Konan found me awake when she came to my room in the morning. The room had no windows but it did have a large clock. It was 9.01am. There was also a bookcase and even though I couldn't read the damn things, I had fun looking at the illustrations and trying to guess what the stories were about. I was at the point in one where the ninja female (with huge knockers) was standing on a bridge beneath a full moon. In the distance, hidden in the foliage was her lover who looked very dead (but artistically so I might add). Konan cleared her throat and I closed the book and dropped it on the bed.

'Are you ready to leave?' I asked getting to my feet. 'I need shoes by the way.'

She nodded and went over to one of the cupboards I had completely ignored. Opening it she pulled out a pair of soft fuzzy white slippers that looked way too big for my feet. I didn't even bother protesting, I just put them on.

'You don't talk much do you?' I asked

'I don't speak when I have nothing to say. You should try it sometime.' She said but while her voice was dry her face curved in a smirk.

'Yeah, well. I tried once and people begged me to stop...said something about it being a sign of the apocalypse or something.'

'Here.' She said handing me a small glass bottle with tiny white pills in it.

'What's this?'I asked shaking the bottle slightly.

'Kunoichi pills... You don't know what they are?'

'Well, no. I've never seen them before. What do they do?'

She eyed me speculatively, 'Kunoichi use them to stop their menstrual cycle. It's used traditionally to avoid complications when going on long term missions but many women use it regularly now.'

'Wow, I always wondered how that worked. That's pretty cool. Is it like birth control then?'

'No. Since you've never taken it before, you'll need to take it twice a day till the day your cycle is supposed to start and then once a day for its duration. After this month is over, you'll need to take one pill a day everyday afterward. Any questions?'

'Yeah, any side effects?'

'We should leave now.' She said going over to the door and opening it.

'Wait, is that a yes or a no? Konan...?'

Shopping with Konan: by far the most fun I'd had since I'd gotten there. I would love to say that we became the best of friends and bonded and all that shit but that would be a lie. She did warm up to me though and made jokes (usually at my expense but no complaints). It was like going shopping with your much cooler, pain in the ass older sister who didn't necessarily like you. The morning was bright and shiny and not raining. Konan told me that the rain would start right after lunch so we only had about three hours before it started. She was a brisk walker and I spent a lot of time catching up to her. She fed me though and for that alone, I would forgive her anything. We had hot, sweet, rice porridge at a little stall not far from the tower.

Our first stop was a large shoe store that seemed to specialise in ninja shoe ware. While I wandered around looking at the variety, Konan spoke to the salesman at the counter. Ninja sandals were awesome. Most came with hidden compartments and detachable straps (for strangling enemies?), while others had hidden weapons in the sole. I was examining one that had a stiletto (the knife as well as the heel) when Konan grabbed me by the arm and sat me down on one of the stools. The small, wrinkled owner came over and began to measure my feet. I spent several minutes squirming and giggling. I have very ticklish feet. The store clerk was not amused. Konan ended up purchasing the stilettos I had been looking at. I ended up leaving in my fuzzy while slippers.

Next we went to clothing store. Again it seemed to specialise in the more form fitting outfits kunoichi seemed to favour. I took the lead on this one because there was no way I would ever wear anything with that much fishnet and heavy spandex.

'Konan, what do you mean you don't know what a bra is? A bra... that thing women wear to keep rebellious boobies in line?' Her look said it all. 'Fine, I'll show you. Let's go to the dressing room.'

5 minutes later.

'It is quite ingenious but it doesn't look particularly sturdy. Where would you attach weapons to that?'

'It doesn't look sturdy because this is a date bra, its supposed to look flimsy and easily pulled off but there are sports bras and bras you wear to school and ...'

'That doesn't make sense. Why use all of those when netting and wrapping works equally as well in all of those situations.'

'But the support...'

'Is just fine for all but the heaviest of bosoms. And furthermore, those straps look extremely uncomfortable.' She reached out pulled one of the shoulder straps and let it go.

'Ow! Geez, we'll agree to disagree.'

The end of all this was that I decided to take very good care of the only bra in the ninja universe and Konan bought me a set of spandex halters, fishnet and wrappings. I also got five new sets of clothes ranging from bright blue to kazekage red. If I had left it to Konan, those outfits would have consisted solely of short skirts, shorts and halters. As it was, 3 of the 5 included capris and tshirts which I had found in the men's section. There were no long pants. Konan got two sets of new clothes; one in a deep blue and another in royal purple.

We went to a few more places before we returned the shoe store to collect my new sandals. As I slipped them on I breathed a sigh of relief and comfort. The shoe was closed except for openings at the toe and heel and small flower shaped holes on the upper. It was calf high and had a very sturdy looking zipper at the back. I marvelled at the silence when I pulled them on and zipped it up. I stood, walked, jumped and did a slightly sloppy, if high, front kick. They were divine.

The sky had darkened visibly by the time we got back. Konan was holding all of the bags, including the takeout as we made our way upstairs. We stopped at my door.

'Erica, press your ear to the door...no, the other one.'

'Why? What am I listening for?' As I asked, the door slid open and I fell forward. 'Ow. You really hate me don't you?'

