GamzeeKarkat, First person perspective
CG: HEY FUCKNUTS.
CG: I'M COMING INTO TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND.
CG: BOTH JADE AND I ARE.
CG: DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP BAKING FOR A BRIEF MOMENT IN TIME TO COME HANG OUT WITH ME?
CG: I KNOW YOU CAN READ, GAMZEE.
CG: YOU FUCKING CLOWN, ANSWER MY GOGDAMN TEXTS.
CG: I KNOW YOU ARE DOING THIS TO PISS ME OFF. I KNOW THOSE PANTS ARE BAGGY ENOUGH TO CARRY YOUR PHONE AND AN ENTIRE PICNIC BASKET SO IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE ON YOU.
CG: FUCK. WHY DO I EVEN TRY? IT WAS EASIER TO GET JADE TO GO FLUSHED FOR ME THAN IT IS TO HAVE A FUCKING PALE DATE WITH YOU.
CG: FUCK YOU, GAMZEE. FUCK YOU.
TC: sOrRy PaLe BrO.
TC: ThIs SwEeT cOnFeCtIoNeRy SiStEr GoDdEsS wAs ShOwInG tHiS bRoThEr SoMe WiCkEd FlAvOrS.
TC: i'D lOvE a MoThErFuCkInG pAlE gEtTiNg On WiTh YoU. sO mUcH sTuFf To TeLl YoU, bRo.
TC: We CaN uP aNd HaVe A fEeLiNgS jAm If YoU wAnT.
TC: oR mAyBe YoU nEeD sOmE wIcKeD sHoOsH pApS tO gEt YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg DoWn AbOuT sOmEtHiNg.
TC: ThOuGh YoU hAvE tHe wIcKeDeSt ShOoSh PaPs.
CG: I SWEAR IF YOU CALL MY PAPS ANYTHING RESEMBLING A SURPRISING EVENT THAT IS NOT EXPLICABLE BY NATURAL OR FUCKING SCIENTIFIC LAWS AND IS REMOTELY CONSIDERED TO BE FUCKING DIVINE I WILL FUCKING PAP YOU INTO A MUTE BLOB OF JELLY TOO SHOOSHED TO EVEN BE SPREAD ONTO A FUCKING PIECE OF TOAST. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
TC: LoUd AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ClEaR, pAlE bRo. I gOt YoUr WoRdS aLl Up In My ThInK pAn RaTtLiNg ArOuNd A wHoLe HeAp Of MoThErFuCkInG uNdErStAnDiNg.
CG: HOLY SHIT. I'M ABOUT TO CALL THIS MOMENT ONE OF THOSE FUCKING INEXPLICABLE EVENTS.
CG: I WON'T BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING RETARDED HYPOCRITE. BUT YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED TO SOMETHING I SAID.
TC: My MaTeSpRiT sAyS tHeRe'S sOmEtHiNg CaLlEd A mOtHeRfUcKiNg CoUnTrY fAiR gOiNg On ArOuNd Us. WoUlD yOu LiKe To Go AnD uSe OuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg PeEpErS tO cHeCk It AlL oUt WiTh Me?
CG: I REALLY DOUBT IT HAS 'MOTHERFUCKING' IN IT'S NAME. BUT THAT DOES SOUND INTERESTING. SATURDAY?
TC: I'lL bE aLl Up AnD rEaDy FoR iT.
CG: COOL.
CG:
TC:
Gamzee's and Jane's place was really nice, I decide was I drive through their neighborhood. Good area and apparently they do good business. I pull up in front of the store that I recognize from the pictures that Jane takes of Gamzee in front of it to show me. Bless her blood pusher, she's actually very fucking good for him. I was kinda worried when they first got together and decided to move out right around the time that Jade and I were starting to travel. If something was to go fucking wrong, I wouldn't be close enough to stop it quickly. But nothing happened. I stopped questioning why and just accepted the fucking blessing.
Being with Jade has been nice. Relaxing even. The same sensations are probably happening between Gamzee and Jane, but there's nothing like a fucking moirail to really refresh your thinkpan. I am really looking forward to hanging out with Gamzee for once. I frown to myself as I finish parking and dig some change out of the console for the meter. That's not how I should be feeling about my moirail. It definitely isn't a proper pale thought. But I guess I might not be as over what happened on the meteor as I thought I was.
"What are you scowling about, Karkat?" Jane's voice comes from across the room. I startle and look up. Somehow my fucking feet have walked me into the store without my direct knowledge. I finally locate her behind the counter, leaning with arms crossed on top of the glass display case. "Is something the matter?"
