Huge thanks to all of you for sticking with this and for your lovely words... and thank you to Midnight Cougar for her ninja beta skills, and to Joey and Mandi for pre-reading my non-sense.

…

5.

"Am I really that discernibly awkward?" I asked Irina, glass of wine perched precariously on my almost non-existent muffin top, as I lay on the sofa in the living room.

"Yes," she answered a little too quickly for my liking as she typed up a few words, chatting up that Peter guy she'd soon meet again in real life. He was her cousin's friend or something like that. I wasn't a hundred percent sure of the details.

"I mean, I have a filter, right?" I stared at the crack in the ceiling, hoping I wouldn't have to fix it anytime soon.

"No." She kept typing while I took a sip from my glass, trying not to drop any of the liquid on me.

"Then why would you fuck me? I mean, you had to be attracted to me, right? Am I not attractive?" I was being a little melodramatic in my half-drunk stupor.

Irina sighed and finally tore her eyes away from her laptop screen. "Look, you're a beautiful, sexy girl with a sweet, little snatch, Swan, and he'd be crazy not to have eyes for you. Is that what you want to hear?"

I shrugged. "Maybe."

"Good, because it's the truth. Besides, the man is practically stalking you, trust me, he sees the same thing I do." She smiled and returned to whatever it was she was doing on her laptop.

I twirled a piece of hair between my thumb and forefinger. "Any chance you'd like to, you know, sample the goods?" I wiggled my brows, grasping at straws. Hearing dirty words like snatch coming out of her mouth stirred up my lady boner, and reminded me of the fun we'd had together and what that mouth of hers could effectively do.

She scrunched up her nose. "Bella, I … this thing … with Peter. I want to, trust me, I do, but I'd feel a little weird about it, you know?"

I nodded, sighing longingly. "Meh, worth a try."

"Hey, there's always Big Blue." She shrugged nonchalantly, as her fingers moved over the keyboard.

I smiled, my mood perking up instantly as I sat upright, grabbing my now empty wine glass. "Oh, yeah."

That night, after a good go with BB, I fell asleep with a smile on my face, my body relaxed and a few dozen questions swirling around in my mind.

…

I walked into the cafeteria and sighed at the sight of the gorgeous man standing in front of the coffee counter. He always seemed to be standing between me and my drug of choice, coffee, and it had started to seriously grate on my last nerve.

Rolling my eyes and groaning, I closed in on him. "You're stalking me, right?"

"Jesus!" Edward dropped his cup of scalding coffee on the ground in front of him, thankfully avoiding getting any of the hot liquid on himself in the process.

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry," I gasped, palming my face and getting some napkins from the counter to wipe down some of the mess. "To be fair, it was my turn to scare the crap out of you, though."

"It's fine, Bella, I deserved that." He chuckled, taking the napkins from my hand and picking up the Styrofoam cups and dumping them in the nearby trash can. "I'm sure the lunch lady heard us and will be sending someone to pick up this mess."

I couldn't look at his face. There was no way I was ever, ever living this one down. Ever. Letting out a breath, I dropped my chin to my chest and mumbled, "Only me."

"I've done worse." My head shot up and I raised an eyebrow in question. "I used to play pranks on people," he continued. "This is karma getting me back." He laughed. "When I was in medical school, I let my roommate think he'd been poisoned by slipping a little methylene blue in his Cool Aid. It was epic."

Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried containing my giggle. He was trying to make me feel better, and dammit, it was working. "He wasn't in medical school, I take it?" I finally let my eyes meet Edward's.

He grinned devilishly. "Hell, no. He was a drama major with a definite flair for the dramatics."

I couldn't help but bark out a laugh. "Okay, I guess that works. Didn't you get into trouble?"

He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nah, I was too shy and introverted. Nobody thought it was me."

My eyes widened, I'd never pictured him that way. He seemed more, I don't know, assertive. Or, maybe that was just the dream I'd had. "Oh, wow, that's … seriously? Nobody ever suspected you?"

A cleaning crew started swarming around us, cleaning coffee splatter off the edge of the counter and the front of the bar. Someone with a mop and bucket diligently cleaned where we were standing, practically pushing us to the side as they worked.

The smell of coffee permeated the air and damn if my mouth didn't water.

"Nope." He grinned proudly. "It's been almost ten years and nobody's ever pointed a finger at me."

I nodded. "So, I guess that's not why you moved then, huh?"

He shook his head, laughing. "No. I just needed a change of scenery."

"Yeah, you certainly got that here." My eyes wandered to the now deserted coffee machine.

"I did," Edward agreed as he took two cups and filled them to the brim with the warm, dark liquid. "Have dinner with me tonight, Bella."

