Chapter 23 - The Switch
Loki woke with a nervous energy settling over his skin. He glanced towards the window, noticing how it was already after noon, and turned over to see Tony still asleep beside him. All negative emotions fled as he looked at Tony, pleasure filling him instead.
"Morning Loki," Tony murmured, eyes still closed.
"Morning love."
Tony opened bleary eyes, turning a smile on Loki, shifting to hook an arm around his partner.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Fairly well, except your phone has been going off all night. Pepper must be a wreck. She even called my phone once."
Tony heaved a sigh.
"I suppose we did sleep in a bit late, and I told her we'd be in first thing since we missed last nights plane." the thought had a gleam in his eyes and Tony sent a sly smile Loki's way. Loki just gave a soft laugh, getting up to stretch, completely naked, before heading to the bathroom.
"I'm going to shower. The sooner we leave the sooner she gets to shout at you and get this whole thing over with."
Tony chuckled, getting out of bed as well.
"Can I join you?" he called, listening as Loki turned on the water.
"Of course. Waters hot."
Without preamble, Tony followed Loki's path, stepping into the shower with him, nearly scalding water hitting his skin.
"I always feel like you should be burnt by water this hot." Tony noted, getting his hair wet, eyes on Loki.
"My skin cools the water down even as it hits my skin. So it's quite a bit cooler to me."
Tony rolled his eyes, having heard the explanation before.
"I still think it's weird." he said as he turned to grab shampoo. Loki shrugged, reaching for the soap, freezing mid action. The nervous feeling that he'd felt when he'd woken had returned, but this time with the pain of something pressing in on his mind; bringing a wealth of possibilities for the future; most of which held terrifying endings. He didn't say a word, sifting through the different threads, searching for the one the most likely, unsure of what he was seeing or how he was seeing it.
"We really don't have to rush going back. I'm hungry. I think we should get food first. Are you hungry?"
Loki nodded his assent, though most of his mind was elsewhere. "We should still get back though, Pepper is worried about you."
Tony frowned a bit at the absent tone and the words of worry.
"We can get food on the plane." he paused, switching the shampoo for soap, "You seem awfully worried about Pepper."
Loki felt the pressure growing but ignored it and brought himself back to focus on Tony, already terrified by the possibilities his mind was presenting him with.
"I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about you. I don't want you in any more trouble."
Tony shook his head, rinsing soap off.
"Don't worry. She's mad at me all the time. There's no reason to worry. In fact a lot of people are mad at me a lot of the time, and I don't worry about it so you shouldn't either."
"I can't help it," Loki said with a shrug, and Tony found his own spike of worry taking hold.
"Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine." Loki said, but the reassuring smile he gave Tony was sadder than it should've been.
"Really, Pepper is nothing to worry about, she gets angry all the time. It's fine. It's how she expresses worry."
Loki just gave an ambiguous hum and Tony found himself frowning.
"You're worrying me," he admitted, reaching past him to turn off the water, and Loki nearly winced.
"Sorry love, don't mean to."
"Sorry?" not liking the sound of the apology, Tony stepped out, offering Loki a towel. "Come here," but instead of moving to him, Loki took the towel, wrapping it around his hips. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" Tony asked, unsure of where this mood had gone from or how to help get rid of it, but his offer got a sharp reply.
"No, don't go."
"Okay, is there something you want? Need? Anything?" Tony asked, feeling at a loss, and Loki just shook his head, suddenly stepping forward and hugging him tightly. Shocked, Tony froze for a second before returning the tight embrace.
"If there's something wrong, I want to help you."
Loki closed his eyes, already beginning to feel the change – knowing what was coming.
"It's hard to explain."
Tony's alarm was immediate and he leaned back to search Loki's eyes for a clue of what was happening.
"I'm here. We're here. Nothing bad can happen to you."
Loki grimaced, pressing his hands to his temples. "It isn't me I'm worried about."
Tony took Loki's hands in his, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "Tell me how to help," he asked, nearly desperately, but Loki just turned a look of horror on him, as everything in his mind slid into place.
"It's you. You're in trouble." he raced by, yanking on clothes, leaving Tony shocked once again.