"Ah, no. Everything is fine. Just thinking about stuff and shit." I look around the shop. "Where's Gamzee?"
"When you drove up, he ran upstairs to grab something. He'll be down in a second."
"Right." Sure enough I hear the unmistakable clatter of Gamzee coming down the stairs like a damn stampede of gray trunkbeasts. He comes through the door in the back grinning like a fucking madman.
Well, I suppose he is one.
He's carrying a large picnic basket that he thrusts into my arms before turning and heading back to Jane. As I scramble to keep the wicker box in my arms I see my moirail gently kiss Jane on the top of her head causing her to giggle happily.
With an exaggerated sigh I gain his attention again. "Come on, you fucking pile of worthless shit. Stop wasting my time and get in the damn car." He manages to pry himself away from Jane and slowly walks back to me with his arms wide open. "No, I can't hug you, idiot. My fucking arms are kinda full or has all this sugar rotted your eyes as well as your teeth." He slumps over at the rejection. "Fuck. I'll give you a hug after we get this to the car." He perks back up. With a roll of my eyes I turn and leave the shop.
Thankfully the car that I am borrowing from Mr. Egbert has a large enough back seat that the picnic basket fits without any uncomfortable wedging even when Gamzee pushes the passenger seat back for his long legs. After I close the back door I wait on the sidewalk tapping my foot and wait for the stupid fuck to stop playing with the seat to give me a hug. Finally he looks up and his face just lights up like wrigglers seeing presents from their lusus on the cusp of the twelfth perigee. I only get a second to wonder if Gamzee ever got presents like that from his deadbeat of a goatdad before I am snagged by long limbs and crushed against his skinny chest.
"Gamzee. Fuck. Breathe. Need. To. Breathe," I gasp at him. He chuckles as if he found my lack of air fucking amusing, but he does let up some. Enough to actually let me get my arms from in between us and around him. The sensation of hugging him was like opening a good and familiar book where you can just sink into the story. There's a weight taken off my chest knowing that he is alright. I mean, I knew that he was alright. But there is a difference between being told your moirail was alright and actually holding him in your arms. I feel him nuzzle the top of my head in a similar show of affection as I saw in the shop, but there was an instinctive fundamental difference between the two actions. I nuzzle back against his chest. Fuck him for being so fucking tall.
A car goes by in the street reminding me that we have more to our pale date besides comforting hugs. I untangled myself from the lanky arms and push him into the car. I had gotten information about the country fair Gamzee mentioned from Jane earlier so when I get into the car we are able to head out immediately.
Why are people such idiots on the road? Some people shouldn't be given cars. There is no way that they could have passed their driver's license test or that test needs to have a minimum intelligence limit because holy fuck there are too many asshats on the road. Jegus. There is a special place in hell for all of those turd munchers that rode on my bumper as if there was anywhere to go ahead of me in this traffic.
We survive (barely) and even manage to find a parking space in of the many open fields around the fairgrounds. I make Gamzee carry the basket especially as he won't let me know what's in it. We make our way to the ticket booth and after restraining myself from reorganizing all of the poor souls who had to stand in these mishandled lines, I buy the tickets for entry and unlimited passes for the rides.
Retrospectively I'm not sure how Gamzee got the picnic basket through the entrance but I'm not one to ask those kind of questions. Instead I am busy fending off of the crowds of idiots who don't respect personal boundaries. Holy fuck! Give me room to fucking breathe!
Apparently my agitation was visible because Gamzee places a hand on my shoulder and pulls me slightly closer to him. I feel rather than hear a low growl reverberate through his chest and suddenly it's like people don't want to get within ten feet of us. I lean into the sound and let it soothe my nerves.
"Better, pale bro?"
"Yea. Yea it is, Gamzee."
"Good. Hey, that motherfucking tree looks like a motherfucking marvelous place for a picnic."
I look over in the direction that he is pointing and why yes there is a large leafy oak tree whose shadow is currently vacant. "Looks good to me."
We head over there and gog the shade does feel amazing as we escape away from the sun. How can the humans seriously enjoy hanging out underneath a gigantic ball of flame that is slowly roasting them alive. At least the Alternian sun was honest about its dangerous capabilities. This shade however is heaven, or as close as I was probably going to get to it. When we find a patch of grass free from rocks and roots, Gamzee produces a checkered blanket from the basket and spreads it out. I shake my head as cute passes across my think pan when we settle down on the red and white fabric. Gamzee keeps passing shit to me out of the picnic basket until we have a fucking feast spread out around us and I begin to question whether there was a dimensional rift inside that basket. I have a hard time deciding if Gamzee actually packed all of this or if Jane did, but I decide it doesn't matter as I dig in because it's all delicious.