It wasn't a question; it was a statement or an order. There was the assertive Edward I'd dreamed of. I had to refrain from saying "yes, sir."

I smiled, feeling my face flame. "I finish my shift at seven."

He considered me for a minute. "So, that's not a no?"

I let out a breath as he handed me my cup filled with coffee. "No, it's definitely not a no. Drinks maybe? There's a pub down the street from here. Whit's, do you know it?"

He nodded. "I do, actually. See you there at eight, then?"

"Sounds good." I grinned, backing out of the cafeteria. I was already late for my rounds and had just lost fifteen minutes chatting up the sexy doctor.

…

"So, he came right out and just finally asked you?" Irina stated as she watched me get dressed.

I nodded. "I'm as surprised as you are."

"And you're wearing that?" She pointed at my skinny jeans, flats and short-sleeved purple top.

"This is all I have clean, and if he likes me in scrubs, he'll love me in this. Besides, it's not really a date, I mean; we're just going out for drinks."

"You're fucking blind, woman. I'm not expecting you home tonight," she commented flippantly while pulling off her thermal, leaving her in a bra and panties.

"Please, for all I know he could put me to sleep and cultivate my liver." I looked at her in shock. "There could be a collection of dead bodies in his basement."

She shook her head, mocking me. "You read that story, didn't you? The one with the bad ending?"

I shrugged. "He killed his girlfriends because he loved them, Ri. Who the hell does that?"

She gave me that 'what the fuck' look I'd come to know and love. "Go. Now."

I giggled, dropping a kiss to her cheek before making my way out the locker room door.

...

I walked into Whit's, waving at Garrett and Kate as I made my way over to where Edward was sitting by the bar. "Hey there, stranger."

He turned toward me, a smile tugging at his lips. "You finally made it."

I grinned. He was so cute. "Of course I did. Just don't mind the outfit." I rolled my eyes at myself.

He frowned, giving me the once-over. "You look great, Dr. Swan. It's not blue cotton, what's not to like?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Irina was on my ass about it, that's all."

"Well, Irina doesn't know what she's talking about, obviously." He took a pull from his beer. "Now, what can I get ya?" He pulled back the stool next to his, motioning for me to have a seat.

I felt my face flame. If only he knew exactly how close Irina and I truly were, and how well she really did know me ... inside and out. "I'll have what you're having."

Since we were sitting at the bar and not in a private booth, I figured my assumptions were right about this not being a date. It was now obvious that he simply meant this to be two friends and colleagues, going out for drinks.

I blew out a breath, relaxing instantly, letting this realization sink in. Friends seemed like something I could handle way better than a date, anyway. It wasn't that I didn't want to date him, dear Lord, I would have loved to find out what being with him was really like, but the pressure that entailed scared the crap out of me.

"So, you didn't have too much trouble finding this place, Edward?" I inquired as the bartender placed my beer bottle in front of me.

"Nah," he answered then added, "Kate is my mom's cousin, actually. I'm pretty familiar with Whit's."

"No shit." I looked at him in awe, my jaw dropping, figuratively. "I've known them my entire life," I continued.

Kate and Garrett "Whit" Whitlock were like a second family to me. Kate had been my mother's best friend for years before she passed. They had owned the bar since before I was born and had always been supportive of me whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on.

What were the odds?

"Oh, yeah? That's pretty cool." He nodded, looking away for a split second. I wondered briefly if he already knew about my connection to his cousin. "They're the ones I had contacted when I needed a change of pace," he continued. "My mother had suggested Florida or New York, but there weren't any openings at any hospitals there. I ended up looking into Seattle and applied for the post. Once I got it and all my paperwork was in order, I contacted Kate to see if she knew of any place I could rent that wasn't a rat infested hell hole." He grinned.

I giggled. "And how did that go?" The good places to rent in Seattle were few and far between. With all the students milling around town, it was easy to find yourself living in a building full of kids partying it up twenty-four, seven.

"It wasn't easy. Kate tried, but to no avail. She finally just offered me the spare room in her house until I could find something decent." He shrugged, taking another pull of his drink.

A thought nagged at the back of my mind, but I let it sit there. "I'll keep an eye open for you," I offered. There was no way I was inviting him to live with me. If getting caught masturbating by my best friend wasn't awkward enough, the only other spare room I had was right next to mine, and there was no way he wasn't going to hear me calling his name on a regular basis.

"Thanks." He nodded. "That'd be great, Bella."

"Sure." I touched his bottle with mine. "What are friends for, right?"

