Starmites Issue 1: The Legend of Mikhail

Cast:

Dallas Fairchild: Dallas

Mother: Penny Dawson

Shak Graa: ? (It's a secret to everybody!)

Dallas Fairchild is an average teenager. He hangs out with his friends, goes to school and listens to music. Above all else, though he loves his comic books. Especially, his favorite, Starmites.

Starmites, the tale of a ragtag team of teenage boys who bond together to fight the evil forces of The High Priest of Chaos, Shak Graa. With the help of the otherworldly hero, Mikhail, they defeat Shak Graa and bring peace and happiness to both of their worlds.

"Issue One," Dallas says. "The Legend of Mikhail."

"Sweet!" he hears some voices say, but he doesn't pay attention to them, seeing as how he's been hearing them a lot recently. Dallas opens to the front page and read out loud enthusiastically.

"In the beginning, there was nothing, until the goddess, Oragala, created two races of people, the Banshees, and the humans. One day, though, a rogue human hatched a master plan to take over the world. He created a musical weapon of soul destroying power, known only as: The Cruelty. Oragala didn't like his plan, though, and stole The Cruelty from him, hiding it away in the far reaches of Innerspace, only to be revealed when the son of Diva's wedding vows are sealed."

"Yo, dude!" the voices return. "Look out for Diva, she's a mean she-demon. Yo! Look out! She's right behind you!"

Dallas jumps up on his bed, fist raised in glory. "Yo, begone, demon witch from hell!"

"Is that any way to talk to your mother?" Dallas looks behind him and sees his mom standing there, hands on her hips.

"Sorry, Mom." he says, stepping down from his bed.

"Mmhmm. Speaking of hell," she says, "look at this room. It's like a scene from Evil Dead, Part Two in here."

"Mom." Dallas whines, sticking his nose back in his comic.

"And no more comic books!" she says, snatching it from his hands. Dallas opens his mouth to protest, but his mother sits down on the edge of his bed, which is never a good sign, so he shuts it.

"I had a long talk with your guidance counselor, Ms. Delorean, the other day, and we both thought it would be in your best interest to stop this crazy obsession you have. It's not healthy!"

"But-" I say.

"Yesterday, I got a call saying you had jumped on your on your desk in study hall and were shouting crazy things like 'The dark lord is coming!'"

Dallas suddenly heard a different voice. While the others were teenage boys, this one was incredibly unsettling.

"I'm coming for you Mikhail!"

"Who's there?" Dallas says.

"We're worried about you, Dallas." his mom continues, unaware of his comment.

"Your mother can't save you!"

Dallas freaks out. He curls into a ball and starts rocking back and forth on his bed.

"Dallas! Are you even listening to me?" Dallas doesn't answer. He doesn't even hear her. "That's it! I've already sold your comic book collection on eBay." This snaps Dallas out of it.

"But Mom!"

"No 'buts'! Now you put those comic books back in their pristine wrappers. I'll be back for them later." She walks out of his room.

Dallas take a comic book in his hands.

Goodbye, O comic books, the love affair is ending
Adieu to thee, Stan Lee, DC, and Dell
Though it's been fun, the time has come to stop pretending.
All the dreams must end, so my super friends - farewell...

But oh - I wish I were a superhero guy.
Like in the comics! Like in the movies! Oh
Someday I'll be a superhero guy
Faithful and forceful and eternally true!
I'll crush every enemy of the red, white and blue!
Defend my fellow men (and my fellow women, too!)
That's what I'm gonna do*But oh - It's tough to be a superhero guy.
Cause no one knows it!
I'm not supposed to show it! Oh
Someday they'll know
The shy little guy they've been callin' a geek
The wormy little nerd who's much too nervous to speak,

That mess, I confess, is the hero they all seek!
I'll show them -
I'm sittin' in the lab, Biology 502
Some boys start makin' fun of me (like they always do!)
The teacher is no help (Just get me outta here, I wish!)
The boys dump rotten eggs into my petrie dish!

"Oh my God. This is right out of "Princess Amethyst of the Gemworld" : Volume 5, Issue 9, when Amy Winston accidentally opens the Well-Between-Worlds and the eggs hatch into killer dinosaurs!"

Oh no. There's poor little Morris,
mashed by a brontosaurus
And teacher's pet Camilla,
mangled by Godzilla.
The blackboard is all bloody
cause they ate Miss Magilicutty.

"Should I save them? Or should I let them die the death they so richly deserve?"

Oh no! Calling Superhero Guy!

"Save us, Dallas. Please!" he mocks. "You'll never save them, Dallas! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

As he feigns his evil laughter, he backs straight into his mom, who had just entered the room.

"That's it! I'm taking these!" she says as she walks to the comic books, picks them up and leave the room. Dallas sits on his bed with a disappointed look.

Oh - please let me be a superhero guy!
I'll get up one morning
and then without a warning Oh
Just watch me fly!
A new door is opening to who knows where!
I'm looking for the magic now to take me there!
I'm off on a brave adventure make it strange and new!
The curtain's goin' up I think I hear my cue!
I've lived in a crazy dream,
but now it's comin' true!
When I'm really a super guy, who knows what I'm gonna do?

He quickly grabs his laptop and and goes to .com.

Suddenly, he hears the same, unsettling voice from earlier.

"ACCESS DENIED, MIKHAIL! YOU HAVE BEEN REROUTED, TO .MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

A portal suddenly appears in his room, and four black-cloaked figures emerge from it, grab him and drag him through it.

"WHEN MIKHAIL RETURNS TO INNERSPACE, THE CRUELTY, AGAIN, SHALL TAKE ITS PLACE!" Shak Graa's voice booms. "Welcome to Innerspace, Mikhail! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"