After the meal I lean against Gamzee and sip at my bottle of water to clear my mouth of the sticky coating from one too many of the packed pastries. Gamzee is enjoying a sugar ladened Faygo. I find it hard to not believe that pure sugar runs through his veins instead of purple blood.
"So how's it going with you and Jane?"
"Motherfucking great, bro. It's just all sweetness and motherfucking goodness, you know?"
"No I don't know, you dumb fuck. That's why I am asking."
"Oh. Well, it's nice. I promise you that. She takes motherfucking good care of me."
"And you remember to take care of her too? Matespritship is a two way street."
"Yea. I take care of her." He bumps my shoulder to emphasize his words. "If you know what I mean."
I can feel my cheeks heat up as my traitorous red blood rushes to them when I catch his innuendo. "Fuck, Gamzee. Did not need to know that much. Do not need every detail of your personal life. Did I ask you for that kind of detail? No you stupid schmuck. Nobody needs to know those details except you and your fucking matesprit." I rub my eyes exasperated. "So any nightmares?"
Gamzee goes quiet and a chill runs down my spine. Two separate events of course. Not related at all.
"Gamzee, any episodes?"
"I didn't hurt her. I made sure not to hurt her. I think I scared her though. I didn't mean to. I don't mean to." At his first quivering word I was turned around on my knees and hugging his shoulders tightly. "I didn't. I don't. I didn't."
"Hush now. I know you didn't. I know you don't. You pity Jane. You wouldn't hurt her," I murmur to him. My fingers brush aside his ridiculous mess of hair and find the soft skin at the back of his neck to stroke. "The nightmares aren't your fault. You just have to tell me about them."
And so he does. He tells me about the ones from Sgrub, the ones from the meteor, the ones from a dead planet earth, the ones from the human's Alpha session, the ones that blend the worst of each together and how he'll wake up screaming and with blood all over the sheets and how sometimes it doesn't look like only his blood but that it's red, mustard, olive, blue, red, red, red. I hold him tight and let all of tension slowly leak from his body. He definitely needed a feelings jam if he was holding all of this in. From my position I can kiss the top of his head easily. I keep murmuring to him to encourage him to get it all out. Eventually the shaking stops and the only movement is my swaying him. His arms come up and wrap around me, letting me know that he was done. I smile at him trying to comfort me through his breakdown.
"Any motherfucking nightmares for you, pale bro?" His voice is a little raspy from the early sobbing.
"Not more than usual. But they stay in the sleep for me. Jade's good about waking me up. I wish she'd stop using fucking buckets of water," I shudder at the memory, "to wake me up but I guess it is affective."
"How is the green sister all up and doing?"
"Fine. Just fine. Almost as much of a handful as you." We return to our previous seating arrangements but with his arm thrown over my shoulders and keeping me close. "But at least she stays calm when everything goes to fucking hell. The abominable yeti was supposed to be a legend not fucking hanging out on icy cliffs on the way to those fucking secluded monks. But Jade handled it scarily well..."
"That sister has always been down to motherfucking Alternia."
"We aren't on Alternia anymore, you dumb fuck. She's never been to fucking Alternia. That turn of phrase is fucking useless."
"Still gets the message across a brother's think pan though so does it really matter, bro?"
"I guess not." I relax against him and let the stress that builds up so easily just flow out again. As I take a deep breath I realize that my usual stress headache isn't throbbing inside my thinkpan. Huh. Another side effect of hanging out with your moirail, I vaguely remember from my studies. I nuzzle the top of my head against Gamzee's throat with a contented sigh. "Missed you."
"I motherfucking missed you too, pale bro." With his other arm he makes an L shape in the air in front of us. I complete the other side of the diamond.
After sitting in the comfortable shade a little while longer to let the food digest, we start walking around the fair. As long as I stay close to Gamzee my crowd claustrophobia doesn't bother me and I can enjoy looking at all of the different booths set up across the field. There are games and challenges with prizes to be won. There are vendors selling greasy food that is most unappealing, jars of jam that Gamzee buys for Jane and the bakery, and small colorful candies that I buy for Jade. There are toy makers, artists, and fashionistas hawking their wares. Gamzee of course liked everything and laughed off my critical views. But Kanaya really had much better designs than any of the losers here.
We move through the market to the section with all of the rides. I warily eye the mostly temporary supports and braces but Gamzee refuses to listen to my concerns about them falling apart and crashing down around up, crushing us to death under brightly colored metal. He drags me onto the teacups, the ferris wheel, the mini coaster, the tilt-a-whirl, and any other mechanical disaster he can find, grinning like a fucking fool all the while. When he tries to get me on the ship that swings in an arc until it goes completely around in a vertical circle I have to put my foot down or otherwise I'd lose my lunch. With a frowning pout he finally relents and we wander over to the animals.
