Beyond
Flora Winters
I do not own Final Fantasy VII.
Summary: Sometimes the dead simply do not stay dead. This story will contain boy love, strong language, and scenes of explicit violence.
Chapter Eleven
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
--Pink
Playful shadows were dancing on wings of darkness across Zack's sleeping face. He looked so much younger when his eyes were closed in peaceful rest. Snowy white fingers were gently gliding through his spiky black hair that was softer than spider's silk.
Cloud gently traced his smooth, strong jaw line, and traced the perfect symmetry of his sensual lips that were slightly parted. He watched the slow rise and the slow fall of his chest as he traced circles across it, too.
"Sleep, Zack," he whispered, leaning ever so close, placing a kiss on his smooth cheek with ruby red lips. He then slid away from him with graceful silence, rising from the bed. He walked on quiet feet towards the door and exited the room.
He crept down the long hall and quickly knocked on Vincent's door. The door opened with an eerie swiftness and he stepped into the crawling darkness.
The dark haired angel was sitting on the bed, reading a small black book. He looked up at Cloud with burning crimson jewels and smiled.
"You look nice," he said, looking at him with curiosity in those molten red orbs.
Cloud rolled his eyes. All he had on was a pair of black pants. He hadn't taken the time to put anything else on.
"Everything is all set," he said, stepping up to the foot of the large bed.
Vincent nodded, setting the book aside. "I'll wait for your signal then."
Cloud walked across the room to look out the open window. The night breeze blew through his spiky yellow hair and he looked up at the glittering stars. They were all shimmering down with silver brightness. The moon was a prefect crescent in the starry vault.
"Do you believe in God?" Cloud asked in a frighteningly spooky voice. The tone was drowned in tragic horror.
He could feel Vincent standing behind him and he wanted for all of this to be real. He didn't want to wake up surrounded by rotting corpses that were gnashing their teeth at him, longing to devour his flesh.
"I don't know," Vincent said. His voice was like tiny little wings flapping in the shadows. "Why do you ask, Cloud?"
Cloud leaned out the window, breathing in the sweet scent of flowers on the warm breeze. He didn't know the answer himself. Who was the man that had sent him back here? Why had he done it? He wanted to believe it had been done out of kindness, but nothing was ever given to anyone for free. Everything had a price. Some say love is free…but even that is a terrible lie. Love has the biggest price tag of all and very few can pay it.
"Cloud," Vincent said, putting a naked hand on his left shoulder. "You're shivering."
Cloud chuckled, turning around to look up at him. "Am I?"
Vincent nodded. "Are you cold?"
"I don't feel cold," Cloud told him, shaking his head, and smiling with such cruel white teeth. "Maybe…maybe I am the cold."
Vincent took a small step back when Cloud took an advancing step forward. "Maybe I'm breaking, Vincent."
Red eyes softened.
"There's someone inside me," he said, turning his back to him once more. "All I want to do is hold Zack in my arms and never let him go…but…this other me…he wants to make everyone feel all the pain I have locked up inside."
"Cloud?" Vincent asked.
"I want to hold him so tight," he said, wrapping his snowy white arms around himself. "And watch all the evil in this world burn away below my feet."
"Cloud," Vincent said once more.
"Why were we created to suffer such terrible pain?" He asked the glowing night. "How much can one strong soul take before the mirror he looks into crashes and everything is shattered into brilliant distortions?"
He gasped when a set of powerful arms embraced him, holding him tight. He wanted to break and scream until he passed out from the lack of oxygen.
"You have Zack," Vincent whispered like opening moonflowers. "Let him be your strength. You have your second chance to save everyone you care about."
Everyone?
Cloud trembled in the dark angel's warm embrace. His heart was filled with such menacing shadows and yet there Zack was, illuminating everything with his dorky smile.
"We will destroy Shin-Ra," Vincent said, squeezing him gently. "We will keep them from ever causing another to suffer like we have."
The darkness in Cloud snarled and it hissed with a silent, seething rage. It wanted to lash out and have its way with anyone who dared to cross his line of sight.
It was in that moment he realized that it had nothing to do with the cells in his body. Jenova's voice was silent. She was nothing but monster shit for all he cared. It was all him. The darkness inside was all him.
Let me out, Cloud.
His eyes widened in vibrant blue shock.
Let me come out and play. I want to give all of Shin-Ra a big howdy-do.
He started to tremble even more.
"Cloud?" Vincent asked in real concern this time.
Why don't you take a nap, Cloud? Let me take care of everything. I'll make everyone who used Zack and destroyed you…suffer horribly.
The voice was strong. It was too strong. He could feel it pulling him in like a whirlpool of liquid darkness. It was lulling him, bewitching him.
NO! He mentally screamed. I will make them pay!"
The dark voice snickered like flames consuming a forest.