"What? Where are you going?" he asked, hurrying after, following suit and pulling clothes on. "What do you mean, I'm in trouble? What are you doing?"
"You're going back to New York. Now." Loki said, evading the question, already beginning to feel the beginning of the change.
"Are you coming with me? Tell me what's going on." Tony demanded, though he couldn't bring himself to be angry yet, only worried.
"I can't come, but you have to go." Loki said firmly, but Tony balked.
"Wait, what? You're not coming? What if I said I wouldn't go without you?"
Loki spun back, a fierce expression on his face. "I can't. And you don't have a choice. Call and get the plane here now." not used to seeing Loki this bent on something, Tony had the phone dialling against his ear in seconds.
"Why won't you at least tell me why you can't come?" he watched Loki do up the last of the buttons of his shirt, his expression grim. "You're scaring me." Tony admitted, but Loki didn't respond immediately, instead he began to flicker; as if he was only an illusion, and he doubled over in sudden pain.
"Good," he managed to say through gritted teeth. "I'm glad you're scared. Scared will keep you safer. Is the plane coming?"
"Loki!" Tony jumped forward, catching Loki as he nearly collapsed from some invisible source of pain, watching as Loki's image flickered in his arms, though his weight never shifted. "This scared means worried. I'm scared for you, what's going on?" he said, looking into Loki's eyes, watching the crystal blue eyes he'd grown so accustomed to, flicker. The image shifts, from plain clothes, to the godly armour, then back again.
"Go to the plane. Go now. Don't be worried about me, be worried about you."
Tony merely glared. "How am I supposed to not be worried by the fact that you're literally fading from me?" Tony demanded, "You won't tell me what trouble I'm in, I don't know what I'm supposed to be scared of, and here you are, in pain, and changing, disappearing from my arms. How can I not be worried?"
Loki turned suddenly, cupping Tony's face in his hands, blue eyes pained. "I love you." he paused, as if those words were the gravest words he'd ever uttered, "Go out to the plane now. Please just go. I'll meet you in New York if I can."
"I love you too," Tony replied, panic filling his chest, "I'll go to the plane, and I'll wait in New York for you, but you sure as hell better be there. You better promise me you aren't giving me some sort of half-assed goodbye and that I'll see you again. Then I'll get on the plane."
Loki shook his head, image flickering again, and now his actual mass flickering out as well. "I can't promise that. But I'll do my best. I can promise that much."
"That's not good enough," Tony growled, and glanced over his shoulder at the jet, waiting on his personal runway. "Promise that I don't have to worry about you. Tell me to take care of myself and tell me that you're going to be okay. Promise you'll meet me in New York. I am not leaving until I hear those words from you," Tony said stubbornly.
Without warning, Loki kisses him, quickly but deeply, before pushing Tony towards the door.
"This is one of the times you just have to trust me, okay? Please just trust me."
"Then promise this isn't the last time I'm going to see you," Tony repeated, knowing somehow that this moment was possibly a goodbye, and knowing he wouldn't be able to cope if it was.
"It won't be." Loki said, but the words sounded defeated. His image flickered again, and he supported himself on the edge of the bed.
"It better not be." he said, voice rough with emotion. "I can't leave you here, Loki, not like this. You aren't well. Come back with me."
Face drawn and pale from the pain, Loki's image flickered more violently, appearance completely changing for a full moment before switching back.
"Please Tony. You have to go. I'm begging you. Go. Stay safe. Gather your band of heroes because you'll need them." he doubles over again, the flickering stronger before it suddenly stops completely and Loki straightens in full body armour, green eyes sharp. "Go."
with that final command, no longer gentle, or pleading, but nearly cruel, he disappeared, and Tony was left staring at the spot he'd last been. It had been off, and Tony's stomach dropped. Something was horribly wrong, and part of that wrongness had effected Loki.
"You better come back, or I'll come looking, and die trying if I have to." he said darkly, but his emotion spilled through. He hoped Loki was alright, but already knew that he wasn't. Running outside, he boarded the plane, looking back out the window to the house he'd spent the weekend in with Loki. No, Loki was in trouble, and he was determined to help him.