It's truly a fucking menagerie of beasts though it is still awkward as hell to see them so brightly colored instead of the basic white of the lusus that I was so familiar with back on Alternia. There is a mix of Alternia and Earthen creatures in large open areas that have several handlers in each. My mind keeps drifting to which of the group would like which animals. Like Vriska would have loved the spider room. Nepeta would jumped the fence to be with the big cats. I think Equius would have seriously injured himself over the hoofbeasts. I am looking over the reptiles and thinking of... when I hear Gamzee cry out. I instinctively reach for my scythes and then curse the air blue when I remember we don't have our strife specibi anymore. Fucking gog damnit. I look away for one fucking second and the world has to take a piss on the situation leaving me to fix the shitty smelly ruined situation. I run towards where I think my moirail is expecting to find blood and probably corpses everywhere.
Instead I stop short at the odd tableau of Gamzee nuzzling the head of what looks like a land version of his lusus. Their horns tap together with each turn of his head as it bleats... happily? I don't fucking know, I don't speak goat. The pen's handler is just sort of standing there confused, unsure of how to handle the tall troll now murmuring back to the goat. Does Gamzee speak goat? Gog damnit.
"You asinine clown. Why can't you do anything fucking normally?" I tell him as I climb over the fence. "I apologize for this moron. The psychotic freak has no idea what personal boundaries are let alone actual physical barriers that are meant to keep people fucking out of places like this," I explain helpfully to the handler. He just blinks at me. "Come on, you dumb fuck. You can't be in here." I put my hands on Gamzee's shoulders to let him know I was there. He looks up at me and gog damnit, there are translucent purple tears in his eyes. My blood pusher does a couple flips in pure pale pity. "Oh you sweet idiot." I gently tug him up and away from the animal and find a quiet corner away from the crowds. He's still grinning but instead of a manic tone to it like when we were on the rides, it's a lot softer. He actually looks pretty sane.
"Isn't that something, bro? After all of this motherfucking travel across all these motherfucking universe and a brother can still find family."
"You... you fucking... Gamzee." I pull him into a hug. He squeezes me back and then pulls me away slightly. I look up at him confused and then surprised as he brushes his thumbs over my cheeks to brush away some pink tears. Fuck. When did I start crying?
"No tears, pale bro. No tears. I bet you got motherfucking family all up and over this place."
"Gog fucking damnit. Just fucking forget about this. I'm fine. I promise, just stop fucking papping me, you pathetic excuse of a moirail. I don't need any of your shooshes either!" I yell at him. He just smiles that lazy ass smile, but he does stop papping my cheek. I do feel better but that's so far removed from the point that it is in a neighboring universe where maybe they'll give the two fucking shits that I don't. I glare at him menacingly but he doesn't react. He never reacts, fucking clown.
We both got our shit together and had no more incidents. Instead we just had fun for the rest of the time. I won't actually admit this to anyone else, but maybe humans had some good ideas.
Gamzee is practically falling asleep on his feel when I finally drag him away from the attractions. The fucker might be skinny but when he leans on of his weight on me, it makes it fucking hard to walk. I shove him into the car and head back to the bakery. He's snoring before we leave the parking lot.
It's nearly dark by the time I get him back to the bakery and their loft above it. The shops lights are a warm glow that spill onto the sidewalk. It actually looks fucking nice and cozy. I kick him out of the car and pass him the picnic basket after taking out my souvenirs. He immediately sets it aside and I get swamped again in a large hug. He doesn't try to fucking suffocate me again thank gog.
I've missed the imbecile. I really have. But he's okay. He's doing okay. And I am totally not crying into his shirt. That is totally not a thing that is happening.
I hear the door of the bakery open and the smell of icing wafts over. I give him one last squeeze and then let him go. I catch sight of Jane smiling sweetly at the door.
"If anything fucking happens to him-" I am cut short by a large hand on top of my head.
"Sister's got nothing but happy feelings for this brother."
"Fine." I cross my arms and glare at her. "My threat still stands."
"Hoo hoo. I understand, Karkat. You take care of yourself too."
She's too nice to give a single finger salute to as I stomp to my side car but I do my best to grouch my way through the farewell. As I drive away, I keep one eye on Gamzee standing there with that horrible posture in my rearview mirror. My idiotic moirail.
A/N: Wow I feel like I butchered those characters. But I think it came out well enough. Anyways, sorry for the pale porn but I wanted to explore moirallegiance.