I'll always be right here, Cloud. I am you and you are me. I'm just one final snap away, pumpkin. I can't wait to show you just how freeing it is to just be you.
"Cloud!" Vincent snapped, shaking him now. "What's wrong?"
He spun around in Vincent's arms, holding onto him as tightly as he could. He just needed something firm and solid to hold onto. This was still Vincent and he trusted him.
"I want you to do something for me," he said, resting his head against his marble hard chest.
"What?" Vincent asked. His voice was slightly lighter and husky.
"Don't let me get me, Vincent."
Ruby gemstones blinked in confusion.
"If you see that I'm about to lose it," he whispered. "Embrace and pull me back from that tempting ledge."
"Shouldn't Zack be the one to do that?" Vincent asked.
Cloud shook his head. "No. I don't want him to see me destroy. I don't want him to see me covered in my enemy's blood. I don't want him to have to hear that kind of laughter."
Vincent was silent.
"If I do lose myself," he said, squeezing him. "I want you to take Zack, even if he's kicking and snarling like a rabid puppy, and fly away. I don't want him to see me until I'm me again…"
"You're starting to remind me of someone, Cloud."
Cloud froze. What did he mean? His eyes flashed. No! He was nothing like Sephiroth.
"I really think you should go back to Zack now," Vincent said, releasing his hold on him.
Cloud looked up at him and Vincent turned his face away from him.
"Before I say something," he said and Cloud let him go. "And do something foolish."
Cloud gazed down to see that his hand and claws were balled into trembling fists. What the hell?
"Promise me," he whispered, gently reaching out, and taking his golden talons in his hand. "Promise me you will get him away should I…"
"I promise," Vincent said, pulling his claws free. "Now go, Cloud. I will catch you later."
Cloud nodded and told him thank you. He silently walked from the room like a haunting spirit.
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Vincent watched him leave the room and heard the door close with a click. He held his talons in his hand, closing his eyes.
He felt so stupid. It was frightening. He had almost taken Cloud in his arms and kissed him the moment the blonde had taken his claws.
He was trembling. Nobody had ever touched his claws like that before…nobody sane. Was he slowly falling in love with Cloud's crazy?
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Cloud's paper white feet had carried him out into the quiet streets. He looked up to see that he was standing in front of a really old wooden door. He reached out with his hand and knocked. All the lights in the windows were off…except for one. He kept his head down as the door slowly opened. There was a small intake of breath.
"Cloud?"
He raised his molten blue eyes and smiled as warmly as he could. "Hi, mom."
He was suddenly embraced and he hugged her tight. "What kept you so long?"
He smiled. "Everything…"
"Where in the world are your clothes?" She asked in outrage, pulling him by the hand into the warm house. "Were you mugged? I'll get the gun. We'll hunt those bastards down."
"I'm at the inn," he said, laughing. His mom was still a trip. He took a seat on the sofa. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."
She nodded, fussing over him. He looked away.
"How sick are you, mommy?"
She fumbled, buy only for a moment. She gently wrapped a warm blanket around him. "How did you know?"
"It doesn't matter," he said, turning around on the sofa to look up at her. "I won't let you die. I can get you help."
She shook her head with a sad smile. "We can't afford help, honey."
Cloud's mind raced.
"I…I know Sephiroth, mom," he said, wanting to stick his fingers down his throat and puke. "He can get you help."
She sat down beside him.
"I love you," he said, smiling at her brightly. "I won't lose you this time…"
She blinked. "Huh?"
"Nothing," he said, throwing his arms around her slender frame. "I'm sure Sephiroth will help if I ask him to."
She smiled, hugging him back. "Where is that friend of yours? Is he here as well?"
Cloud nodded, letting her go. "Zack's snoring right now."
"As should you," she scolded, poking him on the nose, causing him to cross his eyes. "It's three in the morning, mister."
Cloud laughed. He really was here with his tripped out mommy.
"How about I fix an early breakfast?" She asked, tugging on his hair, fussing at how long he had let it grow. "And you invite Zack and Sephiroth."
Cloud nodded. He had not had a home cooked meal in…lifetimes. "I would like that…and Zack will look at you with these big blue eyes if you don't have enough for seconds."
"I know," she smiled. "You say so all the time in your letters. I swear you fuss about him like he's your lover or something."
Cloud blushed and she ruffled his hair.
"Here," she said, pulling a gun out from under the sofa cushion. "You carry this on your way back to the inn. You never know who could be out there just waiting for a beautiful young man to come strolling by half naked."
Cloud gawked.
"Don't worry," she smiled. "I have my shotgun by the bed. Tifa taught me how to cock it one handed. It makes me look more menacing that way."
Cloud snorted, taking the gun from her. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
TBC…
Please review and tell me what you think.
Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews.
Flora.