Tuesday 5th March
Today has been… eventful! Started the day feeling like crap then to make things worse I go to form and find out that we are doing a careers day on Friday and none of my friends are in my group! Any way I tried to take my mind of that as I had maths first, I did the work then found out that on Monday we will be doing a test! Then it was German which I got homework in. Then came the big one, music! As always the lesson took a little while to get going, the teacher set us work on the computers but I had done it all last lesson so sat doing nothing apart from thinking, thinking if I should tell people my secrets of cutting and my friends secrets of what the man did to her. I placed my head in my hands and continued to think but thinking wasn't doing me any good because I soon started crying. I hoped no one had noticed but the girl who I was working with did and alerted JM who is keeping the secret of cutting and being raped from everyone, she came over and took me out of the class. I slumped down the wall in tears, shaking and my friend sat on the floor next to me asking what was wrong. I told her I was stressed and hoped she would ask me no more questions which she didn't. After a few minutes the teacher popped his head around the door and asked if I was okay so I nodded and told him again I was stressed, he brought me back in to the class and told everyone to turn off the computers while I sat on the desk staring out of the window as a few more tears fell. My other friend LA come over and I just grabbed her and hugged her tight then she asked what was wrong and I said stress. The bell went and I sat in the canteen in silence apart from listening to music through my headphones. MY friend ED was trying to get me, LA and JM to talk but we wouldn't, we were all in a bed mood and worried for each other. Diner ended fast and I had history which was a busy lesson but I only spoke once when one of the 'populars' surprisingly asked if I was okay to which I said yes and the lesson passed. On my way to science my other friend AA fell out with me for no reason what is apparent to me. Science was all GCSE work because we have done all of the year 9 work and I got sent out twice to do the teacher jobs which was good for me to clear my mind I suppose. The lesson ended and I went to form to get my coat but the door was locked and I couldn't be bothered to wait and my 'friend' AA had gone after falling out with me so I had no one to walk to the public service bus stop with me, the school bus was still there though so I jumped on and LA was on it so we had a little chat and both got off at the same stop (our little sisters primary school) then I walked home with my little sister and step-dad. I told him about JM harming and being raped just to warn him that the police might phone home now they are involved and may need me to tell them what JM has told me. I told my mum the same when I got home and they didn't take it bad at all luckily. But now I sit on my bed in a crappy mood hoping that Holby City will cheer me up but knowing if it doesn't I may end up looking, toughing and using that sharp tool.