"Screw that! We can take care of ourselves. Go back and get Alenko!"

Ashley's voice rang in her helmet. She was on Virmire, somewhere between Ashley and a squad of geth, and Kaidan and another squad of geth. Seconds before, he'd told her he was arming the bomb. She cursed silently as she considered her options. If she went to the AA tower, they'd be taking off from there. The only way she'd make it back to the bomb site was if she went now. And looking at it that way, she realized there was no choice at all.

After the briefest of pauses, she gave her orders. "Alenko, radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site.

He responded, hesitantly, "Yes, Commander. I..."

Ash cut him off. "You know it's the right choice, LT."

Shepard struggled to keep her voice even just a little longer and succeeded, barely. "I'm sorry, Ash."

And then she was moving, practically willing her way back to the bomb site, biotically tossing aside any geth that failed to succumb to her shotgun.

And then she was on the Normandy, watching the explosion below as Joker sped away from the planet.

And then she was back on the surface, in the crater that had once been Saren's base, Ashley's voice still ringing in her ears.

"You know it was the right choice, Commander."

"Was it?" she addressed the disembodied voice.

"You had a million reasons to go back for Alenko. Why should you have come back for me? To slake your conscience? You think you'd feel better right now if he'd died that day?"

She wasn't sure why she kept listening. This wasn't Ash. No, her own brain had decided to fuck with her. "That's not the point."

"And yet, here you are."

And there she was again, back at the bomb site, struggling to haul Kaidan aboard the Normandy. "Go! Go! Go!" she hollered as the hatch began to close. But she'd hesitated too long. The bomb was going off; it was too late to escape the explosion. She felt the rush of heat as the mushroom cloud enveloped them...

Shepard jerked awake, kicking at the blankets that threatened to choke her. Sweat soaked her clothes and hair, and the cool air of her cabin was a sweet relief. It had been a long time since Ash had invaded her dreams and she had a pretty good idea how she had gotten there. The call fron the Dalatrass last night had been a surprise, even if it shouldn't have been.

The shower managed to wash away the sweat, but it wasn't doing anything for her state of mind. It had been one thingto abandon a council who'd opposed her at every turn, to blow up a station full of geth she'd never met. Now she was being asked to betray a friend. And, she realized, to ensure the crucible project was successful, to protect them from annihilation, she might just do it. She would do for the galaxy what she couldn't do for Ash. When the alternative was annihilation, a lot of things started to seem acceptable.

No, she wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon. She quickly threw some clothes on and slunk down to the mess for a cup of coffee.

It was nearly deserted at this hour, but not quite. A lone Turian sat at the table, his head bent over a cup of grayish-white liquid. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat across from him. "Hey, Garrus."

He looked up as she sipped her beverage slowly. "It's early. Trouble sleeping?"

She focused intently on her cup. "I didn't come here for an interrogation."

"Well, now I know something's wrong." Now she did lift her head to look at him, narrowing her eyes. "Otherwise you'd be bitching about the coffee, not the conversation."

She shook her head. "You're an ass, Vakarian."

He cocked his head. "You wouldn't want it any other way."

She tried to formulate a witty retort, but he was right. It was far too early. So she just held her tongue. Maybe if she ignored him long enough he'd-

"And I'm not going to just leave you to sulk in peace, so you might as well talk."

It was revenge, she realized. She was sure of it. After all the times she'd invaded his space, tried to get him to open up: about his father, about C-Sec, about Sidonis and his team on Omega, he wasn't going to let up until she spilled something in return. "I saw Ash," she began quietly, "back on Virmire." She shook her head. "I haven't thought about Virmire in ages."

"You made a tough call there. Sounds like you're about to make another one."

She raised her eyebrows. "Garrus Vakarian. Expert Reaper Analyst. Amateur shrink?"

"You don't think I've had my share of bad dreams?"

She grew quiet. "You know, I tried to convince myself that I went back for Kaidan because he was the senior officer, or because his skills were more valuable, or so I could make sure the geth didn't disarm the bomb. But did I really? And if I did, does that make it any better, knowing that I left Ash to die because she just wasn't important enough?"

"This isn't about Virmire, is it?" She remained silent. "It's just one of those things. That ruthless calculus of war. The horrible things we do to prevent a greater tragedy. I was there, Shepard. You had to make a split second decision and why you did it, well, it doesn't change the facts. Everything you've done, has been to save as many people as possible. And I think you've got the equations figured out."

"And if I don't know all the variables?" Like how much did they really need the Salarians, and would they lose the Krogan in the process.

"Then what does your gut tell you?"

She tried to laugh it off. "So are the Turians practicing intuition-based mathematics now?"

"I mean it, Shepard. You'll do the right thing."

She shook her head. He didn't know. He couldn't. If she did what she thought was right... "Garrus?" He looked up. "Get some rest. We rendezvous with Kirrahe's team in..." she checked the time on her omni-tool, "...four hours."

