to disappoint but it's just me,"

"Oh Jackson. " Lexie jumped a little then sighed at the recognition of the mysterious voice, "You scared me. And it's not a disappointment. I'm very glad to see you…Well not see…I guess…Well it's good to hear you,"

Jackson gave a half grin and continued to tap his fingers together in a nervous way. "So you haven't seen Mark?" Lexie finally asked.

"No, sorry. He wasn't here when I arrived. And Meredith and Derek ran off as soon as I showed up. Mer had o take Zola home and Derek needed some sleep. I was coming to see you anyways so I offered to stay on watch duty. April was the one who told me last night. I couldn't believe it. I was going to come right then and there but she said you'd be in surgery for a while after she got the page that you'd coded. I should've come anyways," Jackson talked nervously, sounding a bit like Lexie as he began to ramble.

"That's okay. I probably wouldn't have been much company being all comatose and such," Lexie said humorously. Jackson gave a small cackle of laughter as he heard Lexie laugh. It was good that even after all this she was already back to joking around.

"I broke you a get well balloon. Now that I think about it, it probably wasn't such a good gift since you can't really see." Jackson informed.

"Well I appreciate the gesture anyways," Lexie smiled. "You seem far away. I can only tell because your voice seems move distant. Come closer, its okay. I don't have too many cooties and even if I bite you're conveniently located in a hospital where you can get your tetanus shot,"

Jackson let out another laugh. Even on the brink of death she can crack a good joke, Jackson silently thought. "I'm sorry, I was just feeling a little uncomfortable being that…Uh…You know,"

Lexie immediately connecting that he was referring to their now ex relationship status, "Agreed," She commented.

"So um how'd this all happen. April's game of telephone wasn't quite explanatory enough. She said your Dad hit you? With a glass bottle?" Jackson started a new conversation.

"Yes and kicked me. He was drunk after a streak of being sober." Lexie minimally expanded the story.

"Man, that's just unbelievable. I can't even imagine something like that…." Jackson started as he moved his chair closer to Lexie's bed and then re-seated himself, "I'm really sorry about all of this. I hope everything turns out well,"

"Thanks Jackson,"

Jackson stared into Lexie's vacant brown eyes for a moment and then cleared his throat, "Just so we're clear….Even though we're broken up I just want you to know that I still care about you. And I'll always be here for you whenever you need me. Don't hold back. If you need something just ask. I'm here to help because I want to see you get better more than anything,"

"I know Jackson. You're a great guy. Honestly I think you might be the greatest guy that I know and that I've been granted the pleasure of meeting. I wish things had worked out between us its just that…Maybe you were too good of a guy for me. I've been hurt and I've been with not so great guys so that's what im used to. That's what I know. So when you came along I just….i don't think I knew what to do with such an amazing guy," Lexie took her turn rambling.

"I get that you love Sloan, Lexie. I really do. You don't have to try and hide that anymore. He was your first love and he'll probably be your last love. You don't have to deny it." Jackson assured unenthusiastically.

Lexie didn't respond from her embarrassment. She knew Jackson was right. Why was she always trying to hide it anyways? Maybe deep down inside she thought mark would be better off with another girl, even though the sight of it always hurt her.

Jackson abruptly rose from his chair and rubbed his hands together, "Well the best way to start your healing process is with rest, lots and lots of rest."

Lexie gave him a smile and then laid her head back down. Jackson walked right up to Lexie's bed this time and fluffed her pillow, then tucked her under the sheets and gave her a small kiss on the forhead, "Sleep tight,"

"Jackson wait," Lexie grabbed his arm, "I'm sorry….That things didn't work out between us…I really wanted it to. I liked you a lot. I just….My mind…It's clouded…By Mark."

Jackson kneeled down and let his chin rest on the bed and said, "I know. It's not your fault. You don't need to apologize. Besides, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Now that we're broken up maybe we could just go back to the way we were before. Friends. Maybe even best friends. Cause I could use a good friend,"

Lexie's eyes were closed now as she began to drift, but she bit her lip and nodded with a smile, "I'd like that,"

"Good," Jackson replied back, "Because Alex sucks, Meredith and Derek barely acknowledge my presence and always hog Zola and April can get annoying sometimes even if she's one of my best friends,"

They laughed together one last time before Lexie fell back asleep

Derek had left Lexie's room when Jackson showed up. Meredith had gone to take Zola home so they could both get some more sleep and so Derek decided that's what he needed to do as well. He wanted to remain close to Lexie in case of any emergencies so he ventured down the hall to the nearest on-call room. The place where surgeons came to sleep ….Or do other things involving a bed.

Derek felt like crap. His head pounded, his eyes would barely stay open and every muscles in his body ached. He'd been on his feet for two days straight and it had finally caught up to him. He needed at least an hour of rest. He was so ready for this power nap.

He opened the door to the room and flipped on the light switch. Very much to his surprise he spotted Julia. She was sitting on the floor next to the bed, hunched over and curled up into a little ball while she wept.

"Julia…What're you?" Derek began to question, his body just wanting to flop down in to the bed.

"I'm sorry Derek. You must be exhausted. I'll leave," Julia spoke through her tears and began to stand up,

"Nnnnnnnno,"Derek waved his hand for her to stay put, "It's okay. Tell me what's going on first. This is about Mark? Have you straightened things out yet?"

"No. I haven't even talked to him yet. He wouldn't answer his phone again," Julia began to cry again.

"Oops," Derek remembered, "That's probably because I have his phone," He reached into the pocket on his white jacket and held it in the air for her to see.

"I was such an idiot today Derek," She confessed, "I feel like a total jerk. I don't know what's gotten into me. Now that I've let myself get all my emotions out I feel so much better. I'm not even mad any more. I'm actually more upset with myself than anything. I didn't even ask if Lexie was alright. Gosh,"

"She's doing fine. She suffered trauma to the head though….It resulted in loss of vision. I'm hoping that's only temporary though," Derek informed.

"Oh no. That's awful." Julia said, actually seeming devastated, "How do I make this better Derek?"

"Well you can start by talking to mark and telling him the things you just told me. I…I can go find him for you," Derek said, regrettably because he knew now that it would cut into his sleep time. "I'll convince him to see you. Just stay put here and I'll direct him to you,"

"Geez Derek, you're a life saver," Julia smiled and jumped up to hug him

"I sure hope so," Derek said, thinking of Lexie, into her shoulder.

Mark was looking back and forth and up and down for any sight of either Derek, Meredith or Julia herself. He should've just asked Callie to borrow her cell. God was his mind really that messed up from all this that he couldn't even think of something as simple as that?

Just as Mark was passing the restrooms that were approximately three doors down from Lexie's room Derek appeared from the crowd and pulled Mark aside.

"Hey Mark," Derek started.

"You got my cell phone?" Mark avoiding him and asked while pointing at Derek's pocket. Derek reached in and handed it to him.

"So listen," He tried to star again.

"Sorry Derek I really need to find Julia," Mark explained.

"Oh but that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I just saw Julia she's in the on-call room at the end of the hallway. She's intruding on my sleeping time. So can you please go talk to her so I can get in there and close my eyes for five minutes?" Derek informed.

"Ok thanks Derek. I'll do so," Mark began to run away.

"But wait Mark!" Derek tried to call after him, but he was already gone.