21 Ways to become Elena Gilbert or how to be the perfect damsel in distress
Yeah I know, this is not the second part of the Dreamland series, but after the last TVD episode I simply had to rant a bit. There is more where that came from so tell me what you think.
1) Forgive everybody everything as long as you want them in your pants.
2) Forgive everybody everything as long as you feel somehow sympathetic to them.
3) Forgive everybody everything so that you will never end up alone, especially if nearly everybody of your friends already killed someone.
4) Act like you are the center of the world and everything revolves around you.
5) Never question where the money of your suitors comes from.
6) Treat your younger siblings as though they are still in preschool even if the age difference between you is so small that you probably don't even remember a time when they were not around.
7) Enforce your own will on your younger siblings and act as though it's a big sacrifice for you.
8) Have an evil 500 year old vampire doppelganger that is the quintessence of the manipulative seducer even if she could get what she wants much faster by pure violence.
9) Have a martyrdom complex and have self-sacrifice as your only way to power.
10) Act like you work out but never gain any muscle or even definition and then apply point 9.
11) Find the secret to be totally popular despite doing nothing for it and basically retreating from social contact with any sort of normal person.
12) Date blood-sucking junkies and impulsive serial killers and be totally shocked if people drop dead left and right when they are around.
13) Date two vampires at the same time, but only if they fall under the people described in point 12.
14) Glorify your parents and have an aunt that has practically no parenting skills whatsoever.
15) Never date anybody that is not white.
16) Never actually be in love with anybody who does not fall under point 12 and should they not, dump them the next best chance you get.
17) Once one of your suitors is in danger immediately abandon the best plan to save them.
18) Be in mortal danger at least every second day.
19) Act like you know everything better and only learn from your mistakes at a snail's pace.
20) Be completely oblivious to the world outside your small US-American town.
21) Do not know yourself but act as though you know everything.