"Yes, ma'am!" he responded enthusiastically.

She looked over her shoulder as she headed toward the elevator. "You are such an ass."

Kaidan, omni-tool blinking, hurriedly scanned the docking bay terminal for anything he could trace back to the Hanar diplomats on the Citadel. Two weeks of Spectre access and he still hadn't come across any news about his squad; however, he'd had ample occasion to familiarize himself with the computer and security systems of the Citadel.

"Nothing here except a message to his... mistress?" Kaidan shook his head. "What else do you have?" He accepted the next transmission and hurried down the corridor. The Salarian he was working with, Jondum Bau, had been unofficially overseeing Kaidan's introduction to the Spectres. He'd gotten an idea of what it entailed from working with Shepard of course, but she tended to exercise her Spectre privileges more forcefully than he preferred.

Being able to let himself loose in the Citadel's systems was refreshing in a way. He'd gotten a taste of it three years ago, helping Shepard trace a rogue AI through the Citadel. Compared to that, having access to Spectre codes and systems almost made it too easy. Shepard could have used hers, of course, but she couldn't hack her way out of a paper sack and it had been quicker for him to manage it on his own.

But now, he could see just how deep and complex the Citadel's computer systems were. He shouldn't really have been surprised after they'd learned on Ilos just how impossibly old this place was, and what it could do. He wondered what other secrets were lurking here, in this maze of circuits and signals.

Speaking of signals, he opened a secure channel to Bau. "I think I might have something. See what this name pulls up..."

Shepard idly checked her weapons as the tomkah rumbled it's way across Tuchanka's surface. Mordin was chatting animatedly with Eve while Wrex grunted and watched the shattered landscape roll by. Her talk with Garrus in the wee hours of the morning hadn't done much for her state of mind. Neither had the cryptic text message she'd sent Kaidan afterward. She really wished she hadn't sent that; it probably made her sound a bit crazy. Ugh. Everything on track a day ago. Now I don't know. It went and got all fuzzy, y'know? Fucking Salarians. Yeah, she definitely sounded crazy. Not that she was sure she wasn't at this point.

"Everything okay, Commander?" She'd almost forgotten about Kirrahe in the seat facing hers.

She shrugged and gave a half-hearted smile. "Just hoping we can pull this off. That Reaper kinda threw a wrench into things."

"Reapers tend to do that."

They're not the only ones. "Have you talked to your other STG guys? You're sure they're with us, regardless?"

"We're soldiers, Shepard. I can't say how all this will turn out in the long run," he waved his hand toward the Krogan at the front of the truck, "but I know that scoring political points doesn't matter if we're all dead. I saw what the Reapers can do on Virmire. They need to be stopped. We can worry about the rest of it later."

Suddenly she felt herself thrown forward as the truck jerked to a stop. "What the hell was that?"

"I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth." Saren's voice rang out over the Citadel's central chamber. Kaidan glanced across the stairway at Shepard, but she wasn't making a move yet. Still just trying to keep Saren talking.

"Sovereign hasn't won yet. I can stop it from taking control of the station. Step aside and the invasion will never happen." He knew what she was doing; trying to break through the indoctrination for a moment, like she had with Benezia. Trying to make him see reason for just long enough to mitigate his defenses. The goal was sound, but he was keenly aware that their time was limited; they had to get that file uploaded before Sovereign could interface with the Citadel.

"We can't stop it! Not forever. You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful." He wasn't going to budge. Kaidan caught Shepard's eye, then jerked his head toward Saren. They were going to have to fight.

Shepard shook her head; she was having none of it. She was so damn stubborn. "Some part of you must still realize this is wrong. You can fight this!"

And it seemed to pay off. "Maybe you're right. Maybe there still is a chance for-UGH!" At Saren's grunt, Kaidan poked his head out to look up at the platform, watching the Turian struggle for control of himself. "The implants... Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry. It's too late for me." Damnit! It had been a good effort, but they'd have to fight. He stood and activated his Barrier.

Shepard was standing now as well. "It's not over yet. You can still redeem yourself!" She refused to give up, even as she prepared for the inevitable.

And to Kaidan's surprise, Saren then lifted his gun and held it to his jaw. "Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you." He fired.

Even now, Kaidan shuddered at the memory. It shouldn't have affected him as much as it did. After all, the fear of losing his mind was something he'd lived with for years. But to lose one's will completely, yet at the same time remaining keenly aware of it... well, he could understand Saren's gratitude.

He only hoped he could do the same here. They might still have a chance to resolve this relatively peacefully. He had to admit, at the time he hadn't expected Shepard to be able to get through to Saren. After their previous encounters, the Turian appeared to be too far gone. Of course, Shepard, seemingly through sheer force of will, had found that shred of Saren's mind that was still self-aware.