'Hush. Where do you want these?' she asked. I gestured to the bed and she dropped them without hesitation. She seemed more relaxed than I had ever seen her. I yawned. Shopping had taken a lot out of me and I was starving. Outside, I could hear a dull roar that must be the sound of Amegakure rain.

'Come.' She said.

We made our way to the large semi circular living room at the end of the hall. She put on the lights and the room transformed from dark and stormy to warm and inviting. Like Pein's office upstairs, the walls were glass all the way around. The decor was a mix of red and white with dark marble (?) counters in the kitchen section.

'Sit.' She said. I sat.

I had spent the day learning about Konan and I'd learned that one word meant do it or else. If you didn't, she would either ignore you and do what she wanted or she would make you do what she said. Not pleasant. I wiggled in the high stool feeling weird that my feet couldn't touch the floor. She took out two bowls and filled it with a selection from the takeout boxes (I had selected all of the dishes). Handing me a bowl, she leaned against the counter almost opposite to me. The smell made my mouth water.

'Is some of that for me?' came a voice from behind me. I started and almost toppled the stool. Kisame only laughed at me and made his way over to inspect the food.

'Of course. The box in the fridge is for Pein sama but you can have anything on the counter.'

'Does that include her?' he asked, winking at me. Ew!

Konan smirked. 'No, I don't recommend that.'

He smirked at me this time and set about piling food into a bowl, literally. It looked like the leaning tower of Pisa by the time he was done. Then he dug in and in moments it was over.

'Wow.' I said taking a bite of squid tempura. He was about to say something lecherous, no doubt when...

'Sempaii!'

'Holy shit!' I yelled and this time I did fall off the stool. Even though the floor was carpeted, it was still fricking hard. 'Ow.'

'Where's sempai, Konan san? Tobi came back today but Sempai was not in his room and Itachi san tried to kill Tobi when he asked him where Sempai was, how was Tobi supposed to know that Itachi san was in the shower?, Kisame san, have you seen Sempai? And who is this?' he asked.

I had been snickering quietly at the whole Itachi thing when Tobi aka Madara stuck his masked face right in front of mine where I sat on the floor. Holy shit, Madara was big. I found my eyes drawn to the hole in his mask before I let myself do what my body was screaming to do. I screamed and began to kick my feet wildly.

'Get the hell away from me you creep!'

'Ahhh! Umph.' He yelled.

'Ahhh! Ouch!' I yelled scrambling up and hitting my head on the underside of the counter. 'Fuck! What the hell? Don't just jump on people like that! What kind of pervert are you anyway?'

He was sitting on the floor rubbing his...stomach (what were you thinking you perve?). 'Tobi is not a pervert...Tobi just wanted to know where his sempai is?' he said jumping to his feet and then jumping behind Kisame. 'Tobi is not a pervert! Tobi is a good boy.'

'That's what they all say. It's always the quiet, well, the unassuming ones you have to look out for. For all we know you could be one of those sex fiends who steal women's underwear and peek at them in the bath.'

'Tobi does not...'

'Ah but you do. Just ask Itachi...'

'Ask me what?'

Walking into the kitchen was a freshly showered Uchiha, hair wet but combed and clinging just a little to his face. I Pushed myself to my feet and brushed rice off my Tshirt.

'The girl just accused Tobi of being a pervert who looks at people in the bath,' Kisame said when it became clear that I was speechless. (His smile was wide as great whites) 'She was about to use you as an example when you appeared.'

'Hn. Is there more?' He asked gesturing to the food.

'Help yourself, just leave the container in the fridge.' Konan replied.

He nodded and took a clean bowl from the cupboard and began to fill it.

Still smirking, Kisame stretched 'Thanks for the food.' And walked off down the corridor. I watched him go and noticed for the first time that he wasn't wearing his cloak. Tobi looked after the mist nin before turning his attention back to me.

'Tobi is not a pervert! Tobi is a good boy and girl chan should apologise for saying mean things like that!'

'I am not saying mean things about you. I merely said that jumping on recumbent people like that can be considered the act of a perverted and depraved mind is all.'

Turning my back on him I hopped back unto my stool and continued eating my food. I noticed that several pieces of my tempura were missing. I looked at Konan whose mouth looked a tad bit too shiny before sighing and reaching for the carton.

'Tobi, Deidara was sent on a mission early this morning. He will not be back for several weeks.' Konan said.

'But Tobi is Deidara Sempai's partner, shouldn't Tobi have gone with him?'

I jumped again and would have fallen if Tobi hadn't been right freaking behind me.

'No. This was something for him to do alone. You will be assigned a mission beginning tomorrow morning.'

'Hai, Konan san.'

Three things happened at once then. One, Tobi yelled BYE! At the top of his lungs, I saw Konan's eyes widen and my stool was pulled from under me. I fell. The bowl of rice, vegetables, tempura and spicy squid fell too and ended up scattered across my chest and face. I lay there stunned and unmoving for several seconds before a red faced, snickering Konan came and pulled me off the floor.

'That was really mean of him.' I said shaking rice out of hair.

'Well, I suppose. Maybe he didn't like being called a pervert.' She was almost chuckling now.

'Well I guess not.' I said quietly. I hurried to my room to clean up.

After a long hot shower I changed into a comfy pair of capris and a tshirt before lying down to sleep.