I brought my beer bottle to my lips, downing half of it before pulling it back. I was disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I wanted him, like really wanted him. He was so sweet, nice, smart and incredibly attractive ... the perfect man for me. He hung on my every word and seemed interested, but I was too foolish to want to see our relationship as anything else than friendship.

When I was finally able to let my eyes meet his, I was met with disappointment clouding his. He nodded, averting my gaze and finished his beer.

There was an awkward pause between us, like we were at a standstill. I didn't like it. This wasn't us. This wasn't what we were about.

"So, did Kate say anything about me?" I asked, trying to break the silence that seemed to linger over us.

He shrugged. "Yeah, a little, I mean, she didn't elaborate or anything. She said it wasn't her job to tell me about you." He let out a breathy laugh. "She said I needed to get to know you myself."

"Oh, wow, that's nice, actually." I meant it. Kate was never one to interfere, she would always wait for me to come to her, and be there to listen. She understood how my parents' death had affected me and she was the only one I had opened up to. The people at the hospital, my peers and even my best friends had tried to get me to open up, but only Kate had seen me break down and cry until I had no tears left.

"Kate is great. She's one of my mom's youngest cousins, and always looked up to her. When she married Garrett, my father gave her away," he explained.

I smiled, remembering some stories about Kate's wedding and her cousin's husband, Carlisle. "My mom thought your dad was very handsome." I wiggled my eyebrows and Edward laughed. "Kate's dad died when she was little and her mother never remarried," I mused. "I remember now."

"Yeah." He nodded, his eyes searching my face. "Hey, do you believe in fate?"

His question was completely out of left field. I snorted, unable to keep a straight face and almost choked on my beer. "You're kidding, right?"

He got really serious, his cheeks and the tips of his ears darkening pink, and his eyes narrowing as he leaned into my personal space. "Bella, I've never met anyone like you. I feel like—" He shook his head, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "I feel like I've known you all my life; like I came here to meet you. Crazy right?"

I nodded, hypnotized in our little moment. "A little," I agreed. "So, what were your intentions … with me? Tonight, I mean."

He looked away, frowning. "I'm not sure. You make me so … confused. I mean, I wanted to bring you to my place and do really inappropriate things to you, but seeing as my living situation is what it is, I figured getting to know you was a good first step."

I stared at him, mouth agape, letting his words sink in. Inappropriate, as in sexy things? I was all into going that route with him, but, then, maybe he meant inappropriate as in digging out my liver, and well, I wasn't really into that as much.

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I asked, "How inappropriate are we talking here, Edward?" If his answer was leather whips and chains, I wasn't really into that, either.

He smirked, lowering his lips to my ear and whispering, "I would have put some sugar in your coffee ... and maybe a little bit of cream." His voice was full of innuendo and his breath tickled my ear, leaving me momentarily stunned. There was the confident Edward I had gotten a few glimpses of over the past few weeks.

I gulped, the air leaving my lungs in a gush as my face heated and my eyes widened. "Jesus Christ." I giggled to myself. He was cute beyond words.

He pulled back a little and smirked. "I was kidding, Bella." Disappointment washed over me, leaving me limp, sad and frazzled. I'd had just about enough of this friendship with Dr. Cullen. He had me all over the place. I was hoping for too much while he had no clue what he was playing with.

I frowned. "Oh."

"I mean, God, I'm such a tool. I like you, okay?" I raised an eyebrow and he continued, "I wanted this to be a date, but I suck at this kind of thing." He licked his lips considering me for a second, his eyes not leaving mine. "You really want to know why I needed a change of pace?"

I nodded. "Enlighten me, please, because you're seriously all over the place and I'm not sure how much more of it I can handle," I confessed.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Shit, I'm sorry, Bella. Look, I had a girlfriend." The mere mention of another girl made my heart clench. "For a long time," he continued. "She left me last year for some guy at her law firm. I never saw it coming. It destroyed me. That's when my family suggested I try practicing somewhere new."

"Wow," I whispered, taking it all in. "I'm sorry about your girlfriend."

He shrugged. "Ex-girlfriend, and it's fine, I've moved on. It wasn't meant to be, and as cheesy as it sounds, I'm glad I'm here now. I really meant what I said earlier, Bella. I feel like I was destined to come here and find you."

I smiled wide then took a deep breath to calm my nervous excitement. "I'm glad you're here, too, Edward; really glad." I bit my lip, still smiling, and wondered why I had been so blind before. My refusal to believe it clouded my judgment at every turn, but it also served to keep him at arm's length until we were both ready. He liked me, but he had some things of his own to work through.

Unfortunately, as much as we probably both wanted it, nothing would happen tonight.

…

So, Edward's all over the place, huh? Thoughts?