A/N: This will be the end of this story. This chapter will play around with different possibilities of the post-rescue Peeta and Katniss. There is also a harder line of thought drawn about other relationships…

Hopefully finishing just after the fall of the Capitol. Look forward to the next story about Post MJ and Pre-Epilogue.

All credit for all HG to SC. I own nothing.

And then we were

I don't think I have ever moved so quickly nor had such a flurry of emotions as I did running down the corridor toward the hospital wing. He was back. He was alive.

I am surprised at the level of energy I had seeing how I spent the past 36 hours in tears and sobbing from time to time.

The only highlight was the personal moment I had in District 12. We were waiting on news of the rescue mission, and I had convinced my entourage to go to District 12 and let me tell the story of my life there

I was sitting on the rock that overlooks the valley. It's the same rock that I shared with Gale on so many occasions where we talked and dreamed of a life that wasn't possible.

It was there, on that rock, that I told the story of Peeta saving my life with two burnt loaves of bread. I told every detail I could think of and my heart warmed just the same way it did on that very day.

I realized during the story, that I had never really shared the depth of how that gesture made me feel with Peeta. I was sad that I didn't tell him how he saved me, shaped my future, and earned a permanent place in my heart.

Now, I am running past the team of doctors and stand just outside his door. Haymitch caught my arm and explained that Peeta was just waking up from the sleep gas used during the rescue.

He cautions me to be easy as he might be confused with the surroundings. I smile inside. If anyone can help Peeta feel at home it's me.

The next 10 minutes changed my life forever. In one second I see him, am rushing toward him with my arms outstretched, waiting to be crushed by his longing embrace. In the next, I am pinned against the wall with the room growing darker and darker, an unmistakable pressure closing off my airway. He is choking me.

I came to in my own hospital bed. Prim is standing beside me with tears running down her cheeks. She tells me not to talk.

The look of confusion in my eyes prompts her explanation of what happened a few hours earlier. She recounts how Peeta attacked me in his room. Then she goes on about the diagnosis – hijacking.

The ever-optimistic Prim adds in the idea that they don't think it's permanent and I should just be patient and let him come around. But I somehow know that it's over. I had given in to the idea that I would be content with getting Peeta back, one way or another, and this was another.

I was off-limits for Peeta. I think it's more excruciating to be in the same vicinity as him and not be able to see, hold or talk to him, than it was when he was on the other side of the world.

I get back outside and hunt, I eat, I wander around, and I exist. The bright spot in this whole ordeal is seeing Finick and Annie together again.

Why she was spared the evil torture, I don't know, and in some way I am resentful of it. But I push that thought process out of my head and enjoy the happiness that I see radiating on Finick's face.

He deserves this happiness. He has paid dearly as the playboy of the Capitol for the past few years. It is nice to see him enjoying normalcy.

I am a little excited when I hear news of their wedding and even offer to take her to my former house in 12 to find something to wear.

The real surprise of the evening is when a heavily shackled Peeta pushes in a cart with the most beautiful wedding cake I have ever seen.

I am hidden by the crowd, so he can't see me, but I see a glint of peacefulness in his mostly blue eyes. Hope wells up ever so slightly in my heart.

After the wedding festivities, Haymitch tells me about how Peeta reacted to seeing his old friend Delly. It was the first time he had been around anyone from his previous life and not melted down. Progress? Maybe.

A couple nights later, Haymitch told me that Peeta had requested to see me. I was scared to the core of my being, but felt the overwhelming urge to go and see him. I owed this to him. To help him in any way possible.

When I walked into his room, he was restrained to his bed. I stood just inside the door and he stared at me so intently that I was almost self-conscious.

"Hey," I said, breaking the tension of the silence.

"Hi Katniss," he replied, never taking his eyes off of me.

"Haymitch said you wanted to see me, so here I am," I said. I was surprised at my tone. I was almost short with him. The truth was I don't really know how to act around him. I am so afraid of setting him off.

"Well thanks for coming by to see me. I did ask for you. I have been asking for you for a few days, but apparently they didn't think that was such a good idea," he said.

"Why are staring at me," I tried, searching for some kind of conversation. I can't believe it is so hard to talk to him. Part of me wants to run to his bedside and force him to remember what we shared, but I am frozen in place.

"I don't know. You aren't what I was expecting," he said.

"Peeta," I start to say something, but Haymitch is in my earpiece telling me to tread lightly.

I can't do this. He is lost to me. He doesn't love me anymore. I don't know how I could ever help him remember what we once were. I want to, but I just don't think I can.

Just when I have given up and turned for the door, Peeta begins to tell me that he remembers the bread. Our first moment, at least the first moment I can think of from my side of the story.

"I remember everything about that day. You, the rain, my mother, I remember it all. I am sorry that I didn't make a better effort to get to know you then. I wasted a lot of time that could have been us," he said.

"I guess I really did love you didn't I," he asked?