He had his work cut out for him, though. He lacked Shepard's forceful personality, along with any understanding of Hanar psychology. He was stuck trying to poke holes in the Hanar's logic. Unfortunately, with as flimsy as that logic was, it didn't look like the Reapers had needed to try very hard to hook the Hanar.

"Confinement is irrelevant," the Hanar was saying. "The works of the Enkindlers cannot be stopped."

"Enkindlers. The Protheans. But you're working with the Reapers. They slaughtered the Protheans; wiped them out."

"No, the Enkindlers alone were spared. They were uplifted to become the Collectors. They serve the Reapers now, and so must we."

Kaidan might have doubted this, but he'd seen Shepard's reports on the Collector mission and knew that there was a foundation of truth in the Hanar's words. But it was a half-truth at best. "The Reapers enslaved them. You're under no obligation to follow that path."

"The Enkindlers serve the Reapers. The Hanar serve the Enkindlers."

This was hopeless. "Not anymore. This is over."

"It won't matter. Our planetary defenses are largely automated. They can be disabled by a simple virus... which I have just uploaded."

"Damnit!" Kaidan turned to see the Salarian, Bau, with his omni-tool already active, trying to block the transmission. He didn't get much time though, as the Hanar's guard came up behind him and put an arm around his throat.

"Forget me," choked Bau. "Kahje- stop the signal..."

Kaidan hurried to the offices other terminal to do that, but on the way he Lifted the guard, pulling him away from Bau and releasing him in midair. He slid into the chair in front of the terminal, his fingers already flying across the keypad. "There!" he shouted, and entered a command. "Got it!"

As he came down from his adrenaline high, Kaidan surveyed the room. Bau was in the process of restraining the Hanar, so Kaidan turned his attention to the guard on the floor, searching the neck for a pulse. "He's alive," he called to Bau as the Salarian walked over. "Gonna have a nasty headache though," he added, recalling the one he'd awoken with not ten days ago.

"I hate to say it, but it might've been kinder if he wasn't."

"So you think he was indoctrinated as well."

Bau nodded. "It's impossible to say for sure without observation, but likely. The highest priority targets would be military and political leaders, but of course controlling those around them would make the Reapers' job much easier." Kaidan nodded grimly. "Come on; we should get these two back to headquarters."

Shepard burst forward, Charging through the heavily armored brutes that stood between her and the second hammer control. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure they weren't too close behind her, she activated the hammer, then turned back to worry about the brutes again. She didn't need to, she realized, as she watched Garrus nail one in the head with a concussive shot from his rifle and Kirrahe pump two exploding rounds from his pistol into the other.

So she turned her attention to the Reaper, hoping that Kalros would, in fact, turn its attention to it instead of them. She wasn't disappointed. The huge maw burst up through the sand, seemingly enveloping the Reaper all at once, dragging it underground almost as quickly as it had appeared. She opened up a comm link. "That's it! We're clear!"

Shepard looked up at the shroud as she and Mordin approached it. The tower was crumbling right in front of them. Whatever they were doing here, it would have to be quick. And she still didn't know what she should do about the genophage.

"Hmm," Mordin considered. "Temperature settings not right. Need to reach controls inside shroud; make adjustments to ensure success of cure."

Wait, ishe... "Mordin, you can't! That thing's coming down any minute. Look, you're right, your people sabotaged the shroud to prevent it being used for a genophage cure."

He nodded. "Yes. They did. How did you know?"

"The dalatrass offered Salarian help with the crucible. She offered their fleets to help us retake Earth. As long as we don't go through with the cure. We can just leave it as it is; no one needs to know."

Mordin stepped away from her, shaking his head. "No. Have to do this, Shepard."

"Why?" She knew the answer, that he could finally have the redemption he'd sought after for years, that he'd never realized he'd been seeking before meeting her. That didn't stop her from pressing on. "You always defended the genophage, defended your work on it. I had to talk you into saving Maelon's data..."

"I made a mistake!" She'd never heard him raise his voice before, and even though the change in volume was minimal, it stopped her in her tracks. "Have to do this, Shepard," he repeated, "Stop me if you must."

"I-" She again recalled her discussion with Garrus. What does your gut tell you?

It told her that they were making good progress with the Crucible on their own. That by all accounts the plans were well detailed, and that by her own experience the Prothean scientists had known what they were doing. That the Salarians would come around when it became painfully obvious their very survival was on the line. And ultimately, that she'd been lucky not to lose two friends on Virmire that day, and she needed Wrex on her side. She needed allies she could trust. She needed people who understood the need to unite.

"Mordin, go. I just... I wish it didn't have to be this way."

He smiled sadly as he entered the elevator and turned to face her. "My project. My work. My cure. My responsibility... Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong."

She looked down, not wanting to see him go, but not ready to leave either. Moments later, she heard a voice behind her. "Commander," it was Kirrahe. "I know. But we need to go." She nodded, then turned and walked away. And as exhausted as she was by the day's events, she found herself dreading sleep, knowing that Mordin would be joining Ashley in her dreams.