"Yes you did love me," I replied. I wish I could say, you still love me, but it is becoming painfully clear that he doesn't.

I can't believe the Capitol was able to destroy what I thought was so deep it didn't even have a beginning.

"I wish I could remember why," he said.

I was instantly angry with him. It was like he knew just what to say to completely crush me. This is why I never wanted to fall in love, this moment right now.

I have lost Peeta forever. I opened my heart and took him in, and now he is gone, ripped away from me by the Capitol – no by Snow himself.

I turned and stormed out the door without another word and just like I had so many times before, especially after the first games, I put up a wall that would protect me from ever feeling again.

Over the next couple of weeks, I trained as a soldier. I had only one desire that would salvage some part of my existence – to kill Snow.

It took a while to start to get back into shape, but it felt great. My heart hurt, but I was adding a new layer to that wall every day. I wouldn't let my feelings for Peeta stand in my way. In fact, I was never going to make the mistake of opening up again.

Off in district 2, the last district standing in our way of a full-on assault of the Capitol, I was huddled by a campfire talking to Gale.

I looked at him differently tonight. In a way I hadn't let myself look at him, ever. My mind and heart started playing the devil / angel game. Why couldn't I start some kind of life with him? I thought.

I don't want a romantic relationship, but maybe we could be more than just friends. Who would I be hurting now? I am not married any longer. It wasn't official anyway, so no harm – no foul.

As those thoughts raced across my mind, my heart began to hurt. I willed it not to be a part of this process, but it always will be.

My heart belongs to someone else. I gave it away and no matter how hard I try, I will never get it back.

Even if I don't have a life with Peeta anymore, I will never get it back. Even though he doesn't want me anymore, he will always have my heart.

At best, I can hope that someday I don't feel guilty about enjoying physical intimacy with someone, even if there is nothing attached to it.

I am glad that all of this thinking has been inside my head. I look across the fire and see Gale and realize that the last thing he needs it me to screw with his head some more.

I never could really put my finger on the reason why Gale didn't hold a stronger place in my heart. On the outside we seemed like such a perfect fit with being from the same background, circumstances in life and with the same fire in our soul.

But there was always some kind of warning sign in my heart about him and I just haven't put my finger on it yet. Not until today.

We are staring at an impenetrable fortress – the Nut. The mountain layer that houses the Capitol's primary defenses is the last thing standing in our way from taking this district and moving on to the Capitol.

Bouncing ideas back and forth, Gale speaks up with a plan to take the Nut down once and for all. His idea is not to steal it for our use, but to render it useless by anyone.

It is in the details of this plan that I find the answer to my question.

Gale has the ability to block out the sanctity of human life. He is raw and unforgiving. His plan to bury anyone, friend or foe, in that mountain runs all through me.

It is in that plan that I realize that he is not a picture of hope, but of darkness. He is not and can never be a counter-balance to someone like me.

My heart is that of my father's. On the exterior I am cold, calculating and always in survival mode. But on the inside I am soft and delicate.

No one has ever been able to bring that to the surface, well not until I met Peeta.

It is almost satisfying to realize why I can't have a life with Gale, and scary at the same time that I think I understand the depth of his darkness.

In a way, I wonder if he would ever hurt me to accomplish his mission. It is painful to think about.

The plan is accepted and carried out and I watch in horror as the mountain comes crashing down on all those helpless people.

This moment also lends itself to my next brush with danger. Somehow in the process of trying to be the mockingjay, I get myself shot.

When I come to in the hospital back in 13, I am told that district 2 fell. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We can finally make an offensive push on the Capitol.

I also learn that the offensive plan doesn't include me. This spurs me into a mode of training and determination that I haven't had since I was rescued from the arena.

After three weeks of intense training and complete focus, I earned a spot on one of the squads being sent to the Capitol. The weeks have passed quickly and with each passing day I have hardened myself to him a little more. Peeta is slowly fading from my life.

As I boarded the train that would carry my squad to the battlefield I began the process of releasing all those that I cared about. I embraced the probability of my death, but focused on the satisfaction I was sure waited for me as I killed Snow.

One by one, I set them free and was successful until I came to Peeta. Call it divine intervention, but no matter how hard I had tried to forget him and put him out of my mind, he would always pop back up.

Maybe after this life was over, I could understand why he had such a permanent effect on me.

I don't know what is waiting for me at the end of this train ride. I only hope that I can do something that will give everyone a chance. Something that will give him a chance at a life he deserves – a life of hope.

And then we were…off.

A/N: The end. I think that Katniss is right in the frame of mind she was in the original SC works. She has all but written Peeta off, but in some way can't do it completely. She has developed a distrust (to an extent) of Gale and his ruthlessness. She is again on a self-serving mission to get some sort of justice for all that has befallen her in this life.

I will pick this up with my next story which will begin, most likely, right after the assassination.

Thanks for the reviews and the "favorites"